Name: Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - May 10, 2014
Uploaded: 2014-05-11T09:32:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - May 10, 2014' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-05-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - May 10, 2014' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-05-11. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - May 10, 2014

what this episode is ladies and gentlemen if you're if you're tuning into this
podcast you go
oh i'm gonna listen to an intellectual discussion this is gonna be fascinating
no this is four guys
sitting around watching the ufc and we might get drunk okay brendan schaub is
here brian callen is
here aubrey marcus is here and i'm here and what we we decided to do is while
the fights are going
on we're in my podcast studio we figured fuck it man let's watch the fights
with friends have a good
time have a couple of cocktails a couple of adult beverages i brought i brought
some 2003 bordeaux
did you really where is that pour it in a coffee let me pour you some i'll pour
it in a real glass
i don't want a real glass well you'll have it oh you they call me the aristocrat
for a reason
anyway so if you're looking for a regular podcast skip oh look i got a million
of them but this ain't
one of them this uh may not ever happen again but it's happening right now uh
shawb and calen and i
talked about doing this for a while aubrey just happens to be in town right now
so uh we're doing
it right now we're watching the uh the prelims and uh no sponsors well we're
sponsored by on it go to
on it.com o-n-n-i-t and get your freak on use the code word rogan still waiting
for you to fucking
email me your address you clown i texted to you bro i told you email it to me
you fucking
clown i'm not emailing did i not tell him you did i'm not using email i told
you email it to me
so i can email to aubrey oh yeah i'll get right on that i can't get my best
friend else all i want
as anything else he does i want it's so hard it's so hard to email people
impossible one piece of
iron for my best friend write it down on that little yellow pad there i just
want to do kettlebell
workouts he doesn't care about my piece of you should have seen brian trying to
pull back a 90
pound bow the other day it was one of the saddest things i've ever seen in my
life he tells me it's
all in tech it's all in the technique oh it is yeah it's all in the technique
of lifting weights
for many years shut up it's all in the technique i wasn't warmed up i wasn't
warmed up it was so sad
my back anyway um he needs kettlebells aubrey he needs a lot of things but
kettlebells are also on
the main i don't know if he wants one he won't give us the idea i want the chip
he doesn't want
no no man maybe if he has it look at him let's see what we got here today the
the main fights
costa philippo is a good fight versus lauren zarkin that's the co-main uh eric
coke is uh
is fighting on this card as well let me pull it up on ufc.com which uh ufc.com
is a very good
website but the ufc app boy does that suck a fat one that is a fucking terrible
app whoever made that
app how dare you coach versus crookshank it would be the fight of the night
that's a very good fight
eric coke versus darren crookshank such a very good fight and crookshank who's
who's
his last opponent he's so fun to watch man oh yeah no shit man darren is uh he's
a taekwondo
guy originally he's got wild ass fucking kicks but he's also like putting
together the rest of his
game now you might have the best nickname in sports what is it detroit
superstar what what it's a little
long no it's dope nicknames should be shorter and his style is sick i don't
know uncle creepy i think
uncle creepy takes it for me that's pretty good a little creepy the detroit
superstar it's not a bad
what would my name be if i was a fighter brian the irritable the irritable brian
the grumpy you
wouldn't when he doesn't eat he gets grumpy callen you you really wouldn't have
a nickname no no what
do you mean i have i need a nickname you'd be the kid what about this how about
this how about this
brian brendan schob callen mike rio was the the last fight god damn that was a
good fight
jesus in the mike rio fight uh darren crookshank was on fire is that where he
went with kicks right he's
laying a lot of everything he was landing everything he just looked sensational
nuts and coke's a bad
motherfucker dude you know coke is uh he's a very talented kid i mean he lost
to uh poirier but then
he came back and uh beat jaffiello olivera he lost two right he lost to poirier
and then he lost lost
to ricardo lamas that's right back to back yeah but two tough fucking guys two
really tough guys why did
you pour this in the glass you made sure you poured it in glass yeah well it
tastes better in a glass
yes it does coffee mug the the the bouquet shut up the bouquet shut your mouth
bring it to your nose
shut your fucking mouth take it into your mouth hey did you guys see eddie wineland
lost today i
know got knocked out by this kid who hasn't fought in two years first round i
believe it was the second
round i think it was the end of the first could be am i crazy it might have
been i was watching it while
i was working out so you might who was the guy i lost to uh i'll tell you right
now i have a computer
but uh wineland i mean coming off of a title fight right you know uh comes off
of that fight then
looks sensational in his next fight he fights um just get caught he fought eve
joe boy and stopped him
and looked fucking sensational no well he fights in a weird way he wineland
keeps his never lifts his
hands above his nipples aggressive too super aggressive super strong i mean he's
a really good fighter he
moves his head a lot he's got a lot of feints and he gets away with it and the
punches come from all
kinds of crazy angles because his hands are low but that's never a good style
it's just never a good
style keeping your fucking hands low is never good and this kid cracked him
johnny eduardo cracked him
with the right hand in the first round um yeah it was you're right round one
four minutes 37 seconds
