Name: Joe Rogan Experience #509 - Steve Hilton
Uploaded: 2014-06-03T22:53:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #509 - Steve Hilton' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-06-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #509 - Steve Hilton' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-06-03. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #509 - Steve Hilton

These are just like quick ads that we do. Very informal.
Hey, everybody. This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience is brought...
I fucking said it again.
Said my name. I should say the podcast.
The Experience.
Brought to you by Stamps.com.
What Stamps.com is, is a method that allows you to use U.S. Postal Service,
to print U.S. Postal Service right from your home computer,
right from your office computer, right from your desktop.
Just a regular old computer and a regular old printer.
You can print official U.S. postage for any letter, any package, any class of
mail.
All for a fraction of the cost of an expensive postal meter.
And if you go to Stamps.com, you never have to go to the post office again.
It's so easy.
With this deal that we offer you,
if you click on the old school microphone in the upper right-hand corner of Stamps.com,
you enter in the promo code JRE,
you get a no-risk trial, $110 bonus offer,
which includes a free digital scale,
and up to $55 of free postage.
Then, you take your packages,
you weigh them,
you calculate all the jazz,
print out official U.S. postage,
slap it on the old box,
postman comes,
hand it to him,
and you're diggity-diggity done.
That's it.
You don't have to go to the post office,
you don't have to wait in line,
you don't have to talk to some completely under-motivated and underwhelmed
person
who really doesn't want to be there at all,
much rather beat you over the head with a club
than weigh your stupid fucking packages.
You don't have to do any of that.
All you have to do is go to Stamps.com
and sign up for this offer.
And before you do anything else,
click on the microphone,
at the top of the homepage,
type in JRE,
that's Stamps.com,
and enter in J-R-E.
It's easy,
it's convenient,
and you remove stress and hassle from your life.
If you own a small business
or if you regularly send out packages of varying weights and sizes,
this is the way to go, kid.
Trust me.
Stamps.com,
and remember,
before you do anything else,
click on the microphone at the top of the homepage
and type in J-R-E
for your $110 bonus offer.
We're also brought to you by LegalZoom.
LegalZoom is a fantastic way to deal with,
well, I like Stamps.com.
You can deal with shit from your home
that you would ordinarily have to go somewhere for.
With LegalZoom,
you could deal with so many legal issues
without having to schedule an appointment with a lawyer
on their time,
drive through traffic,
park,
sit down,
pay an exorbitant amount of money
to some person, again,
who doesn't really want to fucking talk to you.
They just want your cash.
You could do all that stuff at home
and do it for a fraction of the cost
and do it quite easily.
You can form an LLC or incorporate
to start your own business.
Very easy to do.
You can apply for a patent
to secure an invention,
register your trademark
to protect your products and services,
and you can do it all drunk and naked.
No one can stop you.
You can take illegal drugs
and do something legal.
Do you know that?
I'm not advising it,
but if you so chose to do it,
it is your right as a person.
As long as you do everything correctly,
and everything's filled out
the way it's supposed to be,
you're good.
And if it's not filled out
the way it's supposed to be,
here's the beauty of LegalZoom.
LegalZoom can connect you
to a third-party independent attorney
if you're in a cold sweat panic
and you think that you've done something illegal.
If you've filled out the forms
and you're like,
this shit is not gonna fly,
you can contact LegalZoom
and they will hook you up
with a third-party attorney.
LegalZoom is not a law firm,
but they do provide you
with legal self-help
through independent attorneys.
See, legal self-help
is the way to do it.
If you can get things done
like filing patents,
like forming LLCs,
forming a will,
you can even get divorced.
Shh!
You can get divorced
through LegalZoom
and they have an A-plus rating
from the Better Business Bureau.
You can't go wrong with that.
A-plus, not A-minus,
not B-plus,
A-plus from the Better Business Bureau.
Over the past 14 years,
they've helped over a million businesses
get started right.
Go to LegalZoom.com
and when you go through
the month of June
and you can get a special price
on trademark, copyright,
or provisional patent applications
by using the referral code
ROGEN at checkout.
Celebrate innovation
with LegalZoom
through the end of June.
Remember, LegalZoom
is not a law firm,
but they do provide you
with legal help
through independent attorneys.
Someone's trying to fucking text me
in the middle of a goddamn podcast.
I guess they don't listen.
Anyway, go to LegalZoom.com,
use the code word ROGEN
at checkout.
Hear that weird noise?
You hear that?
You don't hear that?
I think it's the phone.
I think if I put my phone
near my computer,
they'd fucking argue
with each other telepathically.
That's probably what it is.
That's it.
LegalZoom.com,
use the code word ROGEN.
We're also brought to you
by Ting.
Ting is a mobile service
that does things differently.
They do things
on their own terms.
And what that means
is they buy time
through the Sprint backbone.
They use Sprint,
so you get the exact same service
that you get with Sprint,
but you get it
with no contracts,
no early termination fees,
no nonsense.
They don't trick you.
And there's a lot of ways
that cell phone companies
make money.
And one of the ways
they make money
is they charge you
for X amount per month.
Like, you know,
you have a deal
where you, you know,
you get 1,200 minutes a month
or whatever the hell it is.
But when you do that,
most of the time
you're not using those minutes,
but you're still paying
for those minutes.
The way Ting does it,
it's very smart,
and I think it's a better way,
and I think it's the only way
that they're going to do it
in the future.
What they do is
you pay for what you use.
If you use a lot,
you pay more.
If you use very little,
you pay less.
And 98% of people
would save money using Ting.
That's a pretty
incredible statistic.
