Name: Joe Rogan Experience #736 - Brendan Schaub & Bryan Callen
Uploaded: 2015-12-15T03:14:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #736 - Brendan Schaub & Bryan Callen' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-12-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #736 - Brendan Schaub & Bryan Callen' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-12-15. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #736 - Brendan Schaub & Bryan Callen

Propecia is bad for your dick.
For your wang, for your dick.
It's probably bad for a lot of things.
You know what else is bad for?
For me, at least, personally?
My experience, when I got off of it, my endurance, like, upped.
Really?
Yeah.
So you don't say that shit to me now?
My strength, like, I felt stronger.
Like, I felt, like, physically better.
Like, I would get tired when I was on it.
Yeah.
I heard there's terrible side effects.
Ari Shafir experienced severe depression from Propecia
and didn't put the two and two together until after he got off of it.
And he had, like, bad depression.
And he realized, like, oh, my God, it all started when I started taking Propecia.
I heard it messes with your sex drive, too, your dick.
I've got to be honest with you guys.
It killed my dick like a bullet.
I'll be honest with you guys.
I take it all the time, and my dick is always hard.
Hard right now.
You're amazing.
I am.
As you always like to say, it's not testosterone.
I'm just a pervert.
I mean, Brian always tells me,
dude, I think my testosterone is too high.
Like, look at your body.
You're built like this.
This is you.
Dude, I took my shirt off.
Don't ever say.
You know what happened to you when I took my shirt off?
You went like this.
You go, you held it in, but you went like this.
You went immediately.
You think I shuddered?
You went, and then you were like, oh, you need to get in better shape.
Like, if I was a woman, I would be excited.
Yes.
You guys did have a pose off.
We had a pose off just now.
Two 48-year-old losers posing off.
Fucking literally.
I'm on my phone, Joe goes, Shabby, look at this.
We were making you judge us.
Making you judge us.
You guys are both my friends?
No, both of you look great.
About who looks younger.
Didn't you think at some point in time you were going to grow up?
I always assumed that this would not be funny for me.
Yeah.
Like, you would come up with my time where I wouldn't be with my friends going,
Of course.
Of course.
Being retarded.
I loved it.
It never ends.
Will we be like 80 in doing this?
I think so.
I think we'll always be attracted to round, soft surfaces, fightings, any kind
of penetration,
and it'll get our attention always.
Like, what happened?
The guy punched him in the face?
Well, listen to this crazy shit.
Dana White told me that the guy who invented Regenikine, Peter Welling, is that
his name
is, in Germany?
I forget his name.
Dusseldorf, Germany.
Dusseldorf.
This is the one that Kobe Bryant, all those guys are flying out to Germany to
this Regenikine
procedure that regenerates, amazing anti-inflammatory properties.
He's figured out a way to regenerate collagen with an injection.
With an injection, your body starts regenerating its own collagen like a 20-year-old.
Damn.
And he's saying wrinkles will just go away.
Your skin will just tighten up.
You are going to look like a much younger person.
And this is all within, like, the next year.
Really?
Yep.
Congrats, Callan.
I don't need it.
Look at my face.
You're beautiful.
So tight.
They're on the brink of doing this.
Man.
They're that close.
Like, they're setting up the infrastructure, and they're getting ready to roll
with this
stuff.
And when they do.
I'm trying to invest in that shit right now.
Oh, hell yeah.
When they do, it's going to be fucking bonkers, man.
That's pretty wild, man.
You're going to see Barbara Walters looking hot.
It's fucked.
I know, but every time I.
It's true.
They are doing crazy stuff with tissue regeneration.
Well, I wonder when they're going to be able to do that to backs.
Because people that have, like, really fucked.
Like, I ran into my friend Alder.
He's one of Andy Bravo's black belts last night.
He told me he hasn't been able to.
I haven't seen him in a while.
He told me he hasn't been able to do jiu-jitsu in two years.
