Name: "Just Glassin" with Tom Segura
Uploaded: 2016-12-22T00:42:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"Just Glassin" with Tom Segura' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-12-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"Just Glassin" with Tom Segura' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-12-22. Transcript available.

Hello, freak bitches
Don't you know if you like read here it is yeah, because it's just so
interesting
To approach of the approach to combat and everyday life should be the same
The pretty oh
What that's that's a yeah, the approach to combat and everyday life should be
the same. That's intense. That's intense
Yeah, it was a little too intense. I have a real interesting one on my
instagram
I don't know if you can pull it up. Is that the guy who touched a girl for the
first time that video?
No, but it is a lady with the holiday one, but it's interesting, you know, yeah,
yeah
Who's that guy that touched a girl? Did you get permission to put them on your?
Yes, I probably take down that one that you made me put up the Christmas one.
Yeah
That one's pretty interesting the one where the girl the one that you should oh
when you ho ho ho it up for Xmas
I mean, it's interesting watch it. Okay
What are you doing to me shut this off?
What is wrong with you?
You and your wife
First of all, you're both fucking hilarious. She is but you guys are both so
specific
Yeah, you have the you guys have the funniest silliest fucking show because you're
both so specific
Thanks. Yeah, like the the things that you just decide like you're wearing a
shirt Tom's wearing a shirt that says just glass in on it
I'm just glassing bro. Now glassing is a term to like hunters use when they get
up on a ridge and they look for things
So when I saw that I was like, well, that's weird
Like what did you I thought maybe you bought that it's a convenience store when
you were in Alaska, right?
Something like that. Yeah, this would be a silly gimmicky shirt to it, but no,
this is a shirt like from your fucking podcast
It is yeah, it's a tell the story. Okay, so silly every week we get
submitted
Hundreds of emails with links to videos like that, right? Right. I mean so many
emails
Have you seen this everything and the and the internet's this endless pool of
stuff to pull from and then we have this our producer blue band
I don't know if you know that that's our producer's name
Blue band. Yeah, because it used used to be red band. It was a yellow band for
a while and now there's blue band so
So blue band then we'll go through a lot of this stuff and edit down
Let's say like a five minute YouTube video into like maybe six
10 to 15 second clips and so we're just always looking at stuff and it's you
know the we like a
Range of things are engaging to us. Well, we got this hunter. His name is Fred
Eichler I think yeah, he's an avid bow hunter he bun he hunts with a
traditional bow like a recurve bow
Oh, that's right. The one of the most prominent recurve bow hunter. Yeah, it's
either a recurve bow or it might be a stick bow
What is it? Yeah, no, it's it's a totally it's incredible but how that that
technology evolved
Yeah, so there's a lot of these guys like this guy you're talking about the
glass and guy
He still uses like one of those primitive bows, but he's just so good. He can
get away with it
It says I mean this bio is incredible, but in this video it starts with him
He he shoots a moose and it drops quick and he fucking comes close to coming in
his pants, right?
Like he he makes a sound that you don't even you can't he goes
Like like like like he's can you show it to us?
Uh, yeah, but you are you allowed to play it online. Did you get pulled from
anything? No play it on YouTube? No
No, and and we also play I mean
The audio is is what's incredible, but then he starts talking about glass and
and he's like we were just coming around the meadow
We were just glass and glass and then we were like let's glass let's glass and
he goes keeps going glass glass glass glass and glass
Which is looking through binoculars, which we discovered but then we played it
so much
People like I would post a picture of myself like I'm about to go on stage and
like are you glassing and like or you know
Like if you talk to somebody like what'd you do today? I got hung out and they're
like glass and you're like, yeah
So then it morphed into meaning like just chillin. Yeah, and I don't know it
just kind of it picked up from there
You guys have so many of these though. I always have to ask you. Okay, what's
the deal with jeans? Yeah
Everybody jeans like when you guys were on that and you had explained it to me.
Yeah, you know what the latest thing is with that first
We had an electrician over at the house and whenever you're in the house, you
know, you're calling your spouse
I'd be like jeans. Do you know because that's what I call her so then she
walked down the stairs and he goes jean
Would you like me to put the yeah, so he and we just let it go. We called her
jeans
But then we started going to Starbucks and
Ordering our drinks. This is just like a stupid thing like that. We told our
listeners. We do we do this regularly just to amuse ourselves
Which is we'll call them jeans and then say thank you mommy or I love you mommy
at the end and no one ever
The order happens so fast and it's so like programmed that they never catch
never say like what did you say so like when I when I pull up
Like welcome to Starbucks. What can I get for you? I'll be like
Hey jeans, I want to get an iced coffee
Extra ice and what do you want a double toss or a latte? Okay, that'll be a 670
or I'm like, thanks mommy
And then I just pull up so we told them we did that people sent us videos of
them doing it
fucking hilarious
like a
A guy like getting his he was talking to a bill play place and he's like hey
mommy
I don't understand what this bill means and the other guys like yeah
So that first section like they don't even address that you're calling someone
mommy or jeans or saying thank you mommy or I love you mommy
Like okay. Have a good day. Like they just it speaks more to almost how pre-programmed
Customer service becomes, you know, yeah, they're not even acknowledging that
you're saying something ridiculous to them
No, no, they're not. It's hilarious. Yeah
But also like what do you say when someone says something like that to you you
probably like you're so scrambled. I think so
Yeah, because it doesn't make any sense. It started off not making any sense
But then it picked up and made a lot of sense. Yeah, it's like oh clearly you
can talk English, right?
