Name: "The Women of Fox News" with Lee Camp (form Joe Rogan Experience #429)
Uploaded: 2014-05-30T22:51:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"The Women of Fox News" with Lee Camp (form Joe Rogan Experience #429)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-05-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"The Women of Fox News" with Lee Camp (form Joe Rogan Experience #429)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-05-30. Transcript available.

the Joe Rogan experience you were on Fox News yeah I was you were there once
upon a time you
made it in there did it smell like sulfur it smelled like souls why are the
girls that work
they're so fucking hot because they know how to hire people apparently that's
that's insane they're
way too hot it's not fair because men will agree with them just to hope that
they will say yeah
and high-five you you'll change your whole philosophy and there's you can find
clips on
YouTube where people just put together every time they like open their legs
during various segments
like praise the Lord they're too hot it's unfair that's like hypnosis you know
some of those what
was that woman's Megan what's her name the really angry one Megan Kelly she's
so fucking hot it's
ridiculous where is she show me some Megan Kelly this is uh oh this is him this
is really cool
play this because this is how I found out about Lee but back it up so I'm sure
you guys are gonna
have a lot more jokes for the rest of the campaign here they just keep going
can I can I just ask a
question sure what what is Fox News it's just a parade of propaganda and it is
just a it's just a festival
of ignorance what only a million people are dead in Iraq come on this is
ridiculous what's the point of
this um this is insane I love uh I love people at home go outside go go hug
your children
love your family you know you get all the news you can at Fox News all right
thanks this is the best
watch this this is the best part we're also talking about Captain Kirk this
morning and hey because it's
Saturday morning we're having some fun Greg you've got the cushiest job in the
world yeah look who just
uh being the board right now the ladies from the Starship Enterprise hello
welcome this is four hot
chicks in an outfit their friend bone Dr. McCoy just wrote a new book on
Captain Kirk and the way he
was able to woo beautiful women like this it's all coming up it's a book about
Captain Kirk getting laid
but come on the fictional character Captain Kirk too by the way yeah not even
William Shaqner yeah no
not a tell-all book I was in the green room with them I could not figure out
why there were these
women there I had no idea how about that you just it was almost like it was
scripted because you said
that and then they showed you was the most inane stupid piece of shit yeah I
didn't even know that
was coming up next oh my god it was perfect you couldn't have been what if they
went to some serious
news and fucked you yeah he wanted to you could see in his face as he read the
teleprompter he was
like all right we're gonna get out of this and go to ah shit indeed fuck it's
like completely proved
your point like right away like come on man how did Kirk get laid he just gave
it they wrote that
he got laid the writers made him get laid he's not a real guy yeah jesus
fucking price this is
aliens there's two wars going on the fucking entire banking system had to be
bailed out by
taxpayers money he was really they just wanted to see what a human cock was
like that's how he got
laid do you think they have like a bunch of shit that they will throw out there
like beach balls to
distract and they get like they get it from the cia every week star trek they
just have to send it do
like this is what we want you to talk about this week like really just to zap
the american mind
what about bob rain since yeah yeah no no no no no no you know i mean i don't
believe that it is
i don't believe i i think i tend to think that it's more incompetence than than
it is conspiracy i think
it's ratings they don't actually care about the news they only care about
ratings they don't care about
the news but i think in general like even the the most of what we think of as
being this big gigantic
conspiracy with our government and the media is more incompetence and whorish
behavior than anything
just they're prostitutes yeah they prostituted themselves out because that's
the way they got
the good assignments they got the good places they got the big ratings i mean
you don't get to that
point you don't get to that job unless you've proved yourself a faithful foot
soldier to whatever their
messages generally you know they're not you're not gonna get hired on there
yeah and even guys that
used to be kind of like rebels like heralda rivera heralda rivera was kind of a
rebel at one point
yeah yeah you know he was the guy that had dick gregory on tv and showed the
zapruder film for the
first time and wasn't he also the guy got a fist fight at a kkk rally i think
on his show someone hit
him in the head with a chair they might not even been trying to hit him it was
just a melee and i think a
chair went flying and he got his nose broken and he was but he was so excited
so excited he had an
actual cut on his face i'm a tough guy like wasn't he was supposed to box frank
stallone or something
crazy like that too was he a long time ago oh my god they might have actually
done it i don't know
i'm pretty sure but he's a wild dude or at least he was a wild dude you know
and now he's just like
fox news puppet it's weird when you see the the ones that actually stick to
their guns they they don't
last long i mean chenk yuger lasted two months at msnbc before he wanted before
he needed to leave
