Name: Joe Rogan Experience #713 - Dave Rubin
Uploaded: 2015-10-27T02:41:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #713 - Dave Rubin' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-10-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #713 - Dave Rubin' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-10-27. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #713 - Dave Rubin

and we're live dave rubin i'm trying to shut this fucker shut that fucking
thing off for two seconds
um we are here to celebrate the fact that chris christie got kicked off of a
quiet train this
morning for talking on his phone while drinking a mcdonald's strawberry shake
and this is the guy
who wants to ban pot how about ban yourself you fucking slob how dare you how
dare he drink a
mcdonald's strawberry shake in public in light of everything not only that
after having a stomach
stapled yeah it didn't really take yeah you know it's supposed to most people
out you can yeah but
you have to do something you think he's doing something like you just keep
eating you just keep
plowing through i know a guy who's blown through two of them he's had it done
twice and blown through
it both times so you actually like tear open the staples like is that i you
know i haven't done any
mris or uh operations on these people i thought we were going to go heavy
medical stuff today but
surgery it's been explained to me dave rubin the skin is flexible and if you
just keep stretching that
bitch out it's clearly when with these people like i have a friend and uh his
friend is a friend of mine
as well but a good friend of his and he was about he's about to go do this and
i said please try to
talk him out of it because you don't need surgery you just need to change your
life yeah because the
surgery is only going to fix the physical aspect of it there's a reason why you're
stuffing all this
sugar and fat and you're just you're addicted to food so you need to find out
what it is what's going
on like so you're talking about the the psychological yeah i think that's where
it's really at i don't
i don't think it is the physical thing i think the physical thing is a
manifestation of the
psychological issue for sure you get physically addicted to to shitty food like
i quit sugar recently
shouldn't say i quit sugar because i had a little this weekend um so i don't i
didn't quit it but i i
removed it from my primary diet and i quit it all together for two weeks yeah
and what happened to me
five days in was really shocking because i had a massive headache like five
days in the cravings were
freaky and my head was killing me and it's like snapples and protein bars and
low-fat milk there's
all this that has sugar in it every granola you think of granola is healthy
yeah and then i would
look at him like 20 grams of sugar in a serving of granola and i usually have
two servings uh-huh
look it's not even sugar what we do we do in america we do high fructose corn
syrup yeah i don't know
have to illuminate you on this but in our coke in our can of coke because it's
cheaper to put corn in
it to sweeten it we're drinking corn instead of sugar that's why people get mexican
cokes yeah you
know what i mean you go to a fancy restaurant here in l.a they give you a mexican
coke because that
has real sugar think how just warped our whole system is the corn thing but we
could do five hours
on corn because corn is you know it's in it's in wallpaper it's in everything
it's amazing and you know
you're trying to get off sugar but what you're really trying to get off is corn
there's definitely
that as well um but i i think um even just simple sugar it's like even like i
read this one thing
it's like uh i forget what the product was but it was one of the ingredients
was pure cane sugar
like you're selling me something amazing well that's pepsi now they pure cane
sugar like holy
sugar it's still sugar but it's still your body doesn't necessarily
differentiate it's still real salt
you know like that's that's how dumb that's how dumb people have become about
food we were talking a
little bit about food before we started but like it's really it's like the most
important stuff what
you put into your body so that then you can function on this earth and yeah and
we're so warped we got
corn instead of sugar even just now so i i told you i drank like 17 coffees
before but i didn't put any
you have stevia and everything i just went straight black nothing i've been
drinking straight black lately too but
uh it's actually you know uh i think this guy peter giuliano on at one point
who's a real coffee expert
and uh when you talk to a guy like that and you talk about putting cream in the
coffee you can see
his face like oh what are you doing yeah like to him it's it's a sacrilege
almost so what would he say
to drink it what's the best black just black that's it yeah and i've been
drinking it black i actually
prefer it um what in a method that this guy rob wolf created which is you mix
it with grass-fed
butter i was doing mct oil the problem is for a podcast that gives me phlegm
and i start
in the middle it's annoying as for people that are listening but it's pretty
delicious it's very good
yeah i still do that but i just don't do it before a podcast anymore so i did
it i did it for about six
months i was doing the grass-fed butter and coconut oil just like a teaspoon of
coconut oil and it's
amazing and you feel great and it's delicious and all that but i did over the
course about six months i
probably gained like eight pounds from all the butter it's it's a lot of
calories to be plowing in the
morning but it does do some good things i think it has something to do with how
the caffeine actually
ingests into your body it slows it down so you don't get that like burst of
energy and crash and all
that which was all great but you know eight pounds in six months that is a lot
to gain for most people
it dulls their appetite didn't dull your appetite um no not really i don't give
up i live in west
hollywood i there's a certain amount of working out i have to do not not joel
rogan level but you know
uh it's uh just to stay in the neighborhood just certain amount have you ever
