Name: Joe Rogan Experience #667 - Kurt Metzger
Uploaded: 2015-07-01T01:36:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #667 - Kurt Metzger' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-07-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #667 - Kurt Metzger' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-07-01. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #667 - Kurt Metzger

We are here live with Kurt Metzger, the president of the Donald Trump fan club,
and he's going
to let us know about the campaign hopeful and exactly what's going to happen
with Mr.
Trump once he becomes president.
Kurt?
I'm all for a Trump president.
What did he say?
It's going to be the biggest economic turnaround?
He made some big promises.
He got fired from NBC, man.
Did you hear about that?
He's suing.
I'm going to sue.
Donald Trump?
He got fired.
Oh, his firing show?
Yes.
He got fired from the fire show.
Oh.
An ironic end for him.
It is.
He says he's going to sue, though.
He'll have the last laugh.
Why is he suing them?
Like, what are they firing him for?
Well, he made a bunch of disparaging comments about Mexicans, about people
crossing the border,
and he was just talking like a rich guy with no sense whatsoever that he could
be held accountable.
I love that.
Yeah.
I love that blather where you just can't lie and hide it.
You've got to let it out.
But I never blame the corporation that has to fire whoever for a thing.
Like, that's what I expect them to do.
It's a business.
You know what I mean?
Like, I would never put that on them if I got fired from something.
I would like to sue them after that seems fucking a little crazy.
I think he just sues anybody who gets in his way.
He's a fucking steamroller, a steamroller of lawsuits.
Does he win, though?
I don't know.
I mean, he has a rock solid contract is what TMZ said.
So it's like, that's why he's doing it.
Okay.
And it's the beauty pageant.
It's awesome.
So they fired him from that, and then Mexico said that they won't put a woman
in his beauty
pageant.
It's over.
What is it?
Miss Universe?
Is that?
Miss Universe.
Miss Universe.
So it's a rough week for a fucking multi-billionaire.
They have Donald Trump pinatas, or pinatas, are, like, going crazy, though, in
Mexico.
Everyone's beating, like, these Donald Trump pinatas.
Oh, that's hilarious.
Yeah, they get mad, man.
I don't, you know, that's not, like, I guess because I'm on the East Coast, it's
not, like,
a thing, like, I don't, I don't have, like, any strong feelings about
immigration.
Like, so I never know how to, like, Anne Coulter on my show, and her, she wants
to talk
about her book, Adios America, right, about, like, the illegals are coming, and
I'm
like, I don't really have any, I'm like, well, I don't give a shit if they come.
Like, why can't we go after their employers?
Yeah, why can't you?
Why can't, okay, Jim.
Why can't you?
The thing about Mexico and California is that Mexico you can just drive to, and
a lot of
people over from Mexico, they're really, you got a good point, there really isn't
a place
like that on the East Coast, except for Cuba.
Right.
Cuba's got, you know, the Miami thing, or, you know, Miami and Cuba are right
next door
to each other, so a lot of Cubans.
Did you have friends or, like, one of my best friends from college, this dude
from Peru
was telling me how Cuba's a utopia, that was his term?
It is if you like 1950s cars.
Yeah, I guess, I'm like, nobody's on an inner tube floating to Cuba that I've
ever heard of.
That's just why I don't buy.
Well, they have some good things, you know, they seem to be, like, really nice
people,
they have a great sense of community and family.
Have you ever been there?
No.
Oh.
But I wish I could tell you why I may go, but I'll tell you off air.
Sorry, folks, it's a secret.
But what you see down there, for real, is, like, these incredibly restored, old
1950s American cars.
Oh, yeah.
Because that was the last time they were getting cars.
Oh, right, yeah.
Yeah, look at all these cars.
This is Cuba.
Oh.
Like, this is, like, when you...
Oh, I can finally film my 50s, uh...
Yeah, I mean, I don't...
Gang musical.
I don't know how they're doing this, you know, what...
That's really cool.
...with the bodies, or how they make sure that these bodies stay restored, if
they're remanufacturing them.
I don't know how they're doing that.
Like, some old cars, they take, like, some old cars, and then people will make
new body parts for those old cars.
The cars are made of people, Joe, did you know?
What?
But look at this.
This is Cuba.
I mean, there's a few new cars in there, and the one on the left-hand side.
But there's a lot of this, man.
That's cool.
That is cool.
It's weird, right?
And you said you're going for sex tourism?
Shut the fuck up!
Jesus, Kurt Metzger!
I don't know...
Yeah, I don't know how long...
That looks fucking kind of cool, actually.
How long have they been using these old cars?
Like, that is older than the embargo, right?
The embargo happened in the 60s.
They really built them back then, you know?
You know what I'm saying?
So, like, these are really old cars, though.
Like, that up on top, I think that's a 56.
57 or a 56 Chevy?
That blue one to the middle?
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure that's a 50s.
Like, a late 50s car.
Look at that taxi.
It looks like the Mork & Mini chair.
That's a real taxi.
The egg.
Yeah.
The Nanu Nanu egg.
Yeah.
1952 Oldsmobile.
Wow.
So there are a few, like, see, there's fairly modern cars in the background.
It's a modern truck.
But I guess you see a lot of these old cars.
It's kind of wild, man.
Yeah, it's pretty strange.
It's like a time machine, you know, if you go back there.
Dick Tracy.
Oh, that's cool, isn't it?
Well, they're all cool.
But driving them is like driving a living room.
They're retarded.
They're just the dumbest fucking, they're the dumbest shape ever for, like,
getting around.
I think that fucking Fiat's a stupid shape.
You know that commercial?
Yeah.
They always run of, like, the women want to fuck it.
Yeah.
