Name: Joe Rogan Experience #675 - Kirik Jenness & Chris Palmquist
Uploaded: 2015-07-29T02:02:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #675 - Kirik Jenness & Chris Palmquist' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-07-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #675 - Kirik Jenness & Chris Palmquist' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-07-29. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #675 - Kirik Jenness & Chris Palmquist

All right, we're live. That's it. You don't have to do it, Chris. Don't worry
about it.
All right.
Carrick, Chris, what's going on, guys? Are you paying attention? What are you
doing? Hello, Chris.
Yeah, I'm good, man. How are you?
What are you doing? Checking your email? We're live. There's a million people.
All right.
Fucking Christ.
I'm good.
Let me see my Facebook. Oh, I got a like on that picture.
I get one here.
You guys are the head, the owners of my favorite all-time website for Mixed
Martial Arts.
It's changed names three or four times since I've been a member.
Submissionfighting.com back in the day, right? What was the original?
The original, well, I grabbed a bunch of URLs before the sport really had a
name.
That would have been 95-ish or so.
One of the ones we grabbed was Submissionfighting.com.
I asked the guys at the gym out of Submissionfighting.com, Mixed Martial Arts.com,
and a few other ones what they liked.
They said Submissionfighting.com, so we ran with that for a few years.
But I would get outraged emails from people saying this is not what I was
expecting.
And what they wanted was one of those sort of porno apartment wrestling kind of
sites.
And then my mother said she would tell her friends what I was up to.
And she'd say, they'd say, what's the URL?
And she'd say, submissionfighting.com.
And she'd get long looks from them.
So after my mother started complaining, I changed it to Mixed Martial Arts.com.
Then the UFC switched to UFC TV, so we became MMA TV.
And then the UFC dropped the TV, so we went back to MixedMartialArts.com.
That's where we are forever.
Although, somebody offered us, they offered, they didn't complete $600,000 for
MixedMartialArts.com.
And we would have dropped it in a heartbeat for that and gone back to MMA TV.
Why didn't you take it?
We did take it.
They didn't come through with the money.
Oh, they changed.
I was like, it's all yours.
$600,000?
$600,000.
That's insane.
Wow.
Didn't business.com go for, like, $7 million or something crazy like that?
Yeah.
What the fuck, man?
That's a lot of goddamn scratch.
The one that kills me, though, is I turned down MMA.com for $200 at the time.
Because the sport really wasn't MixedMartialArts.com.
People called it that, but MMA wasn't really a thing yet.
It was the main mall association, and they had let it lapse.
And for $200, I could have grabbed it.
And I'm like, eh, $200.
It's a lot of money.
What year was this?
It's 99, maybe, 98, 99, 97, somewhere in there.
Do you remember what year it became called Mixed Martial Arts?
The whole sport?
I would date that to when Nick Limbaugh got everybody together in New Jersey
and came up with the Unified Rules, which would have been 2000-ish.
And that's when the name sort of started to stick.
But they were calling it that.
Did Big John McCarthy name it?
I have heard a variety of explanations for where the name came from, and I
honestly don't know.
I don't think there's anyone that's definitive.
I'm pretty sure I heard Big John say that he named it.
It was either him or it was Jeff Blatnick.
I've heard Jeff say it, yeah.
More than once, Jeff has said that he coined the term.
I'm going to have to ask Big John because he's up at San Diego with us, so we'll
get back on to see if he claims that.
What is going on in San Diego?
Keurig and myself are up there for a convention.
It's the Association of Athletic Commissions.
It's a blast.
It's all the athletic commissions in the country come together for a year and
drink and just pretty much talk to each other about the issues that are going
on in their ACs.
Well, obviously not for a year.
How long does it go for?
No, sorry, they come together every year.
Once a year?
Yes.
It's like a week event for them.
And they just go over rules and shit like that?
It sounds a little, there's a huge amount of socializing, and it sounds a
little, that's trivializing it.
The thing is the Association of Boxing Commissions was formed by a federal law,
the Muhammad Ali Act, but that law has no teeth.
There's no penalties if you don't pay any attention to suspensions, and just
nothing happens.
So the whole association is basically built on goodwill.
So there's an awful lot of just people getting to know each other and having a
beer, and Chris often acts as a bartender and gets to know people that way.
And it sounds like it's a little trivial just to get to know people, but it's
actually the glue that holds the whole ABC together.
So that's how it holds together, like say if somebody gets banned in, say,
Mississippi, they keep them banned in Massachusetts, things along those lines.
That's it, exactly.
The Muhammad Ali Act says that requires, federal law requires that boxing
commissions share suspension information so you can't get knocked out in Boston,
and then the next weekend go up to New Hampshire and get knocked out again, and
then go to Maine and get knocked out again.
Which used to be a real problem.
Oh yeah, it still is a real problem in places like Mexico.
Mexico doesn't hand out suspension, so guys just literally will, because they're
poor.
Right.
They'll get knocked out every weekend.
And their opponent, you know, everybody's, the way, MMA is built on fair fights
from the beginning, but boxing's built on tomato cans.
And so there's a huge market for fighters that just lose, and they get knocked
out all the time in Mexico.
Right, like that guy that fought Mickey Rourke in Russia.
He has this insane losing record.
And he's homeless somewhere around here, actually.
Yeah, Pasadena.
Guy who lives in the streets, and his job is basically to show up and get
knocked unconscious.
And didn't even do a good job of it.
That was bizarre.
It's bizarre that those things still happen.
Like, did you see the one in Mexico?
The politician that has the fake muscles?
The guy with a huge chest.
Yeah, that was absolutely bizarre.
