Name: Joe Rogan Experience #617 - Brian Regan
Uploaded: 2015-02-26T11:27:59.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #617 - Brian Regan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-02-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #617 - Brian Regan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-02-26. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #617 - Brian Regan

Hello everybody, Brian Regans here, ladies and gentlemen, long-time friend
slash stand-up
comedian extraordinaire slash international man of mystery.
That's how I look at you.
Wow.
I like that intro.
When I'm working with people, I'm going to start asking them to go with that
intro.
Plus, you're the only comic I know that works outside of Vegas but lives in
Vegas.
Yes.
For everybody else, it's the opposite.
Right.
Or they live in Vegas only because they want to work in Vegas like a Carrot Top
type individual.
Yes, I do life and show business backwards.
I want a long commute.
I want to go to an airport and get on a plane and fly more than a thousand
miles away from
my home and do my work.
But you work everywhere though.
I mean, you work in Vegas.
Do you work in Reno?
Yeah, I'll do Reno.
You'll do Reno.
Yeah.
You won't do Vegas.
I mean, I might at one point.
You know, I mean, like those residencies seem kind of intriguing.
You know, Carrot Top, Rita Rudner, I think she's doing another one, I'm not
sure.
Yeah.
The people that, but not yet.
You know what I mean?
I still like being on the road.
To me, for now, that's what I want to be as a comedian, as a traveling comedian.
Yeah, the residencies are very strange because they're intriguing in some way.
I had a conversation with George Wallace about it.
I ran into him at the Comedy and Magic Club and he's done with his.
He used to do one and the way he described it, it sounded like a lot of fucking
work, like
a lot more work than you would think.
Like you would think, well, hey, for him, it's great.
He just has to stay there and he just kind of like does his show there and it's
no big
deal.
No, they, you know, they call it four walling it, I guess, you know, so like
you have to
fill that place and you have to fill it all the time.
So you're always doing promotions.
You're always doing this and that.
And, you know, like, I don't know how much of that he has to pay for, but I
believe a
lot of it comes out of his pocket.
And so he's constantly trying to fill the place up and constantly trying to,
you know,
put billboards up and keep the place popping.
And he has to do things in order to get people to remember him because he's not
out there.
Like when you're on tour, you're out there, you know, you're in Cincinnati, you
know, Brian
Regan's in Boston, Brian Regan's in Maryland.
You know, when you're in Vegas, you're just in Vegas.
Right.
So there's a lot more clutter, you know, when you're in that because there's a
lot of comedians
doing that and a lot of other shows in Las Vegas, I didn't realize it was that
much work.
So I'm changing my mind.
I never want to do a residency.
Yeah.
I'm out.
I've thought about like a partial, not a, never a residency.
I don't really want to live there, but a partial sort of a situation where you
do like a once
a month show there.
I think a once a month show there would be kind of fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've been doing the Mirage pretty recent, pretty regularly.
Like I did it twice in January.
But that's just because I'm there anyway for the UFC.
Right.
You know.
Well, George Wallace has a big billboard up, says best 10 p.m. show in Las
Vegas.
Yeah.
And I love the qualification on there.
If I did a residency, I would put a billboard right next to that best 10.05
show.
Or 10.03.
Best 10.03 show in Las Vegas.
Yeah, that's a weird qualification, right?
Best 10 p.m. show by some silly magazine.
It's always like Vegas Best Magazine.
Like where do I find this fucking Vegas Best Magazine?
The Las Vegas Review Journal every year polls everybody in Las Vegas to ask
them what they
think the best everything is in Las Vegas.
The best Italian restaurant, the best Mexican restaurant.
And Las Vegas is kind of like a hodgepodge of people like from all over.
And it's not the most cultured place.
So like the best Mexican restaurant is always like, I'm trying to think of, I
mean, it's
not Taco Bell, but it's like.
A bit shaky.
Yeah.
You know, it's like a chain.
And the best Italian restaurant is like something you go, no, that's not the
best Italian restaurant.
So the Las Vegas Review Journal always has to say, well, these are great
choices, but
here's some suggestions we make.
Like they're trying to push the culture a little bit.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
They have some pretty decent restaurants in Vegas.
That's one thing that Vegas has by far, like that's the most impressive is the
restaurants
they have in the casinos.
Like if you get a steak in Vegas at a big casino, it's going to be a banging
steak.
I've never had a bad steak.
Like a Kraft steak or a strip steak, you know, the places in MGM and Mandalay
Bay or Nine at
the Palms, like, you know, some of the best steaks in the world.
Yeah.
I haven't done a lot of those deals.
I mean, I'm pretty much like a home guy.
I mean, I'll go hit those places every now and then if I've got friends in town.
But I'm not a guy that really knows Las Vegas inside and out.
You know, it's embarrassing when friends come into town and go, where are we
going, Brian?
And I'm like, well, you know, there's a Chili's down the street.
There's a Chili's down the street.
They got a happy hour there.
And then we'll go get a draft somewhere.
You know, yeah, I'm not that guy at all.
Yeah, when we were at the UFC this last month, was it January?
Yeah, January.
And you almost looked like out of sorts.
And like, this is where you live, man.
Yeah, it was.
That was my first UFC fight ever.
Hannibal Buress was in town and texted me.
And I had seen him out on the road six months ago or something like that and
said, hey, you
want to go to the fight tonight?
And I'd never I've never been to a boxing match or a UFC fight.
So I was like, sure.
You know, it seemed like something fun to do.
