Name: Joe Rogan Experience #889 - Brian Redban
Uploaded: 2016-12-24T02:29:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #889 - Brian Redban' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-12-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #889 - Brian Redban' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-12-24. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #889 - Brian Redban

Why were you looking at me so sly, Jamie?
You made me nervous.
You made me nervous.
I was like, what is he doing?
Is he playing?
Are we already live?
We're fucking live.
So I tweeted something today that somebody tweeted me, or I read that somebody
tweeted,
so I quoted it, but it wasn't right.
God damn it.
It's pretty close.
That Donald Trump will be 70 years old in six days?
Is that what it is?
Seven months and six days.
Seven months.
70-year-olds, 70 years old, seven months, and six days.
Almost 70 years old, seven months, and seven days when he becomes a president.
And he won by 77 electoral votes from seven electors.
Wow.
Happy seventh anniversary of the JRE, too.
This is basically it.
Yeah.
Pretty close.
Tomorrow.
Yeah.
How crazy is that?
That is crazy.
That's a lot of sevens.
A lot of sevens.
Why are you obsessed with sevens?
Like, why is your shirt?
It came from the JRE.
One time, we were talking about how we were in a simulation theory and how
everything's made
out of ones and zeros, and I said something like, I'm going to hack it, I'm
going to start saying
sevens or something.
I can't even remember what it was, but it's all from that.
So this is your shirt that has all sevens in it.
Yeah, it's all made from sevens.
This is just a bunch of different color sevens to make the artwork.
And this sweatshirt is the Squad 7-11 shirt.
Why sevens, though?
I don't know.
It came from the JRE from a long time ago.
But just out of nowhere.
Out of nowhere.
I have no idea why.
Imagine.
Imagine if that's proof.
If, like, people look back on this and they realize there really is a
simulation.
Yeah.
You tap into it.
You make things happen with your own brain.
I think the older I get, the more crazy I get because I believe it more.
You know, like, I start feeling like I go crazy sometimes.
I don't necessarily think it's crazy.
I think it's crazy to think that it's impossible that it's a simulation.
Because, like, just think about what we're doing, right?
Just think about the—just if no one was in this room but us.
Obviously, we're doing a podcast, but if no one was in this room other than us,
we're looking at each other through our eyeballs.
We're thinking about it inside of our brains.
We're assuming that we're all operating in the same area.
I'm assuming you see what I see.
I'm assuming, like, what I think of as the reality around you is what you—
but I have zero evidence other than photos.
And, again, I'm looking at those photos, and my interpretation of those photos,
who knows what you're seeing?
I have no idea what you're seeing.
Then we're dealing with language, trying to formulate words that match your
thoughts,
and they almost never do.
Like, that's one of the number one problems that people have with politicians,
right?
We know in some weird way that their words and their thoughts are not in sync.
Like, we want your words and your thoughts to be in sync.
But it's fucking hard to do, man.
It's like one of the unspoken things about being a person is how fucking
difficult it is
to get your thoughts to come out the way you're feeling them with your words.
It's very hard to do.
You can make something that's so eloquent and articulate, and it would be
amazing to read,
and it's a quote that people might have on their fucking Instagram page for the
next decade.
But did it really represent what you were thinking?
Or was it just a clever collection of words that strikes an effect?
So when people are just talking, not like reading someone's writing or
something, but just talking,
like, man, it's fucking hard to get your brain, like what's coming out of your
brain,
to be represented by your voice.
That alone is way weirder than the fact that this is all fake.
That's way weirder than a simulation.
Right.
Just communicating, just shit we totally take for granted.
Then the fact that you can do it online.
I mean, how many of these fucking dudes have these YouTube channels,
and gals have these YouTube channels where they have fucking millions of people
paying attention to them?
And it seems like, for the most part, like Hollywood hasn't even figured it out
yet.
Like, they've dabbled in it.
They've given people shows like that Adam Ruins Everything guy, right?
He was a YouTube guy.
He's so great.
He's fantastic.
It's a funny fucking show, too.
He's really good at it.
And he's a gamer.
He twitches all the time.
Good for him.
I went on a marathon the other day watching it.
But then there's other people that are bad,
like the guy from yesterday that was thrown off the Delta airline.
What happened with that?
So here's what happened, and then we found out that he's done this before.
He pretty much goes on airplanes and trolls.
And he counts in Arabic, like 10, 9, 8, 7, and does shit like that.
And he's done it before.
There's videos of him doing it before.
So he pretty much just freaks everybody out, like, why is this guy counting
down?
You know, it's like if anyone was on an airplane and counting down, it would
still be weird.
Yeah, we need to, like, for pranks, we need to figure out, like, what's a prank
and what is fucking with people's lives for a short amount of time.
Yeah.
Because the only way, like, it goes legit is if the people have good nature and
at the end they sign off on a release, right?
Right.
They have to sign off on a release for YouTube videos as well?
If there's any money attached to it, I would say yes, but I'm not a lawyer.
I wonder, yeah.
I wonder how that works.
But when you're scaring the shit out of people like that on a plane, like, you
could really fuck with their head.
Like, I mean, I know you're a young fucking crazy guy who's fearless, who does
those kind of videos, and you think it's funny.
But you've got to realize there might be, like, some grandma behind you.
There might be a five-year-old girl.
There might be, you know, a dude who has, like, some serious tension issues.
It's not nice.
You know, it's not funny enough for us to accept that.
