Name: Joe Rogan Experience #472 - Shane Smith
Uploaded: 2014-03-21T09:35:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #472 - Shane Smith' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-03-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #472 - Shane Smith' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-03-21. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #472 - Shane Smith

oh sweet baby jesus on a pogo stick this episode of the joe rogan experience
podcast is brought
to you by ting ting is a no bullshit mobile service what does that mean ladies
and gentlemen
what does that mean it means tang eliminates all the shit that's annoying about
going to a regular
cell phone provider but at the same time they give you the same service that
you would get if
you had sprint sprint is um their backbone that's what they use so all of their
data their phone
calls everything is done through sprint but you don't have to deal with
contracts you don't have
any early termination fees no bundling or ride-along services services no overages
on charges or
penalties with the way ting has it set up is you pay for what you use if you
use less you pay less if
you use more you pay more and it all makes sense it's real easy to follow and i
personally believe
that it is the model that all cell phone companies will be forced to adopt in
the future contracts are
nonsense it's gross you don't want to use them anymore so then all of a sudden
you have to pay
what is this lg flex is it's a curved phone have you seen it totally curved
yeah look at that see
what if you sit on the wrong way the ship breaks probably but it's probably
good for your front
pocket price like just curves right around your leg it probably feels great
maybe sideways put it on
your cock bag and take a lot of texts if you're one of those uh doug benson
characters like doug doug
switched it but he used to have it so every time someone would tweet it would
show up on his phone
his phone with buzz yeah you tweet his name he fixed that he got he wised up
anyway the uh phones that they
do have on ting they're they're all the top end android phones the uh samsung
galaxy note 3 which
is what i have they have the htc1 which is pretty fucking badass as well uh
they have the uh the galaxy
s4 which is another outstanding phone ting has basically everything you can
need as far as uh cell phones
all the top end android phones and as far as service they just cut out all the
bullshit and they save a lot
of people money 98 of people would save money on ting and if you go to rogan.ting.com
you can save 25 bucks
off of any new device it is an outstanding cell phone service it is a service
that many of our friends use
and uh are very happy with i've never had one person complain about it
absolutely the best android
phones that you could buy as well all the cool ones all the new shit do you
think you could do this
for a month have one of these flip phones could if i was like one of those contrarian
guys i was
hanging around a bunch of old dudes in dallas with these old karate guys and
they all had flip phones
it was hilarious yeah chuck norris is a fucking flip phone chuck norris flips
open his phone bob
wall from enter the dragon little flip phone i think there is something nice to
it about the idea of it
only being a phone especially having a razor right now you know how nice it was
to have a razor in
your pocket but it's also nice to be able to do everything from one device send
text and all that
imagine if you had one phone and then you had to send someone an address and
then you can send me
the contact information uh shit you can't copy paste you can't do anything fuck
all that man
that's just the past you don't want to have a carrier pigeon either all right
fuck a smoke signal
that's what i'm saying brian fuck a smoke signal you heard me i'm controversial
i don't know about
this lg flex though i don't know it might be cool might be annoying too seems
cool i seems like i
like see i think eventually they're gonna have roll up phones i mean it's gonna
be like a scroll
like a parchment to hear you hear you you're gonna roll out your phone it's
gonna be one of those flip
uh bracelets that the kids wear have you ever seen where it's like a big metal
thing that you yeah
snap around snap on your brace aubrey has a um one of those electric cars one
of those teslas
i thought those things were nonsense until i got in one holy shit is that they
have the dopest screen
i've ever seen in a car it's the whole front thing is a screen like the panel
in the middle like that
does the air conditioning the radio it's a giant computer screen dude it's
pretty wicked that shit
freezes up your whole car yeah your car is probably gonna crash for sure yeah
and if there's any sort of
electrical like shortage or anything like that some if your car gets hit by
lightning it's toast what is
that first year model that's crazy i think it's uh they've had cars before
because they had the tesla
sports car which was also a battery controlled car but that was a tricky car
because all the batteries
were in the ass end of the car and is a really light car so it's like one of
those old porsches the old
porsches have the engine hanging out back and it changes the dynamics of the
handling like when you go
around corners the ass end wants to pop around it's called oversteer like some
people like it it's kind
of fun to drive like that but you have to get used to it and know what it's
going to do if you're used
to driving a regular car and you're used to like going sideways and like a corvette
or something like
that and you get in one of those things it's a very different sort of uh
dynamic they look cool
though you've seen those little plastic things they look like little fun matchbox
cars yeah they look
like a little lotus that's what they look like and uh apparently they're pretty
fast too uh and all
electric you know which cool in la you could actually really do it electrically
because you could have
solar that's charging your car i mean a lot of people have that now where they
have just a solar
charger to their car so their car's not hooked up to the grid at all wow yeah