amber lion is another one that left because her bahrain story actually you
mentioned bahrain uh cnn
she brought it back to them and said this is what's going on bahrain but they
were doing ads
talking about how great bahrain was and they wouldn't play her segment yeah
yeah she she's been on the
podcast before and she explained it all to us and it's it's so hard to believe
that what we consider to
be like a shining revered institution of news like cnn is just a propaganda
wing that they that they're
capable of that kind of behavior if she's telling the truth i don't know i wasn't
there i assume she
is she seems very honest i don't know anybody else's side on the other side i i
don't know i don't know
what the fuck's really going on so i probably shouldn't comment on what cnn did
or didn't do but
i know for a fact they're not reporting a lot of that's going on they're not
reporting a lot of
shit and i feel like all these networks the mainstream media it's a very small
box of accepted
thought that is allowed on them it's not it's not they're not going to go
either very far to either
side or or outside that box no it's it's not really the news and that's one of
the more interesting
things about the internet is because the internet now there's all these sources
that are like more
real news like they're telling you about that's going on that you might not
have known
speaking of anal fox news girls why are they so hot those girls are so goddamn
hot like i don't
want to marry them i don't want to have relationships with them but if i was a
single man i would be
very attracted to those angry bitches or the weathermen in la i just think they're
so they're so like
aggressive i don't know they're so strong like they're so stern in their
opinions yeah most of
them are not dumb there's nothing to do with dumb no there's something sexy
about those mean
bitches yeah yeah yeah just because i'm a glutton for punishment but if you um
like when you're on
that show like what what is it like when you're in that studio does it feel
weird do you feel like
well that's the thing it's like all of them just seem like they're doing their
job i mean yeah they
work for the evil empire but they don't they're just like whatever gets them
through the day oh i need
to say this thing and this thing and then we're you know we wrap for the day
like so i had to remind
myself why it was important for me to do that i like reread an article about
how a million people died in
iraq i mean this was this was several years back and uh and you know it because
you don't want to
up the show like yeah i i felt like i needed to do it i only wanted to be on
there once i was like
if they're having me on it's gonna be a one-time thing this is it dude it was
if you were like a
publicity whore and i know you're not but that would be an awesome move i mean
it worked out great i
never thought it was 7 a.m on a saturday i truly thought the only people and
this was four or five
years ago where not everything on the news went online right i truly thought
the only people seeing it
with fox news fans at 7 a.m on a saturday and instead it went up online and
viral and all that
shit if you got something relevant to say the internet will catch it yeah they'll
find it and
they'll put it out there dude go back to that girl like standing that sitting
there with her legs open
this is insane i just want to point something out of how we are so weird like
as a culture that this
is a part of like normal everyday office life like we got to make some
decisions here like okay look at
this woman she's showing everything but her vagina i mean her knee is just
strategically blocking her
labia her legs are wide open and she's hot as now here's the thing if you put
the chiron right in
front of the vagina then everybody would know the news exactly we'd be a very
informed country and women
would get angry at you if you knew the news oh you were looking at her vagina
and you read the news huh
like she like it's just weird that they get to dress like that like she's
completely wearing come
fuck me pumps back that up again let's let's dissect this look at her like her
shoes those are like i
want to go out and get sexy shoes those are not comfortable by any stretch of
the imagination they
show most of your foot your heart almost her entire legs are exposed i mean you
imagine if a guy was
sitting there like that do you know how bizarre that would be if there was a
show where a guy was
sitting there in a tiny tiny kilt and you know that you could bear if he moves
his left knee an inch
to the right you're gonna see his cock for sure and they also have like an
ejection button that slings
them into the stratosphere once they hit 35. they hit an age limit they
disappear oh poor girls that's sad
it's like she has some kind of irritation down there or something well i think
sarah palin brought the
dumb milf back so who knows maybe uh maybe it'll move in that direction but i
don't think she
actually brought it back she brought it back for a little bit but now people
are like god you say
too much crazy gilf gilf you're forgetting the grammar right right right she's
gilf you don't want
to say that though because it'll with your dick it's creepy yeah milf is okay
but gilf not so much
it's just weird that we have these odd standards of of sexual attire in the
workplace and not just in
the workplace but on television like on television promoting this strange
propaganda machine and just
really hot girls with their vaginas hanging out yeah explosions and hot girls
okay i can't pay
attention whatever the she's saying or she's your thighs oh my god see if i see
that girl i go wow i
wish she liked me you know especially if you're lonely and you know you're not
