Name: Joe Rogan Experience #717 - Steve-O
Uploaded: 2015-11-04T04:21:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #717 - Steve-O' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-11-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #717 - Steve-O' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-11-04. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #717 - Steve-O

gentlemen we're live yeah dude steve-o ladies and gentlemen brian redband in
the house uh steve-o
preparing himself for his long stretch in the pokey from mocking sea world
openly uh on top of
a very dangerous sign dude there's a video of you you were streaming live while
you you fucked with
the sea world sign would you write well i had two different ones i had the
highway sign where i
changed it to say sea world sucks and then there's the the one where i climbed
up the 150 foot tall
crane okay i think both of them made me shit my pants one of them we were
watching it brian and i
were watching it and my toes were curling oh no you were watching it live
lifting up yeah we were
watching it at one point weren't we watching it live oh no it was when we were
in sea world when you
or i mean san diego and you were doing the sign one and it's when you're
climbing up the sign and
i kept landing on my head yeah oh dude yeah how did you live i don't know man
that would seem that
one made sense like fall that was like appropriate it was right there down in
san diego near sea world
the highway sign said sea world drive and i changed it to say sea world sucks i
guess it was appropriate
my crane one was completely fucking idiotic there's a it's like okay let me
protest sea world at some
random construction site nowhere fucking near sea world you know let me fucking
bring an inflatable
killer whale like a toy whale climb up 150 foot crane when you're 150 feet up
in the air nobody no one's
gonna be able to see your fucking toy whale you know it's so dumb what's that
dot right yeah steve-o and
a dot i know that nobody could even tell it's right by the time i get up there
i got 80 firefighters 18
cops a helicopter and a swat team i'm like the problem with that stuff is if
something real was going down
and they had put all the resources trust me i get it yeah that's why i'm going
to jail
how long you go to jail i have a 30-day sentence but i don't think i'll like i
don't think i think they automatically
cut it in half and then maybe even get out even quicker uh how does that work i
didn't necessarily
have to go to jail at all like i asked my my lawyer to get me jail time
specifically because
my fucking crane stunt was so idiotic uh i was like man i gotta go to jail that
would be the only
one tiny little part of it that makes any sense at all
because like if you're trying to make a statement about captivity right you
know right put yourself in
captivity right that's the whole deal so i asked for it and and um so you asked
for jail like you could
have gotten out of jail i'm sure i could i could have done like community
service like uh you know
whatever like i was like no dude because i'm a fucking intention whore so like
i'm like dude like
like scrubbing graffiti that's not a cool story like going to jail that's a
headline you know like i'm
gonna get fucking i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna get you know steve was going to
jail that's a
fucking that's newsworthy that's so ridiculous yeah welcome to my world did you
see that
did you say that to the to the judge well not never even had to go to court
because uh you know like
they all they all worked it out so um they kept postponing my my arraignment
and when uh you know
by the time that like the prosecutor and my lawyer finally worked out a deal
then when the arraignment
was back on they said hey we reached a deal and then they closed it all down
have you been to jail before sure
i've got i've got the most hilarious criminal record ever dude like uh what was
the first time the
first time uh i was like 16 or 17 like going to high school in england and just
got nailed with some
weed you went to jail in another country oh i've been in jail in like five
countries really what's the
scariest country maybe not five but i've been see canada england america sweden
and i'm not counting
mexico because that was more of a catch and release like you're a fly fishing
with no barb
right what would happen in mexico ah it was like i was uh you know like blacking
out on special k
you know like ketamine and i was like climbing on this roof and like i kind of
like fell off of it and
and uh i don't know they just grabbed me and like detained me oh so it was not
yeah yeah yeah
i mean i wasn't like uh yeah but but it was pretty scary i mean it was like it
was legit when you're
in when you're in mexico like that's you know you can vanish yeah people yeah
like a lot of people
vanish right they can't find that el chapo guy they're not gonna find no
apparently they were closing
in on him and he fell and broke his leg and he was carried off by his guards
wow yeah apparently they were
they're close they keep closing in on them right but that's like a a good
disappear right for that guy
he's psyched to disappear most people disappear in mexico are totally not psyched
that's a very good
point yeah people vanish in mexico like those students like the 43 students
that were murdered
it's just scary right so when you were in mexico when you would you sober up in
jail did you like
realize what had happened no like uh i mean i don't know i mean i guess like uh
it all just like kind
of worked out it wasn't it wasn't a big deal you know um they they let me go
but uh they just kicked
a big job yeah in sweden i was in like properly in jail for five days like um
for international drug
smuggling what did you bring in well what i did i was videotaping it and uh um
i was in norway
and i put a bunch of weed into a condom i tied it in a knot and swallowed it choked
on it i was like
peeking up blood trying to get it out oh my god yeah it's all it's all it's all
it's all on video
so then i flew from norway to sweden so that it would you know you put it on
video oh yeah yeah
