Name: Joe Rogan Experience #857 - Dan Bilzerian
Uploaded: 2016-10-13T02:21:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #857 - Dan Bilzerian' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-10-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #857 - Dan Bilzerian' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-10-13. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience  #857 - Dan Bilzerian

boom and we're live there's a lot of rich people in the world but it's not a
lot of rich people
living like you so first of all before we even get started i salute you sir
because if i was a
16 year old kid and i won the lottery i'd be living exactly the way you live
like if you asked
a 16 year old kid hey man if you had 100 million bucks what would you do oh
dude i just have i just
have bitches around me all the time i'd be jet skiing i'd be driving around ferraris
and private
jets you're living like a life that doesn't even seem real it's uh does it seem
real to you um now it
seems normal as crazy as that sounds um i've been doing it for a while but that's
actually kind of
exactly what i did i was um i think it started in maybe like 2011 12 so i had a
girlfriend for about
two or three years and she was like pretty happy the fact she was a playmate
she had like 100 000
followers and she was going to move to la to become famous and this and that
and we ended up breaking up
and i actually ended up getting a place in san diego then i got a place in la
and i started playing
this you know real big poker and i mean i beat one guy for like 54 million and
then you know i beat
another guy for like 10 and you know so there's like you know some pretty big
christ yeah like you
says it was like there's some pretty big you know wins there and uh and i was
single and i was just
like you know what fuck it i'm just kind of kind of like do bucket list shit
like whatever like whatever
i wanted to do when i was a kid i'm just gonna fucking do it you know and i
just did and i posted
about it and it was like part of the posting was because i knew it'd be able to
get me some pussy
without like actually speaking to girls which was good and then there was like
another piece of it
where it was kind of like a fuck you to her right and then but it was like
never like really to become
famous you know what i mean it was just kind of like you know i was just doing
my thing and
you know we were getting pictures here and there uh and then it kind of i mean
fuck it's you know i
mean i sent you some of the stats i mean i think like a week ago like i fuck i
reached 175 million
people i'm just yeah it was insane you sent me uh some some measurement of all
the different people
that are looking at your stuff and i'll read it because it's it's insane
analytics yeah like it
doesn't even make sense these it's hundreds of millions of people here we'll
see 161 million
304 941 impressions this week yeah that's insane and that's just instagram you
know like facebook's
the whole thing you know nothing and and and and it's really underrepresented
because first of all
everybody else is buying all their followers and likes and all their shit right
so theirs is like
really inflated and also i got actually kind of like the opposite because i got
a lot of people
that are looking at my shit they can't really be seen looking at my shit you
know what i mean like
there's like some big producer i won't say his name but like every time i post
a girl like they
get hit up in the d and this is like a big big like like you know like fucking
done like 100 million
dollar movies and shit and he's like hits them all up you know so there's like
a lot of these dudes
that just stalk me out like this paul marciano this fucking guy is like every
time i like post a
chick she's got a guest campaign now you know so it's like it's kind of funny
you know well it's great
for them too then well but what i'm saying is like they're not actually like
officially followed me
they didn't click that button but they're watching my shit they're stalking you
from afar yeah yeah so
they hit that search button and you're at the top of the list always because
they're always searching
you that's funny seems like so how long has this been going on when did you
start making all these
crazy posts and when did this gambling rampage start um well i mean i've been a
gambler for a long
time but um i think kind of the craziness i would say started in 2012 probably
that's like i just
distinctly remember because i i won like 11 million bucks in a night and my
buddy who i'd just given
like two thousand dollars to made me a million off it because he got second in
the world series of poker
so i had like a 12 million dollar week so i was like fuck it i'm gonna take
this dude down to like
portavarta with a bunch of chicks and we're gonna have fun you know and that
was kind of like
um that was that was one of the big actually no i'm sorry i take that back i'd
broken up with my
girlfriend and it was a buddy of mine nick cassavetes who he's like you know he's
pretty big uh he did
like the notebook and blow and you know like big director or whatever and um i
played poker with him
a lot and i just broke up my girl and i was like hey let's go down to cabo i'm
gonna bring some chicks
chicks and it was supposed to be me him and one other guy and the other guy
ended up bailing but
he had like committed so he paid for his part of the trip so it was me and nick
and i think it was
like i want to say 17 chicks and i mean i remember i had sex nine times in one
day i was like so proud
of myself right i think by the end i was like it was like dust was coming out
you know but it's like
it was funny because i like i didn't even want to have sex at night time but it
was just kind of like a
like a matter of principle it's like if a billion a billionaire is walking down
the street and
he sees a hundred dollar bill he's just always going to pick it up you know
what i mean that was
me i didn't get a lot of pussy when i was younger so it's like if the hot chick
wanted to fuck me
like i didn't care if i wanted to beggars it's like out of obligation so 17
girls yeah now do you pay
