Name: Joe Rogan Experience #647 - Dom Irrera
Uploaded: 2015-05-14T17:30:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #647 - Dom Irrera' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-05-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #647 - Dom Irrera' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-05-14. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #647 - Dom Irrera

There's a lot of people listening, a lot of folks.
Look at you looking at me, God bless you.
Look at you looking at me, looking at you.
Look at you with your yoga class.
I did yoga class today for the first time in a while.
All stretched out.
It's fucking hard to do, but you feel great.
You ever do it?
Yeah, I kept falling asleep.
I swear to God, I was doing it at the West Side Y in New York.
I'd go with my wife.
I would always fall asleep.
You fell asleep in yoga class?
I don't even know how that's possible.
Well, you lay down and just don't get up.
It's hard to do, though.
I did.
I fell asleep a number of times.
But I mean, the yoga's hard to do.
Oh, yeah, maybe this wasn't that hard.
This was just like stretching and stuff.
I did hot yoga.
Oh, no, no way.
As soon as you walk in, you're sweating.
I don't like that.
But it's good for you.
You really stretch out because of it.
But God damn, it takes a long time to stop sweating.
After you get out of there, I was sweating for like an hour and a half.
Did you drink a lot?
Yeah, yeah.
I drank a ton of water before, a ton of water after.
But it's so hot in there.
I mean, I don't know how many, 100 plus degrees, whatever the fuck it is while
you're in there.
Drinking alcohol must be a good buzz after that.
Yeah, you'd probably die.
Nah.
Nice cold beer with a shot of vodka.
Come on, Joe.
A shot of vodka?
You heard me, tough guy.
I don't drink vodka by the shot.
I'm more of a screwdriver sort of a gentleman.
Screwdriver?
What are you, my aunt?
I like a little bit of orange juice.
I like that for Tom Collins.
Tom Collins.
I don't even know what a Tom Collins is.
I don't either.
I just like the name.
I know what a Cosmopolitan is, but I don't know what's in it.
But I know the broads like it, Dom.
I'll have a Cosmo.
Yeah, there's a few drinks, right?
That they're feminized for whatever reason.
Those drinks became a woman's drink.
And then there's like vacation drinks.
Like a pina colada.
You know, if you're out with the boys.
All right, but you can't get high on them.
You get sick first.
Really?
Well, that's sweet.
Yeah.
You can get pretty fucked up on those things.
Get a buzz on pina coladas.
You know how much ice you got to drink?
That's true.
But the ice is probably good for you.
It helps rehydrate you.
I'm back on the sauce, by the way.
Back up, back down.
Back up, back down.
You're in, you're out.
I swear I'm never doing it again.
That's a danger of being a comedian, though, because I set my alarm.
Like, if I'm hungover, I got a show at 8 o'clock.
I set my alarm for 6.
P.M.?
Yeah.
Whoa.
That's sad.
I mean.
It's ridiculous.
I mean, like, you got, you know, you got kids.
You got a life.
I got, I'm a stand-up.
Nothing else.
I'm a clown.
I'm a verbal clown.
So, the time between you go to bed and 6 p.m., all that's spent sleeping?
Well, no, but it's just, I roll over in pain and agony.
I lament my mistake for the night.
Because the buzz doesn't last nearly as long as the suffering.
That's true.
That's one thing.
Like, if you are willing to go through the buzz, like, if you're willing to go
through
the hangover just to get to that buzz, that's a big, but you don't.
It's the opposite.
Yeah.
You go through the buzz, and then you get the hangover.
I regret it every time.
Like, very few people would go through, like, if you had to, the only way to
get drunk
is you had to feel like shit for 24 hours first, and then you could drink.
Yeah.
Nobody would drink.
Right now, as soon as you said the ice house was sold out, I thought to myself,
me and you,
martinis.
That's the first thing I thought.
Why'd you think that?
I don't know.
I just had the image of having a martini before you went on.
What kind of martini?