married or anything
is like 12 times her size yeah it's rob ford's fat brother and what other shows
has like cameraman
from the ground that's an upskirt that is an upskirt it's totally an upskirt
they're panning from the
vagina up it's off center just slightly he's trying to show off his too though
you gotta give him credit
he's well you know he's gotta go to war you know you gotta get a respect so he
just he doesn't give a
a look look the only way i'm gonna get this one is if i let her know i don't
give a here's my gut
i'm not trying to cover myself up i'm standing extra straight i'm spreading my
legs wide look at
that package he's going for the don't give a points he's like i might be a fat
but i'll
the out of you you dirty i'm fat because i like to live the good life that's
what he's saying
i like how there's playlists of all the different ones who's that one the one
that you just showed
that's a fox one too the redhead yeah it's great that one the blonde that was
on the screen i know
who she is that's the one she's been on the these things before they're all hot
though they're
beautiful it's weird but it's just such a dirty trick i'm not especially like
if you're married
and you know when you're you're trying to be monogamous you're gonna look at
sex in a different
way because you look at like a girl that's like super super hot and you go oh i
could never get that
if you're single even if you're delusional you'd be like man if i just ran into
her at the right
place in time maybe this could happen so it's a different thing so it's the
there's a wistful
almost romantic way you look at the fox news girls if you're married on the on
this on the same
note it's like when i went out when a hot celebrity like gets divorced there's
something
inside the most loser of guys it's like now i got a shot yeah you know like
like angelina jolie
gets divorced and people like okay they think all i gotta do is be there i'm
just there guys are so
fucking delusional they feel like all they gotta do is be at the right place
the right time you know
maybe she goes to the car shop because her wiper is broken she wants to try to
fix it herself and
you know i get to impress her by my knowledge of windshield wipers and she
realizes i'm just a
regular guy and sometimes girls jesus christ look at this look at this she
actually pulls her skirt up
look bam like oh how dare you pulling it up how dare you you dirty bitch oh my
god look how she sits
it's just like perfect posture it's kind of like going back to when you were
like really young
looking at like like jc penny's lingerie catalogs like way more intense yeah
and you wonder why
people that watch fox news are idiots i mean not that a lot of networks aren't
but you know they did
that study that people that watch fox news know less about what's happening in
the world than people
watching no news at all i believe that i love that that makes sense you know
you're gonna find out
about captain kirk's love life so these are two regular gals this is abc look
how abc has regular gals abc is more
probably geared towards women that don't want to be threatened the drunk dude
in the background you
never seen this video no yeah oh my god is he naked no he's just hammered in
his shorts
well christine they are the whole neighborhood knows the boy they jumped out of
a second
story window and fell that's amazing oh my god that's funny that's funny yeah
if you leave the
fucking camera on long enough people catch the craziest ever did you see any of
the like the snow
storm uh driving footage son you got jacked yes yeah i did yeah snow storms all
throughout the uh the
country they've been getting these nutty snow and ice storms yeah uh what is
that man it's it should be
not it's unfair i mean i don't want to say that pretty girls shouldn't be able
to get a job they
certainly should but it shouldn't be exclusively pretty girls telling you about
important
shit we're too weak we're not paying attention to the message no no no and but
that's the thing if
you see an ugly girl on the news you're like that girl knows her all right she
fought her way to the
top there's there's something about um like a like like i said like those fox
news women that like
the one you were talking about before the show started who argued with someone
about santa claus being
white megan kelly apparently said very authoritatively that santa claus is
white yeah she's very
authoritative always a lot of those gals are but there's something like for
beta men especially for
men that are weak and beaten down by life the ultimate fantasy is that this
woman accepts you
the ultimate fantasy is that she's impressed by you and accepts you because she's
so hard ass
she's so obviously beautiful but also so hard ass that there's this there's
this uh you know when
she's around you you want to like mock obamacare you want to start making fun
of it like you'll write
specific jokes just to make her liberals yeah just to get in just to get in
there just to get in just
to be able to talk to her yeah santa's white you're goddamn right he is of
course he's white
show me one picture where santa's black that wasn't drawn by a black guy

"The Women of Fox News" with Lee Camp (form Joe Rogan Experience #429)

the Joe Rogan experience you were on Fox News yeah I was you were there once
upon a time you
made it in there did it smell like sulfur it smelled like souls why are the
girls that work
they're so fucking hot because they know how to hire people apparently that's
that's insane they're
way too hot it's not fair because men will agree with them just to hope that
they will say yeah
and high-five you you'll change your whole philosophy and there's you can find
clips on
