Name: Joe Rogan Experience #654 - Rich Vos
Uploaded: 2015-05-29T02:24:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #654 - Rich Vos' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-05-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #654 - Rich Vos' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-05-29. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #654 - Rich Vos

Killer Whale captivity in Ontario. That's beautiful
We live hey, I just got a tweet from Phil Demers that dude who's on the
Trainer Wallace trainer they banned killer whale captivity in Ontario. Rich Voss
isn't give a fuck about that though
Do you Rich Voss me at all one of my biggest
Missions in life is the killer where the killer whale
There's too much feedback. I'm trying to get this too much feedback like it's
just like a human Jimi Hendrix
Is there a hum like it?
How do I turn it down? It's there's knobs right is there a hum not a hum
I'm I lied cuz I fucked up. So I wanted to make it look like there was a reason
I fucked up
Where do you turn it down with what knob?
Well, you guys are
Talk up testing one two there. Oh my god
Yeah, it's a little weird. How about that? No a little in between that
Okay, so I can fuck it. I'm exactly right there. No, it sucks
I'm like a prima donna when it comes to sound to tell you the truth. I hate
wearing headphones
Don't do you you don't have to wear them. I don't know take them off fuck. I
like I have I like their little ones. I think okay
Yeah, I know we'll let Jamie handle everything Jamie if shit gets weird let us
know
No, I don't you gonna go crazy and stick with the headphones? I like the
headphones
You do he's gangster look at him look at him over there. Are you periscoping?
Yeah, let's live your life
Okay, did you go back to the little phone? Oh, that's this no I'm using the samsung
edge
It's very nice nice and actually works very well. I'm very happy with it. It's
great. I like that phone. It's a very sweet phone
Yeah, I got it for the ting. I got a
GSM card. Yeah, that's what I did an unlocked phone and
It's cool. The camera is so amazing compared to it
And if you compare that like the iPhone 6 with it, it's like night and day
difference how much better they though the camera
Yeah, the cameras
I'm a big fan of that samsung phone
They make a slick phone that new one the new galaxy the s6 and the s6 edge
Or there's so the quality is so much better than the 5, but I really wish they
didn't have to go with the
Now it's not waterproof anymore, and you don't have replaceable media storage
Can't you know it's really good battery out. You know what's really good though
is this one?
I was completely dead and it has such a fast charge on it in my car in like 30
minutes
It charged up to 56% of the battery in like 30 minutes. It was almost
completely
It's great. I like them though. I like them. Are you anti-technology rituals?
I got this the iPhone 6 plus because I want to make my little hands even look
smaller when I hold this thing
I can't tell me how many times I lay in bed trying to play Scrabble and it
falls out of my fucking hands
And it's just the most aggravating thing on the planet, but I'm you know, I
what do I use it for?
I take some pictures and
Maybe I'll record something
Internet
Twitter
What else do I need a fucking phone for I hear you know, I mean what what?
Recording that's it, you know the videos I take of my kids and that's it, you
know
So the cameras in these new phones are fucking incredible the people that make
cameras must be so bummed out
Because they used to think those little point-and-click cameras that everybody
used to have that mark is dead
I saw a lady the other day took a bit. Not only that. How about the people that
buy the ones that are disposable?
How white trash are you that you don't that you're buying a disposable fucking
camera?
You got to bring it somewhere and get it developed. Yes. Yeah, you got to stick
this these pictures are great because then
I'll send this to my iPad to my
To my MacBook and I'll send them what you know
It's fucking I don't even send them
I put it right next to it and it it downloads to
My iPad did you ever see that Robin Williams movie 24-hour photo? Oh, yeah
It's one of my favorite movies. It's a great movie. Yeah amazing, but today you'd
be like why would you go?
It doesn't make any sense. Why would you get developed? Don't you have a
printer?
Like what do you I have film that long do you have any film that you haven't
developed?
I just found a camera that when I was 20 I met a girl on AOL or a and she lived
in Chicago
My mom's like I'm going to Chicago. That was 20 years. It was like the first
girl I ever met on AOL
It was so 95 some it will one or two and I met her on
Thing and we used to go back and forth and my mom's like I'm going to Chicago
for work
And I'm like hey that girl lives in Chicago
So I met her and we would like spent a day together in Chicago don't remember
what she looked like, but
That text you sent me someone's trolling you obviously. Oh, yeah
Yeah, I found out of course. Yeah, he thought it was funny to say that he was
my son
Well, you'd have to be you would have to been like
16 17 17 but I was looking at and there was one girl that I that I had sex with
that I don't remember who she was and it could have been her
Tell him send me the pictures of me. Well, he said it was Asian
I was like oh, I had my first Asian a couple years ago
the worst
The worst is when you met her like I met this girl once and you know
She was hot and I flew to Florida a couple days to have sex, you know
And then like all of a sudden she I'm going out to lunch with her and her
mother like what the fuck
She said probably she's a stripper, so she's pure dysfunction and
We go to a hotel all of a sudden I fucking right when I bust a fucking nut
All I think is how am I gonna get out of this whole situation?