It's the dumbest.
It's shaped like DeRose.
They have weird commercials.
Their commercials almost always involve fucking.
Yeah.
Remember the one time there was a kid in the back seat and all the bras and all
the girls
getting changed in the front seat and all the bras and everything are flying on
him
and he's just sitting there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know, I fucking hate those commercials.
For the same reason you'd read, like, a feminist blog hating that commercial.
Or for a different, like, I hate it too, but I think they hate it for a reason
different
than my reason.
Right.
Like, I'm insulted by it.
They hate it because it's objectifying women.
All women are just there to be sexual, play things, and throw their bra on your
face while
they're driving.
Yeah, I know the difference.
Everybody really believes that that really changes you so much, like, the
little extraneous
shit that you look at.
Changes your perception.
Well, it bothers me because I resent the idea that I would just, oh, tits, okay,
I'll
buy a Fiat.
Yeah.
Oh, tits?
Like, that's annoying to me that someone would think I was that dumb.
But, uh, I don't understand the objective.
You know what's the worst objectification?
Those fucking, uh, like, top ten worst beach body lists.
You ever seen that shit?
Yes.
That ain't for men.
Who's reading that?
That's what my girlfriend, like, which girl has the shittiest body?
I would never even look at a list like that.
Yeah.
How is me?
Like, the burger commercial's, like, nicer, you know?
Unless there was someone on there that you used to think was hot, then you
might check
out, see how far the slide has gone.
Like, ooh, you might look in a train wreck way.
But, yeah, those things are for women.
Yeah.
But some women, it doesn't mean to find, like, it's like if you're creating
characters for
fiction and the idea that you can't create a cunt, you know, you can't make a
slut, you
can't make a girl who's all fucked up in the head.
Well, they exist in life, okay?
Right.
And if you're making fiction, your fiction doesn't necessarily have to
represent anything
other than what's in your head.
What's the wacky story you're trying to get out?
You don't have any obligation to use a certain amount of Asians.
You don't have any obligation to use a certain amount of white people or black
people.
Your obligation is to make something cool up.
Make it up.
Right.
Pull it out of your head.
Well, look, people don't worry about entertainment like that.
That's a very, when I was religious, that was our, when I was Jehovah's Witness,
dude,
like, every fucking thing I watched, like, Smurfs was off limits for some
fucking bullshit
reason, right?
They wouldn't let you watch the Smurfs?
Yeah, I mean, so what, really?
But there's, I don't know, there's some demonic thing with that.
And it's all this fucking, and then I remember the Simpsons, somebody came in
and gave a
talk, Brother Tucker, his name was.
He was like the traveling overseer was his title, all right?
And he would come and, like, give talks in the congregation.
I was in meetings like three nights a week.
So, he gave this whole fucking talk about all this shit that, like, how E.T.
was bad.
E.T.?
Yeah, because he healed the boy.
And, like, now who do we know is the only person who can heal?
Oh.
Like, I might start believing E.T. is the real Jesus, or that's the fear.
Wow.
And then the Simpsons had rebellion against authority, and disrespect of, like,
your elders.
So, that's, so then I could hear the mothers, well, I'm not letting my kid
watch it.
I could hear them chattering after that.
Like, that's what this shit is now.
It's like, what is, what's the representation?
It's not propaganda.
Right.
This shit's just candy, you know?
So, we were talking about this before the podcast.
Do you think that some, like, overtly upset PC people, that what they're doing
is almost
like a form of, like, protecting the Lord?
Yeah.
Almost like a form of fighting against blasphemy.
Yeah, I remember those people from my church.
I remember all of them that were like, oh, well, you something.
Like, every little God doing that same behavior.
I believe that 100%.
I think you're right.
You don't notice the exact same thing?
Yeah.
I don't even, listen, I don't even mind them.
As long as you're not trying to get me fired, I don't, you can say whatever,
you know?
But if you want to criticize, I'm not against criticism.
Right.
Right?
That's fine.
Just, do I have to be fired?
Just, can we not do that part of it?
Well, that, that, that is where you find out, like, exactly what kind of people
they are.
Like, what, what exactly are they trying to accomplish?
Are they trying to engage in discourse with a reasonable person?
You're a reasonable guy.
You'll have conversations with people.
But that's the thing.
They want you instantly labeled as an unreasonable person.
Who's not to be debated.
Well, you shouldn't even have to bring it up.
You should just know what the right thing is to do.
Remember the anti-Seinfeld?
Mm-hmm.
Like, well, you know, Seinfeld, by the way, Chris Rock said the same thing,
right?
Yeah, of course.
About colleges are too busy.
But he's allowed to.
Yeah, there was not, so then Seinfeld comes out and it's like, well, he's
irrelevant and an old man or something.
Which, by the way, that's like saying someone's fat.
Yeah.
Like, what, I don't see the difference there.
It's an ad hominem.
Right.
I mean, it's diffusing his, his argument.
And what he's saying is, you know, what Jerry Seinfeld was saying was that the
colleges are too PC and they'll call you on everything.
Well, the thing with his daughter of these, they don't even know what the fuck
these words mean and what constitutes that.
Right.
And that's exactly right.
That's, I don't think that PC ruins comedy.
Like, people who are funny are still funny.
It kind of fucks up audiences, right?
So we both, I have the same goal as one of these PC people.
Like, I think people should be more sensitive to each other and all that shit,
right?
I do as well.
But their system is not going to create that.
It's just going to create fucking people that shut down at buzzwords.
Right.
So that's not helping.
It's not accomplishing anything.
It's also a game.
There's like a, there's a total that's being run.
Yeah.
On one side, people are trying to catch you for things they can catch you with.
You know,