Name: Joe Rogan Experience #529 - Abby Martin
Uploaded: 2014-08-03T02:57:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #529 - Abby Martin' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-08-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #529 - Abby Martin' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-08-03. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #529 - Abby Martin

hello ladies and gentlemen and and people that prefer to be genderless if you're
one of those
this is a new era we have to be super sensitive to everybody that's what queer
is right you're
like i'm this i'm that i'm it um this episode is brought to you by ting ting is
uh i have a new
ting phone by the way i just got it this is the official cell phone of this
podcast and i got the
samsung galaxy s5 which has a heart rate monitor built in young jamie right
there you put your
finger it tells you shit about yourself like you're fat or you're not fat or
you're fucking
awesome or you're gonna die and uh tracks also it's like a there's a fit
program that comes with it
it's dope i am officially a phone whore though my third phone this year that
makes me a phone whore
seeing how it's only only august but i love me technology i love it um what
ting is
is a mobile service that uses the sprint backbone and what they do is they use
sprint but you don't
go by sprints rules go by ting's rules and ting's rules are incredibly
beneficial to you uh 98 of
people would save money with ting and they have no contracts no early termination
fees no nothing no
bullshit and you also don't pay a flat rate per month which i like because most
of the time you don't
use all your minutes and it's kind of ridiculous you know you pay for 120
minutes you use 90 what
happens to those other 30 minutes nothing they're gone they're in the ether
next month new cycle 120
minutes again ting doesn't do it that way with ting you pay for what you use
and i think it's the
smartest way to do it they have incredibly high rates ratings rather if you
look online as far as like
people that use ting how much they love them they're like they're they're
applauded left and right and
it's because the ethics of the company it's extremely intelligent group of
people that put together this
plan they said you know what we can you can still make a lot of money without
fucking people over
and that's what they decided to do uh 21 is the average monthly bill per device
for 10 customers
it's pretty sweet um and they have all of the latest and greatest android
phones like this one that i have
right here which is the uh samsung galaxy s5 which is it's pretty dope it's
beautiful big five inch
screen it's awesome for going online and shit but they have all the android
phones and when you buy them
from ting you own it it's yours that's it um if you're a cheapskate and you don't
like spending a lot
of money you can get an iphone 4 for just 95 bucks um if you want to get the
top of the line you can get
an iphone 5 for only 250 bucks and when you pay that 250 bucks you actually own
it see when you buy a phone from
most companies and say if you buy a phone the phone says 299 it's not really 299
what it is is probably like 600
bucks but you pay off the other 300 bucks over time so if you try to cancel
they hit you with this fee
so what the fee is is every month they just tack on a little of the price of
the phone to your bill
um it's kind of stupid it's in my idea in my eyes it's kind of ridiculous you
don't need to do it that
way and if you do it through ting you just buy the phone you own it cancel when
you want and then be
done with it uh and if you go to rogan.ting.com you can save 25 bucks off of
any of these beautiful
devices uh it's an ethical company an awesome company they have a great service
the sprint backbone is a
fantastic network and you know it's not like you're using a mom and pop cell
phone company you're using
one of the major providers you're using the same service that you get with
sprint but with ting's
rules i love it and again it is the official cell phone of this podcast and got
one right in front
of me rogan.ting.com and that is the only commercial today how about them
apples bitches abby martin's
the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day
so
mrs rogan sends me this video she goes uh have you seen this like what do you
think about gaza what's
going on with gaza what is your take on this and she sends me a video of you
and i said that's my
friend abby martin who took this very controversial stance and um it's this is
a tricky situation isn't
it like gaza's first of all it's sad and depressing and disgusting but it's
also very tricky because
there's all this weird biases that that are going on left and right you know
there's the united states
has this weird bias where they're criticizing israel and then israel's like hey
fuckheads
didn't you guys bomb the shit out of iraq didn't you bomb the shit out of afghanistan
you guys are
talking about innocent civilians being killed like what about you and then
there's also people on the
palestinian side that think it's just fucking horrendous what israel's doing
and then there's
people on the israeli side that think hamas just signed the peace treaty and
stopped training
suicide bombers you know there's in my opinion when i look at it and i i'm
obviously not qualified to
be some sort of a political analyst but when i look at it uh i try to look at
it objectively the
whole thing looks like just a disaster like a huge humanitarian disaster i
think it's one of the
largest humanitarian issues in the world today and i think that we're going to
look back in 50 years and
um really just criticize how abominable the entire situation is and the fact
that the world the world
isn't turning a blind eye the u.s is turning a blind eye um you know you say
that i took a controversial
position but really it isn't controversial in my mind because i'm looking at
this oppressed population
that's imprisoned when i grew up joe i didn't even know first of all what palestine
was and then finally
when i learned about the israeli-palestinian conflict even though it's really
one-sided um i