these girls to come no no okay so that's the big misconception i'm addressing
that on my app
i actually have an app yeah i got an app coming out and i'm just gonna
basically but you know what i'll
give it to you for free you know thank you um i'm not opposed to paying for sex
you know like i mean
i have in the past like i've you know fucked thousands of girls so it's like
you know and i've
paid for maybe like 10 or 20 something like that and it's not because i have
any you know moral dilemma
about it and it's not because i think it's wrong um in fact i think like sex
for money is one of the
most like pure interactions because the guy gets what he wants the girl gets
what she wants there's no
bullshit i think like this whole like sugar daddy sugar baby thing is the
biggest fucked up part
because then the guy's like pretending to like the girl he's pretending he's
not fucking other girls
the girl's pretending to like him it's just like all this like convoluted
bullshit well it is
prostitution and it is at the end of the day like it is paying for sex right
but they're not coming
out and saying it it's not like hey i want x and i'll give you y it's like the
guy from the clippers
with donald sterling and that girl come on man they're all doing it it's it's
la bro like they
they all have like you know these five girlfriends they're supporting them and
then the girls have
other boyfriends they don't tell you know and it's this whole fucked up thing
but like i said but for
me like i said it's not a moral thing it's not i mean for me it's not a
monetary thing obviously i'd
much prefer to just give a girl money fucker and be done but for me if the girl's
not into me then i'm
just like kind of not into the sex so that's the hang up for me but no i i like
that's actually
healthy yeah i mean i mean it is i mean people make these big judgments they're
they're gonna make
big judgments on you first of all because you're doing some stuff that's just
like so far to the
right end of the spectrum it doesn't even make sense like how the fuck is he
pulling all this off
it doesn't it's like it seems unattainable so they're gonna make well he's this
guy's wrong and
he's i would never do that and they're saying a bunch of crazy shit because the
way you're living
is just so bizarre but at the end of the day that's the thing like people just
like can't wrap their
hands around the fact that like you know they that because so many guys are
paying right now like
people are tricking off in record numbers like because of instagram and all
this stuff and the
access that people have like tricking off being paying for sex paying for sex
in like record numbers
like it's unbelievable first of all it should be legal just like getting a
massage should be legal
yeah you know nobody wants to rub your feet nobody wants to suck your dick but
you should be able to
pay both of them it's the oldest profession like since the history of time it
is it is well not
only that they they taught chimpanzees the value of currency they gave chimpanzees
coins and they gave
them coins and then every time the chimps would give the coins to back to the
people that give them
candy you know what the chimps did the first fucking thing they did they gave
the coins to female
chimps and they fucked them that's amazing that's the first thing they did and
the researchers were like
jesus that is number one the first thing they did that's funny
i didn't know that yeah it's hilarious i used to have a whole bit about it
it's it's nothing there's nothing wrong with it and like making pleasure a
crime is ridiculous
there's no victim no one's getting hurt think of all the shitty jobs that you
can get paid to do
you can get paid to clean toilets you can get paid to fucking insulate attics
there's a lot of terrible
jobs how about you can get paid to mop up the cum on a fucking you know on the
floors of these like you know
jerk houses or the porn place or whatever you know it's just like i mean i don't
know like i said i i have no
issues with it i i think it should be legal um it's a victimless crime yeah i
just like for like i said
for me it's it's the it's the mental thing and i just like i i got you know i
couldn't fuck all the
girls you know if i had five dicks so it's like what you know what's the point
and i'm not like bragging
like i didn't used to i'm just you know i'm just kicking you the real deal you
know it's like i
i would i i said there's no victims i guess there is some there's victims of
some prostitution right
there's uh people that are abducted and there's there's certain people that are
like sex traffic
like sex slaves that's real but we're not talking about that yeah but we're
talking about that that's
exactly what you said though that's sex slavery that's not really like a girl
saying hey i want x
for a while that's that's her saying hey you got to do this right you're
getting your ass beat yeah
there's a big way bigger difference way big difference between that and a lot
of what you
see in la as these girls they want to wear the nice purses and have nice shoes
they don't really want
a job and they want to live in a nice apartment but they don't want to work how
do i work this out
and and by the way getting back to your last thing if it was legal there wouldn't
be you know the
pimps saying hey you're gonna do this you're gonna get your ass beat it would
all be regulated just like
drug dealers yeah and and also then then they'd be getting you know tested and
you know there'd just
be like a whole regulated system exactly i mean as much as i hate pain pills
and as much as i i've
lost friends to pain pills and oxys and all this different shit there's there's
no fucking wars being
fought over it there's not blood in the streets of juarez mexico over pain
pills you know all that
shit is over drugs that are illegal yeah as soon as those drugs become legal i
think probably less people
and you'd get tax dollars from them and at least there would be some sort of a
solution in terms of
like treatment and responsibility and you'd be able to look at it a little bit
differently yeah i just
think there's too much money and kickbacks for that to happen but i i totally
agree i mean i think alcohol