Name: Joe Rogan Experience #840 - Donald Cerrone
Uploaded: 2016-08-31T02:54:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #840 - Donald Cerrone' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-08-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #840 - Donald Cerrone' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-08-31. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #840 - Donald Cerrone

I can't be wearing a headset.
No.
How are you going to wear your hat?
It looks weird.
Well, it looks weird.
There's only one headset.
Are we live?
Live.
We're fucking live, man.
What's going on, brother?
Chilling.
Look at you.
Look at me.
Filling up tanks.
Budweiser.
Cheers.
We cannot have a podcast with Cowboy.
Without America here.
America.
America.
America.
Thank you.
Starting off a good one.
So, tell me about the tanks.
You sent me a picture today.
I had a little time to kill, didn't I?
Yeah.
What are you doing?
I'm going diving to Catalina.
Holy shit.
Home of the sharks.
Home of the Makos, right?
The Mako, yeah.
I was watching a TV show the other day where people were fishing for them out
there.
So, we got filled up a couple doubles.
My buddy Rob from Always Sunny in Philadelphia taking me this weekend camping.
So, they're going diving, but they all dive singles.
So, I like to go deeper, longer.
What singles?
What does that mean?
Like a single tank, an aluminum 80.
Oh, single tank.
Single tank, yeah.
So, me and my girl are diving doubles, which everyone says doubles means double
trouble,
but whatever.
What does that mean?
Like, how deep can you go with a double?
Oh, you can go as deep until you run out of air, but we'll probably go in the
200 range,
220 to...
200 feet down.
200 feet down.
Boom.
That's one of those weird ones where when you come up, you've got to come up
slow, right?
Yeah, sure.
Or you get the bends.
Yeah, absolutely.
You get the bends, yeah.
It's decompressing, you know.
The process to diving, and I've been diving seriously, like a lot of rec diving
and a lot
of tech, you should say, diving over the last two years, man.
I ran into some guys in Las Vegas, Buddy Trav, and he kind of schooled me on
their way of diving,
and I love it, man.
And the reason I go to Las Vegas and dive Lake Mead all the time is because I
dive with
guys, they dive 200, 300 feet every day, every week, you know.
So getting around the people that dive it regularly and know their shit, you
know, is to teach
me the way, you know.
So thanks, Trav.
I appreciate you showing me the light, brother.
Now, when you come up, like from...
How do you know, like when you're going down 200 feet?
It's all an algorithm.
It's all in your dive computers, and you...
So you plan, plan, plan, plan, plan, then you recheck, and Lindsay, she does it.
She does the same thing.
We check each other's work and make sure it's all...
All our gases are mapped out for how long...
Like, let's just say we're going to go 150 feet for...
There's a cool ship down there we're going to go check out.
We want to be there for 35 minutes, right?
So I put the algorithm in these apps in our computer, or we write it all out,
and it'll
tell us exactly how long of a bottom time we can have, the stops that we have
to make,
and the gases that we have to switch to decompress the amount of nitrogen in
our blood and make
our way to the surface.
What's the science behind it?
Like, why does nitrogen get in your blood?
So, because from Earth's surface to the atmosphere is one atmosphere, right?
Every 33 feet is another atmosphere.
So every time we go down 33 feet, we add another atmosphere with that much more
pressure.
So right now you're breathing 21%, oxygen 78%, 78%, a little bit of, like, argon,
other
shit in the natural air, right?
A lot of nitrogen, too.
Yeah.
So 78% of the air you're breathing right now is nitrogen.
Right.
21% is oxygen.
Most people don't know that.
They think that you're just breathing oxygen.
No, you're only breathing 21% oxygen.
So, but you off-gas it through your tissues because there's no pressure on you,
right?
So, like, right now you're taking a breath, and then you breathe out, and the
nitrogen just
off-gases.
Well, as soon as we start going onto the water, the amount of pressure holds
that into our system.
