Name: Joe Rogan Experience #600 - Ari Shaffir
Uploaded: 2015-01-14T10:24:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #600 - Ari Shaffir' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-01-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #600 - Ari Shaffir' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-01-14. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #600 - Ari Shaffir

I'm ready, Jimmy.
Uh, this, it says do mushrooms on it and you can get this at aurethegreat.com.
Uh-huh.
That's, that's my tour this year.
It's the do mushrooms tour.
It's a good tour.
It's a good name.
It's a good message.
It's a, it's a, it's a good thing you're doing.
You're doing the Lord's work.
Yeah.
I'm trying to get the word out for the Lord's product.
You're doing the Lord's work.
If there's anyone who's ever been doing the Lord's work, it's the man who
invented Shroom
Fest.
How many people, by the way, worldwide participate in Shroom Fest every year?
I heard it was over a billion.
Uh, is that true, Mr. Shafir?
It's, that's the last stats I saw were over a billion.
Over a billion.
What's really, we're doing fairly well in that regard.
God, it's like how many billions are there?
Definitely.
That's not most of them, but we're getting there.
The 7 billion people.
Yeah.
And out of the 7 billion people on earth, 1 billion every year participate in
Shroom Fest.
You know, this year it's August 29th, 30th and 31st.
Is it really?
Yeah.
So you give it three days?
Yeah.
Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
And is it to do, what's ideally for the average Shroomer?
How many, how many trips do they do in those three days?
Oh, one.
Just one.
Yeah, find a time to do it.
Yeah.
Oh, just one?
Yeah.
Only one?
Yeah.
You don't like to do like multiple on a weekend?
I have done that.
This last Shroom Fest, we just kept taking them.
Yeah.
Just three days, just in the cabin, just fucking going.
Do you ever worry about like being that dude from Pink Floyd that never comes
back?
No, I stopped worrying about that.
You stopped worrying.
There's only like barely any guys I've ever seen like that.
Barely any?
Yeah.
I don't know if it's from that or just mild schizophrenia.
There's always that, right?
Yeah.
Well, the real problem is like, what if you have mental illness plus psychedelics?
If you, if you're just a totally normal person, you have normal balance levels
of whatever
hormones in your head, but then you take psychedelics.
That's the only thing.
If you're prone to, prone to that, to schizophrenia, that's the only time I'd
be like, then don't.
If you have it in your family, maybe don't.
Yeah, I would say if reality is at all slippery, just hold off on that.
If you barely hold on, it's like, I'm real.
Get yourself a good foundation.
But then there's the other problem is if you take a lot of the drugs that
people take, like
even antidepressants, you're not supposed to ever take mushrooms when you're
taking those.
Nope, not true.
There's different kinds of antidepressants.
Really?
Ask your doctor.
I asked mine.
Ah, ask your doctor.
I asked mine.
Yeah.
With Ari Shaffir.
Doctors are here for you.
Just telling what you're doing.
And then they'll help you medically through that.
Okay, so.
So I asked him about, hey, I heard this thing about.
Well, MOAI inhibitors.
Uh-huh.
And SSRI inhibitors.
Mm-hmm.
So I'm like, I heard mushrooms counteract badly with those.
And he goes, and I don't know which one's which, but he goes, no, that's that
one.
You're taking this type of antidepressant medication.
Oh, okay.
So it wouldn't interfere at all.
Okay.
So you really should ask your doctor and find out whether or not it's an issue.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So with you, it was zero issue at all.
Yeah, he goes, no, not a thing.
Oh, that's great.
It's like, sometimes they tell you not to take antibiotics and you have to say
why.
Right.
And they go, because if it's, that the antibiotics won't work anymore, then I
won't drink.
But if it's just that it's going to make drinking awesome, then I'm going to
drink.
Well, I've heard people that are talking about taking MAOR, MAOIs, monoamine
oxidase inhibitors, and taking those with anything like anything dimethyltryptamine-based,
whether it's ayahuasca or DMT or anything along those lines.