walked down like
santa monica in the middle of west hollywood i live in the gayest place on
earth i've never seen
so many daisy dukes it is it really spot well first off i'm considered morbidly
obese by these
people's standards because they they starve them i don't understand people
listening dave rubens a very slim man
yeah yeah if you're just listening slender and fit um the thing is these guys
you know it's the gayest
place on earth and these guys work on their bodies all day long you should not
be carrying a dog they
carry their dogs these opsalopses and all these other your bicep shouldn't be
bigger than your dog
you know what i mean that just shouldn't be and you shouldn't be carrying i i
have a pit bull she's not
you know my biceps not bigger than her i think that's a healthy way to do it
but yeah in west hollywood
these guys they i don't know how do you starve yourself and have huge muscles i
just know it's
all steroids it's steroids that certainly helps yeah um you can there's there's
some stuff that uh
fighters have been caught with that uh i think it's called there's one called
clenbutrol
and another called stenosanol i think and the idea really good for you that
stuff the clen i think is
supposed to like really just lean you out it's a bodybuilder thing and the stenosanol
allows you to
keep mass on or helps you assist you in keeping mass on when you cut weight so
for fighters that are
trying to be like the biggest in their weight class right they're dehydrating
themselves but they want to
keep as much muscle mass as possible that can't be good for long-term health
right so bad for your body
i mean i i see it with these guys and it's like you know they're doing this
just so that they can get
somebody that has a better body than them so they can and then they move on to
the next one it's like this
endless game you know what i mean like i got a hot body he's got a hot body i'll
him now i moved it
like it's just this you're climbing this ladder yeah it's like icarus you know
what i mean you're
just going up and up and up but one day this thing is just going to blow up in
your face
yeah but you know that could be a sex if you look at life though like life is
this temporary trip
right you have maybe
50 years of people actually wanting to have sex with you right yeah if you're
so lucky you take
care of everything so that's like from 18 to like when you're closing in on 70
everybody who
you is just doing new charity and that's the saddest that's the saddest these
these you i see this these
overly tanned hair plugged guys that are 70 years old and they're still at the
gym hoping that that 28
year old is looking at them and instead they're staring at everyone and gawking
at them horribly
it's all gross it's really sad and we can get into this a little later but it
also shows me
why the the gay marriage thing was so important because these are i actually
have a lot of empathy
for these people although i can you know it's easy to make fun of but like if
you couldn't ever enter
a relationship that then is you're going to build like what you have with your
wife where you can build
a life you know right and you can have kids and move forward in life well then
if all you have
is just fucking you just keep doing it you know as many guys as possible
rotations different ones
texting you all day long trying to put it together yeah i mean trying to figure
out when you can squeeze
the time in you know and it i get exactly and i guess it's you know it feels
good in the moment yeah
but for the long-term health of just like what being human is not so great but
i think you know
interestingly interestingly enough if you look at the perspective of like a
full long life like
it's just a bunch of moments it's just like trying to maintain happiness at a
certain level as much
as possible and you could be chris christie where you're addicted to mcdonald
shakes and being a fat
slob doesn't have an advisor no isn't there an advisor too much ego he doesn't
listen yeah or you know you
could try to fill yourself up with that and you know be married and have kids
and you know and have that
part of your life achieve normalcy or you can do the super tan roided up dick
sucking rampage that
those guys that work out at like yeah gold gold's gym on coal do you know that
that spot i don't know
that one but dude when i was on news radio yeah um i we used to work out uh we
used to work at sunset
and gower that was the studio yeah and gold's gym was right down the street so
sometimes we'd have off
like two hours during the middle of the day where they had to rewrite scripts
or stuff like that so
i'd just shoot over to gold's get a workout in and come back but it is the gayest
gym it's not it's
it's a ferocious disco is what it is it's just a bunch of men with scrunchy
socks on and timberlands
and like super short shorts and just the tightest tank tops and you walk in
there like a wounded
antelope just gingerly stepping close to the water hole but how did you feel
there because you're in
good shape i felt but you're in good shape right like you care about your body
right you're doing
the right things but you go in there and you see these guys and you you does it
completely like oh
fuck like i'm a fat fuck no it wasn't that at all i was i was in my 20s when i
was doing that this
was when i was on news radio but i was i was being targeted yeah like that was
the problem like guys
yeah like you could have 20 pounds on the bar guys like i'll spot you like i
don't need to spot dude
just get your balls from above my head yeah like they would literally you'd be
on the bench and dudes
would just put their dick above your head to grab the bar they just wanted
their dick in proximity with
your face you know like when you're doing bench press they can literally bench
press with their
cocks i bet they can yeah this is pre-viagra too you gotta think because this
was in the 90s these
poor bastards were going on the natch yeah and when it and when it went bad
then they had cock pumps
and there was a liberace movie with um michael douglas like he had some sort of
behind the candelabra
yeah yeah they have they used to have implants i 