It's like, but these boundaries get tested sometimes by, you know, really, in a
lot of ways, brave performers.
It's a brave thing to do.
It's not smart.
It's not a good thing to do.
It's not thoughtful.
But it's hard to do that.
It's hard to go on a fucking plane and start counting down from 10 in Arabic
and hope that nobody beats you to death before you, you know, you say, hey, I'm
just fucking around.
Just a YouTube video.
But it's also gross as fuck when you sell it yourself as, like, oh, my God,
they're doing this to me.
They're so racist when you're kind of trying to get that, you know?
You're baiting them, and you've got proof that you've done it before.
Yeah, that's not cool.
It's gross.
That's just gross.
But we're talking about it, so he wins.
I mean, really.
Man, it just seems like people want to figure out a way to get in, you know?
And there's so many people, like we were talking about, like that Adam guy or
so many other ones that have just a giant segment of the viewing population
already.
You know, there's a lot of these channels that people have that people are just
addicted to, like, listening to these people talk about shit.
And for you to try to break in and make your own channel, it's weird, right?
It's like there's still people that are doing it in the network way.
There's still shows that are on network television that work like that, that
are prank shows and shit like that.
Most of them are fake, luckily, you know, on YouTube, and even in real life, or
they're, you know, fake reality, whatever, where they're half real.
You see too much these days.
Like, there's too much coming in.
I watched this guy sucker punch a grandma.
Oh, God.
It was a video where this old lady was behind this young dude, and she was
apparently bothering him.
And so he turns, or their cash register line, he turns and sucker punches her
full on in the face.
It just knocks her dead.
And she falls back, and no one does anything about it.
It's really weird.
The cashier freezes up.
The guy behind her, who's an old guy, freezes up.
And this, no one knows what to do.
It's weird.
I shouldn't have seen it.
It's like, why do I want to know that there's a circumstance where some young
guy feels like he could sucker punch some, looks like, 80-year-old lady.
And I'm not kidding.
She's, like, white-haired, and it doesn't look fake.
It's not.
That shit's the shit that bugs me the most.
And it's just these kids.
You know, they have no parents.
I saw Bieber the other day.
I had a horrible incident with Bieber.
And it was one of the worst things I wish I never saw in my life, because I
used to always kind of, like, root for him a little.
You know, like, he seemed like a nice guy, especially after the roast.
He seemed like a cool guy down to earth.
But, man, how he treated, like, this old guy and, like, how he was treating the
staff at this place I was at, it was one of the worst things I ever saw.
I had to leave.
Normal me would be recording, oh, let's sell this TMZ or do something crazy
like that.
It was so gross, I just wanted to get out of there.
I deleted all my tweets while, because I was live tweeting while I was there at
the beginning, but then it got so bad that I just deleted all my tweets.
And I was, like, then he yelled at me.
Why?
Because I had this dolphin hat on.
And he goes, hey, you like dolphins, man?
You love dolphins, bro?
Like, doing shit like that to me.
And I'm just, like, I go, yeah, I like to fuck dolphins, dude.
Like, I just start yelling at him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah, I went crazy.
You got a little crazy right there.
Yeah, yeah.
True story, and you could ask my girlfriend.
When I, like, he got quiet after that for, like, three minutes.
And then, like, the table of guys that he was with were just staring at me.
And when I was walking out, he just screams all of garden.
True story.
I promise you.
Okay.
So now I'm, like, does he know who I am?
And that's why he was fucking with me?
Did he find out who I was after I yelled at him and he shut up?
Or what?
But it's weird.
You're going to have to live with that question forever.
I don't want to ever know the answer to it.
You're going to have to.
That question will haunt you.
But the horrible thing about it was that he was really treating people like
shit.
That's super unfortunate to hear him.
This old guy was staring down, like, please don't talk to me anymore.
Please don't talk to me anymore.
Like, you could tell he was just.
Yeah.
What is he, like, 21 or something?
I don't know.
I didn't even think it was him.
We thought it was, like, 14-year-old kids for, like, the first half of the time
we were there.
We were like, wait a second.
That tattoo looks familiar.
And then I was Googling Justin Bieber, back of his neck.
Don't ever do that.
That's gross.
And then it was the exact same tattoos, like, wings and, like, this, like,
weird writing.
I was like, holy shit, that really is him.
Hmm.
How many people, and this is a legitimate, honest question,
how many people have ever gone through the fire of becoming famous when you're
young and come out okay?
Has anybody?
Jodie Foster, right?
But I don't know her.
She might be crazy as fuck.
Yes.
Right?
She's a really good actress.
She's a cutter.
Who knows, man?
Who knows?
She was really famous, really young.
Like, how old was Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver?
I want to go, like, super young.
I want to go, like, teenage years.
19.
I'll say 19.
What would you say?
Oh, 15.
15?
Wow.
She played a 12-year-old.
She was 13 when the movie premiered.
Holy shit.
Shit.
Holy shit.
She played a prostitute at the Tinder age.
Oh, my God.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I didn't know that.
That's true.
Dude, they made her play a prostitute at 12 years old.
What a mind fuck that must be.
You can't do that anymore, right?
No.
You can't do that anymore.
Do you remember in that movie, Cape Fear?
Yeah, that's her, dude.
That's 13.
That's insane.
You remember in that movie, Cape Fear, when Robert De Niro had, uh, what was
her name?
Juliette Lewis?
Yeah.
Suck his fingers