totally and then like put it on the internet well yeah i mean later you know
later but um so how'd they
guess i swallowed it in norway and got in an airplane to sweden so that so that
way i'm crossing
international lines you know to qualify as an international drug smuggler then
when i got to sweden
you know i had my i was promoting my tour every interview like they're they say
like oh yeah how
you doing and they said wow man i think i might die of intestinal strangulation
because i swallowed
this big package of drugs and it won't come out you know because it took days
it didn't come out for
like six and a half days so this says so every like like a reporter like wrote
their article or whatever
it was and the cops were at the newspaper and so then they like they uh they
arrested me like after i
shit it out and uh and they took me to the jail and and um you know like uh
they brought me into the
from the jail to the hospital put me in this like cat scan machine which
revealed they said a foreign
object in my body i still don't know what what that was and uh they kept me in
a cell for five days
shitting into uh plastic bags they're digging through my shit yeah and like uh
and then and then after
five days in there they brought me back to the hospital for another like scan
and it showed that
like the foreign object had only moved like three centimeters like my body and
so like they were like
oh it and they just had me pay a fine and go you don't even know what it is i
don't know uh i don't know
they said it was like uh like a key i don't know they said it was like sharp
and and i don't know it was
sharp yeah i don't i really don't know what it was maybe they're even bullshitting
but it might be
still in there it's been over 10 years so did you ever get yourself looked at
again no i don't want an update
where's my friend yeah where is he i didn't i didn't even really care that much
but uh yeah sweden that
was wild man and again i was super psyched because i knew i was on that little
scrolling
fucking thing on cnn at the bottom so you were psyched for that well yeah i
mean i thought i might
because okay now that when they brought me to the station initially like they
they put my backpack on the
table and they reached into it like the first pocket they reached into the
first thing they pulled out
was a fucking ecstasy pill like that like with a fucking like it had it had a
print like an imprint
of a smiley face on it you know oh god and i didn't even remember it being in
there i'm like
fuck i didn't know that was in there and then i thought man maybe i'll be in sweden
for a while
but uh turns out the ecstasy wasn't even like that you know they weren't even
that bent out of
shape over ecstasy they're more pissed about weed over there really yeah i don't
know why just like
one of those weird country things well because weed like uh they think it makes
you lazy i think and
they're not cool that's how it is in asia what you know i think i think you
know they're like you
know this like that makes you lazy and and and we're not fucking lazy people
and so they want to really
punish you that really frustrates me that that stereotype with weed making you
lazy that that drives me
crazy that is the one that drives me the most nuts you're lazy you're lazy we
does not make you
fucking lazy it just doesn't i'm not lazy it drives me nuts i was never lazy
man when i was loaded
no my longest time in jail uh well you know like i got i was i was in l.a
county jail for five days
one time i got arrested for um felony obscenity and uh principal at a second
degree battery in
louisiana whoa yeah because it was like i was doing my old show what does that
mean principal to it means
that i i i i arranged like an assault
what the fuck happened well what happened was like i was doing my old show and
um you know part
of it was i was chugging out of a tequila bottle like throughout the whole
thing and i'd like you
know whatever like yeah i had the tequila bottle at the edge of the stage and
um you know some kid like
climbed on the stage and grabbed the bottle and i see these bouncers come over
and just neutralize it
you know and i'm like damn these guys are good these fucking bouncers are are
pro so as i said who
wants to get on this stage and try to run from one side of the stage to the
other past the bouncers you
know it's british bulldog we'll play british bulldog and these guys are gonna
you up
so this like one kid who's like this bony little skinny little 19 year old kid
was like jumping up and down like pointing at himself he was just so he wanted
it so bad
and i couldn't like i had to pick him so i picked this kid and he ran uh he
just ran you know i'm
videoing it myself i said one two three go you know the kid like runs halfway
across the stage and
they just grabbed him it was totally anticlimactic and these three like
football player the college
football player bouncers like they just lifted him up like in unison like over
their heads and like just
spiked the kid on his head on this oh no and he was like twitching and and like
you know i don't
think the police report said he was bleeding out of an ear or something like
and uh and and it was
really fucked up you know why did they do that when they knew that he was gonna
run across i don't
i don't know i never said slam him on his head you know i i'd said that maybe
but uh but yeah and so
like you know in my mind i'm thinking oh dude this is such a lawsuit like this
is this is bad you
know so that's so funny you're not thinking oh my god this poor kid's dying you're
thinking illegal fees
right that that too but like whatever it was it was just all bad you know it
was all bad in in my
head like the mantra the show must go on like pretend it's not bad and just
continue so i'm like i i was
like what the fuck on the video and somebody in the crowd was uh had a home
video camera rolling on and
this was like what was it 2002 so like i mean this is before they had cameras
on cell phones
and someone's got like a like vhs home video camera and um on on the tape which
they turned
over they were like that's a crime so they turned it over to the cops or they
escaped to the newspaper
and the newspaper gave it to the co