Name: Joe Rogan Experience #795 - Ian Edwards
Uploaded: 2016-05-07T05:02:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #795 - Ian Edwards' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #795 - Ian Edwards' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-07. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #795 - Ian Edwards

man has to be careful about what size accoutrement he carries around with him
right when you get into
like the man bag category it's like i don't know if you could pull that off and
it's a note too
so it's big so what we're talking about is ian's um phone cover here it's it's
very purse like
it's like a change purse now you can put your cards and in there so it is a
purse well you know
nah in a way it's like a wallet like a wallet phone yeah wow it's a good word
isn't that funny
like there's words you're allowed to use like like you could walk around all
day with a backpack
and no one says anything like well ian let's just keep a back but yeah no
problem with that
but if you have some sort of a satchel yeah you know very suspect very suspect
open yourself up for
a lot of verbal attacks you know what i'm saying and it's like the style of satchel
is important too
because if you got like a satchel that's like in any way stylish then you can't
just be wearing like
converse all stars and a t-shirt you have to wear like hipster clothes you have
to have like rolled
up cuffs right and you have to have like a nice tie up leather shoe you know
like you have to go gavin
mcginnis gavin mcginnis you know you gotta you gotta figure out what you're
gonna wear with it yeah
you gotta you gotta look the part yeah so that's why i i still take a lot of
heat for the fanny pack
and i think it's funny because i you know i wear that thing all the time but
yeah i feel uncomfortable
when i wear it sometimes yeah like quite honestly like yeah i wear it and i've
realized people are
looking at it and they notice it and they're mocking me hey i don't have the
balls to wear a
panty pack i gotta tell you that right now i wear it on stage you wear it on
stage i wore it on stage
a bunch of times why what are you you're not gonna pull anything out of there
because i don't want to
leave my wallet in the green room shady people working on the comedy club it's
hilarious i'd rather them
steal my wallet and wear it on stage that's how that's how like much i'm into
like looking off
looking like a man you know what i'm saying like i'm like i can't do it now you
just call this a purse
you may never see this again again because i called it i might i might throw
the phone away
with it and just get a new phone you have to have a cover though i found that
out man i tried to go
natural with my my last phone and uh man i dropped it a few times and it was
toast yeah it's shattered
jamie's going natural yeah you don't drop it no i'm pretty careful with it oh i
dropped it here and
there but it's still good to go you know what i don't think i dropped this one
now that i have a
case that's what's that's the funny thing yeah that happens yeah like you don't
have a case like bad
better now drop it yeah yeah when you go i've been raw yeah you know like no
case just raw no condom on
the phone yeah and uh you know like you gotta be careful with that feels good
that way it feels good
that way i have the natural phone in your hand yeah nothing on it yeah it also
feels like you're a
risk taker
i'm a wild motherfucker he's got no cover on my phone
bitch that's hilarious right doesn't it feel kind of like that in modern times
that is a risk that's 2016.
it is a risk to not have a case on your phone that's crazy you're a rebel this
is how we're rebelling yeah
this is the softest time to be alive ever it's so easy to be alive you know we're
trying to eradicate
all the dangerous parts that are left like there's the dangerous parts are left
like particularly in
america they're so highlighted now right it's one of the reasons why i think
like chicago and baltimore
and detroit and when we find out like the murder statistics for all these
cities one of the things
that freaks us out is that for the most part most of this country is as easy
going and soft as it's ever
been ever so when you see some crazy violence like on a youtube video or world
star hip-hop or something
like that live leak i watched some live leak the other day i gotta stop doing
that man i gotta stop
traumatizing yeah man they'll get you yeah but you realize like there are still
spots where it's
dangerous as fuck but for the most part it's so soft right now it's so soft
right now we're risk
takers if we have no phone cover that's us yeah that's the new tattoo yeah like
having no phone
cover everybody's tattooed now too that's weird i mean obviously i have them
but i just it's odd for
me to see how many more people have tattoos today how long you had your tattoos
a while
well i had one on my shoulder forever i got one when i think i was like 23 or
four or something like
that that was rebellious back then yeah yeah i was like oh i'm going crazy it
was something i drew too
and my friend tommy uh my friend tommy jr had gone to this guy already uh danny
williams in
connecticut he was a really good artist man this guy was a really good artist
big biker looking dude
but uh so you trusted with your tattoos back then he was a wicked artist you
know he was like it's like
back then tattoos as an art form was way more obscure like now i think people
know like kat von d
they recognized these like celebrity tattoo artists like ed hardy came out with
the line of
clothing like ed hardy was like a world famous tattoo guy like way way back in
the day like his like
there's a whole style of tattoos that people associate with ed hardy but there
was a only a few other
ones and now it's like they have all these magazines and tv shows and the guy
that did me aaron
dello vadova is awesome he's down in san diego at guru tattoo and it's you know
he's like my he's a good
friend like i really love that guy and it's like i he's a cool guy to talk to
which is like i think
important if you want to have someone draw on you for the rest of your life
