Name: Joe Rogan Experience #618 - Artie Lange
Uploaded: 2015-02-26T07:30:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #618 - Artie Lange' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-02-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #618 - Artie Lange' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-02-26. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #618 - Artie Lange

That was a struggle to put that tweet out, and I think I fucked it up.
As I was releasing it, I was like, bitch, you didn't even spell check that.
Artie Lange, ladies and gentlemen.
Artie Lange, yeah, I fucked it up.
Whatever.
I didn't do the right thing.
The colon was fucked up.
Damn.
Whatever.
People figured out.
Artie Lange, ladies and gentlemen.
Artie Lange can play some fucking pool.
Oh, yeah, man.
You got a pool table out there.
I didn't get this body running 10 miles a day.
But, no, we played a couple games in the pool, but you kicked some ass, too.
It was fun.
It was fun.
Did you play in a pool hall as a kid or something?
Yeah, well, I tore my ACL when I was 21, and I couldn't work out until I got it
fixed.
My friend John Tobin, who was a stand-up comic from New York, he and I used to
meet at this
pool hall and just shit away our days.
You know, just work out of comics.
Right, right.
And I just started playing obsessively.
I got hooked on playing in tournaments.
Yeah, I went through a nutty time where I couldn't stop playing pool.
I had all these delusions of grandeur that I was never going to have to worry
again.
Because, you know, like Jackie Gleason in The Hustler with the chubby fingers
going ace in the corner.
It's so classic, right?
Deucing it.
When Paul Newman goes, look at that little chubby guy walking around like a chubby
ballerina.
Look at the way he moves.
Like a dancer.
Look at the way he moves.
It's like he's playing the violin.
Stick stuck between his chubby little fingers.
Yeah, that is an amazing movie.
That's one of my all-time favorite movies.
Absolutely.
Jackie Gleason's a hell of an actor, man.
Yeah, and we were saying, Jackie Gleason might have been like the best
celebrity pool player ever.
Like, Jackie Gleason could run 100 balls.
It's hard to find somebody.
He almost beat Moscone once, I think, in Stray Pool.
Didn't, but almost did.
Didn't, but almost did.
I don't know about that.
That sounds like some bullshit that Italians say over the fire.
Well, there was this one time.
Jackie Gleason, he had him on the fucking ropes.
He had him on the ropes.
Fucking Moscone, he was shitting himself.
Couldn't believe it.
This guy's going to be better than me at everything.
Yeah, I also have an uncle who told me he struck out Dominic DiMaggio.
Oh, Dominic DiMaggio, Joe DiMaggio's retarded brother.
No, he wasn't that retarded.
Was it a real Dominic DiMaggio?
There was.
It was a Vince, Dominic, and Joe.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I was making that up.
They all died broke.
Really?
Pretty much.
It was pretty.
After the 1989 San Francisco earthquake, that's where Joe DiMaggio lived, cops
found him walking
around the city in a daze with a suitcase full of $600,000 in cash.
So it was all from baseball card signings and shit.
Wow.
How weird.
Was he just getting crazy as he got older?
He was starting to lose it.
He was starting to lose it, yeah.
Marilyn Monroe pussy was that strong.
I bet it was.
Sounds like her and Rita Hayworth had magical fucking twats.
Broke a man.
Like apparently to his growth.
He used to leave flowers on her grave.
Yeah.
And Sinatra and Ava Gardner.
Yeah.
Some chicks know how to sling it.
Richard Price says, I don't know why business is always complaining.
I got half the money and all the pussy.
What the fuck?
Could it be a more truer statement made about life?
Yeah.
And there's some women that just have their currency, like their social
currency is worth
just so much more than you can ever afford.
She's so happy to just be with them.
And I think Marilyn Monroe was just so powerful.
She was.
Trying to hold on to a tornado or something.
Like, good luck keeping her as her wife.
Well, that's exactly what they were trying to do.
Yeah.
Because it drives you crazy.
Yeah.