And I started Googling what boxing matches were in.
I thought it was a boxing match that he invited me to.
Oh, that's hilarious.
So I couldn't find any boxing matches.
I'm like, I don't know what fight he's talking about.
And he said, well, just meet me at the will call window.
It's at the MGM, right?
Yeah.
So I meet him at the will call window.
He gets the tickets.
He goes, let's go inside.
I didn't know until we were walking in when I saw that cage.
I didn't even know what I was walking into.
I was like, oh, man, it's one of these deals.
It's one of these deals.
Yeah, it's funny.
Yeah.
It was fun, though, man.
It was really fun.
It was so much different than what I mean, I've only seen like little I don't
follow that.
You know, I've only seen like what I've seen on sports, you know, right stuff.
But there's much more art to it than I expected.
And I was thinking it was just gonna be a brutal, like a brutal match, you know,
just
two guys just going at it until blood starts squirting.
Right.
But it's actually, there's art and there's a science to it.
You know, it's more interesting than I think somebody who's not a fan wouldn't
realize that
there's more to it than what they might think.
Yeah.
Well, there's definitely a lot of technique to it.
Yes.
But the ultimate goal is the first part, the brutal stuff.
Yes, but they don't just go out right at it.
They have to figure each, there's a chess, it's chess and fighting.
Yes.
Yeah, that's a good way to describe it.
Both of those things are going on.
They're not just, the bell doesn't ring and they don't just start running at
each other
and just start pounding each other in the face.
They're waiting.
Sometimes it goes like that and sometimes they're waiting and looking at each
other
and figuring out, well, what's this guy, is this guy going to be on defense?
You know what I mean?
There's more mental stuff than I think people might think.
I would like to watch it as someone, as a completely uninitiated, untrained
person.
I would like to see what that feels like because I've been watching it so long
and kind of like I've lost touch with what it must look like on the outside.
But to see, I would like to sit down with you and watch it.
You know, because I was nowhere near you.
I was over by the commentator booth.
Right.
Well, I was in Comedian Row, man.
Yeah.
I got Tom Rhodes in there.
Tom Rhodes, myself, Hannibal Burris, Russell was there.
Russell Peters.
Yeah.
I mean, it was kind of cool.
And I appreciate the tickets, man.
Oh, no problem, brother.
Russell's there all the time.
He keeps a place in Vegas because he's there occasionally.
And I guess it's one of those tax deals.
Like, Vegas has some pretty sweet tax deals.
You know, if you live in Vegas, you pay no state taxes, right?
Correct.
So, like, for your income, that's pretty big.
Yeah, when I moved from California to Nevada, I didn't do it for that reason.
But it was certainly a nice byproduct, you know.
It's weird when you think about it because that's, like, a lot of money.
You know, I think it's 10% of your income, right?
Isn't it something nutty like that?
What, state taxes?
I don't know.
You don't even know?
It goes from 8 to 7, depending on where you live.
8 to 7, it goes down?
It's usually around.
I mean, it goes anywhere up to 10, but average, it's around 8.
Is state income tax?
State, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, so that's a lot of money.
If you're making good money, you know, that's a big percentage.
It's like having a manager.
The reason I know that there are no state taxes is at night, you look in the
sky over at
the airport, and you see a string of pearls.
There's about 15 little white lights.
They're all airplanes.
And they're all coming in, and they're landing.
And every one of those little white dots is filled with people, and all of
their pockets
are filled with money, and they're coming to leave it in Las Vegas.
Yeah.
I mean, it's amazing.
Whenever I'm flying home, flights are usually packed.
People want to go to Las Vegas.
So they're bringing, you know, most people are not going to win, you know, so
money just
keeps coming into that town.
Yeah, it's ridiculous in that way.
I mean, it's one of the only places we could think of where you're guaranteed
you're going
to have a bunch of people that are going to be risking their money, like, and
then spending
it, and then going all...
I mean, like, it's a weird place when you think about it, that it's based on
gambling.
Right.
You know?
And I saw an ad for a slot, you know, some casino was saying, we give 97% of
the money
back on slots.
And that was like a selling point.
And I think, can you imagine if your bank told you that they would give you 97%
of your
money back?
We only take 3% of your money.
Yeah.
Like, that's a good thing.
That doesn't even make sense.
Come in here, and we'll give you 97% of your money back.
How do they say that?
That's not true.
Because it's just not true.
I mean, there's no way they give...
They only make 3%.
There's no way.
I don't know.
I don't know if they could...
You know, I'm sure they can't lie, so there's probably some technical way that
that's true.
I bet it's technically true.
I think it's one of those, like, you know, there's like a house advantage.
You know, like, the house is like a 54% advantage.
You know, like, 54 to, you know, you're 46.
You know what I mean?
It's like one of those deals.
So that's probably how they get away with saying it.
You know?
I don't know.
But, you know, even if that...
Even if it was only 3%, that's still guaranteed money for the casino.
Right.
You're going to lose 3% of your money every time.
Which is...
Not every person, but, I mean, overall.
Yeah.
If people bet $100,000, they only have to give 97,000 of that back.
There was a weird case recently in New Jersey where a bunch of people, it was
ruled they had to give their money back because they won a lot of money playing
this game.
And the dealer had forgot to shuffle because the cards had come pre-shuffled.
And so somewhere along the line, these players realized that the dealer had
forgot to shuffle.
And so they just jumped their bets up higher and higher and higher every time.
And then they wound up winning like over a million dollars.
And then it was revea