Name: Joe Rogan Experience #895 - #WhoIsFat Weigh-in - Day 2
Uploaded: 2017-01-04T01:17:57.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #895 - #WhoIsFat Weigh-in - Day 2' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #895 - #WhoIsFat Weigh-in - Day 2' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-04. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #895 - #WhoIsFat Weigh-in - Day 2

of young jamie hashtag who is fat hashtag is fat did you tweet it yeah that's
what's up
we're live we're live in front of three tonino's pizzas uh if you're in woodland
hills california
i highly recommend tonino's get a smell off of that bitch get a smell off i
smelled it when i
came in oh they're legit as um no affiliation no sponsorship they're just good
pizza all right
folks this is today's day two if you didn't tune in to day one tom segura and
burt kreischer made
a bet the bet is whoever can lose the most weight uh over was going to be over
a three-day challenge
it's been reduced to a two-day challenge thank god yeah and uh tom got down
from 267 to 219 which is
fucking staggering so how about a nice round of applause for tom winning
yesterday and how about
a round of applause for burt 221 pretty close and staggering as well both you
guys amazing job so
today is day two i know you're burnt out you're dehydrated totally man so let's
just cut the
shit and get right to the way we're going right to the fucking way i should
weigh in first because i
have a feeling that okay don't be a don't be scared okay folks jesus oh by the
way we did the uh height
tests uh because ari shafir who was supposed to pay if they got below 227 are
supposed to pay for their trip
the loser has to shave their beard and the loser has to pay for the winner's
trip of their choice
unless they can get down to 227 in which ari shafir agreed that he was going to
pay but now ari is
balking and he's saying that they have to be uh their their height has to be
measured because the
body mass index would indicate that they have to be a certain height or they're
obese it was really
weird so we we tested the heights okay um uh tom is just under six feet tall
and for all you assholes
let's say i'm five foot two we tested me too i'm five eight and a cunt hair um
and bert is taller than
tom so bert's good you're about six one so the body mass index i think dude you
look good get on here
get on here you might have it all right so bert was at 221 yesterday you look
significantly thinner today
i feel i'm hurting okay he's hurting let's see he's getting on the scale
220 220 220 for bert for one pound one pound less one pound i think tommy's got
it here let's see here
fuck say goodbye to my beard say goodbye to hollywood
he's going to paris gain weight please have gained weight please have gained
weight
you fucking do 16 tom gets it running away ladies and gentlemen we have a
winner
in the hashtag who is fat contest the winner is tom segura down to 216 pounds
outrageous outrageous
coconut water c20 coconut waters must be consumed now get those electrolytes in
your system boys uh well
done well done amazing effort it's not easy to lose weight it's really not easy
to lose it the way you guys
did it two days in a row man crazy that was the that was that yet today was the
hardest workout i've ever
had i ran eight miles lost one pound that's crazy that's it i think my body was
like in shock that's
what happens that's what happens to fighters it shuts down so have a seat guys
pull it off
i've been thinking about that drink this entire day we got a beard we got a
beard trimmer over there
charging up you should probably uh shave your beard after you have some pizza
yeah i mean have a live a little i'm gonna have a hard time eating pizza with
this fat face
it's not gonna look good how do you sell that weight man you're not so fat yeah
you look pretty
skinny today man you did you do look significantly skinny to skinnier today i
don't know man i think you
a little distended yesterday with that pulled pork in your stomach from the
night before the night
before the weigh-ins collard greens pulled pork yeah well he got you bird you
know what i want though
seriously what is that long strand dna i have like that long strand dna i have
that mickey mantle gene you
got that mickey mantle gene i gotta be honest with you derek jeter you showed a
little mickey mantle today
how did you get down to 216 what did you do different do you know what's so
funny you lost another three
he said something in passing and that's what i did what but i just didn't
acknowledge it he goes uh
i should go to burke williams and just sweat it out in the spa that's what i've
been doing for two days
i put alboline all over my body oh that's good and then i just sat in the steam
room yesterday and
today good move yep here i'm running 10 miles so you didn't uh you didn't drink
any water nothing
no i did hot bath last night i did a two and a half mile track last night then
i did uh well i'm saying
like that's what i built up a sweat doing that then i recovered no water then
hot bath alboline everywhere
no water at all not even a little sip i took a sip before bed that's after the
hot bath jesus christ
yeah but i've also had nothing but distilled water for about six days wait what's
the benefits
of the distilled water there's no minerals yeah it goes right through your body
it's easier to sweat out
your body doesn't like to retain it apparently a lot of fighters do that before
i was so prepared
to laugh my ass off at seeing bert walk into the spot this morning i was i was
waiting for it dude
he said it i was like he's gonna be there i thought i reserved spa time at the
burke
williams at in sherman oaks both days i was like you know what it's better for
me to work it out
like i was like i'll be healthy i'll work it out and i'll sweat it out and then
like mile five i stopped
sweating well here's the thing about this whole working it out stuff you're not
losing any fat over
the next day you know like it's it's really just dehydration and you might be
it might have been
better off just sweating it out than running it out i knew i hit my baseline i
mean i wasn't doing
