Name: Joe Rogan Experience #614 - Christopher Ryan, PhD
Uploaded: 2015-02-19T04:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #614 - Christopher Ryan, PhD' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-02-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #614 - Christopher Ryan, PhD' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-02-19. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #614 - Christopher Ryan, PhD

back from the rain-soaked jungle of the pacific northwest where hippies
flourish
chris ryan dude they're out there man they are it's like they're like monkeys
in the jungle
they're like bugs in the forest yeah flowers in the garden yeah oh that too you
could look at it in a
positive way yeah yeah it's just it's a good place for them it's an interesting
place you're going to
be there soon this weekend you're on your way yeah i'm very excited i love portland
i i fuck with them
about being hippie infested but yeah better that than fucking psychos you know
that's true that's
true it's an interesting place that it's got such a strong culture for such a
small city yeah you
know what i mean there are huge cities three times that size where like you don't
even know you're
there right based on how people dress food you know attitude whatever portland
is so specific and sort
of microcultural yeah yeah i was talking to a friend who grew up there the
other day and i asked him
what's the biggest change from 20 years ago and it was interesting he said uh
not eccentricity it was
really eccentric then it's the same now you know that sort of became the
calling card of portland he
said the big difference is there was no smugness 20 years ago oh now people are
smug there yeah
because i think people who sort of choose that identity then go to portland you
know what i mean
like hippies who are actually kind of nazis yeah there's a lot of those right
yeah like really
judgmental hippies like super ultra left-wing people who are really just mean
and they just
find a target and the target is a right wing right so they go after them with
or whomever or they often
go after each other you know it's like and so there's like a fascist mentality
that just happens
to have chosen a hippie you know outfit off the rack exactly i had an ex-girlfriend
who was really
into fashion and i remember one time her saying we lived in san francisco for a
while and i remember
her saying yeah i want to i want to go for a hippie look you know and i'm gonna
like buy the the fringe
and i just remember thinking like that is so antithetical to what a hippie is
you know
like to go buy expensive hippie outfit isn't that perfect though that it's america
it's like it's
like spraying body odor deodorant so you'll smell like a dirty hippie you know
well i saw this
commercial or not a commercial like a website rather online that sells used
jeans right they sell
jeans that people wore and they have like i mean they have like stains on them
some of them have
patches and they were 270 dollars yeah for a used pair of jeans good gig though
be a jean wearer
yeah or a good gig to be selling these jeans you can probably buy from goodwill
for you know really
cheap yeah and i forget the name of the company but their their hook is they're
trying to make you
look like you know you've worn these man i don't care about what i look like
man yeah you're buying
270 dollar used clothes yeah like you're instead of wearing them and turning
them into that you're
immediately trying to like adopt that persona right i'm a comfortable pair of
jeans yeah look at me with
my like when you see like fake rips those fake rips they're crazy like what are
you doing you're buying
torn clothes yeah and you think it gives you a look i'm down home i'm you know
the knees are just all
worn out in these pants man i'm waiting for you know it works with clothes i'm
waiting for it to work
with the body you know because i just turned 53 recently and i'm like when is
old and fat going to
be in because it's about time when genetic engineering kicks in and everybody
looks like dr manhattan
yeah then like old ugly fat will be wow yeah interesting it's new yeah yeah it's
something
different man it's like like a lot of white guys who are into asian women will
go to asian countries
like china for instance because there's no white men there or not as many
rather and so they become
an oddity it's like i've experienced that i remember that i can remember the
first night i can
remember the minute i experienced that thinking like what you know first
everyone's looking at me okay i'm a
foreigner whatever is weird but these women are smiling and flirting and what
that what's going on
and and you know eventually someone explained to me like dude you're white they
love and i've always
the one thing about my body that i i would complain about is my skin i've never
liked my skin
like all i've got as much melanin as anyone else but it's all in my teeth so i've
got yellow teeth and
super pale skin you know um do you get burnt really easy oh completely what is
your 10 minutes
irish irish yeah very white yeah and i'm a redhead which is like you know one
tweak away from albino
right you know are you redhead are you like your hair has gone gray and now do
you prefer the gray or
the red well you got that kind of good thing going on you got a blondish right
sort of accent well
that's it when you mix red with gray you get blonde right but no when i was a
you know until i was in
my 30s or 40s probably um you know i had sort of orange red hair whoa yeah it
was dark orange it was
like copper wire kind of color um so it wasn't bozo that's very close but
people are prejudiced
against that in men yeah women it's sexy yeah it's geeky how does that happen
well maybe because of the
the novelty and also there's a there's a reputation among redheads for being
sort of temperamental and
everybody knows a temperamental woman's a lot of fun in bed right hmm maybe
that's it and temperamental
men are just dangerous drunks exactly assholes irish assholes that's funny i
mean raquel welsh was a
redhead although she was mexican so i'm not sure how that happened everything i've
seen from raquel welsh
