Name: Joe Rogan Experience #913 - Christopher Ryan
Uploaded: 2017-02-08T01:05:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #913 - Christopher Ryan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-02-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #913 - Christopher Ryan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-02-08. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #913 - Christopher Ryan

doo doo five four three two one young jamie gave me the fake gun pointy fingers
so we're live chris
ryan how are you brother good to see you man i'm live it's good to be live joe
you haven't gotten
any of this interdimensional child molester weed yet i've been probed i don't
know who was doing it
but somebody was probing me interdimensionally i'll tell you that we were just
about to talk
about getting alex jones high on the podcast before we started and i said save
it you gotta
save that well see i'm not that tuned into who he is i i just hear you know
occasionally alex jones
is this right wing conspiracy guy and i never listened to him so i saw he was
on your show and
i was working at home doing some shit around the house so i put it on youtube
so i could actually
see him like doing this taking his things off the headphones on and off and oh
my god and like for
the first hour hour and a half i was like fuck this guy about half of what he
says actually kind of
makes sense to me and he's obviously really smart right high iq off the fucking
charts no doubt
but then he would just veer off occasionally and the more weed and whiskey got
involved the more it
was just like this is performance art this is just nuts this is beyond nuts
once he started right
right before the podcast started man i want to get a drink and he went into
there and he he had some
whiskey did he have some whiskey before i got here i think might have been
right as you got right as i
already so i was already here and he's like before we get started let me get a
drink real quick and he
went back and i had a drink with him i'm like listen i'm not going to let him
drink alone we're going
to do this right but it was a dangerous proposition because eddie bravo was
here and eddie bravo
is mexican and uh joey diaz says that mexicans are basically uh native americans
which he's right
you know like there's next there's mexicans that were native americans that
bred with the spanish you
would know more about this having lived in spain yeah and so that's why yeah i
mean so and i've bred
with mexicans and spaniards i'll breed with anyone well not breed but attempted
breeding i've gone
through the motions yeah but you know they look like some of them look like
people from spain and
some of them look like native americans it's kind of interesting like mexico is
a kind of really
diverse sort of a genetic line um but so you know the old stereotype about
native americans that you
you get them drunk and the indian goes fucking crazy well eddie bravo who's mexican
joey diaz is
always saying you get them drunk that fucking indian comes out and that is
exactly what happened yeah so
we got eddie drunk and he just went off the fucking rails with he thinks the
government's spraying shit
in the sky and he's been saying it forever so so much so that he's constantly
he's got like this
confirmation bias thing where he's constantly looking to confirm so he just
like had this agenda that he had
to talk to alex jones even after he talked about interdimensional child molesters
right and obama's
he's so crazy oh he's awesome but i think people got a chance to see what i see
in him because like
everybody's like how could you be friends with alex jones i'm like i'm telling
you he's a great guy
he's a great guy he's a lot of fun and he's right about a lot of shit
well the thing all right somebody emailed me this morning and they're like uh
you know because i'd
said i tweeted like hey this guy's actually making sense and they were like
dude he's like a he denies
the sandy hook massacre is that true i don't know is that true that's horrible
if that's true
that's it i mean that's the kind of thing that for me it's like if he's denying
that then fuck that
guy he's saying you know obama's mother was a cia sex worker that's just funny
but the i mean i don't know you know what i think this is my my take on him and
i like i said i love
this guy dearly um i feel like he's a high high power corvette engine yeah but
some of the spark plugs
they're not totally connected yeah so like the obama's wife is a cia you know
that obama's mama
is a cia sex slave and sandy hook and we've got the documents there's a few of
those things that get
through where maybe if he had someone next to him going let's look at this
objectively right isn't
it possible that this could be the case or isn't it possible that that could be
the case and it's
the opposite what he's got is millions of people saying yeah give us more of
that right you know
people fucking love conspiracy theories they love them they love them and you
know see this is where i
was i was surprised to be agreeing with him because because we do live in a
conspiracy it is a
conspiracy modern civilization is a fucking lie so i agree that you know where
he's saying like
you know we're being he was talking about sort of i think he gets into lizard
people and that kind of
thing i don't think he does no he doesn't get into lizard people all right well
that's david ike
oh okay i i get into uh super organisms like i think we're embedded in a super
organism you and
i've talked about this before i think and that's why we as a species are doing
things that are detrimental
to our own interests as individual human beings because we are embedded in the
super organism just
like our bacteria is embedded in us and you know you think the super organism
the earth itself like
what do you know i think it's it's technology me too yeah yeah yeah yeah it's
so uh i mean you and
i and duncan talked about this a bunch and we're doing the shrimp parade thing
