Name: Joe Rogan Experience #485 - Amy Schumer
Uploaded: 2014-04-15T09:50:52.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #485 - Amy Schumer' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-04-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #485 - Amy Schumer' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-04-15. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #485 - Amy Schumer

sweet baby jesus on a pogo stick this episode of the joe rogan experience this
is a late night
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anyway joe rogan die
squarespace.com entering the code word joe we're also brought to you by stamps.com
and with stamps.com is a way to avoid a lot of the nonsense that goes along
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oh good googly moogly son you do not want to have to go to the fucking post
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it's just a suggestion and i don't know like how you deal with things when you're
naked or when you're drunk you might make poor choices so you might not want to
use stamps.com when you're drunk and naked but if you're sober in your home you
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squarespace is an awesome way to start a website and stamps.com is an awesome
way to sell shit i like that they go hand in hand do you see how i rock shit amy
schumer
full circle craziness
stamps.com has been used by brian redband for a long time if you buy one of his
cool kitty cat t-shirts that he designs and makes himself those are all sent
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we're almost home amy schumer we're almost home we're at the home stretch
we're also brought to you by onnit.com that's o-n-n-i-t a human optimization
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it it seems a little douchey and pretentious
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but uh... that's really what we're about so there's no other way to say it
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uh... it sounds good until you're talking to someone who's skeptical and then
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the most recent one
all these were done by a guy named steven shubin jr badass artist created these
uh... awesome things
and then we made them out of metal and they are all 3d balanced so although you
know
they look cool and everything like that we all also want to make sure they're
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uh... i use the 70 of course the gorilla because i'm a fucking manly man and i
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after the apocalypse comes and the aliens land and they try to decipher our
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you know what the fuck are these people into the world
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that's that's o n n n i t the code word is rogan amy schumer is here why fuck
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joe rogan podcast check it out
the joe rogan experience
train by day joe rogan podcast by night
all day
powerful amy schumer
hello
can we start every show that you're on like that
with a little song
please
powerful amy schumer song
i would love it
thank you
i want to be brought on stage that way
why not you could do it you could demand that
people have riders
yeah
a lot of people have riders
you know they put a lot of weird shit in there like white m&ms and fucking
i heard i have the cheapest the guy i've been on the road with said i have the
cheapest
rider he's ever seen in his life
really
yes
cheapest
like what's your rider what do you do what do you require
it's like honestly vegetables and fruit for a smoothie
like some greek yogurt it's just like he's like
beautiful perfect
yeah
and then wine which i tell him to hide from me unless i ask for it
what about a pair of white sneakers
i should do that
clean
i need like a hip-hop
i need a hip-hop vibe
i've got nothing
well there's some artists that do demand things like that
they demand like uh
every time i go to one of these places
i always ask the guys backstage
like what's the craziest shit you've ever seen
yeah
because a lot of these dudes that are like working in these
comedy clubs or these
especially these theaters that have seen like rock and roll bands coming
through
right
you always want to know like what come on man
what's the craziest shit you've seen
just rock and roll coke stories for the most part
that's what everybody has
i mean i wouldn't repeat the stories because i wouldn't want to get anybody in
trouble
but they're mostly just coke and naked people stories
funniest one i ever heard was tj miller that comic
he asked for either an actual or a picture of a pinata
in the green room so like sometimes the promoter has to like draw the picture
of a pinata
i'm like that's awesome i wish i've got nothing exciting on there
but until recently there was some mistake where it told drivers not to look at
me or not to talk to me like something was in there and in december i heard
that and i go oh my god that's not supposed to be there please take that out
and they haven't i just found out they didn't so it's so
because i'm always like why is there such horrible tension in this on this ride
and then they're like
they're like and i'll talk to them they're like oh you know it says i'm not and
i'm like oh my god that's so embarrassing
like me being like no don't talk to me i've had that in my rider accidentally
as well not even accidentally like it was a conversation that somebody must
have had with someone like you shouldn't talk to them
it's like what are you talking about like that that's ridiculous yeah i used to
be really pained by small talk actually like on the road because you have so
many little interactions
but but colin quinn like really turned me on to small talk he goes so hard into
small talk that like people go the other way it's like an art form to him
he one one driver at a time one person who works at a hotel like he just he'll
small talk you to death and it and it really has it really has like sort of
changed the road for me
i've had some great drivers i've had some really really hilarious dudes i had a
dude in new orleans that grew up in new orleans and had no idea how crazy new
orleans was
craziest place i've ever been in yeah and in comparison to the rest of the
country like there's certain things you just get away with in new orleans like
walking down the street with an open beer
like he was the cops pulled him over he was uh and he was only like you know a
couple hours outside of new orleans he said he drove a couple hours
and he's out there with a beer like sitting there uh by his car drinking this
beer and the cop pulls over
and the cop starts asking him questions and while the cop's talking to him he
puts the one beer down and cracks open another one
oh my god like nothing like nothing starts drinking the second beer and the cop
was like are you out of
your fucking mind like what are you doing he goes wait a minute the cop goes
where are you from and
the guy goes new orleans and he's like oh okay yeah listen you can't do that
here you can't do that
anywhere else yeah you live in a crazy place it's such a cultural i love it
there that's my that's also my
favorite place but i've seen i've seen the worst stuff there the worst the
worst violence the combination of
everything bad and i went to college in baltimore like not a coincidence that
they filmed the wire there
uh but in new orleans i was like 17 i was there in a volleyball tournament and
i was in a haagen dazs
and i saw these like two guys straight from the bayou and they were talking
they were both like
hitting on this girl and they didn't know that it was a hooker and they didn't
know that it was a
guy you know and i was like 17 i was like oh that's dark and they were like
both like celebrating
that this hot girl was talking to them and i was like oh one of them is about
to catch a dick
that's hilarious yeah but i love that city it's my favorite a friend of mine
once in california and
my friend eddie we were in um we were right by the comedy store you know that
hotel by the comedy
store that ramp that's going up yeah and this woman was driving up the up the
hill and my friend eddie
was like dude that chick is so fucking hot oh my god look how hot that girl is
yeah and uh she was a
transvestite who had a transsexual that had done a piece on the man show with
us and i said oh i know
her and i'm like she's a he he's like no fucking way i go well not anymore she's
not but she used
to be i guess she still kind of is because she has a penis still yeah and he
was like what what was
the difference transsexual transvestite transsexual is someone who has gotten
their sex changed
okay transvestite is someone who dress as a woman you know you could be a cross
dresser too yeah it's
kind of weird when you define you know like what they are like what it what is
a person who dresses lik