Name: Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - May 16, 2015 (Part 1)
Uploaded: 2015-05-16T21:12:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - May 16, 2015 (Part 1)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-05-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - May 16, 2015 (Part 1)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-05-16. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - May 16, 2015 (Part 1)

Oh, I like women.
Okay, we are.
We're live, we're live, we're live.
You're a woman?
Look at this picture.
Brendan Schaub's face when I ask for my money tomorrow at Fight Companion.
Eddie Bravo, Eddie Bravo is so silly.
The memes.
First of all, what the fuck are we doing, boys?
It's 7 o'clock in the morning.
We're in this fucking studio for live fights from the Philippines.
If you're listening to this podcast, this is not a regular podcast.
This is what we call a Fight Companion podcast, which means the fights are on
and we'll bullshit.
And 99 times out of 100, we're not even talking about the fight.
Some of the most hilarious and entertaining Fight Companions or podcasts turn
out from this.
But bottom line is we're all exhausted.
It's really early in the morning.
My man Eddie Bravo is here, jiu-jitsu master, music producer.
Cool motherfucker, best friend.
Aubrey Marcus, my brother, warrior, shaman, poet, character.
Also, cool motherfucker.
Brendan Schaub, about as cool as it gets.
Former UFC fighter.
Oh, current, maybe.
We'll see what's up.
Once the numbers drop.
Host of the Fighter and the Kid podcast, all around cool motherfucker again.
And Jamie Vernon, who came with the Krispy Kreme this morning like a
motherfucker, he brought
the Krispy Kreme donut.
Aubrey, by the way, I want to applaud you on your discipline.
I know.
You're like haunting me.
The lid is just open, wafting.
Aubrey's the only one who hasn't eaten.
Did you eat a Krispy Kreme?
Yeah.
Yeah, we all ate it.
Fuck it.
I'm a little disappointed, Aubrey.
Because now I feel bad.
And you're all shredded.
He's in a cage and he ate a donut.
Yeah, but he doesn't give a fuck.
We are here watching highlights of Costa Philippou smashing people.
And he's going to take on Gegard Mousasi.
And look at poor John Anik.
Brian Stan.
Look at Anik's new hair.
How about Stan?
He's like, I could be home right now.
Dude, he's in the Philippines.
They're both like, damn.
He's in the Philippines.
He's like fucking Brad Pitt right now.
What are you talking about?
He's having a great time.
Well, the Philippines, can you imagine if you could catch it right after Manny
Pacquiao
won?
Ooh.
Catch that wave?
God damn, they'd be so happy.
Did you see those videos, those photos of all the people watching?
No.
You know, there's no crime when he fights.
It's the one day where there's no crime in the Philippines.
The entire nation stops to watch him fight.
I believe it.
True story.
I believe it, man.
I wonder how they're going to do it.
I swear to God.
I swear to God.
That's a huge country.
It is, man.
That's how big of a deal he is.
Guys, it's like, fuck that dude.
Let's go rob someone.
Watch your P's and Q's.
That's Manny Pacquiao, bro.
Well, you know.
I think that's just, I don't know.
I don't know if I believe that.
That means it's like thousands of islands.
I think there's thousands.
Not a thousand.
I think there's thousands of islands.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
I wish I had the energy to Google it.
God, I want my boy Mark Munoz to win.
I've got a computer right here.
It would be nice if you won his last fight.
His last fight in the Philippines.
Not that I don't like Luke.
I like Luke Warnett.
Yeah, I like Luke a lot.
Mark is my fucking boy.
He's just such a good dude.
We need him to win.
Yeah, he's such a good dude.
You trying to bet on that, Eddie, or what?
You want Luke?
What's going on?
I got my guy.
You want double or nothing?
No, no, no.
Mark's my boy.
Yeah, I know, but.
No way.
No way.
Brendan Sharp wants to go double or nothing.
People used to think I was Filipino growing up, so fuck that.
Yeah, but you're not.
You're definitely not, though.
People think I'm Mexican.
I don't root for Cain every time.
But your boy, Aaron Hernandez, did he get convicted yesterday?
The guy who looks a lot like you?