Like, we can't off-gas it so it becomes, turns into a liquid and goes into our
blood, which
is what the bends is, is where the guys would be working, and then they just
come up because
they didn't know.
No one knew until you know, right?
Right.
I mean, we didn't know there wasn't a moon god until all of a sudden we know
now, right?
Okay.
No, I mean, I mean, like, I know what you're saying, right?
So, yeah, so they, you would force the liquid out of, into a, back into a gas
by coming
up fast, so it, which goes into your joints and causes the bends, because it
makes you
bend over and hurt your back, because that's what they call it, the bend,
because the guys
be like, oh, fuck, I'm fucked up, right?
I got, like, yes, that's where the term bends comes from.
And that shit can kill you, right?
Well, yeah, well, you can, aneurysm in your brain, blood clot, you know, all
kinds of
crazy, kill you instantly.
Whoa.
So, we, so, 150 feet, all of a sudden, 25 minutes is up, now we're going to
start our ascent,
and our computer says, all right, at 70 feet, we got to do a minute.
At 60 feet, we got to do two minutes, we're going to switch gases.
Now, we're going to switch to 50% oxygen, right?
So, increase the amount of oxygen, to which decreases the amount of nitrogen
that we're
breathing.
So, we're going to speed the off-gassing process, because we're coming up, so
the pressure's
coming off as our body's able to off-gas it.
So, we just have to do, like, stages, and it's all through an algorithm, and
the Navy dive
system, been through years, hundreds of, millions of dives, you know, figuring
out the timetables
of the correct amount of time you have to be at each depth to off-gas the
amount of nitrogen
in your body's built up.
And then, when you go deeper than that, you start adding in a tri-mix.
We add helium in.
Helium.
Helium, yes.
So, we add helium into the mix, and, yeah, man, it's so fun, but the fear of,
you know,
could I die?
Yeah, hell yeah.
That's why I love it.
Fucking crazy.
Fucking love it.
And we were talking earlier about sharks.
I swim after the sharks.
Like, I want to get them on the GoPro.
They're, like, swimming away from me.
Sharks don't, they don't just eat divers.
They don't just swim along a fucking great white come attack you.
They're, like, scared of you, man.
You're, like, a big black, breathing out fucking bubbles and shiny, you know?
So, they want nothing to do with you, and I'm always trying to chase them down.
So, most of the shark attacks are, like, surfers, right?
Because they think it's a seal.
Yeah, seal up top.
Yeah, you're not under.
And where would you rather?
We were just watching, before you got here, some footage of the shark attacks
on YouTube,
and where would you rather be?
I'd rather fight the fucking shark under the water.
Yeah, I'd rather be under.
Under instead of on top.
Like, if...
Is this the video I posted yesterday?
Yeah, of the shark gnawing on the cage.
Fuck this.
Right?
Fuck everything about this.
This is insane.
This great white shark is trying to get these people.
He's biting this cage, trying to get what's inside.
So, what do you do?
You just grab his dorsal fin and go for a ride, baby.
He can't bite you behind him.
Mmm, ride his back.
Mata Liao.
Have you seen a great white underwater?
I never have, no.
I've never...
I haven't been down, you know, in the waters where they're at, you know,
Australia and stuff
like that.
So, no, I've never seen a great white...
I've seen plenty of hammerheads and, you know, Mako, but never like a giant
great white.
Hammerheads are so bizarre.
They look like an avatar creature.
They don't even look real.
Why are their eyeballs way out there like that?
I feel like I've been with a couple of hammerhead women, you know?
Like, what are them titties doing, honey?
Get them, pick them up.
Pick them up.
That's when a girl with an A cup tries to go straight D right away.
It can't be done.
And they lay next to her on the bed.
It's defying science.
You got an evil Knievel canyon in between your titties.
That's it.
So, I love diving.
You know, I got a great dive partner, my girl, Lindsay.