And then it gets to the end it calls you mommy and you're like, whoa, what
happened one time? We called the the Renaissance in Cincinnati
the hotel the hotel because the year before before a few months before my son
was born we were there for a wedding and
Christina had like a 32nd fart so
We she's very pregnant
We came back and we talked about it and we decided it deserved its own name. So
it's called the Cincinnati fart. Oh Jesus
And we read figured out what room number we were in and we called the hotel and
I go
I can't help you. I go. I want a book. I want to stay there, but I want to
commemorate the Cincinnati fart
And she goes, I'm sorry. What was that? And I go, I want to stay in this room
I think it's from 618 because the Cincinnati fart happened there and she goes,
I'm just having a little trouble. What was that?
The what and I'm like the Cincinnati fart and she's like
Can you spell it for me? Yeah, F-A-R-T and she stayed professional like she was
like, okay
Oh, I'll see what I can do. She has to yeah, she didn't probably have cameras
on you
Yeah, you can't go what the fuck are you talking about?
Well, I did have a
flooring guy I go, can you
Do this floor for me and he's like I can send you some samples and I go great
He goes, who do I send it to I go, it's your mom's house
And he was like, what was that? And I go your mom's house. He goes my mom's
house. I go, no, that's the name of our our company
Your mom's house. And I go, yeah, he was like, all right, you have a good day
and he hung up the phone
And I go, okay
Like I was I wasn't trying to for him. It was a totally normal. I wasn't right
funny
I go, no, that's the name of the company. He didn't want to listen. He was like,
okay. Okay. You have a good day
Like wow. Yeah, okay. Did you try you let him hang though?
You should have said it's actually the name of a podcast
We tried to explain it, but you can go look it up on iTunes. It's very popular.
He was he was pretty quick with like
This is a joke. Oh, okay. He grew up with a lot of your mom jokes. Yeah, he did
I'm buying it. I'm not buying it
Seems like a guy that just didn't get it
Can you play Fred? Do you play his audio the glass and guy? Yeah, it's where do
you have it on your phone? It's on YouTube
Okay, what is the name of the video? It's called?
It's saved on his phone
Tell you give me one moment. I look time segura at the ice house tonight sold
out
I'm at I'm doing Don Marrera show tonight and you're at the Laugh Factory
tomorrow tomorrow. Yeah
With Duncan Trussell and Tony Hinchcliffe do do do
You got a couple of
This should be it
Okay, crank it up
Okay, that looks like a compound bow really yeah, let's see
Couldn't tell it was moving really quick
Yeah, that's a compound bow see the cams at the top of the bow
That's not a primitive bow at all. That's a super modern bow
I think but this dude knows how to do this he's oh, yeah, you know, he's a
professional bow hunter
I've seen this guy on TV a ton of time. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a TV
show that I watch dude
If you go over my house, you think I I'm a
crazy person you change your profile pic
Yeah, it's a silly picture of me with a camera on my face hiding in the trees
I'm trying to make sure this is the right video. I'm looking
As we're going through the trees every once in a while I stop and I can still
see the moose through the trees
We've got when does it get good? That's what I'm it's our dream. Is this it
archery moves down?
Yeah, it's coming up angling down. Yeah, there you go
Here we go, okay, it's about to be good, so you get the full shot wait
It's countdown to getting real funny
I just smoked her she's gonna go down watch her watch her she's gonna go down
Oh, Jesus. I know it's intense. I don't like this part
No way
Yes! Have you ever seen a moose go down that quick?
No
Holy cow. Holy cow is right. That is awesome
We got out here early morning. Look at the look at the meadow
This is why this is why we came up here. We've been slipping along this big
huge meadow
Big long tall meadow. We've been slipping along here. Just glass and just glass
and glass and all of a sudden
Really? I didn't even have I didn't even put my head in it on. I'm like, ah, we're
just glass of these big huge meadows
Let's just keep going. Let's glass. Let's
Holy smokes. I got a moose. I got a moose and I'm like, oh man, it's a bull
It's a bull and I'm like, oh, it's a cow. We got a cow right there
That was unbelievable. We came right around this tree. She was
Is a cow more significant than a bull? No, no unless he only had a tag for a
cow
Oh
Depends on why why he shot a cow not a not a bull
Sometimes it depends on the unit depends on how many cows they have versus how
many bulls they have
They might want people to kill cows. They probably want a certain amount of
cows to be killed a year
They have weird who decides that yeah, it's fish and game department hmm
They go that we have too many of pens entirely on where you are
Depends entirely on what part of the world you're in and then do you report it?
Yep. Yeah, you tag
Tag an animal let's say if you you shoot a moose. That's a moose
this one I shot in British Columbia really yeah and
You you have a tag and you take that you know
You you have to pay for it and they a lot a certain amount of them some places.
They have what's called over-the-counter
You