And it becomes like really potent.
Oh.
To the point where it's dangerously potent.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I think chemical MAOR, I'm saying it fucked up, MAOIs, monoamine oxidase
inhibitors.
I didn't know that.
The pharmaceutical versions of it are extremely strong.
They're really strong.
And you're not supposed to take anything DMT-based with them.
Because that's the whole, the whole basis of ayahuasca is a natural MAOI inhibitor,
which is called harmine, mixed in with the leaves that have the DMT.
That's why you can take it in through drinking it.
Sometimes those things that flood your brains with, like, it's almost like the
inhibitor shut off.
So it floods your brains.
You get super happy, like ecstasy or some things like that.
And then that all drops out.
And then you're like, oh, I need those stuff because your body sort of stops
producing it after a while.
Dopamine depletion and shit like that.
Yeah.
I mean, Tim Ferriss has this statement or this saying, which is a really good
saying, is that there are no biological free lunches.
You know, and that everything has a price.
Like, you drink coffee, then you crash.
You know, you take speed, then you come down.
You know, you drink alcohol, you feel great, then you're hungover.
It's like, in order to achieve these hyper-natural states, there's some sort of
consequence physically.
It's vacuum.
Vacuums can't exist, right?
Yeah.
There's like, there's a pull and a push.
And there's like, there's something going on every time you do something that
fucks with your consciousness.
It's just the idea is finding, like, what does the least amount of damage and
the most amount of benefit.
Yeah, it's fun.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Like, I'm going to get fucked up.
What's it going to be on?
Yeah.
Should I go meth or should I pull it back?
Well, there's a lot of people that are like, I am not going through this
fucking thing sober.
Oh, no.
Why would you?
Not doing it.
Not interested.
Live with all that at all times.
Not doing it.
Thank you, sir.
You have met my mother and father-in-law?
No, thank you.
I will be fucked up for this.
This is not a ride that you should take seriously.
This is a ride.
You should be sober only when necessary.
Only when, like, are you doing surgery?
Yeah, you should be sober.
Are you going to Disneyland?
Why are you sober?
Why sober for this?
What's wrong with you?
Are you going to somehow or another make a terrible decision when you're on the
teapot?
I went, yeah.
What are you doing?
You're spinning around the teacups, those things that you spin around.
So they don't serve alcohol at Disneyland, huh?
Well, they have alcohol at California Adventure.
Oh, and they have the outside place with all the bars.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, which is, like, downtown Disney.
They have alcohol there.
Like, regular restaurants.
It's not, like, Mormon alcohol where it's, like, 2% beer.
Technically alcohol.
It's real alcohol.
They have real alcohol.
But inside Disneyland, there's apparently only one place where you can get
alcohol, and it's
this place that's above Pirates of the Caribbean, and you have to pay, like,
some insane amount
of, like, yearly money.
To be able to go there?
Yeah, you have to spend a shitload of money.
It costs, like, 25 grand to join it or something.
What?
To be a member?
Yeah, what is that?
It's more than that.
What is that shit called?
Club 33 or something like that?
Yeah, something along those lines.
It's, like, CEOs of companies.
Yeah.
Didn't Dice have Club 43 in his basement or something?
And he wouldn't tell anybody why he called it that?
Maybe that's what it is.
Did he?
Maybe I finally figured it out.
Hmm.
I don't remember.
You gotta know what it is.
It's 18 more.
Oh!
Like your big, fat fucking ass.
Oh!
Dude, you know what I was talking about?
Somebody, your Diaz impression is one of the best around.
And I forgot about it.
We used to have Diaz off.
Like, the Brea Improv.
These fucking SoCal Mexican comics thought they had great Diaz.
And you're like, let's do it.
Let's do it.
At the end of your headliner set.
Do you remember that?
Yes.
But that guy beat me.
He beat me.
His Diaz was better.
Yeah.
His mannerisms were awesome.