His back has been fucked up.
And it just doesn't get better.
Disc?
Yeah.
All this stuff?
Yeah, definitely.
Well, I'm doing a.
It's just disc degeneration, you know?
There are two girls I know who are in wheelchairs, you know?
And they are going.
Is it from your dick?
It's from my dick.
It's from my dick.
You dicked them down?
They're both actually super attractive, I have to be honest.
And I'd be lying if I said I didn't have thoughts.
So you're talking about spinal injuries, not discs.
Yeah.
And, you know, obviously there's a long way to go before that.
But there's a guy in San Diego, a doctor, who I guess works with electrical
pulses.
And he has had some success in sort of, he shoots an electrical sort of, I don't
know, pulse.
Sounds like a false hope.
No, in some cases, it's given some feeling back on their legs and stuff.
So it's promising.
But I think we're a long way.
A hundred years from now, they're going to fix all that stuff.
Yeah.
They just can't figure out how to regenerate spinal tissue.
They can't figure out how to connect.
Once your core is severed, they can't do anything about it.
But they're very hopeful.
They're doing it with penises.
I mean, you're able to transplant a penis.
Not only did the guy, they transplanted his penis and he got his girlfriend
pregnant.
Wow.
That's right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Crazy.
Well, the hardest thing for so many veterans is when they get their legs blown
off, the first
thing this doctor was saying, the first thing young men say is, what's going on
with my dick?
Of course.
And of course.
And it's so devastating.
It's such a devastating wound.
And one of the things that they were trying to get money for it, and they were
like, look,
the legs are more important.
And he said, you have no idea what you're talking about.
Mentally, for a young man, when he gets an injury to his groin, that's fucking
more devastating
than almost anything else.
It's pretty devastating.
Also, when your dick gets blown off with your balls, you don't have
testosterone anymore.
So, it's, obviously, there's a lot to say about that, the horrors of war.
Yeah.
The idea that you can just figure out how to fix bodies to the point where
anything that's
broken can just get repaired.
You know, think about like 100, 500 years ago, if you got a broken leg, like
500 years
ago.
Yeah.
You're a dead man.
Yeah.
We're going to have to put you down.
The thing is, you know, the one thing they can't figure out how to help?
Your brain.
It's the only thing they can't figure out.
Everything else, you're good.
I feel like, why don't they just drill a hole and shoot some stem cells in
there?
I don't know, man.
This CRISPR-Cas9 is fucking incredible.
That's the new frontier.
And in 10 years, we're going to be literally taking your DNA and putting a gene
in the area.
Apparently, just shooting a gene in the area of that when they snip your DNA.
There's this whole, you know how it works.
It's kind of wild.
There's a great Radiolab podcast on CRISPR.
I listened to it twice so I could figure out what they were saying.
You know what the con is to all this, though, is all this advancement in
medical and all that stuff.
And we're fixing everyone.
Everything's going to get overpopulated, right?
People are going to stop dying off so fast.
There will always be plain old death.
I think the biggest question is how do you...
True, but the average life is going to be way longer.
It's already increasing.
Also, how do you pay for...
There are certain cancer treatments that are $1,000 a pill.
I mean, you can cure hep C now, and it's $1,000 a pill.
It'll cost you $84,000, but you'll cure it.
You will cure it.
Is that for sure?
Hep C is a curable disease.
It's no longer a manageable disease.
It used to be really hard.
You'd have to take interferon, which would only work on Northern Europeans.
The look on Brendan Schaub's face is he can still fuck Pamela Anderson now.
That's a good idea.
It's like, whoa.
Hold on.
With the collagen and the new titties...
Sign me up, son.
I can do it.
Isn't that crazy, though?
We've got to get her to do squats.
No ass at all.
No ass at all.
Nothing.
Who?
Pamela Anderson.
I worked with her.
She had an ass.
Easy.
When did you work with her?
I did Stacked, the great TV show Stacked.