Who's the other guy?
Was it Ginsberg?
Who did she live with as well?
Arthur Miller.
Arthur Miller.
Yeah.
And Artie Shaw.
Yeah.
Three, I guess.
Yeah.
I'm a film historian.
Are you really?
I'm an historian in a lot of ways, especially in sports.
I'll tell you what.
I don't know how I know this.
I have no idea how I remember this.
But you give me the year between 1949 and the year 2000.
So what?
51 years.
I'll give you the two teams who were in the World Series and who won.
Holy shit.
I don't know why I know it.
If you want to do a couple of them, I'll do it and then we'll get out of this.
I wouldn't even know.
Does anyone know who won a World Series one year?
These two guys, they don't fucking pay attention to sports.
What am I, on The View?
You're on The Male View.
You don't know any World Series titles?
I literally have no idea who won this year.
I don't know who's the World Series champion this year.
Right.
I don't know who won last year.
Really?
I don't know.
I really don't know.
I know.
It sounds ridiculous.
No one doesn't, I guess, if you don't like baseball.
You like football, right?
I don't even watch football.
You just watch that MMA shit.
I watch kickboxing.
What is that?
I watch jiu-jitsu.
What's the difference?
I watch MMA.
I watch those things.
It's all the same shit.
And I watch boxing.
And that's all I pay attention to.
Boxing, I love.
Mayweather in the back.
Yeah.
What do you think?
I think Mayweather is a very clever man.
Yeah.
Very clever man.
And setting the fight now is a good time.
It's a very good time.
I think so financially, too.
It's a good time financially, but it's also a good time for him as far as, like,
success-wise.
Manny Pacquiao was extremely dangerous just a few years ago, like, maybe even
more so than he is now.
So he lost some steps, though.
There's a thought, and it may not be correct, because his last fight against
Brandon Rios, he looked really fucking good.
And then Chris Algieri, he looked really fucking good.
I mean, he looks good, dude.
He's a beast.
Manny Pacquiao is a beast.
I know.
I understand that.
I've seen him fight.
But the thought is the Marquez knockout, when Manuel Marquez knocked him out,
knocked him out dead, cold, one right hand, bam.
And the thought is when a guy gets turned off like that, like, maybe there's a
little something that he lost.
Maybe there's a little step.
It might.
It's not always correct.
Sometimes guys bounce back from a knockout, and they're fine.
It totally varies on the individual.
But you've got to look.
Not a lot of boxers.
Ollie always says after Frazier hit him with that first left in the first fight,
he was more apprehensive than he ever was in his life.
He said it cost him the fight against Spinks and Foreman, because all he saw
was that fucking left hook.
He beat Foreman, yeah.
Boom, man.
And it affected the rest of his life.
It was a launching left hook, too.
Joe Frazier would throw himself.
Feet were off the ground, man.
Did you ever watch the fight between George Foreman and Joe Frazier?
Yes, yes.
That's insane.
I like Frazier, too, but it's classic Howard Cosell.
Foreman was just something different back then, man.
Yeah.
He was just something different.
He was hitting guys like 20%, 30% harder than anybody I've ever seen.
Fight night back in the 70s was fun, man.
I can remember being a kid really getting like, wow, you know, this is going to
be fun.
Yeah, I remember watching those ABC Wide World of Sports, Alexis Arguello would
fight.
Arguello Pryor?
Remember the two Arguello Pryor fights?
Yeah, incredible.
The one they thought Pryor's fucking manager put schnapps in to get him going.
Well, they thought it was Coke.
Oh, okay.
That's what the thought was.
But then he said it was liquor, maybe.
That doesn't make any sense.
More likely it was Coke.
If someone gave me a bunch of peppermint schnapps, I would not want to fight,
no.
Well, not only that, I don't think you could just drink.
Tell me if I'm wrong.
I don't think you could just drink Coke.
Like, if someone puts cocaine in a glass and mixes it with water.
There's the liquid coat that you shoot in your nose.