in round one caught him with a right hand earlier in the round and then stunned
him with one about
four minutes 20 in and then followed up with another one and dropped him and
his legs just completely
gave out eddie's always that guy who's won away from a title just in that
weight class he's always
he's always right there especially one big win he's there coming off that eve
joe boy fight where
he looked close fucking sensation and joe boy is a bad motherfucker dude that
was that was a really
good fight and eddie what what rank number four i think so it's close number
four one win exactly
he's number four he takes this fight against an unheralded guy who hasn't
fought in over two years
this kid hadn't fought in i think it was something crazy like 700 days god oh
my god uh man top
that's where it doesn't pay to take fights like this yeah you're right you're
right well a lot of guys
sit out and people give them a hard time and they say oh fighters fight but you
know what it's not like
that man it's a business yeah like the you should have a manager listen you
have to ask me a fight i take
it but at the same time too you want to fight the highest ranked guy the most
famous guy possible
that's all anyone cares about man the highest ranked guy who would you ever
turn down who have you
ever turned down and why um man the only fight i ever turned down it was once i
don't remember his
name he uh huge guy uh grappler abu dhabi fought uh peewee herman lost peewee
herman fight of the night
you know what i'm talking about yeah he retired enormous dude god damn it okay
let's dave herman
pull that up the rock he really sweats a lot is that the guy guy sweats a lot
guy who sweats a lot
man i forget his name god damn it like super muscular and my my manager called
me and uh with the fight
and i was like uh oh john olive animo animo yeah animo so they called me the
fight and uh i just got
off fighting no gara so i'm not gonna go no gara animo right i was just like no
man not happening
and uh my manager's like well let's see what they come with i said all right
well if it's a do or die
i'll take it let's do it i'll destroy this guy and then they came up with a
different opponent came up
with rothwell but that's the only fight where i was like i don't think so man
right yeah the only time
yeah it's a tricky thing right like when you you want to take a fight if you're
you know if you need
a fight if you need the money you want to take a fight but if you're in a
situation where they offer
you something dangerous on two weeks notice yes like sometimes cards fall apart
and they try to pull
that card together like they're making a bunch of calls this week to try to get
someone to fight
vitor in brazil because junior dos santos just broke his hand junior dos santos
is supposed to fight
stipe miocic he broke his hand um they had miocic is now gonna fight right maldana
yeah fabio
maldonado yes who's a 205 or who's fat at 205 true you know and now he's
stepping up to fight heavyweight
and stipe miocic who's a top 10 guy so it's a it's kind of a crazy matchup that
probably wouldn't be
approved in the states i agree and i also heard that you can get your money
back oh wait why would why
wouldn't that fight be approved in the states like there's a 205 or fighting a
top 10 heavyweight
so there's a commission that says that's just too much of a mismatch well not
even a 205 or a 205
that's been zombied you know i mean he's been beaten senseless by a bunch of
guys he's a tough
motherfucker he's as tough as they come fabio maldonado is so tough that you
got to watch out
for him if he fights a big guy because you got to go god this guy takes so much
punishment
he's so fucking tough you got to protect almost protect him from the other end
though i can see
because stipe has in the past don't get me wrong stipe's a beast used to be a
training partner
mine super freak too athlete too monster however when he fought struve he kind
of gassed out got
knocked out correct yeah yeah now in this fight it i mean the cardio could be
an issue and uh fabiano
boxing is really really good yeah he's got the most rabid fans in the world
driving him that's true we
watch we watched him in brazil yeah and they'd go crazy for fabio maldonado is
just as tough as fuck
he's the hero he's tough as fuck man he's and he's probably one of the best
body punchers in the sport
my concern would just be the size just a sheer size difference what is stipe
walk around at 230
240 so who's who's this right now who's fighting right now and jane give us
give us some volume so
we can at least hear it hearing it is fine chris carriazzo and who's he
fighting though give us some
volume bruce buffer with the official introduction that's the coolest the
coolest fucking thing is
watching bruce buffer introduce fighters in brazil because everybody together
goes it's time
really gangster awesome thousand people will be doing it in sync no way oh it's
amazing it's one of the
coolest things ever he's actually great he's got that great voice bruce buffer's
the best he really
is the best the best bruce buffer i've seen him at gold's gym i work out there
in the off season
i saw him in gold's gym on the cable machine doing the bruce what was it the
180 turn no he works it
out he works it out he works it out and and i it's so explosive i didn't see
him and i'm walking
through the gym i hear hybrid in front of everyone i was so embarrassed so
embarrassed oh that's funny
that's he's good though he doesn't take he doesn't have a card with him or
anything he just remembers it
all that's not true at all he has a card constantly nobody told me what are you
talking about he reads
off the cards he throws the cards on the ground when he's done oh really
fucking jackass get your
facts right oh maybe i was talking about the rock again shit by the way all you
cunts that get mad
at me for giving brian a hard time do you know i'd love this motherfucker like
a brother and i would
give him a hard time if it was a podcast or no podcast exactly that's how
friends hang with people
get sensitive for me thank you everybody fun thank you america thank you by the
way he'll do that to
me too okay that's what friends are all about just not on the po