Name: Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - June 20, 2015
Uploaded: 2015-06-21T04:31:52.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - June 20, 2015' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-06-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - June 20, 2015' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-06-21. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - June 20, 2015

companion podcast if you never heard one of these podcasts before don't expect
us to even pay
attention to the fights sometimes we do it sometimes we go and think oh great
joe's gonna do commentary
nope brendan's not doing commentary calen's not doing commentary i will do
commentary because i
know nothing about the fights he'll pretend that he uh is giving strategy
advice that wouldn't
really work exactly but uh what we do is we watch the fights and uh you can
sync it up um right now
it's the first fight who is this this is hein and boy try saying this name is
that hein nick hein
versus lucaz sedjewski yeah sedjewski there he is there's lucaz sedjewski who's
my favorite
fighter who ends in a ski there um this is the first fight on the main card who's
that guy there the
guy on the left yeah fabulous viking character with tattooed thumbs it's a
great look he's not tall
tattooed thumb he's got tattooed thumbs he's built built a little like me
running out there is lucas
and uh so like i said we we might talk about this fight or it might be diarrhea
talk maybe you never
know sex drugs and podcasts that your new shirt yeah yeah nice fighter and the
kid killing it thank you
to brendan schaub our designer our chief designer fighter in the kid.com i go
like this he asked me
the guy my opinion i go i don't know maybe and he goes oh i'm not asking your
opinion just showing
them to you and i just i don't hear back from him i'm like i have an opinion i
said i said you have
the fashion sense of anne frank literally i was dead serious that's a very
interesting holocaust uh
reference i was i was very surprised that you can't see what she's wearing very
similar to you well
no no no no now now you're you're confusing anne frank with helen keller that's
right unfortunately
damn i said helen keller why did you have this early why do i have to go there
we're doing so well
oh shit anne frank would be great if you were wearing camo in an attic right
and exactly
anne frank
and that's it yeah i knew i knew you were thinking about you knew what i meant
though and i should have just kept my
mouth shut but the problem is anne frank though you it would work with anne
frank because she probably
wore just one like dowdy dress because she had to live in an attic right for a
year damn hind is ripped
no he's a big kid the kid's in good shape yes he is he was also in his corner
oh yeah he's a tiger muay thai
guy he was also a he was also a uh a policeman tiger muay thai apparently is
just a fucking banging gym
over in phuket thailand they just have an amazing camp there there's a couple
camps down now aka has a
big camp yeah mike swick's down there right yeah mike swick's soul hulk yeah i
know i wonder why mike
swick decided to move his camp to thailand oh shit tony i didn't know this what
a surprise what's up
what's going on good to see a nice surprise tony why don't you lock us in since
you're the last one
in so no one doesn't no one comes in here looking for yeah i think for swick is
a business decision
right like he was going to open a gym and why thailand i mean he has a family i
don't know why the
fuck he decided to go to thailand i forgot he had a family i thought he was
like wiling out on the girls
and the gyms that sounds phuket phuket i hear amazing things about that's what
i hear amazing and
when i when i shot a little movie called hangover 2 uh all the stunt guys and
most of the just tough
guys around were all professional or aspiring professional muay thai guys who
spoke i think
a little bit about training in phuket yeah that area um like i said it's got
that two those two gyms and
it's supposed to be like a really cool tourist area too it's supposed to be
beautiful yep it's spelled p-h-e-t
which would be fuck it tony mother sounds like a great plan lightning is on
fire last night at the
comedy store then shows up for the fight companion funny because he's in love
with yoana jerker dick
how do you say i'd say jerky dick i took some heat for that did you oh yeah
yeah from who from the
boss no no fans i thought about correcting you when you did it on the podcast
you barely have a boss right
now by the way get used to that it's a great feeling oh boy don't say if you
say jerky dick in front of
tony he might get upset i get a little offended i've been over this i wish we
could i wish we could respect
johanna i do she's the baby you should know how to say her fucking name before
you tell people to
respect her yen jay check yoana not johanna yoana and how do you say her last
name yoana yen jay check
yen jay check yen jay check oh i like that yoana yen jay check she the way she
has it there's like a
little bit of an oo in there you want jay check i just call her jj her friends
call her jj have you
ever forgotten that you'll really call her jj no i made that up oh you should
that's good oh you're
talking about jj the champ jj he's gs marketing gs it's not even tough to
say george st pierre and everybody was saying gsp it's too long when you have
you ever uh when you
are not calling fights do you ever god guys guys seriously guys okay first
fight is about to start
if you're going to sync this up i'll let you know right when they touch gloves
now they touch gloves
yeah so the clock right now the moment they show the clock we'll let you guys
know so you can sync
it up okay we call this sarah we call this feeling the guy out with four four
forty eight four forty seven
four forty six four forty five okay so there you go now you're synced up um
because the internet runs
about 10 seconds at least behind depending on where you are the u stream feed
will run about 10 seconds
behind great tan on that guy dude can you tell he trains in thailand lucas is
going after it yeah you
can't help it he's got a kind of skin that smolders isn't it interesting that
