Name: Joe Rogan Experience #602 - Ari Shaffir & Duncan Trussell
Uploaded: 2015-01-21T03:25:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #602 - Ari Shaffir & Duncan Trussell' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-01-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #602 - Ari Shaffir & Duncan Trussell' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-01-21. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #602 - Ari Shaffir & Duncan Trussell

I need a new theme song.
It's time?
Yeah.
600 episodes, I think it's...
Yeah, but you haven't had that for the first 100.
Yeah, whatever that is.
That's still 500.
500, yeah.
I mean, it's great.
I love it.
I used to like the...
Tell Nick Diaz that if he doesn't win, then you've got to get a new theme song.
I will never take his voice off the theme song.
We'll do a new theme song and we'll incorporate his voice.
That was one of the coolest moments of my life.
Are you kidding me?
Nick Diaz wins.
He's got his hands up in the air.
He's like, training by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
I was like, that's the coolest thing that's ever happened to me.
Next to the birth of my children.
It's right up there.
Wow.
So, we're all here because we're friends and this is an intervention, Duncan.
I know you thought this was a podcast.
I can't stop masturbating.
You're gonna.
You're gonna have to.
I'm not gonna stop, man.
You're gonna stop.
Because, Ari, tell them about the demons.
Tell them what happens.
Yeah.
I don't know if we know this.
When Jews know that when people masturbate, they're actually fucking a demon
that's on top
of you.
Yeah.
That you can't even see.
When you come, it comes into her belly and you have demon babies.
The only way to get the Jews out of my body is to jerk off Jews.
Oh, yeah.
Wait a minute.
The only way to get the Jews out of your body is to jerk off.
The demons out of my body.
Oh, you have to.
Any time, like, sometimes I get possessed by demons and they swell up in my
chest and they
cause my penis to expand and to change shape.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, I know.
When the demon gets inside of you and makes you.
Inside your penis?
Yeah.
And your penis changes shape.
It changes shape.
It's very strange.
I've seen that.
It comes like this tape off marshmallow guy.
Yeah.
So you get demons too.
Yeah.
So when these things come, the only thing that gets the demon out is if I jerk
off a Semitic
man.
And then when I do that, I see the demon come out of my penis in the form of
this white salty
substance.
And then it goes back to normal?
Your penis?
No, it stays like.
Crazy.
Crazy.
It stays aggressive.
Yeah.
It's always screaming, howling at night.
So we're here.
So we're here.
This is not happening.
The new show on Comedy Central.
Ari Shafir, officially a baller, just had his new Comedy Central hour special.
Yeah.
Paid regular.
That was the coolest shit, man.
The comedy store was tweeting photos of the, and Red Band tweeted some too, of
the patio.
The filled patio.
The one out there.
Everybody out there watching your special on TV while you were performing in
the OR.
That was the craziest picture.
Jeff Scott showed me a picture of you on stage live at the store.
And on stage.
And my special was from that same stage.
And you know what's even cooler if people come to see you now?
I think your new material now is some of the best shit you've ever done.
It's right up there with the best bits you've ever done.
The new shit that you're doing now, the stuff you did in Vegas, it's fucking
great, man.
It's really funny shit.
I got like eight of it.
What'd you say?
You got eight minutes?
You got about eight minutes of that.
That's all right, dude.
Just keep swinging, you know?
I'm like at about 40 right now.
But it's 40 that I don't know it that well.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, now it's still ever-evolving.
Like we used to say Jarvis, his friend Jarvis, my friend too, Jarvis, he used
to say that bits were like cooling metal or cooling honey.
So it was like real fluid.
And then as it gets cooler, it takes like more and more shape until it becomes
like the same thing every time.
That's cool.
Yeah, remember that?
I don't remember him saying that.
You told me when you were a talent coordinator, you told me that.
That's an interesting way to look at it.
I've always felt that they grow, though.
I've always felt that they're a living thing and they become sturdy.
Like they start off as like little saplings and they're like, oh.
Sometimes they look impressive and sometimes they come out, they're fucking
trees.
There's certain bits that I've done that were already a tree before they ever
got to the stage.
Like the vegan bit that was just on my last special.
I wrote that bit all after one conversation.
Did you name that bit Jamie Kilstein?
Too Jamie Kilstein of love.
Jamie Kilstein, believe it or not, even though he talks a lot about being a
vegan, he's not preachy about it.
And he also admits that he ate a lot of meat.
He's a bad example of that.
Jamie Kilstein gets a bad rap.
And part of it is because the conversation that he and I had on the show.
What was that again?
What was that conversation?
I don't remember that.
If he's out there listening, Jamie Kilstein, I think you're a good dude.
I really do.
I think he's a genuinely, like what he's trying to do, he genuinely thinks he's
doing like really good things.
And he's just, it was about the Daniel Tosh rape thing.
You know, Daniel Tosh made that joke where he asked the audience what they
wanted to talk about.
Some guy yells out rape and Daniel Tosh starts saying like, yeah, what a great
subject.
Like what's so funny about rape?
Is it the humiliation?
Is it the violence?
Some woman says, actually nothing is funny about rape.
And he goes, wouldn't it be funny if five guys just raped her right now?
And it became this big, I mean, well, first of all, that's the kind of shit
that happens at a goddamn comedy club.
Yeah.
You know, we all know that.
And the guy's just trying to be funny while he's on his toes on a stage in the
spur of the moment.
Yeah, to me it's like a non-issue.
