Name: Joe Rogan Experience #510 - Tony Hinchcliffe
Uploaded: 2014-06-11T12:47:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #510 - Tony Hinchcliffe' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-06-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #510 - Tony Hinchcliffe' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-06-11. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #510 - Tony Hinchcliffe

hello freak bitches that's right we're back and this episode once again is
brought to you by
squarespace if you have a company if you have a business if you are a business
say if you're an
entertainer or maybe an artist and you have something and you'd like to let the
world know
about it there is no better way to do it than with your own website and for the
longest time
that was a pain in the dick you had to go find someone that you could reliably
count on to make
you a nice website and they put didn't put weird back doors in it where they
could sneak dick pics
and all your photographs or fuck with you and take too much time and cost you
too much money and
when you rely on people it's great when it works out it's awesome when you when
you find someone
like oh i found this guy he makes great websites and he's my friend yay it's
awesome it's fun but
when it's a pain in the ass and when it's not going well you go god i wish i
could do this myself well
you can now today with squarespace any moron like myself could create a website
a real professional
looking website brian is making a website right now and he's he's done 30 of
them 40 of them while
we've been doing squarespace ads every week while we do a commercial brian puts
together a website
it's that fucking easy hey i just made a t-shirt for tony you they even have a
t-shirt builder where
you can sit in there they have a logo builder you can design your own custom
logos very easily all
this is drag and drop type interface so it's all like the same thing you would
do if you were
like if you can add pictures to an email you can figure out how to do this it's
not hard to do
and you can make an outstanding professional website with 24 7 support if you
fucking in your middle
my website sucks i can't figure this out you can get a hold of squarespace and
they'll hook you up
squarespace simple and easy design they have platforms that work or works
rather on every platform it'll
work on ipad it'll work on android it'll work on windows it'll work on unix squarespace
can design help
you design your own website where you can like have an immediate professional
website with a store
easy to put together an online store easy to sell digital downloads say if the
golden pony tony
hinchcliffe decides to start pop music and i think you could i think you could
be one of those djs like
at a rave like pumping your fist oh yeah like dead mouse style that could be
you in another life anyway
squarespace.com and use the code word joe go to squarespace.com use the code
word joe get a free
trial and 10 off your first purchase so go to squarespace.com and enter in the
code joe squarespace
a better web starts with your website that's hilarious isn't it a better web
starts how about
saying nothing it's better than a better web starts with your own website
because you can't do that this
is the internet right this is in fucking nabisco a better web starts with your
website that's amazing
because that's already better than my actual website and i just watched you
make it in 10 seconds and
it's better than my t-shirt that's incredible the ones that we judged we had a
squarespace contest
like end of the year contest they developed some killer fucking website i still
visit that uh there's a
storm website that uh i don't remember the url but this guy like took all these
crazy photographs of
nutty cloud formations and storms coming oh it's awesome and it looks like he
paid a fucking fortune to
make this website did it all himself or herself i don't know if it's guy or gal
uh anyway go to
squarespace.com and use the code word joe for a free trial and 10 off your
first purchase squarespace
also lets you try it out before you enter in your credit card information you
can sign up start
building your own website and go you know what this shit is dope this shit is
fly and then you can
enter your credit card and when you do that use the code word joe and save 10
off
we're also brought to you by ting ting is a cell phone company that does things
in a way that i think
is the future ting is a website where you can go there first of all if you if
you look at like the
the big cell phone providers whether it's a sprint or whether it's a verizon or
at&t one of the things
that bothers people is early termination fees like getting getting hooked into
a contract the reason
why you do that and it's very convenient for you know for most of us because
what they're doing is
instead of paying the full amount for a cell phone usually like it says it's 299
but 699 if you want to
buy it on its own yeah that's that's the different thing that 299 when you buy
it with like a two-year
contract if you break that contract you have to pay that money what you're
doing is sort of deferring
that money over a long period of time and if you want to get out you can't get
out you're like shit
um ting has it so you can get out anytime you want you buy the phone you own
the phone they sell the
best android phones you can buy including the samsung galaxy note 3 which i
have it's an awesome phone
so it's really cool you can write on it it's got a little stylus and shit the
images are gigantic
for going on the web it's fucking unparalleled there's nothing like it like an
iphone is great for
usability and you can bring your iphones also um from sprint and they can port
them to ting and they
sell the iphone 5 for 260 bucks you can actually buy it for 260 bucks and then
it's yours you own
that shit yeah son no contract yeah and the way ting uses it too 98 percent of
people would save money
using ting that's their claim not mine because i'm no statistician it's
statistician it's my my note
three is about one eighth of my cell phone price for my iphone yeah it's pretty
cheap i think i pay
