Name: Joe Rogan Experience #829 - Wayne Federman
Uploaded: 2016-08-03T04:29:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #829 - Wayne Federman' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-08-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #829 - Wayne Federman' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-08-03. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #829 - Wayne Federman

Yes! Wayne Fetterman, how are you, sir?
I'm swell, thank you.
Swell?
Swell, yeah.
First time anyone's ever said that.
Really?
On this podcast, when I asked him, how you doing?
Swell. You're the first guy.
Well, and what number podcast is this?
800 and something?
800 and...
Yeah.
What? I wrote it down. 29.
829. So you're the first guy to ever say swell.
What's the usual response?
I don't know. It's just standard noises, you know?
Great, awesome, terrific, you know, standard stuff.
Okay.
The way people normally talk.
Well, you're going to learn something about me.
Wow.
Not standard.
Swell.
Yeah, it's sketchy, it's sketchy.
So we were talking before this podcast about someone stealing your Twitter
handle, man.
I inadvertently posted at Wayne Fetterman.
Right.
And I thought it was you because when you go to it...
I did have it.
It looks like you.
Oh, I had it.
So how did this guy steal it?
I don't know.
So he stole your password somehow.
Somehow. That's the scariest part.
So how does Twitter not respond to that?
I don't know.
I tried to go through Twitter and he wrote me.
He was like, oh, don't you remember we...
And then he told this story that didn't happen about...
I can't remember.
I mean, I have it on here if you want to look it up.
But...
And I was just like, I don't want anything to do with this guy.
This guy's a liar.
So...
But now I'm...
This is the first time I've ever talked about it.
Because I'm more...
Because he has, obviously, access to my password.
Yeah.
So...
So your password...
But I had two accounts.
I had at Fetterman, which is my main one.
Am I talking too loud?
No.
Okay.
I had...
I get excited about these things.
It's okay.
Well, that's something to be excited about.
I mean, that's your fucking name.
Yeah.
And someone stole it.
I had at Fetterman and I had at Wayne Fetterman.
I had them both.
And one was just going to be to put people to...
At Fetterman.
Because I like that one a little better.
Why do you like that one better?
That's a good question.
These are already good.
All right.
Let me think.
I didn't know it was going to get this intense this early.
This is crazy.
These conversations are happening.
What is...
I don't know.
I just like...
I like the simplicity of it more than Wayne Fetterman.
Well, it's an unusual last name.
There's not a lot of Fettermans.
Yeah.
So you could hang on to it like that, you know?
So let me turn it back on you.
Am I allowed to do that?
Sure.
Or just to answer?
We're friends.
Come on, right?
Okay.
So let's...
We've known each other for 22 years.
Could you get at Rogan?
Um, I don't think so.
I wouldn't want it.
You don't want that?
No.
I mean, Joe Rogan is a small name.
Yeah, yeah.
It's J-O-E.
It's quick.
Yeah.
R-O-G-A-N.
It's not hard.
Yeah.
And I don't like the name Wayne, so...
Anyway.
But I bought Joe Rogan.
There was another guy named Joe Rogan.
You bought his identity.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was his real name.
I had...
I think I had originally Joe Rogan Experience, like the same as the podcast
name.
I think that's originally what I had.
Right.
And this guy had Joe Rogan, so I contacted him.
And I said, hey, man, can I buy that from you?
And he said, sure.
And he sold it to me.
Am I allowed to ask?
I don't remember.
I don't know the number.
I don't remember.
Wait a minute.
Now that I'm thinking about this, this might not totally be true.
That might be MySpace.
I think MySpace I bought.
I think I bought Joe Rogan on MySpace.
When was the last time you were on MySpace?
Oh, it's been never.
I guess it wasn't even me.
I think every seven years you're a new person.
They say that your cells completely swap out.
Yeah, I remember that as a kid.
It's not really me.
So seven years...
It's been more than seven years for sure.
It's weird, right?
