Name: "Micro Houses" with Joey Diaz (from Joe Rogan Experience #210)
Uploaded: 2014-06-13T18:08:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"Micro Houses" with Joey Diaz (from Joe Rogan Experience #210)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-06-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"Micro Houses" with Joey Diaz (from Joe Rogan Experience #210)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-06-13. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan experience.
Why wouldn't we assume that the reason why we're so conflicted and weird is
because that's the proper mechanism
that needs to be in place for people to move forward in the direction that we're
moving forward.
They'd be constantly chasing technology without any real clear, sort of a
rational approach to using our resources
and looking at the problems that we have.
Because we're like a bunch of little kids that have like shit all over their
house,
but instead we're outside working on the garden.
You know, we're planting trees, but we're not cleaning up the shit that we piled
up in the middle of the living room.
And it keeps piling up every day to the point where we can't even live in our
house anymore.
We're concentrating on some shit that's not even ours.
Do you think you could ever, you probably couldn't, but maybe say like if you
didn't have kids and big families,
do you think you could ever live in like one of those AeroStream trailers?
Fuck yeah.
By myself?
Fuck yeah.
Because I recently went to, you know, Joshua Tree in one of those, and I was
thinking like, really, this is all I really need.
And I could take my whole fucking house anywhere I want, and the new ones have
like nice wood floors.
Yeah, and some of them expand out, you know.
There's been, you know, a lot of people that are moving towards minimalist
houses, really small houses.
Like there's a bunch of them online that show like how certain people live.
It's kind of interesting, you know.
Like one guy figured out a way to have like this little tiny cooking area, and
he pulls the bed out, and the bed comes out of the wall.
He lives by himself, and he has like some storage up on top, like toilet paper
and things along those lines.
But it's a tiny, tiny little house, and a little kitchen dinette area.
And you know, the idea is that like, really, why do we have to have this giant
fucking footprint of house that we live in?
Because you're getting paid, bitch.
If I want to live in a fucking cell, I'll live in a fucking cell like a monkey.
I'm going to live in a fold-up bed like I'm James Bond, like some fucking
Puerto Rican that gets a check on the 5th.
Go fuck your mother.
If you're getting paid, you live in a fucking house.
I'm going to live in a micro fucking house with a little kitchen to cook like I
got a black guy banging me in the fucking ass.
I don't need that.
You spread out.
Even me, I'm no millionaire.
I got a big fucking kitchen, a micro house.
What are you fucking people talking about?
I just snapped out of it, dog.
You can't take me into those deep waters like that.
The Eureka fucking killed the brother right now.
A fucking house with a bed upside down?
Fuck that shit to save energy.
Fuck you.
You get paid, you fucking live like a normal person.
Go to Trump and say, hey, wig, move into a fucking thing to save energy.
See if you don't bitch slap you.
If you don't have a Russian bitch slapping you in the fucking mouth.
You're fired.
The fuck are these people's micro houses in the fucking desert?
You play it out till the world ends like a doctor.
Like a doctor, you live your fucking life.
You're right.
Doomsday.
I'm going to put a can of tomato soup under my stairs to wait for the Martians
to come.
When it's over, it's over.
You go out there with your dick out and you take your fucking chances like a
man.
I'm going to live like I fucking owe $20 to a bookmaker downstairs in my house.
Get the fuck out of my face.
I want to live in one of those, the Airstream ones.
Brian's down, Joey's not.
I think we have a real clear line of sand here, people.
It doesn't even feel like you're in one when you're in there.
It's pretty legit.
Until somebody farts and you're in four fucking feast of air and you're like, I
paid $10,000
so I can smell your asshole.
Get the fuck out of here.
Because everything's great in a small space until somebody blows a fucking fart.
You ever walk into a bathroom after somebody else's shit?
It fucking bothers you.
Even if they're your mother, you look at them like, you dirty fucking bitch.
Light a candle.
Something.
You don't want to live nothing small.
Fuck that shit, bro.
I'm never home, though.
You know, like I work so much, I'm never home.
You're always fucking home.
I'm home to sleep.