YouTube where people just put together every time they like open their legs
during various segments
like praise the Lord they're too hot it's unfair that's like hypnosis you know
some of those what
was that woman's Megan what's her name the really angry one Megan Kelly she's
so fucking hot it's
ridiculous where is she show me some Megan Kelly this is uh oh this is him this
is really cool
play this because this is how I found out about Lee but back it up so I'm sure
you guys are gonna
have a lot more jokes for the rest of the campaign here they just keep going
can I can I just ask a
question sure what what is Fox News it's just a parade of propaganda and it is
just a it's just a festival
of ignorance what only a million people are dead in Iraq come on this is
ridiculous what's the point of
this um this is insane I love uh I love people at home go outside go go hug
your children
love your family you know you get all the news you can at Fox News all right
thanks this is the best
watch this this is the best part we're also talking about Captain Kirk this
morning and hey because it's
Saturday morning we're having some fun Greg you've got the cushiest job in the
world yeah look who just
uh being the board right now the ladies from the Starship Enterprise hello
welcome this is four hot
chicks in an outfit their friend bone Dr. McCoy just wrote a new book on
Captain Kirk and the way he
was able to woo beautiful women like this it's all coming up it's a book about
Captain Kirk getting laid
but come on the fictional character Captain Kirk too by the way yeah not even
William Shaqner yeah no
not a tell-all book I was in the green room with them I could not figure out
why there were these
women there I had no idea how about that you just it was almost like it was
scripted because you said
that and then they showed you was the most inane stupid piece of shit yeah I
didn't even know that
was coming up next oh my god it was perfect you couldn't have been what if they
went to some serious
news and fucked you yeah he wanted to you could see in his face as he read the
teleprompter he was
like all right we're gonna get out of this and go to ah shit indeed fuck it's
like completely proved
your point like right away like come on man how did Kirk get laid he just gave
it they wrote that
he got laid the writers made him get laid he's not a real guy yeah jesus
fucking price this is
aliens there's two wars going on the fucking entire banking system had to be
bailed out by
taxpayers money he was really they just wanted to see what a human cock was
like that's how he got
laid do you think they have like a bunch of shit that they will throw out there
like beach balls to
distract and they get like they get it from the cia every week star trek they
just have to send it do
like this is what we want you to talk about this week like really just to zap
the american mind
what about bob rain since yeah yeah no no no no no no you know i mean i don't
believe that it is
i don't believe i i think i tend to think that it's more incompetence than than
it is conspiracy i think
it's ratings they don't actually care about the news they only care about
ratings they don't care about
the news but i think in general like even the the most of what we think of as
being this big gigantic
conspiracy with our government and the media is more incompetence and whorish
behavior than anything
just they're prostitutes yeah they prostituted themselves out because that's
the way they got
the good assignments they got the good places they got the big ratings i mean
you don't get to that
point you don't get to that job unless you've proved yourself a faithful foot
soldier to whatever their
messages generally you know they're not you're not gonna get hired on there
yeah and even guys that
used to be kind of like rebels like heralda rivera heralda rivera was kind of a
rebel at one point
yeah yeah you know he was the guy that had dick gregory on tv and showed the
zapruder film for the
first time and wasn't he also the guy got a fist fight at a kkk rally i think
on his show someone hit
him in the head with a chair they might not even been trying to hit him it was
just a melee and i think a
chair went flying and he got his nose broken and he was but he was so excited
so excited he had an
actual cut on his face i'm a tough guy like wasn't he was supposed to box frank
stallone or something
crazy like that too was he a long time ago oh my god they might have actually
done it i don't know
i'm pretty sure but he's a wild dude or at least he was a wild dude you know
and now he's just like
fox news puppet it's weird when you see the the ones that actually stick to
their guns they they don't
last long i mean chenk yuger lasted two months at msnbc before he wanted before
he needed to leave
amber lion is another one that left because her bahrain story actually you
mentioned bahrain uh cnn
she brought it back to them and said this is what's going on bahrain but they
were doing ads
talking about how great bahrain was and they wouldn't play her segment yeah
yeah she she's been on the
podcast before and she explained it all to us and it's it's so hard to believe
that what we consider to
be like a shining revered institution of news like cnn is just a propaganda
wing that they that they're
capable of that kind of behavior if she's telling the truth i don't know i wasn't
there i assume she
is she seems very honest i don't know anybody else's side on the other side i i
don't know i don't know
what the fuck's really going on so i probably shouldn't comment on what cnn did
or didn't do but
i know for a fact they're not reporting a lot of that's going on they're not
reporting a lot of
shit and i feel like all these networks the mainstream media it's a very small