started to learn about what gaza actually is and i think a lot of people don't
even understand when
they hear the word gaza what they're talking about it's really what we're
talking about as an open air
prison 45 mile strip of land completely closed off egypt's closed their borders
cc's just
fucking sucking the dick of netanyahu totally working together netanyahu shut
off um the idf is
closed off all the other borders it's totally under siege there's 1.8 million
people living in that
close quarters it's one of those densely populated places on earth so whenever
you have this bombing
campaign people are going to die in mass and when they say that they're using
human shields that's
complete fucking bullshit i haven't seen one shred of evidence to prove that
they're using human shields
in fact if you look back at the last 60 years of u.s military conflicts they've
used that term to
demonize populations whenever they want to make it seem like this population
doesn't value human life
you're telling me palestinians don't value their child's life if they're going
to throw their kids
out and guard missiles all i've seen is cartoons from from netanyahu these infographics
that show people
standing on a house with missiles underneath total fucking bullshit this place
has been under siege for years yes
they may have said that they pulled their troops out in 2007 it's under siege
they the israeli health
officials said that they're they try to put them on a diet so they only allow
basic staples in they
claim because they don't want the palestinians to be making weapons pasta paper
chocolate anesthetics
wheelchairs this is the that people can't get inside gaza they're keeping them
gluten free
it's been shown to reduce hostility um the there was a documentary once on
suicide bombings
and uh they had this palestinian school and they had this sign over the school
that said today's
children are tomorrow's holy martyrs and they had this child that was strapped
up with uh c4 and they
had this picture of this kid that had died in a suicide bombing and uh they
were praising him like
he was some sort of a uh you know a saint you know because he he died executing
this uh well just like
we praise soldiers who go and drop white phosphorus from plane you know what's
what's more manly like
when you're when you're driven to zero when you have nothing left that's when
people blow themselves
up it's not because it's a culture of martyrdom it's because they have nothing
and they don't have
the industrial warfare capabilities to drop depleted uranium right yeah i'm i'm
certainly not taking
a side right but what i'm saying is that it's uh it's an incredibly complicated
situation like uh i don't
know what would israel do to to like alleviate tensions at this point once like
how many thousands of people
have died so far in this over 1500 at this point yeah jesus christ 30 children
yeah i've seen photos
anthony bourdain tweeted some awful photo of these children on the beach that
had been bombed and
one kid was dead another kid was being carried away most likely dead it looked
like by all the blood and
everything it was just it's it's so depressing it's so awful and if you if you
could objectively stop
the whole scene and say or what is a way to fix this what is a way to uh
alleviate this this horrible
conflict what is it is there a way well i think up until now people have been
saying the two state
solutions the possibility you had the palestinian authority working with the israeli
government hamas
has negotiated before it's not that they're like ignoring israel um and of
course there's a lot of
problems with hamas and i'm not going to sit here and apologize for them they're
really i don't i don't
agree with anything that they want to see happen but i understand why palestinians
have um aligned
themselves with this group because the palestinian authority failed so much and
they capitulated so
much to israel so they basically turned to the more militant faction of the
leadership saying
fucking do something at least you guys are resisting because to them it's an
occupation and under the
un charter it's an occupation as well a lot of people say the one state
solution is the only possibility
which is end the apartheid state give palestinians equal rights because right
now there's different
laws if you're arab that's what israel is it's a jewish state and they've
driven out people who are
not jewish and they're ethnically cleansing them it's a fucking disaster man it's
really scary and i don't
actually blame israelis because you're growing up in israel first of all they
think that they're the
chosen people because the bible says so which is disturbing in itself but
second of all if you're
growing up in israel and you do hear the sirens all the time and you think you're
being told that
these people are terrorists and they want to kill you right um so i mean i don't
blame it and and but
but honestly israel has much more fair media coverage they have herets they
have 972 mag here in america
we're treated like children we aren't told the context of the situation
whatsoever all we're told is hamas
terrorists keep firing at israel and israel has the right to self-defense well
in all fairness this is a
topic that's really too complicated for the news in quotes you're not going to
get in a fox seven
minute soundbite in between commercials this is something that's incredibly
complex and really
should be like a three or four hour documentary just to scratch the surface and
i don't know if
i mean i i guess if you call yourself the news there's a responsibility at
least an implied
responsibility to educate when it comes to a situation like this but to try to
cover it on fox news or on
cnn and to try to like give an understanding to the people viewing it seems
almost impossible but they
also just only do pro-israel bias like that's why i did that video why doesn't
the media care about dead
palestinians because up until there was like hundreds of palestinians that had
died already and the news
was still making it seem like like literally every single headline was just
like three israeli soldiers
died 400 others and you're like who are others pales