I know, right?
He's the handsome motherfucker.
He's the opposite of you, though.
He just kills bitches, though.
But he's the opposite of you.
Like, you're such a sweet guy.
I know.
He's the exact opposite.
He's apparently a very mean person.
Yeah, he can't be killing people, man.
There's 7,107 islands in the Philippines.
What?
Islands must be cheap.
You could probably buy an island for, like, two grand, right?
Well, they only, sometimes they only stick around for a couple months, and they
go underwater.
That's why they're cheap.
They have, like, an odds thing.
Like, the realtor's like, you know, it's at the 30% line right now that'll be
underwater within five years.
Just look at the islands available.
Oh, well, we got about 6,000 right now.
I have no idea.
That's, like, super gangster money if you could buy an island.
Yeah, I knew it was over 1,000, and I thought it was thousands.
I didn't think it was 7,000.
All right, Aaron Hernandez, what do you think you got?
How many years you got?
I know the Boston Bomber dude got the death penalty.
Yeah.
Makes sense, right?
What the fuck are we doing?
Yeah.
Aaron Hernandez is screwed.
Who got life?
Whoa.
He still had two more trials coming.
Yeah, he has two more, right?
Whoa.
Because he got convicted of the one murder of Odin Lloyd, right?
Life.
Could they escalate to death?
Whoa.
Maybe.
Fuck that guy.
Can't kill people.
Yeah, that's not cool.
Bullshit.
Uh-oh.
Shit.
Anyone who knows him said they can't believe he made it this long without
getting caught.
I guess he's just a bad dude.
I don't really know that.
I didn't look into that story.
Yeah, it's kind of everywhere.
Yeah, Hernandez.
Baseball player or something?
Football player.
Football player.
Super scary guy.
Just a gangster?
Yeah.
Super talented guy.
Crazy talented guy.
What position does he play?
Tight end.
Won a national championship and a Super Bowl with the Patriots.
Damn, look at you.
Yeah, apparently he's just.
Follow my football, man.
Very mean.
Oh, that's right.
You play football.
No shit.
Okay.
I kind of know football.
Okay.
Aaron Hernandez was a big deal.
And everyone compared the two of us.
Was he just crazy?
Like, what was his deal?
He grew up super, super hoody and in a gang.
So, this is the thing, man.
So, he got all that money.
And the one team he shouldn't have been drafted to was the New England Patriots
because he was from Connecticut.
So, he didn't escape the gang.
There's gangs in Connecticut?
I bet your ass there.
Oh, yeah.
Gross there are.
Really?
Dude.
Mexicans?
Yeah.
I used to work in New Haven.
It's not Mexicans.
It's Puerto Ricans.
A lot of Puerto Ricans.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
That makes sense.
Black dudes.
So, they were saying if he got drafted by any other team, I mean, I'm sure he
still would have killed bitches, but it was just way worse because he had all
his homies there.
And then you have $40 million.
Huh?
You didn't give a guy like that $40 million?
What did you think was going to happen?
Damn, he had $40 million?
$40 million?
How much money did he make playing football?
That's so crazy.
Shit load.
Especially a guy of his caliber.
What do you think about Deflategate?
I think it's bullshit.
I think it's such bullshit.
I think Tom Brady would have beat them no matter what.
Make all the balls.
Deflate everyone's balls.
Tell me how it goes.
You know why I think it's bullshit?
It's because everybody had the same ball.
Yeah.
The other team had that ball, too.
So they still won.
Even if the ball was, like, slightly deflated.
No, they didn't.
They didn't.
Yeah.
It's not true?
I'm going to help you out.
Yeah.
God damn it.
Well, so...
Who gave me that bad information?
Jamie, did you give me that bad information?
So each team has their own balls, right?
The quarterback before the game will feel the ball.
So there's an Indianapolis Colts ball, and then there's a New England Patriots
ball.
Well, then what's the problem?
Well, they're saying Tom's was deflated, so it made it...
It's fucking stupid.
Deflate your ball, too.
Exactly.
Let me know how it goes.
But all the NFL's like, it doesn't fucking matter.
It's so stupid.