on average about 20 bucks a month it's uh 21 a month is the average monthly
monthly bill so you have an
average bill i'm below average like normal
440 bucks is the average annual savings per device for a business with 11 to 20
employees it's pretty sweet
um and i said like i said all the best uh android cell phones no termination
fees go to rogan.ting.com
and you can save 25 bucks off your first device ting uses the sprint back at
backbone so it's not like
it's some wonky ass cell phone network they use one of the best cell phone
networks in the world and the
sprint backbone is you get the exact same service and coverage that you would
if you had sprint but you're
using a ting device and you can quit any time you want and it's all set up on
their terms an ethical
company providing you with an awesome service and everyone that i've talked to
about it they've all
loved it chris ryan uses it brian uses it you know it's a sweet easy way to
save money nowadays you're
always on a wi-fi network because you're usually always at home or you're
always at work and stuff like
that so you a lot of people are on these plans now that don't make any sense
because no one's
really making phone calls anymore you remember when minutes were a big thing no
one's everyone's
texting now and you're if you're texting and you're connected to your wi-fi a
lot of these phones will
just like oh you're just using this wi-fi's network you're not even using ting's
network so i think it's
important to still talk to people on the phone do you i really do i think we're
getting a little weird
we're getting a little weird where you go days in and you don't talk to a
single human just text all your
your friends i mean maybe there's some benefit to that sometimes when you want
to decompress but i
think for the most part we should probably talk to each other every now and
again it is interesting
it's like we're going backwards i'm waiting for us to flip it and just go
carrier pigeon or raven
like in game of thrones that's going to be the most that's going to be the
coolest guy in the
neighborhood the guy that gets has the first raven that's trained to drop stuff
off somewhere
it's going to be how hard is it to train a fucking raven they don't want to
listen to you at all
they could go anywhere they can do anything they can fly and they're fucking
smart and it's not like
there's no food right you know they can find food they don't need to listen
your bullshit for an animal
so smart to travel long distances you think they'd be smart enough to realize
they don't have to take
that shit you know they could just go do whatever they want you know it's a
really fucked up feeling
or a thought rather what if that's how ravens involved involved their
intelligence because ravens are so
smart they do all these multi-step process tests where a raven has to get a
stick and use the stick
to get a bigger stick and use that bigger stick to get an even larger stick
because they're all down
these long tubes so the raven keeps figuring out that as he gets longer sticks
he can reach and scoop
the the stick that's longer than that and pull it out and then drop it and then
use that one to get
a piece of meat and they do it lose like seven or eight steps and you watch it
and you go that is
freaking me the fuck out that thing is smart as shit yeah they're probably so
smart that they figured
out how to not have to be the male guy anymore are ravens and crows the same um
that's a very good
question i think not yeah but it seems like they should be right are ravens and
crows is a shame i think
they're both blackbirds but uh that's just so we're just being racist no it's a
good question
oh birds are all the same are ravens and crows the same so differences between
crows and ravens
there was a crow fight in my backyard a couple weeks ago and a crow was injured
and it landed
in my backyard and couldn't get out couldn't fly anymore so i just wanted to go
out you know take my
dog out to go to the bathroom and the second i would come out all the crows in
the neighborhood
would just start going crazy like swooping down like trying to protect the the
injured one
they're smart as shit yeah yeah yeah it's weird like we think of them as just
birds but they're
like a little gang they're a gang of little flying monkeys um this is the the
explanation a raven is
a bigger version of a crow although they are the same species a raven is common
name given to the
largest species of birds in the genus corvus corvids are commonly referred to
as crows and other
species in the same genus did you say genus or genus i guess you say genus
right that's why i only
read though i never say like genus yeah it doesn't really come up if you use
genus in a conversation
you're a douche totally unless you're a biologist and you're using genus you're
like what are you doing
right you stop it you just cut your fucking fanciness well they're from the genus
um corvids okay so that's what it is and uh they're the same uh genus as jackdaws
and rooks i don't know
what any of those birds are there you go so now you know go to wikipedia.org
and uh look up ravens and that's it ting rogan.ting.com awesome cell phone
company
i love them save 25 bucks boom shall lock lock boom oh um ian edwards has a new
cd that's out right
now and it's on the team coco label team coco meaning of course the great conan
o'brien has his own
record label i guess and he's um putting out this is the first one yeah and ian
edwards our friend
fucking 100 awesome he calls uh his his cd's called 100 half-assed and it's ian
sitting on
the end of his bed doing stand-up because that's where he'd like to be able to
do stand-up and he's
just a super funny dude and one of the nicest guys i know and i've known ian
forever and he's just cool
as shit so uh support support um and he's really funny man really funny i
guarantee you enjoy the
shit out of it so go to records.teamcoco.com and you can see uh ian edwards 100
half-assed
this weekend i will be with the great tony hinchcliffe and uh the great brian
cowan we're going to be
in um we we're in lloydminster on thursday and then we are in vancouver on friday
vancouver is the
orpheum theater i'm not sure what's i think one 