If you go to Ting's website,
go to rogan.ting.com,
they'll explain
the whole thing to you.
$21 is the average monthly bill
per device for Ting customers.
That's amazing.
Because you'd be surprised
at how little,
when you look at
these service minutes,
you know, like 100 minutes a month,
200 minutes a month,
most of the time
people are texting
each other these days.
And if you call me a lot, man,
most of the time
I don't pick up the phone.
I don't spend a lot of time
calling people.
$440 is the average
annual savings per device
for a business
with 1 to 20 employees.
So if you have a business,
Ting is the way to go
if you want to set up
business phones.
And you have many options
as far as the phones themselves.
You have all of the best
Android phones
that are available today.
And you buy them.
You don't...
See, the thing about
when you go to
one of the big name
cell phone companies
and you get a phone,
you're not actually
buying the phone.
If you pay $200 for a phone,
you're not really paying
$200 for that phone.
The phone costs
probably $500 or $600
and you think
you're paying $200
but the other $300
to $400,
you're paying off
over the course
of your contract.
That's why
if you try to leave,
they stick it to you
and they make you pay
what you owe them.
So that's what a contract
termination fee is.
What it's all about is
you still owe money
on a device.
You essentially
leased a device.
Ting doesn't handle it
that way at all.
With Ting,
everything that you
purchase,
that they sell
at ting.com,
rogan.ting.com,
are the finest
cell phones available today.
Like the...
Samsung Galaxy S5
which is water-resistant.
Just added.
Water-resistant.
If you're a fucking
dork like me
and you spill shit,
that's the way to go.
They have the HTC One M8,
all the best
new Android phones.
The Samsung Galaxy Note 3
which I use.
Fantastic phone.
You can draw on it.
It has a pen.
How can you go wrong?
And if you're like
one of those old
crazy grandmas,
they have flip phones.
They have everything.
And as cheap as $42.
You can get a phone
for $42
which is kind of ridiculous
in this day and age.
And when you buy it
for $42,
you actually buy it
for $42.
And if you know,
you try it for a while
and you go,
you know what?
I want to cancel.
Just cancel.
That's it.
You don't have to worry
about shit.
It's a beautiful,
ethical way to do business
and the results
have been fantastic.
Massive,
massive public
positive feedback
that I've received
from all the people
that have switched over
to Ting.
Saved money.
Loved the company.
Loved the idea
behind the company
and loved the fact
that they have
a wide selection
of devices.
So go to
rogan.ting.com
today
and save yourself
some cash, kids.
All right.
My friend Steve Hilton
is here.
We're going to talk
about all kinds
of groovy shit.
Let's cue the music.
Joe Rogan podcast.
Check it out.
The Joe Rogan experience.
Join my day.
Joe Rogan podcast
by night.
All day.
Steve Hilton,
my friend.
Politics are dirty business.
Very dirty.
But just before
we get into that,
Joe, I just want to say
you've already
really offended me.
Fantastic.
I just want to show
you my phone.
Oh, what have you got?
Here it is.
Oh, flip phone.
So I am, in your words,
an old crazy grandma.
Well, I have many friends
that carry old flip phones.
I'm glad that you're
actually just carrying a phone.
Exactly.
This is a very new
development for me.
Well, it's a good move.
It's a good move.
Everyone's been telling me
I've got to have a phone.
I had not had a phone
for many years.
Finally, I buckled
under the pressure
and I got one of these.
Yeah.
Steve, we became friends
in Hawaii.
Our family,
we're all friends.
It's a very cool
little development.
I really enjoy it.
But I think it's
quite hilarious
that your wife
is involved in Google
and you avoid phones
at all costs.
You avoid technology.
You feel that
it's too entrenched
in our life
this sort of
digital web
that we've all
been connected to.
Yeah, I'm trying
to fight it, Joe.
It's tough.
You just shut them off,
though.
That's the beautiful thing.
When you don't want
to use them,
you shut them off.
Yeah, but they're there.
They're kind of
nagging away,
annoying it.
That's discipline.
You've got to meditate.
That's probably right.
Well, I feel
that there's benefits
and there's certainly
negatives to phones.
But I think
the positive aspects
outweigh the negative.
I like being able
to communicate
with friends and family
and loved ones
and send texts
and I find it
incredibly addictive,
though.
And I think
it becomes,
I was out at dinner
the other day
with a bunch of friends
and everyone was
on their goddamn phone.
There was five of us.
And I was like
sitting around the table
looking at everybody
texting and tweeting
and taking photos.
I'm like,
we're not even here
right now.
I'm like,
you guys are,
you're connected
to this digital world.
You talk about
how awesome it is
to be here,
but you're not even here.
You're barely
paying attention.
That's right.
And there's new
sort of etiquette
developing about
how to handle this.
I think I was reading
something about
where you've got
eight people
around the table
having dinner
and it's okay
for three of them
to be looking
at their devices.
That's okay.
But if it gets
to more than three,
someone's got to look up
because that's the rule.
Who says,
says who,
establish what?
I don't get it.
It's just,
it's just like
anything else.
I mean,
if you were at a bar
with some friends
and one guy
is just watching TV only
and not engaging
in a conversation,
that's just as rude.
Yeah,
I think that's right.
I find it fascinating
how my children
react to devices.
That's where I really
get a sense of it
because they don't
have a cultural context.
You know,
when my four-year-old
watches television
or watches devices
and I'll stand
in front of her
watching TV
and she just reaches up
and tries to move me,
she doesn't give a fuck
what I'm thinking.
She's just trying
to watch this program.
Yeah,
you literally can't
get in between
at that point.
I've real