Like a James Bond type, shake it, not stir it, that kind of shit?
A little bit dirty.
A little dirty?
I like saying that to a girl.
A little stinky.
Gray goose.
Extra dry.
You know what extra dry means?
Not really.
Straight alcohol.
Oh, okay.
You know, because the other thing is vermouth they put in them, which waters it
down a little
a little bit.
That's why it's called a martini instead of a straight glass of vodka.
But basically, they're either gin or vodka, but everybody just makes them
pretty much
strong.
What's vermouth?
It's like some kind of sweet liqueur that's mixed with, you wouldn't drink it
on its own.
Huh.
So you only drink it in a drink.
Yeah.
Yeah, like olive juice is goddamn delicious.
Delicious.
Especially in a nice martini.
It's good for the blood pressure, too.
I'm sure.
Juice of salt.
Olives are very good for everything, right?
Yeah.
Olives are fantastic for you.
Yeah, the olive oil.
That's why all these Italians and French live so long.
Those poor fucking Greek fucks.
Those people, they live on that place where nothing else grows.
Where's that?
The island?
They gotta eat olives and shit.
Really?
Oh, it's hard.
Yeah, the places where olives grow, like people that use olives as a staple in
their diet,
it's very laborious.
I have an olive tree in my yard.
It's not easy getting olives out of that fucker.
Did you ever think you'd have an olive tree, Joe, where you grew up?
No, I did not.
I didn't ask for it.
It was just there when I moved in.
But my dogs eat the olives.
You don't eat them?
Yeah.
Nope.
Nope.
You don't just eat them.
I would never trust anything that I grew.
You know what I mean?
I'd still go to the store, even if I had an orange tree.
No, I have oranges.
I eat those.
Lemons, I eat those.
I grow tomatoes and kale.
I have a garden.
I grow a bunch of different kinds of vegetables.
I eat them all the time.
They're good.
Tomatoes, especially.
You can grow some fucking jam and tomatoes in your yard.
Tomatoes can be delicious.
I've never had a craving for kale.
I never woke up in the middle of the night, babe, we got any kale?
It's always chips and soda.
Why is it always the bad stuff you crave?
I don't know, but I'm on a good run lately.
I came home from the comedy store last night.
How'd you do?
Killed.
Killed.
Killed.
Killed.
Killed.
Killed.
And I said, you know what?
I was thinking about eating unhealthy, and I said, I'm in a good run right now.
I'm going to go to the fucking supermarket, get a bunch of fresh vegetables,
and blend
those fuckers up.
Yeah.
And I made a kale shake at like one o'clock in the morning.
That's why I like those juices that it's all like green juice and stuff,
because that's
a lazy way out, but at least it's healthy.
Yeah, there's a good place down the street from here I go.
It's called Juicy Lady, and they have them.
You can just order them right there.
It's nice.
But just to get fucking vegetables in your body.
So many people don't drink enough vegetables.
They don't eat enough vegetables.
It's like the number one problem, I think, that most people have.
They just don't get enough nutrients in their body, and their body's forced to
make do.
You live a dull existence.
Like, your mind is dull.
You know, your body feels dull.
I eat a little too much salami.
I love salami.
I know.
God's plan was, if you really love it, you're not going to live long.
Well, I found this place.
It's called Bordeaux.
It's out in Agora Hills.
I was just there the other day.
And they have, they make their own charcuterie.
How do you say it?
Charcuterie?
Sorry.
Charcuterie?
Charcuterie?
I don't know.
There's, you know, smoked meats.
They make their own salamis and hams and stuff like that.
Oh, it's fucking fantastic.
When you find, like, someone who's an expert at that shit and they really know
what they're
doing, I'm going to bring the guy some bear meat and have him turn it into salami.
You going hunting again?
Ooh, yes.
Have you shot a bear?
Yeah.
Yeah, I shot a bear.
Wow.
That's cool.
Come over and eat some.
It's delicious.