i it was so old i can't remember or was black and white black and white yeah
she was a redhead like a
dark red i think she dyed it yeah but just like auburn reddish kind of what do
you think dye was like
back then what would they just grind up some leaves and fucking rub them in
their hair well they probably had
um what's that stuff they use in pakistan uh uh henna oh you know henna's goes
way back
yeah that's that stuff is strong as shit too right people get those fake henna
tattoos they last for
days yeah can't even scrub them off the dudes in pakistan henna dye their beards
which is interesting
that's nice look oh that's funny so like when they're when they start going
gray that's their version of
just for men yeah exactly that's funny man yeah yeah every no one wants to be
gray that's the one thing like universally people like oh that's a fucking
tricky one man
you think so i'm not happy about my gray hairs i just grew in a little chin
beard here and it's
completely white and i had one five six years ago when i was traveling and it
was still red
so i don't know what happened between then and now i got old man oh so you
weren't
shaving you were shaving it completely yeah so it's like a snapshot there was
no gradual process
i still have mostly like say maybe like 80 black in my beard but like the sides
of my hair like where
if i had any this is all going white now yeah all this is gray on the sides so
you think the gray is
more traumatic than the balding because i've gone through both both of them are
rough um the gray is
probably less traumatic because i know dudes who are totally gray who dye their
hair and they look
fine or they look fine with the gray yeah it's a distinguished gentleman kind
of thing i know both
yeah it just well it just represents reality represents the finite nature of
the body and
you're going through a process you know but also like i was talking about how i'm
hoping that
like old and fat comes in now that i'm almost there or or there depend arguably
uh you your your
sort of balding experience happened at a really good time historically i got
lucky sort of but i fought
it for the longest time i had hair transplants yeah propecia and i put rogaine
in there and
which is very ironic when your name is rogan you're going bald and you're
buying rogaine
perfect sponsorship especially when you had to go to the counter like now you
can just buy it
but you used to have to go up to the fucking pharmacist used to have a
prescription for that
shit yeah i've bought a lot of rogaine in my day because my ex-father-in-law in
spain had me bring
it back from the states every time i came to visit he couldn't get it over
there i think it was like
he thought it was stronger or better in some way so it was like the only thing
that kept my
relationship with him partly civil i so wish that i shaved my head way way way
back in the day when
i first started worrying about it yeah it would have been way better because i
love being bald like
i really i don't if i could grow hair back now i would still shave it right it's
the easiest thing
in the world i don't have to go to i had a great barber and she was hilarious a
hairstylist
my friend gabriella she worked on news radio with me she was my she cut my hair
forever you know
but at a certain point in time she was cutting it it just looked like dog shit
after she was
just it's like it get thinner and thinner and then once i quit taking the propecia
then it was like a
serious downhill slide oh really yeah yeah shit was just dying left and right
it was horrible well
i agree with you i think that all young men like in their mid-20s should shave
their heads yeah it's
just so you don't worry about it you know if you're going bald for sure shave
your head i say
people don't like to shave my head believe me take control yeah it's better
than whatever the fuck
is going to happen if you don't shave your head i i wanted to shave my head i
went we were in india i
was with my wife casilda in india in goa for months we were in asia for like
over a year and i thought
this is the perfect time to shave my head because if i've got a weird shaped
head or i look like a
dork or whatever who gives a fuck right nobody knows me um and i came to her
one day we rented this
house on the beach i was like hey cut my hair i want to shave my head and she
said oh please don't do
that please so why why well it's not just because i she's used to me looking
like a dork but it was
my father had just had a liver transplant and she said in india you shave your
head when your father
dies and like and she's very suspicious and she's got all these beliefs and she's
like you know that's
your father's in rocky shape you don't want to be shaving your head you know
yeah that's different
yeah i could see that oh i missed my missed my chance yeah i missed my chance
when i was on news
radio that's when i got my hair transplant my first one i got three of them
when i got my first one i was
on news radio and i was like god damn this shit is going man i just like was
seeing it falling out
and uh i was like i'm thinking about shaving my head they're like don't do it
don't do it i'm like
took my hair starting to look like shit and uh they talked me out of it well
because it would
well fuck with your character yeah like because you'd look like a psycho i'm
like all right so i
didn't you know people get used to whatever the fuck you look right exactly
like i have a picture of
joey diaz um back when he was like 210 pounds it's crazy it's on my wall in my
office i stole it from
the comedy store was a headshot that he had up and um i don't even think it was
up i think i stole it
from the office i don't think they had put it up so i snacked it um but it's um
it's joey like thin
and like but if i saw if he walked in today looking like that i'd be like what
the fuck is going on
you sick yeah but i see him the way he is now i give him a big hug and that's
joey you know you get
you get used to you get used to the change definitely and i was thinking about
that i i turned 53 last
week right so i'm thinking about time and all that and um here in la visiting
my parents who are in
their 70s so there's all that you know there are a lot of cues f