Name: Joe Rogan Experience #547 - Joe DeRosa
Uploaded: 2014-09-10T23:37:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #547 - Joe DeRosa' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-09-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #547 - Joe DeRosa' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-09-10. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #547 - Joe DeRosa

Hey everybody. How you doing? This is my new radio voice. I'm doing a late
night shift.
I'm going to stick with you as you ride down the road to your destination. We're
going
to keep you tucked in here on the JRE. What number is this? What episode is
this?
What is it? Number 547. Jody Rose is here, ladies and gentlemen. This episode
is brought
to you by Stamps.com. That's my real voice. Stamps.com is a way that you can
run a business,
send shit from your home or from your office just using your home computer. You
don't have
to go to the post office, get things weighed out anymore. You can print
official U.S. postage
directly from your home computer. It is a marvel of convenience, ladies and
gentlemen, and this
is what Brian Redband uses to ship everything out. If you order a t-shirt or a
hat or any
of those cool new things, if you go to shopsquad.tv, it has a bunch of new shit
in. All of that stuff
is handled by Stamps.com. Our friends Bert Kreischer, he sends his shit through
Stamps.com. Tom
Segura and Christina Prozitzki, they send their merchandise through Stamps.com.
Stamps.com is
an awesome way to get 24-hour access to the post office right from your
computer. No waiting
in line, no hassles. Print it up on your home computer, right there on your
printer, and then
boom, give that shit to the mailman and you're done, kid. Stamps.com makes
mailing and shipping
very easy with any computer, any printer, very simple to do. Hand it to your
mail carrier,
and you're diggity, diggity, done. Stamps.com will send you a digital scale
automatically that
automatically calculates the exact postage you need for any class of mail. You'll
never need
to go to the post office again. Go right now to Stamps.com and use the promo
code JRE for
this special offer. It's a no-risk trial, $110 bonus offer which includes a
digital scale and
up to $55 of free postage. So do not wait. Go to Stamps.com. And before you do
anything
else, go and click on that microphone in the upper right-hand corner. Who's
doing that
thing with your mouth? Is that you, Joe DeRosa? I don't know. Was I doing that?
You're doing
some weird shit, man. I don't know. I'm sorry. No worries. Sorry. Stamps.com.
Use the code
word JRE and again, get your $110 bonus offer. Can't recommend Stamps.com
enough. Literally
you've never heard one bad thing about them. They're fucking fantastic. Use the
code word
JRE and save yourself some money. We're also brought to you by Blue Apron. Blue
Apron
is a fantastic new product or service, I should say, that sends you all the
ingredients and
the recipes with photographs, detailed photographs, step-by-step instructions
for you to create your
own meals. Excellent, healthy, 5 to 700 calories per serving. But if you eat it,
you would think
it would be a lot more than that because they're really good stuff. They have a
whole bunch of
really groovy recipes for all sorts of different things and they send you new
stuff every week. Like
this week, I've got chicken breast gumbo with chicken sausage and okra, pan-seared
scallops with
sauteed sun golds. I don't even know what a sun gold is, but it sounds often.
Awesome. I don't know what
this is either. Purslane, P-U-R-S-L-A-N-E. Purslane over farro. Farro is a type
of pasta, right?
Beef patty melt, Mexican-style turkey burger, cod with pickled grapes and
summer succotash.
This is awesome stuff and easy to do. I cook a lot, but I don't really follow
recipes. I mostly cook
meat like a fucking caveman. But I've been using Blue Apron and even making
complex things is not
difficult. I made these awesome ground beef stuffed peppers. They were
fantastic. It was really
good and it's fun. It's exciting to do. It excites me. Haha. That's right. I
said Blue Apron excites me.
And here's how it works. For $9.99 a meal, they'll send you the right
ingredients in the exact right
proportions with simple recipe instructions right to your door. Blue Apron
includes step-by-step
instructions with pictures. So it's idiot-proof. It's super easy to do. They
work around your schedule and
your dietary preferences. Cooking takes about a half an hour and shipping is
always free. They never send
you the same meal twice. Short rib burgers on pretzel buns, Kung Pao chicken
tacos. Yummy shit,
folks. You'll cook incredible meals and be blown away by the quality and the
freshness. I have zero
complaints. They've been excellent so far. Blue Apron.com forward slash Rogan.
Go there and get your first
two meals for free. That's Blue Apron.com forward slash Rogan. And then last
but not least, what do we
have last but not least? Dollar Shave Club? Dollar Shave. Oh, that's right,
sweet bitches. Dollar Shave
Club is back. If you are a member of Dollar Shave Club, you know what the fuck
is up. You got to
remember to buy razors, folks. That shit's annoying. The last thing you want to
do is be going through your
what's that like, the cabinet where you keep all your pills. Your medicine
cabinet. Looking for a razor
that doesn't exist. You're like, you motherfucker, I forgot to buy razors. And
especially if you have
one of those dickhead bosses. Brian Redman, what's with all the stubble? You
present an unprofessional
appearance. You have to use your girl's razor with all her hair in it and cold
water. You don't want to
go to the store for anything more. The more shit you can get delivered to you,
the better your life
will be. Trust me, I'm a fucking firm believer in getting shit done online. You
know, you got to
find that locked plastic fortress when you go to the fucking pharmacy where
they keep all the
all the razors. They don't want you cutting your throat right there in front of
them. I can't take
fucking buying razors anymore. There's only one guy with the key. He's always
taking a shit. You got to find
them. With this, with dollarshaveclub.com, dollarshaveclub.com, you can, for a
few bucks a
month, cut all that shit out of your life. It's a much smarter way than going
to the store. Their
plans start at just $3 a month. Signing up takes just two minutes. Then sit
back and blades arrive
like clockwork. The razors are better than the big shave companies for a
fraction of the price.