Dude, can you just drink it?
Yeah, I'm sure you could.
Dude, pick up Stevie Ray Vaughan's book.
About drinking Coke?
Yeah.
For about two years, he woke up every morning and dissolved cocaine into a
glass of Jack Daniels
and drank it like Rocky drank the eggs.
Oh, my God.
Really?
Yeah, because the nummies, when you're done with doing the line, you always put
the nummie on
your tongue or on your teeth.
Right.
It makes your whole mouth numb, so drinking it must make your whole body numb.
And especially in whiskey, so it's like an upper and a downer, you know.
Wow.
It's basically a living hell.
Well, he was just apparently, I mean, Richard, or Aaron Pryor, rather, later in
his career,
he had a real problem with drugs and a real problem with cocaine.
And so it was very likely that he might have had that problem even while he was
like an elite athlete.
And if you gave him just a little bit in the corner, like, there's no drug test.
But those fights, I'll give you another fight.
As a boxing fan, I ran Barkley and Duran.
Fuck yeah.
Holy shit.
Roberto Duran showed that even though he was, like, he was in his 30s at the
time, I ran Barkley.
He was bigger, stronger.
I ran Barkley.
He knocked out Tommy Hearns.
Did he knock out Hearns before that or after that?
Before.
Before.
Yeah, I ran Barkley.
He was terrifying.
And Roberto Duran boxed his face off the same way he did to Davey Moore.
Yeah, exactly.
I just wish he would have done it to Leonard.
I guess maybe he couldn't find them, whatever.
Go grab him and just beat him up.
Who knows what happened, man, that second fight.
Frank Sinatra got paid.
That's what happened.
It could be that.
A lot of people thought that he was paid to take a dive, that Duran took a dive.
A lot of people thought that Duran just didn't train and just partied like a
fucking wild animal
after he beat Leonard the first time.
Duran, he was one of those guys who won $4 million in a fight.
And then two months later, after a bunch of booze and cocaine and new shoes, he
needs to fight again.
He gets like these big white gold shoes and he gets heavy and then he needs to
box again.
He's a classic story, man.
He's a classic story.
I love Roberto Duran.
Oh, he's one of my all-time favorites.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joey Diaz got me his book many, many years ago because we would always sit
around and talk about Roberto Duran.
Right.
Joey's a huge Roberto Duran fan, so he gave me his book.
It's amazing.
The guy had an incredible life.
I'm sure he did.
A lot of boxers, if you think about it, probably have brought up nuts, I think.
Yeah, it's hard to be at the highest level without being a little nuts.
Yeah, you've got to nurture the physicality and then the anger.
And then before you know it, you've got a pit bull that attacks your neighbor.
That's what you want.
I was watching a video of Mike Tyson from 87 training with Kevin Rooney, and
they were hitting mitts.
You see young Mike Tyson, who was like, I don't think he was like 20 or
something at the time.
I don't know how old he was, but he was just fucking these mitts up.
Right.
Just moved so fast for heavyweight and all that bobbing and weaving shit that
he used to do.
Like, he bobbed and weaved after every combination.
Every combination he would throw on the pads.
He'd go down, he was short, and they'd miss him, yeah.
Dude, but even on the pads, like, that's how he did it when he was working the
pads.
He just was constantly in motion.
Yeah.
Something else.
Yeah, mental.
A mental thing happened, and that was it.
That's what I think.
Emotionally, you've got to stay tough a long time, man.
I mean, even Ali went, but he lasted long enough.
But Tyson, you know, a couple years, and then he went crazy.
And I don't blame him for, I'm not saying, I don't blame the guy for going
crazy.
Yeah.
I mean, look at the men who live in that Kardashian house.
They all eventually go nuts.
Yeah.
That's atmosphere.
Like, Lamar Odom starts smoking crack.
You know, of course, Bruce Jenner has a pussy, you know.
Not you.
Well, now he's getting one.
Yeah.
It's really difficult to believe.
Well, to be at the leve