Have you seen it, Chris?
No, I don't think I've seen it.
You need to see it.
We'll play it for you.
It's a boxing match.
Oh, it's ridiculous.
You kind of call it a boxing match.
It's a guy who has synthol injected into his arms and chest.
Oh, Jesus.
And his shoulders.
You know that synthol stuff?
If you don't know, people are listening to this.
Synthol is something that, I guess, bodybuilders created it.
Because, like, if they had a body part that wasn't sticking out enough, that,
like, wasn't symmetrical.
Like, say, some guys, their calves don't grow very well.
So they would have these big upper body, these big legs, but their calves would
be skinny.
So they would inject this oil into their calves, and it makes your muscles
swell up.
But they're like fake boobs.
They jiggle when you move.
So this guy has it all over his body.
He has it on his shoulders.
He has it on his chest.
He has it on his arms.
And because of that, first of all, his arms are heavy.
It's like he's punching with, like, 10-pound gloves, and the other guy has 8-ounce
gloves.
And this guy is known for having fake fights.
Apparently he has, like, 11 fake fights on his record.
And he's a senator in Mexico.
And he comes from a wealthy family.
The guy on the left, massive plastic surgery all over his face.
His whole face looks like a fucking kabuki mask.
But look, his whole body is, like, fake.
And if you turn it up, Jamie, so we can hear, when the crowd sees him fight,
they start laughing.
Like, really loud.
Like, give us some volume here.
I was like, listen to the crowd.
Oh, yeah, you can hear the laugh.
I mean, get the fuck out of here.
That's like a sketch from Mad TV.
Look at this.
Look at the way he's throwing punches.
It's literally like he's got lead all over his arms because of these goddamn
synthol muscles.
Like, he's carrying pounds of this water stuff, this oil stuff, in his body.
I would fight that guy.
The guy on the left?
Yeah, either one of them, I guess.
It's so crazy.
This guy's a law graduate.
What do you have to do to be a law graduate in Mexico?
Pay the fee?
I don't know.
I mean, maybe you guys might want to suspend that guy if he's still a lawyer.
But, you know, it's so crazy because Mexico is known for its great tradition of
fantastic boxers.
Like, some of the greatest boxers of all time have come out of Mexico.
It's a huge part of their culture.
So, to have this guy do that, this rich guy do that, is so crazy.
But that's always existed.
I believe that was done in the Philippines.
I think Mexican fans would pull that guy from limb to limb if he tried it in
Mexico.
I'm pretty sure that video was shot in the Philippines.
Oh, was it?
Yeah.
Just Mexican fans are very, very, they're like Philly fans.
They know exactly what they're looking at.
It's just interesting you said that because the guys who are talking, they
sound like they have a Filipino accent.
The guys who are speaking English.
I don't know the Filipino accent well at all, but I definitely would defer to
you.
I play a lot of pool, and some of the Filipinos are the great pool players,
some of the best pool players ever from the Philippines.
So, I'm used to the Filipino accent.
The website, you guys started, so you've been around for 20 years now.
We started the site in 98.
So, I thought you said 95.
95, I started buying the URLs.
I think in 96, we had the art of NHB fighting on AOL.
So, if you started in 98, I was a member, I think, in 98.
I think I was a member, like, the first year then.
If not 98, 99.
No, somewhere I've got our first, I think, first 400, and you're definitely on
that list.
I'm one of the first 400, baby.
Woo-hoo!
How many members do you guys have now?
Chris?
Oh, jeez.
Active hundreds of thousands, probably.
Holy shit.
We have half a million accounts, but, you know, those people fall off here and
there, but a lot.
Wow.
We have 1.3 million people that come to our site every month.
That's insane.
And growing, so.
And growing.
Well, it's the best forum, and it's hard to regulate, but you guys have done an
amazing job of keeping the douchebags off,
or at least keeping them at bay, because that's what ruins those places.
It kicks off all the pro fighters.
Like, so many guys used to post there and don't anymore, like Tito and a lot of
other, like Evan Tanner, of course,
is a famous thread that gets bumped up every now and then where Evan Tanner was
saying hello before he died,
and it was cool back then that, like, these guys who were fighting in the UFC
would come on on a regular basis,
but they get run off by these just anonymous shitheads who just say the rudest,
meanest shit to them after they lost or before the fight.
You know, like, I've talked to a bunch of fighters, like, no need to name names,
but even guys like John Fitch, like, I don't go there.
I've got to stay off there, because it fucking fucks up my head.
Like, these guys are assholes.
They're pretty much all assholes.
The problem is...
It's not true.
They're not all.
They're not all assholes, but when we started, it was a small, tight-knit
community of people that were in the sport,
and then, you know, the UFC blows up, so people find us, and now it's a million
people,
and out of those million people, maybe 10,000 are nice, but the rest are just
anonymous douchebags.
I don't really think it's that.
I think it's the opposite.
I think 10,000 are cunts, and the other rest of them are fairly nice.
But the cunts are very vocal.
Like, they're on there all the time, and they just speak up all the time.
Well, it's just, like, they can.
Yep.
I mean, that's the beautiful thing about the Internet.
It's the horrible thing about the Internet.
The beautiful thing about the Internet is anyone can talk, and that's the same
reason why it sucks.
Yeah, that was perfectly put.
It baffled me so much.
I actually went to a psychiatrist to ask him.
There's a psychiatrist who's a friend of family.
I'm like, why do people do that?
And he said, human beings have all sorts of emotional impulses,
and we're constrained by society from acting out on a lot of them.
Maybe you're an unhappy person.
You want to swear at every s