box of accepted
thought that is allowed on them it's not it's not they're not going to go
either very far to either
side or or outside that box no it's it's not really the news and that's one of
the more interesting
things about the internet is because the internet now there's all these sources
that are like more
real news like they're telling you about that's going on that you might not
have known
speaking of anal fox news girls why are they so hot those girls are so goddamn
hot like i don't
want to marry them i don't want to have relationships with them but if i was a
single man i would be
very attracted to those angry bitches or the weathermen in la i just think they're
so they're so like
aggressive i don't know they're so strong like they're so stern in their
opinions yeah most of
them are not dumb there's nothing to do with dumb no there's something sexy
about those mean
bitches yeah yeah yeah just because i'm a glutton for punishment but if you um
like when you're on
that show like what what is it like when you're in that studio does it feel
weird do you feel like
well that's the thing it's like all of them just seem like they're doing their
job i mean yeah they
work for the evil empire but they don't they're just like whatever gets them
through the day oh i need
to say this thing and this thing and then we're you know we wrap for the day
like so i had to remind
myself why it was important for me to do that i like reread an article about
how a million people died in
iraq i mean this was this was several years back and uh and you know it because
you don't want to
up the show like yeah i i felt like i needed to do it i only wanted to be on
there once i was like
if they're having me on it's gonna be a one-time thing this is it dude it was
if you were like a
publicity whore and i know you're not but that would be an awesome move i mean
it worked out great i
never thought it was 7 a.m on a saturday i truly thought the only people and
this was four or five
years ago where not everything on the news went online right i truly thought
the only people seeing it
with fox news fans at 7 a.m on a saturday and instead it went up online and
viral and all that
shit if you got something relevant to say the internet will catch it yeah they'll
find it and
they'll put it out there dude go back to that girl like standing that sitting
there with her legs open
this is insane i just want to point something out of how we are so weird like
as a culture that this
is a part of like normal everyday office life like we got to make some
decisions here like okay look at
this woman she's showing everything but her vagina i mean her knee is just
strategically blocking her
labia her legs are wide open and she's hot as now here's the thing if you put
the chiron right in
front of the vagina then everybody would know the news exactly we'd be a very
informed country and women
would get angry at you if you knew the news oh you were looking at her vagina
and you read the news huh
like she like it's just weird that they get to dress like that like she's
completely wearing come
fuck me pumps back that up again let's let's dissect this look at her like her
shoes those are like i
want to go out and get sexy shoes those are not comfortable by any stretch of
the imagination they
show most of your foot your heart almost her entire legs are exposed i mean you
imagine if a guy was
sitting there like that do you know how bizarre that would be if there was a
show where a guy was
sitting there in a tiny tiny kilt and you know that you could bear if he moves
his left knee an inch
to the right you're gonna see his cock for sure and they also have like an
ejection button that slings
them into the stratosphere once they hit 35. they hit an age limit they
disappear oh poor girls that's sad
it's like she has some kind of irritation down there or something well i think
sarah palin brought the
dumb milf back so who knows maybe uh maybe it'll move in that direction but i
don't think she
actually brought it back she brought it back for a little bit but now people
are like god you say
too much crazy gilf gilf you're forgetting the grammar right right right she's
gilf you don't want
to say that though because it'll with your dick it's creepy yeah milf is okay
but gilf not so much
it's just weird that we have these odd standards of of sexual attire in the
workplace and not just in
the workplace but on television like on television promoting this strange
propaganda machine and just
really hot girls with their vaginas hanging out yeah explosions and hot girls
okay i can't pay
attention whatever the she's saying or she's your thighs oh my god see if i see
that girl i go wow i
wish she liked me you know especially if you're lonely and you know you're not
married or anything
is like 12 times her size yeah it's rob ford's fat brother and what other shows
has like cameraman
from the ground that's an upskirt that is an upskirt it's totally an upskirt
they're panning from the
vagina up it's off center just slightly he's trying to show off his too though
you gotta give him credit
he's well you know he's gotta go to war you know you gotta get a respect so he
just he doesn't give a
a look look the only way i'm gonna get this one is if i let her know i don't
give a here's my gut
i'm not trying to cover myself up i'm standing extra straight i'm spreading my
legs wide look at
that package he's going for the don't give a points he's like i might be a fat
but i'll
the out of you you dirty i'm fat because i like to live the good life that's
what he's saying
i like how there's playlists of all the different ones who's that one the one
that you just showed
that's a fox one too the redhead yeah it's great that one the