Name: "Pro Wrestling" with Tony Hinchcliffe (from Joe Rogan Experience #545)
Uploaded: 2014-09-06T20:20:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"Pro Wrestling" with Tony Hinchcliffe (from Joe Rogan Experience #545)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-09-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"Pro Wrestling" with Tony Hinchcliffe (from Joe Rogan Experience #545)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-09-06. Transcript available.

"Pro Wrestling" with Tony Hinchcliffe (from Joe Rogan Experience #545)

Hello, freak bitches
I've been watching some pro wrestling. I bet you have
He totally predicted what was gonna happen with his John Cena Brock Lesnar. Oh,
yeah, you knew the the thing
About it Brock Lesnar you played it out long in advance perfectly. You knew
exactly how it was gonna go down and
You're saying that it sets up something in the future. Oh, yeah, they offered
me a full-time writing job
I can talk about it now cuz I'm not getting it. I'm not doing it, but
A couple months ago, they offered me a full-time job to move to Stamford,
Connecticut
Yeah, after one meeting a meeting like this that was about an hour and a half
at the end
They go how would you feel about moving to Stamford, Connecticut for a one-year?
Job with the WWE writing on the creative side and I go I'm gonna have to think
about that and
It didn't pan out because I didn't want to move to Stamford, Connecticut and
working nine-to-five
Even though it's really good money and everything, but you would have to go to
you drive
To LA or drive to New York, right? I still do spot. Yeah, which turns out it's
just a 45 minute drive
But I'm bad, but the job is very grueling the WWE thing. It's not it's not like
a TV comedy writing job
It's like a I'd have to answer to Vince McMahon Lee with Tony
What would you do get stoned before writing this idea? Do you think that's what
he would say?
Probably what would you say to him? Well, if you want yeah, yeah, I'd say yeah,
and I was still when I wrote all the great ideas that you like, sir
Well, you have a point you think Vince would try to get you on steroids
He'd probably get me try to get me to eat beef
Every chance he gets he brought in Bryson. This is from my ranch
Shot this myself this morning
Yeah, well, it was a good money like serious money super serious money. Wow
Insanely serious money you came close. I was happy to get the offer
I took it as a victory and I love what I do. I love what I'm doing and it might
be crap
I'll never regret it. You know what I mean? I don't know. I think you regret it
right now
I'm looking in your eyes. No, no, it's kind of a dream job for you
Yeah, sort of but then again what I do is sort of a dream job too and giving up
this dream job for that dream job would be crazy
But you wouldn't have to give up this dream job, right? I'm telling you it's a
grueling creepy job
Unfortunately trust me if it was if if the word on the streets is man writing
for the wwe is the coolest you can do anything
I would have taken it and I would have lived in New York and it would have been
amazing
I would have traveled to Stanford 45 minutes every morning on a subway instead
of living in Stanford
Yeah, it would have been amazing and I would have had any I could have it's it
was stupid the amount of money
Yeah, you don't want to live in Stanford. You know what the problem with
Connecticut is. It's not really a state
I mean it is a state but let's be honest ladies and gentlemen you live on a
highway between Boston and New York
Absolutely, it's like they put some houses on the side of the highway and they
call it a town
But that's what's really going on. There's not nothing's being done there.
Nothing's be made there
What do you got you got the Glenn Beck show in the WWE? That's your entire
state economy. Yeah, of course is some other things
I'm just fucking around don't get a junk don't get all fucking right all
Stanford II on me don't get like all attached and proud of Connecticut
Connecticut pride. We got a fucking email Joe Connecticut pride
Connecticut sucks. You know it sucks and I know it sucks. There's some great
houses there some nice neighborhoods crazy neighborhood
I have my friend Tommy jr. One of my best friends lives in Connecticut. He
tells me it sucks. I trust him
It's not a good spot when I used to drive there from Boston to New York. I
would always think like why is why people stop in here?
Yeah
WWE
But a lot of people like, you know, David Letterman lived in Connecticut and
drove into the city to do a show
That's how he did it. Yeah, but he's like reclusive, you know
Hmm. He likes being he needs to be away from everybody
He's weird like that and you're not
You missed her outgoing
Uh in that city partying it up at night. Yeah doing a little blow in the
morning to pep you up right before class for sure
You know me show up on the campus
Give Vince the paperwork that you wrote on the plane over there. Yeah
Tony
This storyline makes zero sense. What kind of storylines were you planning? Did
you I know you did I know you thought about it
Absolutely. Absolutely. I wrote a I wrote a great storyline where you know
Brock Lesnar and
In the in this past WrestleMania he beat the undertaker and he the undertakers
had a streak at WrestleMania
He never loses at WrestleMania. He was 21 and zero all time at WrestleMania 21
years
He had never lost in this match against Brock Lesnar
It's sort of it was sort of set up so everybody just assumed the undertaker
would win and then in a stunning move
Brock towards the end of it ends up beating the undertaker for the three count
you want to see something funny look that up reaction
Shots of the audience. No, don't do that. Okay, but this audience was stunned
to people. Just like know what else on that audience a fucking simple card
trick
Oh, come on. What are you talking about?
Listen code
Dude, you're fucking being silly shit
Okay, it's all planned out. It's obvious. It's not obvious
It's definitely not if it's planned out. Why would it be obvious gonna happen?
