Name: Joe Rogan Experience #679 - Barry Crimmins & Bobcat Goldthwait
Uploaded: 2015-08-07T01:50:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #679 - Barry Crimmins & Bobcat Goldthwait' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-08-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #679 - Barry Crimmins & Bobcat Goldthwait' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-08-07. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #679 - Barry Crimmins & Bobcat Goldthwait

All right, ladies and gentlemen, Bobcat Goldthwait, better known as Bob.
Bob's here, and Barry Crimmins, thank you very much for coming.
I really, really appreciate it.
Hey, Joe, it's great to be here. Where are the drugs?
We got a lot of stuff, but I'm mostly a pot guy, so if you want that, we got
that.
But we got plenty of alcohol. I know you enjoy that, sir.
When I was a kid, when I first started doing stand-up,
you would go on stage and you would pull a Budweiser out of your blazer.
That was part of your jazz.
It was the old open where I'd walk out smoking a cigarette and then pull a beer
out and take a big chug of it
and say, yeah, I'm kind of a health nut.
That was the open.
You know, it was a very fortuitous, just amazing situation to be starting out
in stand-up in 1988 in Boston.
It was such an incredible spot to be in, just total dumb luck where I decided
to do an open mic night.
Dumb luck got me there.
Yeah, dumb luck got you there.
But for folks who don't know, you were one of the reasons why Boston became
what it was.
And you and the community that you sort of established at the Ding Ho was the
legendary community.
When I came along, it was already gone, right?
When did it end?
I think around 83, 84, something like that.
And then I went to Stitches and tried to maintain that.
But then, you know, I mainly became a comedy producer to get stage time.
And knew other comics needed stage time.
And also knew comics needed to be treated like someone when they walked into a
joint.
Because I'd been around the country and been treated like shit.
You stand in line, you know, you have 12 hours since you got in line.
And you get on for three minutes and then they tell you, you can't come back
for three weeks.
And it's like, well, I fucking hitchhiked here and, you know, I was camping out
to do comedy.
And now I can come back in three weeks.
Thanks.
And it's some gruff shithead with a clipboard who's nasty.
So anybody that walked in the ding, I tried to make sure they were treated well
and given a fair chance.
And the thoughts that when we put our shows together, people who feel like they're
somebody are going to act like they're somebody.
And they're going to do a good job.
And, you know, I think the proof is, you know, in the remarkable amount of
great talent that came out of there.
Phenomenal amount.
I mean, it spawned.
Joe Ioza.
No, I'm just naming the open mic comedians.
All the greats.
You still remember?
Lenny the Loser.
Lenny the Loser.
Charlie Gollum.
Joe Ioza.
Like, I owes you a nickel.
Oh, yeah.
And I remember.
He used to pump his arms when he taught.
When he did his acting.
You know, like, it was like.
But he's doing his act.
And the crowd was kind of.
Joe Ioza.
There was this really terrible thing where the crowd.
He's probably listening.
Well, yeah.
I doubt it.
But so the crowd did this really evil thing one night.
Barry's hosting this open mic.
I don't know if you remember this.
And then they start laughing at him instead of with him.
And he thinks he's killing.
And the crowd's going.
It's very evil and very Dada.
So he's having the set of his life not knowing that they're making fun of him.
Barry is upset by this.
And he's like.
He walks out on stage.
He goes.
I know what you're doing.
Now just stop it.
That's not nice.
Well, because I knew that he would keep him.
And so Ioza's like.
Barry, get off the stage.
It's because it's the first time.
And he gets to the point where Barry is.
Barry's laying on the stage going.
All right, John.
Tell your last joke ever at the ding-ho.
Tell your last joke ever.
So, yeah.
So there was.
Well, the problem with those kind of sets is when they get those laughs, those
guys are going to stay in the business like four extra years just based on that
one night.
Because that one set.
There was a set at the Comedy Store where Joey Diaz went behind the stage.
There's a curtain in the original room at the Comedy Store.
And there's this woman who's on stage who's just.
She's whatever.
She doesn't have the gene.
It just doesn't exist.
But she kept trying.
She was always there.
And it was one of those things where she would go on stage at like midnight or
something like that.
And she would mostly clear the room.
But she's on stage.
And Joey goes backstage behind the curtain.
And when she hits her punch lines, he would open the curtain up and his pants
would be down.
So his dick and balls would be hanging out.
And, you know, Joey's 300 pounds.
He's got this giant gut.
And it's hilarious.
So every time she hits her punch line, he opens the curtain and she's smashing
it.
And as the set goes on, she gets more and more confident.
Because she starts to strut a little bit.
And she starts to think, finally, an audience gets my humor.
And she's fucking killing.
I mean, every time.
And the next time she went on stage, she bombed.
And she chastised the audience.
Right.
Telling them that this stuff killed last week.
And we were like, fuck.
She'll never know.
Did she ever catch on?
Did anyone ever tell her?
I don't believe so.
As far as I know, no.
And if you told her, she would never believe you anyway.
She'd just put it in the folder in the back of her head.
Well, that's the thing, you know, that same thing that keeps us going.
What is that?
You know, and there's folks that never have done well and they keep going.
Well, that was that open mic night thing where people would get the phantom
laughs.
Oh, yeah.
People would hear phantom laughs.
Yeah.
That was pretty good.
And you're like, well.
Well, even to this day, this is the thing that kills me.
These kids, you know, they find out about you and they want to, oh, thanks for
what you did for comedy.
Here, I'm going to send you my latest set.
And it's them bombing in front of four people in a fucking pizza shop.
And they say, what do you think of this?
I said, I think whatever money you have, use to buy this up and destroy it.