pretty wicked has nothing
to do with ting though rogan.ting.com go get yourself bitches it's uh an
awesome cell phone service
and we love them we're also brought to you by onnit.com that's o-n-n-i-t if you
have not been to onnit
then you obviously are not optimized bitch what does that mean um what does it
mean it means that's
what onnit is about onnit is a human optimization website that's a nice way of
saying we sell shit
that makes your body work better whether it's strength and conditioning
equipment whether it's
supplements like hemp protein powder or uh foods rather like hemp protein
powder or supplements like
new mood or shroom tech sport or uh any of the products that we provide we sell
things that we use
that we think help you work better whether it's things like kettlebells or
batter ropes or whether
it's uh different kinds of uh supplements and healthy snacks we started selling
uh these new things
called warrior bars they're fucking awesome they're made out of buffalo and
cranberry in an ancient
native american recipe it's no antibiotics no added hormone completely gluten-free
and it gets gives you
14 grams of protein in each serving and they're fucking delicious it's it's
literally a no guilt snack
that tastes yummy with no msg no nitrates no antibiotics or added hormones
super awesome for you
and tastes delicious we said we just try to sell you shit that's cool anything
that we find that's good
find the finest hemp protein powder available that we bring in from canada
because our corrupt politicians
won't let american farmers make some cash that's how we roll uh go to on it.com
o-n-n-i-t use the code
word rogan save 10 off any and all supplements ladies and gentlemen shane smith
is here why fuck around
any longer oh we have a show friday night at the uh ice house it's uh called
thunder pussy and uh if
you've never been to a thunder pussy show it's not a regular comedy show what
you can get a bunch of
fucking windows open what thunder pussy is is it's a show where no one plans
what they're gonna say
everyone goes on stage fucked up the audience calls out ideas and everyone just
starts talking shit
sometimes it's awesome
last time it was awesome
it's cool because it's a unique comedy show
you you'll never see another like with these comics doing these bits because
they're just making them up on the fly while they're on stage
yeah and you can't you can't come on stage with some fucking material
no that's it that's one of the rules you're not allowed to do that
you're not allowed to use any material
they'll boo that's a joke you wrote that you weak bitch
uh it's a lot of fun uh and i'll be there and eleanor kerrigan
jeremiah watson rob gleason omar nava i don't know who that is but i like the
name
a lot of people a lot of fun people jason rouse jason rouse yeah rouse he's the
one that uh he
he did that that website contest that we had and he was so like wanting to win
like he every day
you checked with me like did i win to what did i oh the um squarespace yeah
website contest
that was those some fucking dope websites uh there was too many websites a
bunch of people should have
won that contest we should have 100 winners anyway uh ice house uh friday night
and it's the little room
that which is like 90 seats it's a really sweet spot to hang out all right that's
it on it dot com
co-word rogan thunder pussy friday night uh that's it everything else go to joe
rogan.net for all my
tour dates i got a lot of shit coming up in miami april 3rd i'm in miami bitch
orlando april uh 18th
with joey diaz and then baltimore on the 25th of uh april also with joey diaz
all right that's it
come play the music joe rogan podcast check it out the joe rogan experience
train my day joe rogan
podcast by night all day powerful shane smith world traveler internationally
known locally accepted
bad motherfucker out doing ridiculous all over the world and not slowing down
anytime soon
are you the new rupert murdoch i keep hearing that keep hearing you're the new
rupert murdoch what does
that mean i don't know why i keep coming on here you love me all i get is i
love you you all i get is
shit no i love you i love i love uh i love everybody in this room uh no i know
i'm not the next rupert
what's the latest man where the fuck have you been where are you getting back
from every time i've
emailed you or talked to you or twitter or text messaging you're in the middle
of fucking nowhere
yeah and some dark places it's so funny we were talking before the show and he's
like yeah i should
get you to do some of these things i can send you the north pole like bitch i'm
not going to the
fucking north pole you don't know me man that's a good one though that's the
easy one what are you
saying the north pole is not good or easy that's ridiculous there's polar bears
up there right there's
polar south south pole polar bears which one is north pole yeah yeah yeah so
one of them has penguins
one of them doesn't south pole south pole is penguins penguins north pole doesn't
polar bears
why would that possibly be easy well it's a it's a bitch to get to because you
have to like
fly a thousand times and then go you know with a sled and dogs and and ice
helicopters and
shit and whatever but uh it's a it's a crazy story what's going on there like
that's like uh
you know world war iii happening up there so this is the place where what's
going on in in the middle
of the north pole now so the ice is melting right and and a that's leading to
two things one opening up
of passages so russians can come right across which is great because now it
looks like we're going back
to the cold war but um it's also just tons of oil tons of minerals it can now
be sort of you know
mind yeah because the environment the ice is we'll just fuck it up even more so
what's happening is
everyone's amassing huge uh sort of caches of arms so uh you know the russians
obviously are getting up
there everyone's planting flags on the seabed floors this is ours no this is
ours oh so the scandies are
trying to get in there canada's trying to get in there both are being destroyed
by the russians
and the americans oh chinese are in there everybody's getting there with subs
you