All the NFL thinks it doesn't matter?
The players.
All the players.
He got suspended for four games.
Stupid.
How many games did Ray Rice get suspended for beating the shit out of his
girlfriend?
Two.
What?
Hello, NFL.
What the fuck are we doing?
You fucking dummies, you got to at least suspend that guy for as many times.
Are they back together, Ray Rice and his girl?
Yeah.
Yeah, they're married.
She didn't press charges.
Yeah.
Incredible.
Have you seen that video?
I have.
He hit her with a left hook like Mark Hunt.
You can't do that, man.
It was like Donovan Razor Ruddock.
Remember how Razor Ruddock used to throw that shovel hook?
He was still like, right?
Dude.
Remember that?
Remember Razor Ruddock?
Oh, yeah.
It was more like Tommy Morrison's left hook.
No, Tommy Morrison's left hook, he would leap in with that.
Power.
I just want to say Tommy Morrison.
No, Razor Ruddock would catch bitches moving away.
Yeah, that's what he did.
Remember Razor Ruddock Tyson?
Yeah.
He gave him some trouble.
Fuck yeah, he did.
That was after prison?
No, that was pre-prison.
That was Tyson in his power.
Are you sure?
Oh, I'm 100% sure.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure.
Yeah, Razor Ruddock versus Tommy Morrison was actually a good fight.
Tommy Morrison stopped him.
It was kind of a bullshit stoppage.
But he did rock him with a left hook.
He cracked him with a left hook and hurt him and just threw a bunch of punches
at his arms.
Damn, that's one fight I was in.
I saw it because I actually was a Tommy Morrison fan.
You know, I felt sorry for white people.
You know what I mean?
Mexicans and blacks were just killing everybody in boxing.
So I like.
The one white guy?
I'm not white, but I would pull for the white guy because I felt sorry for him.
I appreciate it, man.
I appreciate it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Tommy Morrison was like, oh, come on, man.
I was rooting for him.
It's like a white running back, yeah.
I was watching him in Tuesday night fights.
Remember that shit?
He fought, man, he was fighting, who the, Michael Bent.
Oh, yeah.
He was supposed to just go right through Michael Bent, and Michael Bent just
lit him.
It was one of the most brutal knockouts in boxing history.
He was shredded, man.
Tommy Morrison was shredded.
Did you ever see the end?
He was too nervous.
He died, right?
Well, in the end.
Yeah, he died.
Yeah, he's dead.
Tommy Morrison died?
Yeah.
He's dead.
I didn't know that.
He just found this out.
He had AIDS, right?
I know he had AIDS, but I didn't know he died.
Well, most people with AIDS, they're not that healthy.
Unless you're Magic Johnson, right?
Unless you're Magic Johnson.
Oh, he didn't have AIDS.
He was just HIV positive.
He never even came close to having AIDS.
They gave him the best medicine available.
He got the super AIDS.
Yeah, it made him good.
But Morrison, before he died, had pec implants.
It was really crazy, and he was methed out of his fucking mind.
So he was on meth?
Yeah, well, you got to see what he looked like.
Some people call that living, brother.
Yeah, that's what I say.
His body was all fucking weird, man.
The crazy thing about meth is there's people that have done meth their whole
fucking life,
and they're still alive.
How do you go 10 years of doing meth, and how does your body adapt?
How do you still have teeth?
You know what I'm saying?
Okay, this fight's about to start.
Terry Hill, the referee, is standing in the middle of the octagon.
Got a set of tits on him.
Who is the referee that let Mark Hunt almost get his brains beaten in by Stipe
Miocic?
I don't know.
He was British, right?
I guess you'd be fired.
Okay, so these two gentlemen are going at it.
One of them is a diva in the red, and Makashvili.
So you don't have my money?
Is that what you're saying?
No, I got your money.
You got your money right now?
I got your money, yeah.
Oh, let's just talk about that real quick.
In cash or check?
Well, how would you like it?
I'm kind of like a bank.
They made a bet during the last UFC Fight Companion that Brendan Schaub's boy,
Pat Cummins,
was going to beat OSP, otherwise known as Ovin St. P