Are you fucking crazy?
This sucks.
And you've immortalized it.
You know, don't put shitty sets on.
You know, and by the way, kids, when you walk on the stage and no one knows who
the fuck you are,
how about opening with a joke instead of going, hi, how are you?
Like that golden moment when you can fucking take the stage and get somewhere
where they're like, wow, how did you think of that opening?
How about saying something funny and that's maybe pertinent to where you are
that shows you're on the same planet as the audience,
but you're the funny guy.
That's why you're walking on the stage.
Just a suggestion.
Well, Boston has a very low tolerance for fucking meandering on stage.
Yeah, there was no, yeah.
You didn't have a grace period as soon as you came out.
I think this is the best place to develop because of that.
Because you had to come out guns blazing.
You would learn everything else afterwards, but you had to get them.
And if you lost them, like, very few people would start bombing in Boston and
recover.
Like, there was very little recovery.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like, if you got lit on fire in the moments of your, open moments of your
set.
I mean, you could, I would do it for fun sometimes.
But there, yeah.
Just to see, like, let's see what pit we can get out of today.
There'd be a cut man in the corner.
Rich pageant.
I think I did that subconsciously, but it was just shitty planning.
You know, that's what it turned out to be.
Yeah, I wasn't like, that was going poorly, and then he really pulled it up.
It doesn't happen.
It never happens.
Not in Boston.
Man, am I enjoying this interview after, you know, two straight weeks of, like,
can we get up and talk about yourself all day?
Well, also, we were talking, it's, you know, the nature of the movie.
It's, it's, it's.
Oh, I've done it.
I've let us into it.
It's all about.
You fucking moron.
Don't worry about it.
No, but it's.
We'll be fine.
Well, wait, but.
Chipmunk in the beers.
I can give you an example, so.
You know, the movie.
It's called Call Me Lucky.
Call Me Lucky.
I watch it a lot.
Oh.
Uh-oh.
Get him some paper towels.
I'm sorry.
No worries.
There you go.
Sorry.
So, yeah.
A little reminder of my visit, Joe.
Well, it's fresh beer.
It's what happens.
So, yeah, so, Call Me Lucky.
He really doesn't want to talk about it.
He's pouring beer all over the studio.
No, no.
We can, and we can get to it eventually.
I can tell you examples of what went horribly wrong.
You know what I mean?
It's like, we're doing those satellite things, and it's like, you're talking to
Tate and Teabag in El Paso.
Tate and Teabag again.
And so, he's like, it's like, you know, because it's, you know, the movie deals
with Barry.
Talking and dealing with and surviving his childhood rapes.
Childhood rapes, you know, when he was four.
And you could tell these guys are like, well, we talk about rape, but, you know,
we're never serious.
You know, it's really creepy.
Fucking idiots.
It was the worst.
Some people are just not, they just, whatever, they can't, they're just not
capable.
They're talking to people in the morning.
Yeah, they just can't navigate anything that's complicated or serious or
nuanced or really sensitive emotionally.
It's just, some people just don't have the capacity.
They shouldn't.
You know, Ryan Seacrest.
Okay, if you're doing a fucking interview with Ryan Seacrest, it's great if you
want to tell them what color you like.
What's your favorite color?
Line three.
I like red, but sometimes blue.
He's perfect for that.
I'm just kind of in awe of someone like him with an empire because, I mean, but
I don't know what he does.
I mean, I'm not even being negative.
He found a hum.
He found a hum that secretaries tune into.
It's like a whistle that dogs can hear.
And he hit that hum.
It's like a drone.
It never goes too high.
It never goes too low.
And he never says, fuck this world.
What are we doing with that?
Never.
There's none of that.
Yeah, he's not threatening to old ladies and little girls.
I listen to his radio show in awe.
Yeah.
His radio show's amazing.
Really?
For all the wrong reasons.
I mean, he's not a bad guy, by the way.
Met him, did his old show.
Quote Barry, he has to be.
He's just nice.
If you just say that, they'd be a comic.
People would be like, ah, he's a nice guy.
And he'd be like, yeah, he has to be.
I'm funny.
I can afford to be an asshole.
But he's got that market covered.
That bland, white guy, always wears a suit, market cornered.
You know?
He just knows how to nail it.
It doesn't bother me.
It doesn't, because, you know, I did God Bless America.
People think, like, I hate, like, American Idol and all that stuff.
I never really cared about it, you know?
God Bless America.
Yeah.
Your movie was fucking awesome.
Oh, thanks.
Thanks.
And ruthless.
And just ridiculous.
I watched it on a plane, and there's one point in time I had to fucking, like,
do this
with my earphones.
Oh, fucking Jesus.
And then go right back in.
Like, literally, I take the earphones off to talk to you.
Wait till this one hits the plane.
Yeah, well, I saw it.
I saw it last night.
I like you, like, someone leaning over, and there's a baby getting shot with a
shotgun.
It's a crazy fucking movie.
But, you know, you had a point, and you went for it.
I like to say it's a violent movie about kindness, you know?
It really is.
I mean, that's all that Joel's character wants, is people to act right.
Right, yeah.
And it's not, you know, I don't even agree with, I agree with about 90% of the
things that
he's mad about, but, you know, because that clearly wouldn't work, it's not a
good plan.
Yeah.
When I came up in Boston, what I was going to say, when I was talking about you
getting
on stage with the beer bottles, you had this thing that you represented when
you would
go on stage.
This is a guy who stood for something, you know?
And a lot of people didn't, you know?
And I didn't.
We were all just kids.
Well, you're finding your way on the stage first.
I was one of those kids at first, too.
I'm sure, I mean, no need to qualify it, but there was a very distinctive