I know what's gonna happen. I know what's gonna happen
That's me, Joe. That's not the area
That's not the arenas. Not everybody in the arena was offered a full-time one-year
writing job with the they don't know what's gonna
So you're an expert and pro wrestling essentially I've watched my whole it was
sort of like my replacement for not having a dad
When I was a kid like I would just sit there and watch these these storylines
and these guys
Do all this crazy stuff and I'm sad. Well, I'm sad now
It was my dad replaced totally bummed me out
Superfly snooker was your dad pretty much superfly was one of the biggest
things
I mean that's what I was doing off of couches and my tighty-whities when I was
a tiny little boy Bob Backlund
I remember Bob Backlund them the creator of the cross-faced chicken wing
Which is a great move man much fucking time you invest in this you should get
paid by this
I should seriously consider it seriously consider taking that job
No, I would say no to anybody else, but you you like that shit so much
You've always got those fucking books right like you read books on the business
of pro wrestling
We're on a fucking plane and I look over
There's people reading his self-help books some folks are reading novels
Tony H is gonna fucking book with the sex and politics lies and headlocks the
unauthorized bio of Vince McMahon
What the fuck are you doing reading awesomeness about a guy who?
Took a joke of a show and turned it into a billion-dollar enterprise and
Wrote it all himself and is the main you should read a book on pro wrestling
dude. You should write a book a love affair
Pro wrestling a love affair from Tony Hinchcliff. I was listening to um to
The open Anthony show which is no longer the opie and Anthony show now. It's a
Opie with Jimmy Norton. I don't know why don't they just call it the opie and
Jimmy show, but whatever
They had this guy on and he's an author. He's he wrote that a card movie with
Kevin Spacey
He's written a bunch of a bunch of different
Books his name is Ben
Mazurich
Mazurich and he was talking about Russian oligarchs and about what happened
what went down in Russia during like the fall of the Soviet Union where
seven
to nine people
Soaked up 50% of the economy of Russia
Yeah, seven seven or nine somewhere in that number like no more than ten people
Literally had 50% of the Russian economy, and they were just killing each other
They would like kill each other and take over their businesses
I give you had a competitor if like you were coke you would send your army over
to kill Pepsi and then you would just own Pepsi, too
Wow, it's it was the total complete
Wow, wow West and I don't know if he's written a book on this or he's gonna
write a book on this
But fucking a man listen to that shit was cute. I bet he has written a book on
I should find out what the book is
Ben
Miz rich
Ben measure it's interesting. I wonder what the direction of the economy and
the trends and everything were before that
Exclusive group of people took that over because it's you know
It seems like we're sort of in a way heading that direction with our stuff
The top whatever percent has such a crazy amount of money compared to the rest
of everybody
Yeah, well, it's close, you know, we're pretty bad, but apparently it's nothing
like Russia like the these Russian oligarchs
they just
Dominated they just figured out a way to completely dominate the entire economy
of a giant country
I mean is that listening to him talk about it was fascinating
The show is different now that Anthony's not there
But Jimmy Norton is so fucking interesting hysterical and you know an opie's
doing a great job of the two. It's still a great show
This guy Ben measure which was fascinating
Fuck Russia man, it's crazy. They were talking about Putin
But what a gangster Putin had to be to to come back and lead the country after
he left
Like he led the country took off like they they impose some sort of a term
limit came back like no term limit in book
He's back again. Like he's this is a second time running the country
Like he installed some sort of a puppet dictator or a puppet leader when he was
gone and then came back and he's a former KGB agent
Like what the fuck man, you know, there's a guy that a professional wrestler
named Rusev that actually puts Putin on the done the Megatron on the Titan Tron
Every time he comes out and really gets the crowd riled up. Oh mother Russia
I promise I will defeat my victim for you and it gets the whole crowd to hate
him and then I and then a guy comes out and
He Rusev usually wins they let the Russian guy win because it drives the crowd
crazy and then you think anything can happen after that
My favorite thing is to watch you respond to me talk about rest. What's wrong
with you?
You would love it wrong with you. I wouldn't love it. You'd be amazed. I'll bet
you though
I bet you if I showed you a statistic of
UFC fans being WWE fans, I bet you'd be shocked because before the UFC was all
over everything
one of the only outlets that and by the way, I've been with the UFC since the
beginning, you know what I mean?
Like I mean like watching it since the hoist days since hoist and shamrock and
all that and
that's because it's
Even though it's two totally different things UFC is obviously an extremely,
you know
crazy sport and
WWE is completely entertainment with you know some injuries from time to time
You know the it was an outlet for anybody that wanted some crazy stuff
WWE and UFC fans, I bet there's a lot I I would bet you that
I'm just gonna wait till you're done talking. This is my this is my closing
statement. Here it is
I'll bet you that at least 70% of UFC fans have been or are
WWE fan at some point 70%
I love when people throw a statistic around where they have done zero research
just a random number
I believe 70 I do it all the time by the way. Yeah, I
70%
90% a fan. No, I did they look it's not the goddamn same one of them is real
one of them
I didn't people that are battling for their life in the most difficult contest
Absolutely another one is some weird fucking jerk off thing
That that strange guys do when they sit in front of the TV and pretend they don't
know it's fake, right?
It's entertainment. No, I know it's fake. Everybody knows it's fake
You don't want to know you shut that part of your brain off when you watch it
You're like like a lizard. I went to a meeting to take a full-time writers job.
I know it's fake
No, no, no, n