that's funny they're like
they have the like the hairdresser barbershop style yeah you know conversations
when you're going there to
get the tats yeah well you do you get to learn about a guy you'll get to have
like these deep
conversations like like aaron and i we talked for like 45 hours on my right arm
and like 60 hours on
my left arm it's a lot of just talking that's a lot of talking sometimes you
don't really talk though
because sometimes he's just deep into it and i just like watch uh like you like
a watch i was watching
that's where i watched like most of uh breaking bad oh season one and season
two i was watching
that's funny that's like the perfect show to watch if you're getting a tattoo
yeah that's it's like
that's good mood music you know what i'm saying watching breaking bad and
getting a tattoo it's
almost like the pain of the tattoo accentuates the show yeah because the show
is so chaotic and
up yeah it's almost like better while someone's drilling on your elbow with the
tattoo needle
damn you said elbow and needle yeah i felt that you feel it yeah that's a that's
a rough spot the
inside of the elbow like right here that's a really rough spot yeah what's
interesting is that the
closer it gets to your chest it's a really rough spot like you're like whoa
different spots have
different um levels of pain that you experience from it's very strange like
your shoulder nothing you
could draw on me all day on my shoulder i fall asleep like i'm not kidding it's
weird like the
shoulder just doesn't seem to hurt but you get down to like some area the
inside of the arm yeah
it's like a different feeling it's i don't i guess the nerves are closer like
anywhere that's got more
meat on it is like protected more from the yeah i don't know it's funny though
no it's like it's like
you're finding out about your body yeah you know while you're getting tattooed
you know it's like
it's kind of like sometimes you're having sex with a girl and you and i always
like when she's oh i
never felt that before like like then nobody's ever touched that part or
explored that part
and it's like you're finding where are you digging ian and where's everywhere
everywhere where am i not
especially if you love a chick you just you'll try to find some of course yeah
when a girl says like that a good percentage of me always goes yeah right
oh shit every time every time in my life a girl said something like that i've
always been like okay
because it seems like something that girls think that guys want to hear don't
you think
yeah it's a part of faking it yeah yeah yeah well it's a part of getting the
guy to like you yeah
like getting a girl to like you guys will do all kinds of ridiculous artificial
shit pretend to be a certain way pretend pretend to behave a certain way but
when it gets down to it
you know you get to know them it takes it takes a long time to chip away from
that stuff so when
someone says something that's like cliche ridiculous or along those lines you
got to think like oh this
person just running their game in their game yeah they're running they're
falling in love with me yeah
they're falling in love with me you got you got to challenge those women just
to just so that they
respect you and you keep it on that level you know or don't date fakers yeah
that's hard though
that's hard though it's like some of them are hot yeah
what are you doing checking tweets while the show no i was trying to retweet
the thing but i'm not
getting any uh reception reception yeah i just want that's the only thing i
want to do is like
retweet it but my purse ain't allowing me to do that yeah you're you're rebel
because you have an android
phone too rebel in both ways you don't give a fuck is that the uh the note
where you could draw on the
screen yeah those are the yeah i love that i love it that's you have that no
you had one though i had
one of those and then you switched it back out yeah now i have a galaxy and um
i have uh an iphone i have
two different phones oh that's good so you got both yeah but i missed that note
that i just think that
ability to draw on the show i was like god it's gonna come into play someday
yeah i'm gonna make
some funny with this you know like have your friends and but it seems like
those meme generators we just
go and get like a little thing and put the text into it it seems like that's
easier
it's easier but sometimes it's a pain in the ass sometimes to move it to where
you want to move it to
right like the reason one of the reasons i like having this is like like there
was a like last
year i wasn't i didn't i was living in a friend's i sold that place remember
one last time and i was
living at a friend's house i didn't have no printer no computer no no no setup
where you could like if
you get a contract for a show or just with anything but so you could print it
up yourself with this you
just look at the thing on your phone you could sign it you could like read the
contract and then sign
it and just send it in via email back without printing anything out or anything
that's incredible yeah
that's a big thing to have in that case but how weird is it that we're still
signing things
like how much longer is that going to go on i mean think about it a unique
movement with your hand
really like we all know that i i used to replicate um all the kiss kiss
signatures every kid knows
how to do that right yeah sure michael jordan's autograph oh for sure well
probably a bunch of
people who have fake memorabilia right yeah like with a guy like michael jordan
like a basketball
signed by michael jordan is worth how much more than a regular basketball and a
fake basketball not
signed by michael jordan is worth still a lot of money yeah well how about yeah
it doesn't even have
to be a real basketball it'll be a child's toy if michael jordan signs it's
worth a lot of money so it
it only makes sense that a unique hand movement it could be easily replicated
it's not like what he
could do on the basketball court he could do with his handwriting you know it's
hilarious nobody can
fuck with his handwriting you can't do it dude nobody could who who slams dunk
from center court like
h