No, I'm good.
I'll just stop it in and out.
Tastes good, man.
People have this idea of, like, people ate bears for a long time before supermarkets
were
invented.
Well, it's funny how we separate what's really good for us to eat.
Like, it's okay.
Like, chickens and, you know, there are certain things.
Like, I wouldn't think of eating horse or buffalo.
I ate some horse in Montreal.
Montreal.
There's this place called Joe Beef.
It's a famous restaurant.
Oh, I know it.
You know that place?
I've been there, yeah.
Oh, that place is fantastic.
Yeah, it's great.
And they served us beef two different times.
One time it was like a beef tartare.
Joe, I was in there with you.
Were you?
When?
Yeah, I think the night of the fight.
Maybe.
I'm almost positive we went there.
Probably.
After that great French kid.
Georges St. Pierre?
Yeah.
Yeah, most likely.
Yeah.
I've been there a bunch of times.
I probably took you.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
Did you eat the horse?
Did you have a horse there?
No, no.
I went with Duncan.
We had horse tartare.
Oh, my God.
That's really going too far.
Like, egg and, oh, so good.
I hear the ponies delicious.
I'm a donkey guy myself.
And we had horse tenderloin.
You know, but it's one of those things.
Like, you know, you say horse to people.
And it's, for some folks, like there's a lady that lives in my neighborhood.
I would never tell her that I ate a horse.
She rides her horse by my house every day.
And she's real nice.
You know, I don't want to let her know that I eat horse.
I don't eat horse on a regular basis.
No, nobody.
No, you can't.
It's too rich.
Donkey cock is very, is a delicacy.
We served horse on Fear Factor.
It was one of the biggest issues on the show.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
As far as, like, as people complaining, we serve people horse rectums.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
And people were so angry.
They were so angry.
We had so many calls.
And this was like, you know, the early days of Fear Factor was essentially
before the internet
had a real voice.
You know, it wasn't.
The social media aspect of the internet hadn't really been created yet the way
it is now.
Right.
It was more of like, you know, there was like a few websites and a few blogs
and stuff like
that.
But the Twitter presence, the Facebook, you know, the communities that existed,
they didn't
exist like they do now.
Yeah.
Well, it's amazing the whole world's changed with that.
It's amazing.
For the good and for the bad, but more for the good than anything.
You helped me get on that.
You got to get on it, Dominic.
It's the only way to promote.
I had Lou Gatz before you.
Yeah, you got to promote.
I mean, it's the best way because you think about all the stuff that we used to
have to
do, you know, every time you would go on the road, you'd have to show up days
earlier and
do all this press.
Like, I think Ralphie May was still doing that up until recently where he would
show up at
a town like weeks out and do press and then come back in a week of and, you
know, really
try to get the word out that he was going to be there.
I'll do press in Philly.
Like I told you, I have the Atlantic City gig next week.
Yeah, the Atlantic City gig is a great gig for you, right?
That's your area.
Yeah.
Those are your goombas.
Tropicana next Saturday and it's 2,000 people.
And it's the most intimate 2,000 theater I've ever been in.
You know how they're built in such a way, like it's kind of an arc.
And so half of them are kind of around you.
It's really beautiful.
You worked at AC at all?
Yeah, I've done the Borgata a couple times, but that's it.
Yeah.
I've never done the TROP.
But the difference is the Borgata is a four wall.
So the casino is not as behind you as they are at the Sands.
The Borgata was good, but the Sands is great.
Not the Sands.
Tropicana.
You know why I say the Sands?
Because it's the best gig I've had since the Sands.
Oh, really?
Yeah, that was the first place I ever headlined.
Imagine how cool that was, Joe, for me.
You know the feeling.
I go there with Cher, which is already a big deal.
My family and friends are there.
And then, you know, nothing like pleasing your sister, your mother, people you
love.
And then I get the headline there.
And I got the headline.
And then he had me headlined when Whitney Houston couldn't