Silent Bob.
Silent Bob.
Yeah, he got me.
He got me.
My voice might have been a little bit better.
A little bit more exact.
He also did the hand thing where it was, like, this weird, like...
Well, he was also, yeah.
He was just in the groove.
He nailed it.
He nailed it.
The hand thing.
The Coke hand.
The Coke hand.
When he was bringing people up to the open mic, he goes, next up.
And he's just, like, doing that open shut, open shut.
This is weird.
He's like, next up what?
Well, he's also just having fun.
Oh, this guy.
Yeah.
That's the Joey Diaz mannerisms.
He had the mannerisms down.
I had a voice.
My voice was probably a little bit better than his.
But he overwhelmed me with his mannerisms.
He swore.
He took the title.
What am I going to say?
Yeah.
I forgot who won.
I really forgot who won.
Yeah.
He beat me.
I gave it to him.
I said he won.
I mean, I gave it up.
I said, that's better.
His is better.
Yeah.
You know what stuff he says, though, that sounds like stuff he would say.
I guess that guy did, too.
Well, so, yeah, maybe.
It's just he.
You can beat him on.
What's he?
Whatever.
He deserves to win.
I forgot about that.
He's the, Joey's the greatest guy that's ever walked the face of the planet.
Are these 3D glasses kind of tripping you out a little?
A little.
You have a lot behind you, Joe, so it's.
A little.
Yeah, the lava lamp is fucking weird.
Yeah.
Lava lamp.
The reason why we're wearing these shirts, Ari Shaffir has these 3D t-shirts.
Why we're wearing these shirts.
Why we're wearing these goggles.
These glasses.
These fucking ridiculous paper glasses we're wearing.
Ari has these new t-shirts.
And if you wear these glasses, these t-shirts look three-dimensional.
It's weird that no one's ever figured out a way to make 3D work without glasses.
Oh, yeah.
They have.
But you go to the movies, you always have glasses.
Yeah, just make the fucking screen.
A 3D movie for all time.
3D movie screen.
Yeah, but even those 3D screens, you have to wear glasses.
Yeah, no, bullshit.
Shouldn't have to.
Like the Nintendo.
I'm saying, we live in a horrible world where our lives are worth in Ethiopia.
The Nintendo 3DS is an example of a small screen that you don't need glasses.
And they do have small monitors that, you know.
How good is it?
Have you used it?
It's getting there.
Is it better than the Game Boy graphics?
It's just Game Boy by 3D.
Okay, like when you go to see like top-level 3D, like Avatar.
Avatar was the best.
Who do I see that with?
At the fucking, that one place in the valley.
Like that opening scene where the dude is floating around.
Where they're all in that 3D floating around space.
Remember when they're coming out of their pods?
Yeah.
And he's floating.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, whoa.
It was like the greatest 3D of all time.
Yeah, you're like, wow.
And the islands, the floating islands.
We're like, what the fuck?
The floating islands.
I forgot about that.
You can't do that without glasses, right?
Not to that point yet.
Not to that point.
I mean, it's still kind of small screens and not as good.
Last I checked.
Isn't it interesting that somebody even figured out how to do that?
How to do it?
Yeah, separate the red and the blue.
Fuck.
Yeah.
You figured out how to make people look like they're floating in front of you.
Give this extra dimensional aspect.
I remember the olden days when they had those spaceship movie 3Ds.
Like when I was like a young teen, like 14, 12, something like that.
And the ships would come over you and you'd be like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
You'd have to lean back to avoid it.
I want that 3D.
None of that bullshit they give you now.
Avatar is great.
Everything else is garbage.
Could you imagine if life was 3D?
It is.
That's what it is.
What are you talking about?
It's not 3D like that.
No, not like that.
It's not 3D like that.
That's 3D in this really weird, freaky way where like you see a car accident a
mile away
and all of a sudden it's in your face.
Yeah.
It's like, oh.
A couple of good 3D movies.
That