Name: Joe Rogan Experience #758 - Tom Papa
Uploaded: 2016-02-10T03:22:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #758 - Tom Papa' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-02-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #758 - Tom Papa' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-02-10. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #758 - Tom Papa

person to do it on their thing like we're plug into it we're live we're just
discussing uh very
critical um sound engineering issues we will take care of on the uh next
version of this studio
i'm gonna build something either in downtown or near here we haven't decided
really yeah i always
figured you'd had it here because you live here yeah i do but but i like
downtown i like the idea
of being on the top of a big building my other option and i've been looking at
land my other
option is in topanga canyon to build an actual compound my problem is i'm
afraid because i know
me i don't necessarily trust me i'm afraid i'll go whole hog colonel kurtz and
start a real compound
once i have the actual land and start putting things in and realize i'm not
really that restricted
financially from building shit i might just start getting crazy and then you
can but all your
followers could work that's the problem then it becomes a problem the unstable
ones shows up with
a fucking suicide vest downtown's a bit of a pain in the ass though getting
there sucks and i did a
someone had a show down there and i had to park like in this weird thing and
cut through a macy's to
get to where the thing was downtown could be a little tricky unless you get a
cool soho kind of loft space
that's what i'm thinking what i was thinking of is getting a high rise like a
top floor on a high rise
just get crazy and get something with the most dope ridiculous view and have
that view be the background
when we do shows especially nighttime shows that'd be pretty sweet and a good
vantage point when the
earthquake comes you ever been in a high rise during the quake well i'm gonna
have a parachute for you
nice for jamie and for all of us and we're just gonna shoot through one of the
windows i'll have a
shotgun we'll blast through one of the windows and then we're just gonna jump i
was in san francisco
two summers ago not last summer the one before during that earthquake they had
a little up in uh napa
it was the napa one and uh i had a show there that night i'm in a high rise get
up to go to the
bathroom at around two in the morning on my way back the whole building like a
rubber band just back
i was like what the oh they're on rollers yeah and that thing just scariest i
just laid on the bed and
i was like all right maybe this is going down maybe you laid on the bed laid on
the bed yeah i just yeah
i just kind of collapsed on the bed don't they say you're supposed to get in
like in a door frame
there was there was nothing but just terror yeah it's completely wow really
weird and i was like
and it was over i'm like do i just go to the airport i should just get the hell
out of town right
start running towards the fucking middle of the country yeah right exactly run
towards nebraska
that was my instinct i looked out the window i didn't see people like running
in droves so i just
said well this will see how freaked out i am if i can just go back to sleep
and uh i did i just fell asleep did you ever read the article was it in new yorker
i don't remember
what magazine it was in um there was an article that was essentially saying the
pacific northwest
like seattle is a ticking time bomb it just it's a matter of time before it
gets hit by a massive
tsunami and an earthquake a hundred percent gonna happen might happen in a
hundred years might happen
into who knows yeah i'm going i'm going there this weekend are you where you at
parlor live
love that place good club that combines my two favorite things in life pool
playing pool and a
comedy club it's almost like they designed it for me it is pretty perfect i
haven't been there in a
while so what what happens like when they say like at that level that they say
it'll hit what happens to
like does that mean like seattle goes into the ocean yeah that's the article it
was the new yorker the
really big one this woman by the way received so much hate and i think fucking
threats and all kinds
of crazy shit that she had to i think she had to make an amendment to this
the not so big one to say hey fuckers relax i didn't mean to scare you i'm just
uh yeah but notice
like mexico seems fine look goes all the way down to california all the way to
see the peel that
they're showing in the illustration hmm i think mexico's our move come on tom
papa let's do it let's go
san diego might not be a bad spot either it doesn't seem to be it's like
falling off that's not too
quakey no and it's filled with military people they'll know what to do yeah
pendleton yeah they're
right there they'll know what to do that's a good spot to be if the shit hits
the fan yeah a bunch
of motherfuckers who've prepared for the shit hitting the fan do you have a kit
a kit yeah do you have an
emergency kit i have food and food dry freeze dry food and water keep it in the
garage fridge yeah well
i have uh garage freezers i have freezers in the garage okay and have giant
coolers that'll keep i have
these uh yeti coolers you ever see you know what a yeti cooler is no yeti coolers
are really high-end
uh hunting coolers like outdoorsman coolers right they will keep ice i use it
when i brine things
like if i brine a ham like i smoke hams you ever smoke a ham yeah no oh it's so
delicious yeah man
there's nothing like it it takes a long time to do how long it takes like six
days to brine it
six days six days wow yeah um but then once you smoke it and then cook it like
right out of the
smoker and then serve it oh my god it's amazing really my kids scream when they
eat it they're
like this is amazing because it just melts in your mouth it's just so tender
and moist and delicious
cheese so where's the cooler come in what do you mean you i leave it in the
cooler for six days by
itself in a bucket so i brine the ham i take the ham i put a bucket of water