Was that in the 60s?
It may as well have been.
Stacked.
She was 14.
She was 38.
Still very hot.
How old is she now, though?
And had Hep C at the time.
So you're talking about at least 10 years ago, right?
Yeah, about 10 years ago.
Bro, I saw Sydney Crawford when I was coming out of yoga in Santa Monica.
She is jaw-dropping gorgeous.
She's beautiful.
I had a long conversation with her and her husband, like six months ago, at a
party.
Dude.
Yeah, she's hot as fuck, and she's like 50.
Yes.
51, something like that.
I love it.
She keeps it up, baby.
Have you seen Christy Brinkley?
Yes.
62.
Have you seen her?
No.
Looks hot as fuck.
Really?
She might be the hottest older lady of all time.
Oh, no, she is the hottest older lady of all time.
Well, Raquel Welch.
I saw Raquel Welch when she was in her 60s, and a straight-up dime piece.
Oh, yeah.
Some women are beautiful their whole fucking life.
They can hang in there.
Very rare.
They can hang in there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very rare.
It's fucking rare.
Super rare.
You know how much effort it must take to keep that up?
I mean, it's a job.
You don't think it's genetics?
It's probably that, too, but also effort.
I don't think there's any woman who looks that fantastic that doesn't do
something.
Like, either they have fillers on their face, or they work out like a fucking
demon, which
is mandatory, or they go to—they have to.
Yeah.
They have to.
They probably do cryogenics.
Like, that's Christy Brinkley.
She's 62.
That's nuts.
My mom is very similar in age.
I would take her out on a date right now.
I would go on a date with her 62-year-old house right now.
And that's not even a good picture because, like, the sun's behind her, her
face is in
the shade.
Like, she's legitimately high-definition beautiful.
That's crazy.
Mm-hmm.
She might fall apart, though, when you get in the sack.
You know what I'm saying?
Well—
She's like, bones.
She probably just sleeps all the time.
Just like a vampire.
She's just constantly regenerating.
Don't touch me, bitch.
You don't touch me.
It's filled with blood.
I started noticing, like, for me, like, about four years ago, maybe three years
ago, like,
I noticed that girls just didn't look at me the same when I'd come off stage.
Like, I mean, I talk about my wife and stuff, but when you, as a young man,
like, you're
doing stand-up, you would always have some female attention.
It's dried up.
Dried down quite a bit.
Dried up.
Dried up a little bit.
The group, you're older?
I'm old, guy.
That's good.
Well, now I'm 48.
Now, if a girl who is 20 and she were to sleep with me, I'm sure, like, we were
talking
about it, her friends would probably be like, how old?
Ew.
For sure.
Yeah.
Your fans now are more interested in bingo and shit.
I'm not very—so when is that collagen shit coming out?
Soon.
Soon.
I'm shooting that shit up by the galon.
Super soon.
By the galon.
By the galon.
Shooting it right into your face holes.
I'm going to take my shirt off here because I got a tight shirt on.
How about you take the headphones off, too?
Yeah, but they just don't like feeble old dudes, you know, with weird, like,
hunches in their back.
No, you don't want to look like fucking—
Gravity's winning.
Some guys let themselves go.
I've never understood.
You don't want that.
Yeah.
Shitty posture.
Look, we were just talking about Christy Brinkley.
She's, like, way older than us.
Yeah.
But we would all fuck her.
Yes.
Give her a chance.
Right now.
And the right circumstances.
I'm taking my sports to a new level by the time I'm 62.
Drugs.
I'm playing tennis.
What is this tennis thing?
Why are you so obsessed with that?
He's always been obsessed with it.
How about you take up something manly like jiu-jitsu?
I box, bro.
Oh, yeah, you do, bro.
Yeah, I go four rounds.
Amazing.
Don't—why are you looking at me like that?
When's the last time you boxed?
Ask Chris Van Eerden.
That's not the answer.
That's not the answer to a question.
It was