Name: Joe Rogan Experience #440 - Dom Irrera
Uploaded: 2014-01-15T02:56:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #440 - Dom Irrera' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-01-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #440 - Dom Irrera' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-01-15. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #440 - Dom Irrera

hello freaks i'm fucking multitasking right now as i speak to you i am actually
tweeting that
we're live and a lot of people are like dude you can't do that and i'm like
dude i can i'm
fucking badass not only that i also turn the volume off on my computer at the
same time i give zero
fucks i really do boom tweet then done done this episode of the joe rogan
experience podcast is
brought to you by squarespace squarespace is having a contest that's why we're
doing two of them this
week and what squarespace is is the easiest simplest way to get a really badass
website and when i say a
badass website i mean they look fucking completely and totally professional it
looks like you spent a
shitload of dollars doing it but in fact you did it yourself it's super easy to
do and squarespace
is having a contest right now to sort of accentuate that because the feedback
of squarespace has been
so excellent and their contest is uh we're going to pick we have the up to this
week january 17th it
ends and we're going to pick four of the baddest most sweetest websites and for
the people that have
those four baddest sweetest websites we're going to give them a free gear of
squarespace and we're
going to send those winners a swag bag with items like uh squarespace apple
keyboard a t-shirt moleskin
and more what do they have sound on their website how dare they what fucking
age are they living in
these freaks oh let me put sound on my website when it opens up so that it
immediately starts
shit out of you it's a video i was playing uh-huh you know those old school
websites you'd go to them
and they'd immediately start mine used to myspace remember there's like five
different songs going
at the same time and glitter tags don't forget glitter tags or glitter tags
what'd you just take
a modafinol you know what that is no you sure you don't want a xanax no no no
this is uh it's actually
like speed really yeah oh it's just the opposite it's it's not really speed it's
um it's it's actually
called nuvigil is what it is i can't take that if i'm uh if i'm tired and i
want to fire my brain up
i can pop one of those in it's actually an experiment because i tried something
called
sledgeline this weekend and jamie and i were actually just talking about it
this guy uh dr
mark gordon was here and he gave me these uh these uh smart drugs and uh just
we we tried it we both
tried a dose of it and uh interesting interesting stuff so i'm comparing it did
you feel more lucid
i don't know i'm not sure i'm not sure i'm you know it's hard it's hard to tell
like what was my
the fact that i got a good eight hour sleep what was the fact that i ate good
food what was
the wall i think they're all sort of they all play a part of the thing to
really find out you'd have
to have a baseline where you ate like the exact same foods did the exact same
activities got the
exact same amount of sleep you'd have to have that baseline and then add in
something but i take so
many different nutrients vitamins and fucking nootropics and all these
different things
without prescriptions that's all legal stuff so most of it is nutrients most of
it's
just vitamins keep in the brain shop dominic you gotta stay on the ball i think
it's amazing man
how lethargic you are when you go on stage all of a sudden your mind clicks
into a different gear
well you know well first of all you and i have both eaten dick on stage before
that's a fucking
terrible feeling so you know i can't have dick without balls you're prepping
let me get through
these commercials okay so we can just start podcasts uh anyway go tweet build a
website and tweet
the website the squarespace contest what are we talking about squarespace you
fucks pay attention
tweet it to hashtag jre squarespace before january 17th
so go to squarespace.com enter in the code word joe and the number one
which uh stands for where we are right now january
and uh and you can save some money as well
the um the thing that's beautiful about squarespace is if you can do anything
online like if you can
if you can just normal shit like drag and drop and click and if you know how to
select things
you could do this and the way that's it's it's so easy and so intuitive that
they have it set up so
you don't even have to enter your credit card information just go there and try
it if you like
it and you say this is pretty badass boom then from there then you give them
some money but
until then you're not obligated just go give it a shot use the offer code joe
and the number one
and that's joe and the number one that's for a free trial and 10 off your first
purchase
do you think you could do this you you are not a real computer wizard i'll tell
you that you're a
genius comedian but as far as computers wizard i would not i would not put you
in the wizard category
i think you could build a website on squarespace we should have a contest to
see if domerera could
build a web space on squarespace not without alcohol if we got you licking up
you can figure it out
if you had like a hot assistant you know maybe a hot japanese assistant oh no
mr allera no no no no
you must have it like this hey uh when my when my computer comes on i go yes i
did it again my man
i'm a wizard i'm a wizard you're wrong baby uh we're also brought to you by
ting uh ting is uh
one of the squarespace and ting are two of my favorite um podcast sponsors
because they're both
two podcast sponsors that i haven't had a single person tell me anything bad
about and then of
course someone listening to this right now is like i'll be that guy i'll be
first fuck ting can suck
my dick and squarespace is filled with cunts fuck you joe rogan um ting is a
great is a great way to
save money and use a sprint backbone you don't have to worry about being on
some mom and pop cell phone