like tan like that is
actually good for your body and your endurance and the way your um your body
makes muscle really yeah it's
anabolic you know vitamin d and your production of vitamin d and aids and the
anabolic process that's
why a lot of fighters get tans yeah i do steve maxwell told me that yeah but
you were just sexy
bitch yeah i would get tan because i'm vain thanks man but oh i'd get tan
because i'm very vain
and you don't mind wrinkles no me no on the face you like that fucking leathered
old look well
i do dye my beard my sister looked at me the other day and she goes oh your
face looks like it needs
lots of water i was like your sister's just mean she's hilarious but mean she's
very smart yes she
is yes you guys are getting along very well we did we got along great at your
daughter's party
yes i clung to your sister my sister is one of those she's pretty amazing that
way she's very smart
smart and not not sentimental either good yeah she doesn't i said do you get
hormonal when you uh
have your period she goes no and that annoys me i remember when she was younger
i was like whoa
she's not a very doesn't have a lot of girl energy i bet your sister got along
with patty great
mm-hmm i knew it very well call everybody pussies yep jeez that's too intense
man that's too intense
i hate that i don't like when girls talk like that man those girls are scary
yeah my sister's not
sentimental whoa whoa she's not romantic or any of that stuff easy bitch simmer
down
bitch someone's gonna make you swallow your teeth my sister my sister used to
my sister used to have a
an eye for weakness like if she saw a guy with what she called a weak chin or
if somebody was sleeping
with their mouth open god help you she'd be like we'd be on a plane we'd be on
a plane she'd go look
at that guy with his mouth open what a weakling she's like come on man he's
just sleeping his jaw's
hanging open she's like that's annoying that's your dad's barbarian genes yes
she's all my i call her
i the joke is i look at her i go daddy oh i mean kathleen they look alike that's
not good no
haha she's got she's got bigger bones she was the husky one i was the frail you
wish you had your
sister's jeans dude i would get cold really easily i had no i was so skinny and
my sister was like what
are you cold for you baby she has a full set of hair on her too yeah she does
well chicks don't usually
go bald too often right brendan i don't know if you know that she's not
suffering from male pattern
well we're talking about her like she's a warlock i'm just saying she has a
nice set of hair on her
she also has a little dick she does have a tiny tiny cock but huge balls that
was a nice that was a
nice transition there behind recognizing that that knee is coming kind of telegraph
that knee now right
at the back but give up the position small small arms his short arms and legs
give up the position
he's very muscular he sets a rare look these days um as guys get your hands off
in the lighter and
lighter weight classes guys are becoming less and less muscular really yeah
yeah well because we got
cowajiri and siever on the car tonight two guys that were real thick for their
weight class it's just
super rare wait till this drug testing kicks in everyone's gonna look like gumby
and you're not
joking to kermit the frog you're not joking it is uh it's very very weird what
what's going on here
because uh the ufc is deciding to do it on their own they're deciding to clean
up the sport on their own
but it's an inherently dirty sport but they're not part of it right they're
handing it off so the ufc
they can't tell them who to test they're just saying all right you guys do it
strict as
fuck we're just going to stay out of it they're telling they're telling the
commission to do that
no there's not a commission they're bringing in water that we're bringing the
people that busted balco
the strictest drug testing in the world and they're going to have it year round
right they're going
to do it randomly all year round the five five random tests a year they show up
at your house
three o'clock in the morning brian get up god damn yeah you ain't no yeah the
problem with that
they're not waking me up good luck in through security son yeah hashtag rich
they're getting
that's so obnoxious i'm rich man they're getting guys that are um you know like
in the middle of your
sleep cycle you're up their whole day if you could up a couple days of training
they could take a shot
and maybe they wouldn't have taken if you'd done that you know i mean they
might be slower in the gym
because of that that's really you're gonna get a piss i'm gonna piss on your
face you're waking me at
three in the morning yeah this should be over but they don't want to make it so
that you could cycle it
you know you can get apparently alex rodriguez by the way this scientific
analysis is brought to
you by joey diaz who told me about this so take it with a grain of salt yeah
dog they got these
fucking gummy bears alex rodriguez was taking gummy bears he would take them
and they would test by the
time he knew exactly when to take these fucking things so that when they were
going to test them it
would be out of his system no he's right a fucking gummy bear he's right they
he would do it during the
game by the end of the game if they test them is out of system how is that
possible i have no
idea i wish i had the fucking scientist but is that still possible because
someone get those to
vitor i'm not sure like yesterday yeah right yeah was that the weirdest
transition of bodies vitor
between luke rockhold and vitor fighting weidman it's like what the happened or
or over him that
time no but over him still looks like a stud yeah like over him is smaller than
he used to be but
he still looks like a stud when over looks deflated i agree he looks to play
like yeah he looks
like someone stole his meat but over him when he fought brock lesnar i was like
holy
fuck you need to beat brock's ass shut that shit up whoa what the hell yeah it's
called guys yeah
guys i'm sorry you beat brock's ass and then just walk on over to the fucking
uh orleans casino and win
the mr olympia like h