Name: Joe Rogan Experience #727 - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2015-11-25T03:04:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #727 - Bill Burr' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-11-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #727 - Bill Burr' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-11-25. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #727 - Bill Burr

Porture him on his show.
And we're live.
This is what I love about Bill Burr.
You're not like a regular comedian.
I mean, you're a great comic, but you do shit.
You do a lot of shit.
You don't just sit around and get lazy and fuck off.
C-A-D-D.
You make cakes.
You made pie, homemade pie from scratch.
Bill Burr brought in pumpkin pie that I can't wait to dig into.
It smells fucking fantastic.
That's a pumpkin pie, that's a cream pie, and an apple pie.
It really smells fucking awesome.
Oh, yeah.
It's a butter-based crust.
I switched over.
I switched over.
My parents, the one that we grew up on was shortening, like Crisco.
Right.
And I thought it had too much salt in it and stuff.
So when I bought the big green egg, which is this insane thing that it's
impossible to fuck up on.
Yeah, I'm actually learning how to smoke me.
This guy's been helping me out, and I've just been on the road, so I'm going to
try starting back up again this month.
I came with this giant cookbook.
I made this turkey pot pie and everything that tasted fucking insane.
From scratch.
Yeah, but the crust is on the one from the big green egg is the recipe that I
use, which is two scoops of flour, an eighth of a teaspoon of salt, and then it's
like a whole stick of butter.
And then there's a little bit of shortening, like the Crisco shit in there, but
so it's not like mine was, it was too greasy, too salty.
This one is like that flaky, fucking awesome crust, and yeah, it's the best.
So you're like, you're like a chef.
You're like actively cooking.
It's like a regular thing for you.
A baker.
Oh, Bill Baker.
Yeah.
I like it.
I like degrees of difficulty, and I actually learned a lot back when the Food
Network was awesome.
Like the Food Network is going on the same trajectory that MTV went on.
You know what I mean?
Like it started off MTV, it was music videos, and then now I don't even know
what the fuck it is.
It's teenage pregnancy.
There's no music on it anymore.
The Food Network used to be top chefs teaching you how to cook.
Now it's a lot of just, you know, they're fighting, they're competing with each
other.
Like I don't even know what goes on in this.
And it's a lot more personality driven.
Like that diners driving and dives guy, you know what I mean?
I don't know what that is.
What is that?
He just, you know, he drives around to these greasy spoons, and he lets you
know what's up.
But dude, the guy's restaurants get horrific fucking reviews.
Like just, like one of the most epic slams of any fucking restaurant that
opened was-
Oh, Guy Fieri.
Yeah.
Yeah, that guy.
Yeah, that guy.
So like they went more in that direction where they went from guys just knowing
how to cook to like Guy Fieri.
He's got a look.
He's got bleach blonde hair.
He wears his sunglasses backwards.
We have him drive around in the car.
I'm not really shitting on the guy, but they went more like that.
And they tried to like, you know, oh, and this is okay.
So Rachel Ray pops up.
Okay, we got to find another one of those.
You know, it was really sad to watch because I used to just watch Molto Mario
was my favorite.
And he would just be in a kitchen and he would just-
I don't know who's any of these people.
I heard of the Guy Fieri guy.
I met him.
He's a beast.
Really?
Oh, he's a beast.
He's a cooking beast.
Dude, this guy would be like, I'm trying to compare him to a fighter.
John Jones?
He'd be like someone who held the belt for a while.
You know what I mean?
Like the Anderson Silva of cooking?
I would say that.
Or maybe JP-
What is his name?
I'm not good with the fighters.
George St. Pierre?
George St. Pierre.
Yeah.
The GSP of cooking.
Wow.
Although he was early on.
So I think maybe he's more like those guys when it was literally Taekwondo
versus a boxer.
Oh.
He came on early.
Okay.
So-
There he is.
That's the guy?
Yeah.
So you would-
It's an unfortunate picture.
But you would-
It's just to highlight his mole.
Yeah.
He's-
So he used to have the show Molto Mario and it was just him in his kitchen.
It was him in his kitchen.
And he'd-
Oh, God.
He needs somebody to take better pictures though.
The sausage around the neck's a great look.
Yeah.
It's supposed to look like a scarf.
I don't know.
So he would just have people over in his kitchen and he would make authentic
from scratch just Italian meals.
And he went over to Italy, learned how to cook.
He can tell you about all the different parts of Italy and the rivalries that
they have over there with their food.
That's why Italians are the greatest fucking cookers ever because like they get
upset with shit like sauces and stuff the way other people kill each other over
like their football team.
You know what I mean?
Like they just don't-
Oh, this part doesn't do it right.
This is the way we do it.
And I learned- I just watched him making these meals and it would be like he
would- each little part of the meal would have like three or four ingredients
and then however he was getting it going and then it would all come together.
And he would just be shooting the shit, talking about Italy as he made his
friends a meal, which is the greatest thing you could ever fucking do.
It was cook for somebody, I think.
One of the greatest.
So it was just a simple show.
I used to come on at like noontime.
I watched it every fucking day.
I would wake up after doing spots late at the cellar and all that.
I mean, Rebecca, I was living with like- it was after I lived with Bobby Kelly,
but, you know, we'd stay out late and shit.
And I would sleep till like fucking 11 and I would wake up and rather than
watching like The Price is Right or some shit, I would just pop that on.