It's weird how, like, people just decide.
Like, everybody was saying, but MySpace is dead.
And then everybody's like, shit, MySpace is dead.
Time to get the fuck out of there.
But I'm still on there.
Are you?
Come on.
I never check it or anything, but it's...
Do you use it?
No.
No.
But I still feel like I'm on there.
Hmm.
And there's a girl.
Can I make a recommendation about a girl?
On MySpace?
No.
She's on YouTube.
She's on YouTube.
But she wrote a song years ago on the ukulele,
which is one of the many instruments I play, as you know.
And it was called My Hope is the name of the song.
That's my recommend.
And it's about parents forgetting their password
to shut down their MySpace account
and their kids as teenagers reading it in the future.
I tried to shut my MySpace down.
It was no good.
I couldn't shut it down.
Yeah.
I don't think they want anybody shutting it down.
Yeah, they don't.
They don't.
I think they think somehow or another it's going to come back.
But didn't it just get sold again?
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.
I think, like, they keep trying to move it around and sell it.
If I'm not mistaken, and I know...
I don't know if you're into bands.
I'm going to find out a lot about you.
But, like, I feel like bands still have a presence on MySpace.
Jamie?
Not bands you want to see.
Yeah, I don't think anyone's on there.
I think it's a dead zone.
Okay.
All right.
Dead zone.
The dead zone.
Did you ever see that movie?
Yes, I did.
Yeah, Cronenberg?
That's a good one.
It's a good movie.
Yeah.
I read the book, too.
What?
It's a good book.
Do you read a lot of those?
Sometimes.
I can't read fiction.
Really?
You just read nonfiction?
Guess what?
We're learning about Wayne Fetterman today.
I read both.
I prefer fiction, though, I think, for reading.
But I like reading nonfiction, too.
I'm reading a book about coyotes right now.
Obviously fiction.
No.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding, Joe.
Well, you could have a nonfiction, or you could have a fiction coyote book.
Like, why would you say?
Well, it's kind of, the title even sounds like fiction.
It's like a spiritual and supernatural history of the coyote.
Of the coyote.
Yeah.
And give me one fact I need to know about a coyote.
They're wolves.
The same family?
Yeah.
Same.
All of them.
Exactly the same animal.
Like a dog is exactly the, like, you know, a dog can breed with dogs.
Coyotes are wolves.
They're a small wolf.
And they're originally called prairie wolves.
Yeah, I remember that.
Here's a history of the name coyote.
They used to call the people that landed here, used to call them, you know, the
early settlers,
called them prairie wolves when they first encountered them.
Like, Lewis and Clark, they first shot one, and they thought it was a fox.
They wanted to see what it was.
They shot it.
They examined it, and they said, that's not a fox.
It's a small wolf.
Classic white guy.
Let's examine this.
Kill it.
By shooting it.
Kill it.
Kill it.
And let's take a look at what we got here.
So they used to call them prairie wolves, and then the trappers encountered
Native Americans
who called them coyote, because that was the Aztec word for them.
The Aztec word was coyote.
And then the trappers encountered, or the Native Americans encountered Spanish
people from Spain.
They called it coyote, because they had the Spanish pronunciation of the word
coyote.
And then the trappers could not say coyote, so they started calling them coyotes.
So coyotes, coyote, and prairie wolf.
Those are the original names.
And, of course, coyote, which was the Aztec name.
And you still have 420 more pages to go.
The book's fascinating.
It's really fascinating.
What's really fascinating is by this guy, Dan Flores.
What's really fascinating...
Oh, why would I know that name?
There's the book right there.
You see it up on the screen.
A Natural and Supernatural History.
I don't know why you would.
What's interesting is the reason why coyotes are all over the country now,
they're in every single state.
Every single city.
Including Hawaii.
No, they're not in Hawaii.
That's a state.
It's not really.
It's a country we stole.
We stole an island from a bunch of brown people.
It's fucked up, Wayne.