I mean, I'm talking another day and a half of this fucking horribleness and she
was hot
But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, but it matters enough to get you into
the mess. Oh
Yeah, yeah, it's okay
Well, it's like it's like anything like when you're copping fucking freebase or
crack
The whole excitement is going up there and getting through the guns and you
know deal
You know and not fucking you know what? I mean, and then you get it's like you
get to home and boom now
I got it. I made it through you know the minefields. I got the fucking crack
I smoke it all right, but the whole excitement leading up to it, you know
The best thing that ever happened to me with these fucking broads when I pick
them up and take them back to my place
And my shitty apartment I they they can never stay I said listen
You got to leave because my ex-wife drops my kids off in the morning and I can't
have my kids seeing you know
You you okay, I expect I don't want my ex-wife seeing you knowing that I went
from her to you
You know what I'm saying so hilarious getting them out is you know when you
talk about traveling and getting laid
It's just amazing the difference and I don't know if women I don't think they
have this experience the difference in perspective of before you have sex with
Them and then after you have sex with them it's so radically different like
before you have sex with them
You can't wait you like looking at her ass and look at her waist and her tits
you're like, oh, it's gonna be a mess
And then when you're done you're like, oh
God, what am I doing?
That's the difference between being with a girl you really do care about and
being with a girl that
Your body just tricked you you know and that can happen to a guy and that's how
you know
Like if you have sex with a girl and then afterwards you're hanging out and
talking and cuddling and you love it
You're like, oh
She's really nice. I really like her. I didn't get tricked this time. It's like
you don't even know until the fog clears
I go oh
Where are we? Oh, hello? Hi. It's so weird how instant it is also. It's
immediate. It's so disgusting
You could be with a girl and and everything's great like saying that all of a
sudden the way
She throws a piece of garbage in the wastebasket in your room you go. I hate
her
Just one little thing I was with this girl just I'm telling you I guess it was
right after my first divorce
I was working South Carolina, and I met this girl. You couldn't have been any
better looking smart
Great career newscaster
So in South Carolina were fooling around it was great. I'm like
Did I really find love again right? You know what I mean? I was like ah, she's
beautiful fun to be with
She came to Alabama where I was working. I guess whatever it wasn't far we
great weekend then I'm in Florida
work and she flies down to see me and
And and we're laying in bed, and I'm really sick. I have a fever and
She goes to touch me goes what can I do and I go well the first thing is get
your fucking arm off me
I like that I said don't touch me and then I knew I I knew like
You have to get out of here
I can't I can't hand I can't I can't do this and it was she was perfect
because I'm so fucking damaged in life that
I'm gonna destroy everything around you know what I mean when you have that
damaged
personality and that you know the whole I'm not good enough or I'm not where
you somehow you're gonna fuck it up
You know, that's what's great about Bonnie
She's as damaged as I am. It's like, you know, she really
Really?
Let me tell you. Let me tell you a story
Okay, and we told on our rage she grew up on a fucking farm. Okay
When she I guess 11 or 10
She had to have a major operation, you know something removed from down down
here
I don't know what it was it was no God I wish I wish she still had one of those
so
She had to have it removed, right?
11 years old and she lived in Cold Lake and
her parents
Put her on a bus
To go have the operation and like Toronto or wherever
10 or 11 years old maybe nine
By herself because her parents couldn't leave because it was harvest season and
they were farmers
They put a nine or 10 year old girl on the bus to go have a go have part of her
body taken out
Oh my god in the hospital, you know
And then come home, you know what? I mean, I think maybe they visit her at one
point
But she grew up, you know a poor in the beginning sleeping on dirt floors, you
know, and then they're you know
Farmers and killing chickens and this and that and
you know and but she was always creative brilliant fucking I read one of her
books
She made as a kid called a chicken island, you know, she wrote a book as a kid
just brilliant brilliant
And that's how my kid is and and and and then if you don't think she's damaged
She went out with Mark Cohen, who's a guitar act. How can you not?
Fucking nothing against a guy good songs
She's a comic and a female whatever that guy huh?
I don't know. He was married had kids and his wife
Did some cancer stuff or whatever and I always got along with him here's a good
guy
He was a nice guy. He was a great guy. Everybody liked him. Yeah, he was a
great guy. He was funny
Is he out of business? I don't think so. He's probably just doing whatever, you
know
Just never hears name anymore
Sometimes that happens, you know you like you're around a guy all the time and
then for whatever reason you don't hear their name anymore
they just
stop like
exchanging circles or you know your circles stop interacting with each other
yeah, there was this guy Anthony
I knew I knew and you would always hear his name Anthony
Kuma and
You don't hear
Yeah, you don't hear his name anymore
No, well, he's still preaching to the converted
How many do you know how many podcast?
Subscribers he has cuz he's subscription only right yeah, which I think
22
22 people yeah, no, he's doing I think he's doing all right. I think he's doing
all right
It charges like five bucks a month or something. I have no I think he's doing I've
done this pocket
It was a lot of fun when I went out there if he was in New York and they are
sending up in New York
Then it'd be like he needs to move to ad base though if he moves to ad base. He'll
be fucking huge
He's really good. He's funny. He's a funny fucking guy not only he's very smart.
He's politically smart. Yes, very knows
Politics he knows what's going on but people are not gonna pay
They're not paying to subscribe to things especially when you can for the same
amount you can get all the chann