And I don't know, just watching him was interesting and then I learned- I just
learned how to cook, you know, making fucking pasta from scratch, his well
method.
You make pasta from scratch?
It's not hard, dude.
Really?
So you do the flour, the eggs, everything?
It's having the balls to just allow yourself to fuck it up.
Going like, I'm going to fuck this up.
Like I made a key lime pie and I fucked it up because they want a little bit of
the- I think it's called the rind, which is just a little bit like the zest of
the lime.
And I didn't know what I was doing and I went too deep and I got to the white
part and that's when it gets bitter and it fucked the whole pie up.
So I was like, ah, fuck it, I had to throw the thing out.
But then, you know, it's anything.
You just fuck it up and then fix it.
It's like, if I had the time, you know, I would learn how to rebuild an engine
on a car.
I love watching those fucking shows.
But like, and I've always thought like, you know, I'm going to buy like a
fucking 82 Chevy Citation.
Just some fucking hunk of shit.
Start with that.
Yeah, well, just because I don't give a fuck about it and you can screw up on
that.
Like, I try to learn how to rebuild a carburetor and rather than doing the one
on my truck, the 68 F100, I bought the same carburetor off of eBay that was
fixed and I just took it apart and then tried putting it back together.
I fucked it up.
That's still something that bugs me.
It's sitting in my garage like in pieces, but like-
Now, do you take lessons or do you just try to figure it out on your own?
Dude, YouTube.
Just YouTube.
Drum lessons, I take those, but like YouTube and shit, like there's certain
things.
Like, I would take a cooking class or something, but with my fucking ADD, like
the internet is perfect.
You can shut it off when you want.
Yeah, I can read about the Illuminati and then I'm learning how to make a pie
and then I'm watching a bear fight an eagle.
Just like, like fucking the internet was made for fucking ADD psychos like me
and I just will literally just fly through all of this, all of that stuff.
And I've learned to, like, I didn't think I had ADD, then my wife said I had it,
and then there was that whole, well, should you fucking, you know, do something
about this?
And I just really realized that I just got to learn how to make it work for me.
So what I always have is I always have like nine things going at once, you know
what I mean?
Playing drums, learning how to play a helicopter and make a pie from scratch.
But the over the thing is the fucking comedy.
But the thing is, is doing all of that and fucking up and failing and all the
people that I meet in these different parts, you know, hobbies and shit ends up
informing like characters and shit or points of view and stuff like, you know.
Like shit I used to buy into that, you know, the flyover states, people down
the south, down south are dumb, all that stupid shit that people on the coast
thing.
And then you go there, you're like, wait a minute, these people are fucking
cool.
They're doing different things, so that's how I got into like barbecue and
smoking and stuff.
So like when I go on the road, I try to do that when in Rome thing.
It's different now than I think when we were kids.
When we were kids, I think that was more applicable, but the internet has
informed more people and sort of educated people in a way.
There's cool people everywhere now.
Yeah, but it also, it depends on how you use any information you get.
Like if you, if you just wanted to reinforce it, like the joke I always do in
my act is everybody just goes to I'm right.com and just reads a bunch of facts
and then just throws it at people.
But I mean, I'm guilty of that too, but I don't know.
I have faith, but like watching the kinds of people that have been coming out
of the woodwork in this, this latest election, you know, a couple of those guys
like watching.
Ted Cruz?
No, just watching like, I would say, what's his face there, Donald Trump, the
way he bullies the media and what pussies they are, how they just back down.
They really just back down.
All you got to do, every now and then you just got to give him shit back.
He just like gives him shit and they just, they fucking sit there and take it.
At first it was funny to me because I used to love watching Bill Parcells was
one of my favorites to watch when he, when he would do coach of the Giants and
Patriots, Cowboys bunch, bunch of places he was at.
But he would, in his press conferences, if you asked him a stupid question, he
would tear your fucking head off in such a perfect way that everybody else in
the room was like, oh shit, I'm not asking him this one.
I got to make sure I'm on my game.
Like, and he took charge of it because I, that's one of the ones where I'm
rooting for the guy because I feel like this is a bunch of nerds who maybe they,
they played varsity fucking baseball.
Just, you know, you know, the way they come at him, like, well, why'd you do
this?
You know, now that they know the result was something bad.
I like when he's giving him shit, but like, um, I just, you know, some of the
shit that just watching him, um, I liked that he's going back at him, but the
way that they, they just are backing off him.
Like, oh, I didn't know he was going to make me look stupid.
They just like implode.
Like he sat there and went, it was fucking hilarious.
He was in that first Republican debate.
They were going, you said this about women.
You said that about women.
You said this about women.
He goes, nah, he goes, I said that about Rosie O'Donnell and it got a huge
laugh.
She goes, no, you've said that about other blah, blah, blah, blah, the women.
And he just goes, Hey, probably right.
And then that was it.
And it just went away.
And I think like, he's, he's really, it's, it's fascinating.
He's like exposing, uh, you know, that, I don't know.
It's like that wizard of Oz thing that there's just a little guy behind.
They just have the one question and they're waiting for you to stammer.
And if you kind of throw the, hit the ball back in their court, I just don't
think they're
ready for it.
I don't think they're not ready for that kind of a personality in politics.
I don't, but like some of the, the, the racist people and shit that, you know,
that whatever
the fuck was going on in that conference 