Yeah, so Jamie and I disagreed with it heavily because he felt like it's lazy
and he felt like it contributed to rape culture.
Which is a term that, like, gets bandied about.
It's a weird term.
You know, some people think it's a horseshit term.
You know, there is no rape culture.
It's a real thing.
That's why if you see the Indian comics from India and stuff, they're super
rape jokey.
And it comes out in their consistent gang rapes.
No, that's all.
That's pretty much like all their comics.
Just talk about rape and gang rape.
And then it really bleeds into the culture.
He's fucking with no Indian comics.
What about Russell Peters?
Who are you talking about?
What about Aziz Ansari?
He's fucking from Houston.
Dude, they're Indians.
How dare you?
They're brown as fuck.
How dare you?
I think there are Indian comics.
There must be, for sure.
I don't know.
Do they have a scene?
You think there must be?
It must.
There's got to be Indian comics.
movie industry there.
Oh, yeah.
Their movie industry is bigger than our movie industry.
Super porny, right?
Isn't there always long sex scenes in those?
If you consider juggling fruit and singing in between a gunfighting scene, porny.
They do such crazy stuff.
Because all their movies still have musical numbers.
Where they will start in the middle of a real action movie.
When I went to India, we would take Valium and go to this movie theater in New
Delhi and
just watch their movies because they're so trippy.
But yeah, in the middle of an action movie, it'll stop into a musical number.
Wow.
Like a real serious action movie.
Why?
It's just their culture.
They like it.
They like it.
They like that style of theater.
That's just what it's supposed to be.
Well, I mean, we used to like it.
If you go back and try to watch those old movies.
Oklahoma.
Well, all those like Gene Kelly movies, they would start dancing in the street.
Oh, yeah.
Everybody would stand there and people would dance around them.
They had music videos that broke out in the middle of a movie.
So they have all these plots.
That's a great way to put it.
Yeah, they have all these plots.
They have real language.
They have real dialogue.
They have a real storyline.
It's so weird, though.
Would you see it?
Like, why is there singing?
There wouldn't be singing.
Why are they singing?
Why are they talking in Ron?
What are you talking about?
Well, it's someone's desire, the one person's desire in the middle of a
gigantic performance
where people are interacting with each other.
It's one person's desire to totally steal the spotlight.
And the best way to do that is by singing.
And everybody has to stand around and listen while John, like, we're all like
support.
We're in the back and John's in the center.
He's singing.
We're snapping.
Yeah, and he's got this great point.
And we're all like, wow, yeah.
And he's singing about life.
And everyone's letting him move around.
John's singing about life.
Nobody stops and goes, what are you fucking doing, man?
Like, why are you saying?
Like, nobody interacts with them.
There's no interacting.
There's just this one guy, which is what the theater to some folks is all about.
That moment on stage holding the skull.
Look upon thee!
That reminds me, man.
I got a million dollar idea.
What's that?
Found footage musical.
Like, you know those found footage movies, but they find one where, like,
people are actually singing.
Like a real musical.
Yeah.
No music is playing.
They just start singing.
Yeah, like, what the fuck are they doing?
And everybody stands around.
That would be great.
Really bad songs.
But like this choppy video.
Like, oh, he's not really getting it.
It's totally happening right now.
I got another, I got a great idea to do with it.
A fucking, an improvised musical reality show.
Oh.
It's all improvised musicals.
But they gotta do it in song and dance.
That's a great idea.
You gotta bring them into a situation.
Big brother in song.
That's hilarious.
And the audience doesn't know.
So they have to, people are gonna interact with them.
Reality.
So they have to sing out to this, like, restaurant or bar.
Have you ever seen the video?
There's a video with this, bringing you back to activists that sometimes miss
the point.
There was a video of this lady.
She steps into a chicken restaurant and she starts talking about, this is not
food.
This is violence.
Yeah.
You know, and there's a little girl.
And, you know, she starts saying, and she just wants to live.
She just wants to be happy.
And she just wants to live.
And this little girl was gonna die, just like all of her sisters and all of her
brothers
and her family.
A turkey?
A chicken?
A chicken.
Ah.
And she rescued this, this chicken.
And so she does, like, videos of the same gal with her chicken at home.
You know, it's like, so she goes into a restaurant, disrupts all these people,
and, like, tells
this whole story and then explains that it's her, you know, her chicken.
And then a whole crew of assholes come in behind her with signs.
This is not food.
It's violence.
I mean, it's so weird.
And they're like, we're just running a restaurant.
Dude, it seems like a parody.
It seems like someone is just badass.
Some Tim and Eric type dude.
Really?
Just put together some badass parody that's so subtle, you're like, not sure.
Right.
Like, is this bitch really this crazy that she's referring to this chicken as
her girl?
Yeah, it seems sometimes that, like, activists aren't aware of the fact that if
their stunt isn't
pulled off in the right way, it seems like it could be more detrimental.
Yeah, it comes off super lame.
Of course.
You know, like, people will, the response is going to be to eat more chicken.
Yeah.
Yeah, just because you're like, I don't want to be associated with this kind of
behavior.
And if that means eating chicken, then I guess I'll eat more chicken.
So it's like, it's dangerous to be an activist if you are not really subtle or
if you aren't skillful in what you're doing.
Like, being an activist is awesome.
Just make sure that you're graceful when you do it.
Well, not only that, you have to have a real objective sense of what actions
you're putting
out there and how those actions are going to be perceived.
And if you fake it, people can see through it and it seems lame.
Well, there's some people that have this idea that their idea, what they're
protesting against
is m