It's called a state.
It's bullshit.
It's the last state.
It's their own country.
1959, it came to be a state.
I don't buy it.
It's going down.
Leave them alone.
It's going down on the experience.
I feel like anybody...
I think they should probably be protected by us,
but that's their own country.
I feel like that.
Give It Back?
Like, what was that song?
Give it back.
Yeah, yeah.
What was that?
How do we sleep when our earth is turning?
It was about Australia, but what was the name of that band?
Yeah, it was about the Aborigines.
Yeah.
How do we sleep when our beds are burning?
Give it back.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
They would drive around.
The time has come.
The safe man's fair.
To pay the price.
To pay our share.
To pay our share.
Do-do-do-do-do.
Wow, that's funny.
I can't think of that.
Wow.
What is that band?
No, I think they were a one-hit wonder,
but I remember the lead singer was this bald guy.
Yeah, he was intense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very intense.
Very intense.
Have you learned something?
Boy.
I'll think of it.
I do not remember, but I remember the video.
So you're saying give it back?
Yeah, man.
What about Alaska?
Give it back?
Nope.
That's ours.
We own that shit.
Even though it's not part of the-
Who else owns it?
Continguous.
Contiguous, right?
Contiguous.
Who else owns it?
Who?
Canada?
Give it to Canada?
Fuck that.
Give it to Russia?
Give it back to Russia?
And then they're connected to Canada,
which is connected to us?
Fuck that.
I'm just saying,
I'm not for giving up Hawaii.
Well-
I'm just talking about the last two states that became-
If Alaska was its own country,
it couldn't defend itself,
plus there's a lot of military in Alaska,
U.S. military.
I say we keep Alaska.
Okay, so we're back to 49 states.
Yes.
You know, it'll help the flag,
because then you can do the 7x7, right?
Well, that's the other thing.
Hawaii has their own flag.
Every state does.
But they really have their own flag.
They carry it around with them.
They express it.
Every state has a flag.
But when was the last time you saw somebody
driving around with a California flag
hanging off their car?
True, true, true.
Can I speak in a flag?
Here's something crazy.
Okay.
You might have spoken about it on the show.
You've done 800 and 29.
So I don't know.
I haven't listened to all of them.
I assume you have.
But Six Flags.
Great Adventure?
You're familiar with it?
Yes.
Do you know the Six Flags?
No.
Are you curious?
Sure.
They're the six flags
that have flown over the state of Texas.
Whoa.
If we can go through them.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Oh.
There's more than...
Texas is that...
It's not a state, right?
It's a republic.
It's a state.
It's a state.
But they can kind of bail.
They're a state.
They've thought about bailing before.
Yeah.
There's people that always talk about seceding is the word they use.
It's the Republic of Texas.
We're going to bail.
We're going to bail.
We're going to bail.
Tired of this liberal bullshit.
Okay.
So, obviously, United States.
Right.
Texas.
State of Texas flag.
Right.
Spain.
Spanish flag flew in Texas?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because it was Spanish territory initially?
Yeah.
Mexico?
I believe Mexico.
There it goes.
Wait.
Don't...
There's one crazy one.
This is the crazy one.
There's French, because it was obviously...
The French owned it for a while.
Really?
Yeah.
It's part of the Louisiana Purchase, right?
Oh, that's right.
But here's the craziest one.
Confederate.
Yeah.
So, when you say go to Six Flags, the sixth flag is the Confederate flag.
That's not cool.
I actually think it is kind of cool.
It is kind of cool, right?
Like, if you think about it, you're like at this amusement park.
You're like, oh, that's the French part.
That's the Confederate part.
That's the...
I heard that it was not that long ago that the Confederate flag was on a car
that was
on television every day.
Right.
You're talking about...
The General Lee.
Yeah.
The Dukes have it.
Yeah.
Daisy Dukes.
I remember that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The flag was on TV.
Wait.
First of all, the Confederate flag is still part of the state of Georgi