You can shave with a fresh blade every week. No membership fees, no commitments,
and they have a
money-back guarantee. You have nothing to lose by trying them out. So stop
fucking around and go to
dollarshaveclub.com slash rogan. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash rogan. And
last but not least, we're
brought to you by onnit.com. It's O-N-N-I-T. We have new cups that came in, the
Conquer Cups.
They're inspirational cups. This one is the Miyamoto Musashi Cup. It said,
today is a victory over
yourself of yesterday. Tomorrow is a victory over lesser foes. Fuck yeah. Badass
samurai quotes.
That's what I'm talking about, bitch. All right, Joe DeRose is here. Why fuck
around? Onnit.com.
O-N-N-I-T. That's it. Use the code word Rogan. Save money. Hi. All right. Save
10% off any
null supplements with the code word Rogan as Brian tries to start the music.
Joe Rogan, check it out.
Start the music. Do, do, do, do, do. Start the music. Do you know how to do it?
Yeah, it's not
working for some reason, so. Maybe because you weren't ready? No, it was. There
we go.
The Joe Rogan experience. I like that chick. I messed her up.
Whoa.
Wow. That's the worst one ever. Congratulations. I didn't think you could fuck
it up any more
than that. I mean, it started off bad. The middle was bad. There was fucking
two of them playing
at the same time, and it ended abruptly. Everything was wrong. Congratulations.
If you did that
in a movie, if you planned out the worst intro music for a podcast in a movie,
you'd fucking...
It sounded like you just took a random part out of, like, a Primus. It sounded
like a snippet
from a Primus song, where it would have made sense in the whole picture, but
just the clip,
you were like, it doesn't make sense. Yeah, well, it's a kind of funny story
that wound up getting
resolved, but Jamie called me the other day to tell me that one of my videos
got taken down
from the internet because someone used my words, like my voice, in a song, and
then copywrote
it. Really?
Yeah. They copywrote my voice. So when my voice, the original version of that,
was online, they
put a copyright hit against me for my own voice.
Jesus Christ. That is unbelievable.
It was so hilarious. I mean, it got resolved, like, when I started tweeting
about it, like,
what the fuck, man? Like, this... I don't know the details. I don't know what
the dude
was thinking, how he thought he could copyright my own voice in his song.
What was the song?
I don't know. I didn't even listen to the song. I heard the beginning of it
where it sounds,
you know, you... There's a video that this guy did called American... What is
it called?
The American War Machine? American War Machine. Paradigm Shift on YouTube.
Really cool guy.
I met him in Vancouver. Very nice guy. Very talented guy, too. Did this video.
It's really
cool. It's combining a bunch of rants with all this video of war stuff and
stuff about U.S. history
and how crazy the military industrial complex is. And the beginning of it is
this rant that this
guy took and put on his song. Then he copywrote it. Like, he didn't even change
the fucking music
that my friend Tosh had put on the thing. He didn't even change it. He just
took that chunk,
put it in his song, and then said, this is mine. It's like the shittiest
version of buying a domain
name to resell it. I own your domain name. Like Pepsi Spice? Brian owned pepsispice.com.
Do you
remember when Pepsi Spice came out? It was one of his best pranks ever. I swear
to God, I thought it
was one of the Spice Girls when you said that. I didn't... No. What the fuck is
Pepsi Spice? Pepsi Spice was
this horrendous idea. It's like someone decided to like, let's make Pepsi, but
spicy. Like a spicy
Pepsi. So... It was a Thanksgiving Pepsi. It's for Thanksgiving. So like, yeah.
Is that still up? Is it up
anywhere? Can you see all that stuff that you did? There's pieces of it. God
damn, dude. You gotta put
that up in a blog. I know. You should put it up in a blog and we'll... I think
we shot it with a hard...
With a gun. Oh, did we when we blew up the hard drives? So you...
So this is what he did. I'll tell you the whole story. Okay. He took pepsispice.com.
He bought
the domain name because this is in like, what was it? Like 2000? Oh, it was a
long time. 10 years
ago or something like that. It might have been earlier. It might have been
before Fearful. I don't
think you were working for me, man. No, I was. It was right when I moved here.
Okay. Yeah. Okay. So this
is what he did. He bought pepsispice.com before they did and then he started
putting up a daily
blog about how he's eating nothing but pepsispice and his health was rapidly
deteriorating in
like these hysterical cataclysmic ways. It was so funny, man. We were going to
it every
day and the pepsispice people were fucking shit in their pants. Like, what is
this? And
it was before anyone understood the internet. No high level executives in Pepsi
or any of those
major corporations or very few of them understood the internet. Right. If they
did, they would
have bought pepsispice.com way before they released it. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But they
didn't. So he puts this fucking blog up about him shitting blood and he's down
to 120 pounds
down. It's open. Yes. What were the things that you said? Do you remember? I
remember I had
open sores everywhere and I was really good at Photoshop back then. So no one
even knew that
there was fake Photoshop as much, you know? So I had like pictures of me with
these big bloody
things. I was hanging out with Lindsay Lohan snorting mushrooms. Like it was
called
Mocaine where we would like crush up mushrooms and snort. I love it. So, so
ridiculous. Would
you, would you write the blog? Like, like if you were like, like the way a
stranded island
diary would read like day 36. Yeah, I did. It was jus