And that's the biggest thing, having the companionship and trust of someone
with your life, right?
Right.
So, carrying all the tanks.
Like, she'll be diving.
She'll have a pair of doubles on her back and two tanks under each one of her
arms.
So, you got four tanks under the water.
I heard spear fishing is the shit.
I love it.
Yeah.
You do that?
Yeah, sure.
Only if I'm going to eat it.
I won't just kill to kill.
But, yeah.
Right.
So, yeah.
Absolutely.
Because it's like hunting, but fishing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a lot easier than you think.
They don't know what the fuck's going on.
They have no idea what's going on.
Yeah, they don't know about spears.
They don't even know what you are.
You're like, what the fuck?
Oh, fucking got him.
So, you know what I'm saying?
Now, is it attached to a rope?
Yeah.
It's attached to, like, a fishing line.
You can damage it.
You can shoot it.
It depends if you're using a gun or they have, like, slings that go in your arm.
You can shoot them like a little, uh...
Like Spider-Man?
Yeah, not so much.
It's just a little, like, a slingshot-type thing you just put on your wrist and
let go of it.
Oh, wow.
It'll hit the wall over there.
But, yeah, the spirit guns will go far, and they have, like, a little reel you
can reel it in on.
Like, how far?
50 feet?
Yeah.
100 feet?
Yeah, sure.
And they slow down considerably, though, right?
Oh, of course.
After the first few feet.
Yeah.
Wow.
They'll be right on it.
And your depth perception is so different underwater, so it's kind of, you've
got to aim above them.
It's weird.
Right, right.
They're a fraction.
Yep, exactly.
Yeah, that's the same when you're shooting down.
Yeah, like bow hunting.
Yeah, they bow fish in the water.
You've got to, like, aim six inches under where you think it's going to be.
Exactly.
Bizarre.
Now, when you're diving, like, how long have you been doing this, first of all?
Well, I got certified in high school.
High school?
Yeah.
Damn, so you've been doing this for a long time.
Yeah, but that was just, like, going 30, 40 feet, recreational diving, you know,
going
to see some stupid, I shouldn't say stupid, but every, like, that's, like, the
recreation
thing to do is go see a reef.
But I think one reef looks like every reef.
Right.
I don't know, so I kind of got over that.
Like I said, I met with these guys and doing the shit that only 5% of the world
do.
You know, my goal is to go 500 feet.
So I've been just shy of 300.
Ooh.
And, yeah, there's just a lot of planning and crazy shit that goes involved.
I mean, you're dead, pretty much.
Anything goes wrong, but, uh...
How long does it take you to get up from 300?
Ah, from 300, it's about a 50-minute deco time back up to the surface.
So 5-0?
Yeah, so it's about a 3-hour dive completely.
Holy shit.
Now, if something goes wrong, like, if your cord gets cut when you're down
there...
There's no cord, but...
Well, if you're bleeding oxygen...
Right, you shut one off and go to your...
So you always carry enough...
No one's ever died because you have too much gas, right?
So...
Oh, okay.
You carry it with you.
Right.
So a lot of the mixtures we bring with us, like my back gas will just be
regular...
Either tri-mixed gas or regular air, and then I'll have a 36% oxygen, which is
to about
100 feet.
So if anything were to go around my back gas, I could haul ass to 100 feet and
then start
my deco, you know?
And really, there's, like, protocol and all kinds of different...
Plus, I'm diving with a buddy, which would be you, and you have all the gas on
you, too.
So you would be, you know, arms length away from me, so I'm shit going down.
Oh, so I could give you my gas?
Give you your...
Oh, wow.
Give you a regulator intake.
You have one that hangs on your neck and one that you're using, right?
So you'd give me yours and put yours in, and we'd figure it out.
Oh, okay.
But if you were nowhere to be found, like if I was off screwing off and doing
something
I shouldn't be, which I'm fucking 99% doing, then I got to rely on myself.
Whoa.
It's fuckin