this week leading up to it i just did right night before weigh-ins right so or
morning before you
know yeah that's the way to do it what did you what did you did you weigh
yourself when you got
before when you got to burke williams no they didn't have a scale there oh no
but i weighed myself
when i was not on a scale at a spot i don't know i would have definitely
weighed myself there and then
i knew what i knew what like i knew what i weighed when i woke up yesterday and
then i knew what i weighed
here and i knew that what i had done to cut that weight wow so i just kind of
repeated there was no
way well i'll tell you right now there's i i feel i feel like i was bested all
around because there's no
way i could have gotten to two i would have had to gotten to 214 to win yeah i
couldn't have done that
you would have to go below that yeah because you would have to lose by more
than two pounds you
had to lose more than two pounds because he beat you by two pounds yesterday so
it would have to be
like more than that well it's clear now because you won both there's no
controversy how you feeling
bro i feel great i want to give a shout out to god without him and nothing's
none of this is possible
and then uh uh jake smith thank you jake who's jake uh he's a fighter who gave
me all this insight on
i'm gonna prep for this oh cool jake cool jake go fuck yourself jake smith
shout out to pizza anybody oh my god can you do this yeah i can do this
do you want uh pepperoni or do you want pepperoni and mushrooms all right get
in there boys get in
there jesus christ tommy think you hadn't eaten in two days both of you guys
hadn't eaten in that well
tommy has been eaten clean for a long ass fucking time not just two days i
haven't had pizza in
fucking forever get us some uh yeah there you go young jamie on the ball with
paper towels this is
some legit pizza too by the way oh fuck oh yeah this is one of the rare times i
think it's okay to
eat pizza into the microphone because uh people need to appreciate the
sacrifice that you two went
through as i eat pizza through the the last few hours were really the fucking
worst man really like
i mean from waking up i got up first of all i woke up with cramps at 3 30. bad
bad leg like behind the
knee here on the outside and then a little calf cramp that kept me up for like
40 minutes i considered
like you know you start thinking about maybe i should drink some water and yeah
it's a dehydration clamp
yeah you think you know you could drink a whole one of these and you still
would have won by three
pounds well i didn't even i don't know you probably could have drank four of
them and still one
i was just like fuck and then you go and then i was just counting down the
hours so i spent the
you know i get my son with christina we spend time with them do breakfast i'd
look and it'd be like
7 30. i was like oh 8 30 9 30. just counting it down man and then in that in
that spa sweating out
doing like 10 minutes in five minutes out 10 minutes in five minutes out every
time and then i'm in there
alone and the attendant comes in with a big glass of coal he says i thought you
might want a glass of
water and he handed me a cold glass of water that motherfucker and you look
like a psycho pouring it
away out oh well i waited for him to leave and i threw it away like angrily
threw it away just pissed
that i can't drink it yeah i was just you you really get to the place like
today on the treadmill
i was literally chewing ice and spitting it out into a shirt and i thought i
know what those people
feel like when they dive deeper in the ocean they go there's fresh water 10
feet below you know those
people that lose their minds out to sea you ever heard of those people no what
they think there's
fresh water below yeah people who are stranded at sea there's you always hear
the guy that's like
he's like jumps in and he's like guys there's fresh water 10 feet below and
they dive down below and
drink water sea water and die go crazy i know that feeling like i know i don't
know it to that extent
but man i can i could empathize with it on that treadmill today i was like i
was like i just want
i just want to cheat i want water i want water so bad can you imagine the mind
of being
surrounded by water as far as the eye can see and you're dying of thirst i
remember that remember i
survived that series yeah man it's phenomenal if people haven't seen it they
did a series where
people who are in like extreme life-threatening near-death situations and made
it like sometimes
they were you know kidnapped assaulted sometimes they're an accident sometimes
they're stranded at sea
and there was one where this guy they were stranded off some somewhere in the
coast some gulf of mexico
and boat overturns and it's just this guy and his buddy and he said like you
know he's telling the
story and as it progresses he's seeing his friend kind of slip away and the
friend eventually drinks
ocean water and he's telling him not to do it but he's so far gone and then it
just accelerates the
friend's death and the friend died what happens when you drink ocean water you
go crazy your body craves more
water it's just i think i think i think it makes you salt i think it makes you
actually go crazy
whoa i've seen it well i think growing up in florida there's you always hear
stories of the opposite
effect you you it doesn't hydrate you you know so how crazy yeah just a little
salt anybody want
more pizza you know you do get in there it's one time you already won it's one
day i'm fat you're not
i'm so fat you lost a lot of weight burt you should yeah plus you're an inch
taller yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah you're super tall i'll take that one thanks buddy sure this pizza really
is phenomenal
so how do we shame ari if he uh decides to welch out on this bet he will he's
going he's going to
you think so yeah well i'm just gonna state right now that i'm paying for it
whatever um whatever
the cost is for uh the trip come on man i will take care of it well you guys
are on my podcast
i feel like uh oh and uh ari yeah he doesn't know me anything fuck it he'll
give me some weed
you caught me yesterday after the podcast and on ari rage you're bringing in a
ruler t