with salt garlic some brown
sugar and uh a few other spices i forget what it is uh some himalayan pink salt
and um then it sits in
this cooler i surround the cooler with ice or surround the bucket with ice
right and i lock it down and i just
leave it outside for days jeez six days later i open it up and it's still got
ice in it really yeah see
that that's that's one that i cooked oh man that looks good yeah five hours at
250 degrees how many
pounds is that that was about i want to say like a three pound one somewhere
yeah it was so good oh my
god like you cut like you see all the juices at the bottom of that plate yeah
it's like you cut
into and it's just squirting in your face it's so good so good jesus yeah that
is that's a wild wild
ham so that's during the apocalypse that's what you're gonna live on well my
point is that those
yeti coolers can keep things cold for a really long time right so like you
could have like if you have
frozen meat it'll stay frozen in those things for a week right or at least cold
enough where you don't
have to worry about it going bad so you can keep all your stuff in there so i
have meat that'll last for
a week i have like a week of meat and then okay generator i have a generator
you do i'm going solar
though i'm turning my whole house solar i think i am as well it's crazy to not
in california i know
it's you have to drop pretty good cash at the beginning yes it'll take about
five years to get
it back you might not ever get it back you might not ever you can have it set
up where you're always
going to have power and you're completely off the grid right that's the big
thing which brian cowan has been
trying to get them to turn over to his solar and he says they're really
resistant really yeah he paid
for panels he had the whole thing set up and he's like it's really interesting
he's like they make
it super difficult for you to do this because they they're fighting the uh the
solar companies they
don't want them to be autonomous they don't want people to be autonomous they
also want you to be
connected to the grid yeah if you choose to remove yourself from the grid and
be just a hundred percent
solar it's a huge issue really yep very hard to get done so can has he cut off
completely he's not not
so you pay like a couple cents a month just to stay on i don't know i don't
know you'd have to talk to
brian but right for for the longest time i don't know if he's gotten it turned
over but for the longest
time they weren't turning it over like i'm talking about six months so he makes
a sizable investment
spends tens of thousands of dollars has all this equipment installed yeah in
his yard and they wouldn't
turn it on he's like i couldn't get them to turn it on i have a uh tesla and i
want to go solar so
it's the car so completely yeah but the battery like the charger you can get a
rebate off of this
thing the amount of paperwork you have to show the city of la for them to give
you seven hundred dollars
back is in you have to take pictures of your house pictures of the charger receipts
from the company
certificates of work things from the panel i mean it's a list of like 12 things
it's like you know
and i i if i have to go to the to the mailbox once with the right stamp it's
like it's going to take
weeks for me to pull that off you're a comic i'm not i'm not doing it i'm like
all right i guess i'm
not going to play ball yeah like they make you do seven hundred dollars worth
of work yeah you're seven
hundred dollars worth exactly you would think they would be the opposite you
think they'd be no you think
that they would encourage because it would ease the grid yeah you know i rented
a tesla for a day
because we have a sponsor it's called skirt s-k-u-r-t and they're real new but
what they're doing is
they're essentially like uber for rental cars so like say if you were outside
the comedy store and
you're like i need a rental car i want to drive to san francisco right they'll
show up in
20 minutes with a rental car and you take that and drive it up the coast jeez
it's crazy yeah you you have an
application or on your phone right you use the app you order up a car and you
can get a tesla so i said
okay wow i want to try this service out before we do it let's get me a tesla
amazing so i got a
tesla it was the service is excellent they show up they give you the thing they
give you the key
they do you know how to do it i said yeah i watched a couple videos i'm good
right they go okay it's
real strange because uh the tesla doesn't start no and that's a powers up yeah
that's a weird one for
people you get in and you go okay why isn't it starting there's no revving the
gas no there's no gas
there's no brum brum there's no at all no and it just sort of you put it in
drive and okay we're
going oh okay yeah but what got me was that how quick the battery drained i was
like oh i don't like
this yeah how quick did it train well i live out here which is about half hour
to the improv right i
drove all the way the improv back i drove here home uh back to the improv and
back home and then back
here and it was more than a half a tank more than a half more than a half gone
i'm like that's not 240
miles like that's but that's half that's 120. but it's not even it's not even
it's maybe 60 miles
worth of driving maybe were you punching it you must have been because it's a
fast car i don't think
i drive any other way i think that's what i do there is a big difference when
you're slamming it
it's there's like a thing there's like a it shows you like the sweet spot and
that's around probably
around 65. it's around granny level but man when you blast that thing yeah yeah
it's crazy but it eats
up the it eats up the juice but it's weird how it accelerates without gears
which is very hard for
people who've driven a regular car to comprehend but it just it's instant on so
like a golf cart
like a mongo golf cart yeah super golf cart it's fun even going from zero to 35
40. yeah just to get
that punch it's a wonderful car it's amazing what they've done is amazing i
came here from down around
wilshire like beverly hills area get on the 405 hit autopilot and i didn't
steer until i got off of
shut