network they use one of the biggest cell phone networks in the country and they
do it you know
it's weird they're from canada and they don't you know they're like they don't
operate in canada
they operate in the united states i mean you could roam in canada but they're a
canadian company that
works in the united states yeah it's weird from toronto i think yeah um i think
yeah um anyway great
guys and their idea great gals too i'm sure there's some awesome gals working
there i don't want to be
sexist um but their their idea is sell you awesome cell phone service and do so
in an ethical way
a no bs mobile service if you will and um they have no contracts no early termination
fees and they
even have an early termination fee relief program if you're paying an early
termination fee to come to
they will give you up to 75 back they will credit you 25 of your early termination
fee which is up to
75 per device it's really a great company i really like the idea behind this
sell you something that's
really excellent and do it in a way that doesn't make you feel like you're
getting fucked 98 of all
people who switched to ting save money i mean i've had three very good friends
that have done it
brian's done it uh dr chris ryan did it and you know they rave about it it's
excellent and you really
do save money um tons of money the other guys charge you if you go over your
allocated minutes
and text and data but if you have a heavier month on ting you just pay for what
you used it's really
simple so no mysterious items on your bill and unlimited devices on one plan
you can have as many
devices as you want on one plan sharing pooled minutes messages megabytes
everything each device
on a plan costs a flat six dollars per month they have it's really good deals
and the phones they
sell are all the highest end android phones all the really cool ones like the
um galaxy note 3 which
is what i have and brian has the um the galaxy s4 which is another excellent
phone the htc1 is an
excellent phone it used to be at one point in time that iphone was the king and
everything else just
sucked but it's very close now and in fact i give the edge to androids just
because their screens are
bigger it's a way better experience if you're if i'm reading my text messages
or watching a video that
someone sent me it's just a better experience on that that big screen sorry
apple i know you keep
hearing this from me and i know we were together for so long you know what i
want is that new
flexible phone have you seen that it flexes the whole phone that's i believe
that's just the screen
right yeah amoled screen isn't that what that stuff's called yeah type of class
plastic yeah you could work
out with the phone you could do a little in between the legs like suzanne somers
and get your
thigh master run i used to work with her don't make fun of her oh she's a
beautiful woman she was hot
hot as fuck ting go to ting rogan.ting.com and uh you'll save 25 off your first
ting device when you
sign up rogan.ting.com we love ting they're an awesome company we're also
brought to you by onnit.com
that's o-n-n-i-t they have a stay on it program now which uh all the on it
products you love
automatically deliver to your door each month at the lowest price guaranteed
our idea is that people
get annoyed with having to over and over again buy shit and order shit if you
know what you like and
if you've used it consistently you can get it done and get it done this way and
not have to think about
as much what on it is is basically we try we call ourselves a human
optimization website and what we
try to sell you is all shit that we think can benefit you whether it's health
whether it's cognitive
function strength and conditioning we sell battle ropes and kettlebells and all
things for making you
the the type of man that dom irera is i mean you're not going to get there
intellectually but if you could
just just just become a man through these did i lose too much weight joe look
at my face am i gaunt
i want you to be brutally honest you're not gaunt you're delicious thank you
you look soft and lovable
i just took a cow gone bath before i came over you have such smooth skin you
obviously not a man who has
to work too hard outside in the cold frigid temperatures i haven't done
anything since i did
started doing stand-up i've never worked i don't have a tool i don't and i want
to that's good
that's a real comic that's why you're still funny
uh where was i rogan on it whatever uh go get a battle rope wrap it around your
dick
stretch that stretch that thing out you weak fuck um just go there and check it
out on it.com
o-n-n-i-t i can't even continue doing these uh type of like super descriptive
commercials because
the people that have heard it a million times are freaking out but if you're
interested go to on it use
the code word rogan and save 10 off any and all supplements all right dom harreira
is here
i can't believe you got him and he's super awesome how'd you get him in the
studio
the joe rogan experience train my day joe rogan podcast my night all day
boom dunk dunk dunk dom harreira my brother what's up baby everything's good joe
you're a real comedian
dom harreira you know i you're just saying that for folks who didn't listen to
the commercial part
you don't have a tool you know you've never done a thing you never turned a
wrench yeah there's there's
toolbox there's two toolboxes in my house and they were the last two women that
live with me
that had a broad toolboxes i can't even lift it there's one i can't lift i don't
know how sophie
that's hilarious yeah every time somebody shakes my hand they go man you have
soft hands oh the butter
they're like butter smooth yeah that's uh that's i really do believe that there's
a real there's a
real factor in that you remaining on top of your game all these years like you
truly you truly like
completely you know you're a comedian that's it that's what you're capable of i
love it i could do
in a hammock i followed chris de leah the other night at the he did a standing
ovation at the left
factory right i walk in and this was true i i had just woken up i took a nap
like at nine o'clock at
night and the audience was