you know like because
i see i see it as the end of humanity and that is a negative thing because i
kind of like i like the
way we lived for 200 000 years embedded in the environment like other animals
and pretty fucking happy and
living in the moment and all that you know yeah uh whereas duncan thinks it's
great that we're
spreading out into the universe and you know even if we stop being humans to do
that which is yeah
it's a it's a fascinating conversation so anyway i'm crazy too is my point
right so i think there's a
certain amount of craziness that's uh that's certainly called for i don't think
you're crazy i think
you're looking at like you're extrapolating you're just looking at what's going
on and i mean it's
really clear what you're saying is absolutely correct we're not operating in
the best interest
of the species right if we continue do you see this new crack in in the fucking
antarctica holy
shit yeah it's grown over the last couple of months by like a mile and that
thing's like the size of
delaware or something enormous and if it breaks off foxville just a gigantic
floating iceberg like the
size of a state that might just you know head to hawaii and fucking crash into
it look at this
shocking animation reveals how massive how a massive antarctic crack has grown
17 miles in the last
two months hold on scroll back and it's inevitable go back uh and experts say
it's now inevitable that
it will create one of the biggest icebergs ever seen holy shit inevitable the
size of jamaica
oh my god oh my god look at it oh jesus christ
yeah it's so scary it would be so scary to see like a floating state in the
ocean and fukushima the
radiation's worse than ever ever yeah and they don't know what to do yeah they
have no idea how to
contain it not all problems are solvable no yeah well that fukushima scares the
shit out of me because
they don't really know how to shut off a lot of those ancient power plants the
ones that they first
created essentially they just have to keep running like whoever the fuck let
yeah whoever the fuck let
them do that it's so crazy they don't know how to shut them off well see so
much of technology is based
on this idea that you know when we need when we face the problem we'll have an
answer to it you know
like this disposal of nuclear waste right well we'll figure that out we'll
shoot it into space or
we'll be you know they kind of have they've kind of figured out a way to turn
nuclear waste into
batteries they turn it into diamonds that last for like they embed it into
diamonds and it can last
what was it the the technology the batteries can last thousands of years really
oh it's amazing
well let's get on that well there was uh who which podcast was it that we were
doing where someone
was talking about a young scientist do you remember who was where they were
talking about a young
scientist that has these uh incredible ideas uh oh yeah i was there i met him
that was the one i did
in 2012 or 11. he he does this little reactor in the backyard what's that jimmy
we've done too many
podcasts yeah but it was it was fairly recently just go over the fairly recent
podcasts and vice did a
thing on him that's it was shane smith there you go damn perfect yeah it is
yeah shane smith from vice
yeah um so maybe he's right or maybe people are right that we will come up with
technology that's going to be able to figure out a way to solve these problems
well but it doesn't
see that's the thing here we are fukushima we don't have the technology we don't
know how to
solve it and now's when we need it yeah you know or a year ago or you know and
dump it we've been
dumping nuclear waste in the sea there it is radioactive diamond batteries
making good use of nuclear waste
so they're going to have these diamond batteries that last for thousands of
years
which is really incredible because what shane smith was saying is essentially
we have enough nuclear waste to power the
earth for thousands of years power civilization like we literally stop we can
stop all production of
batteries and all the different things that we're doing coal here's where we
get into conspiracy
again they won't let us do it they'll shut that down because you know we'll
lose jobs
like right now they're trying to open coal mines again for sake you know who's
they coal miners coal mine
unions and coal mine presidents and the guy you know exxon that guy from exxon
who's going to be secretary of state
tillerson wonderful that's the guy who said what's the point of saving the
earth if humans have to suffer
is that what he said yeah smart guy
what a ridiculous person anyway so well i don't want to drag us down no no no
no no we're not this
is not depressing um yeah i think we're right though that what you're saying
about technology and about
we're serving technology i mean i've been saying this for a long time that i
essentially think that
what we're doing is giving birth yeah we're we're a larva form yeah yeah we're
like some sort of a
butterfly that's gonna you know emerge or you know we will be a butterfly and
we're a caterpillar
right now yeah we're creating iphones and i'm a caterpillar going god damn it i
i like this caterpillar
stage but you know i don't want to lose it don't you think those single-celled
organisms like guys what
are we doing we're branching out we're joining together with other cells that
man i like being by
myself i like being essentially immortal immortal single-celled squid it could
be but you know some
when you're you're uh advancing stage requires the destruction of your entire
environment and all
the other species as well that's kind of it is but i don't know if it's all the
species
i think rats will be fine if you watch that netflix documentary on rats yeah no
i saw you posted some
shit and i was like yeah i don't want to see that jesus it is amazing it is no
rats will be fine
keith richards will be fine yeah yeah cockroaches yeah but i mean 25 of the
species have gone extinct in
the last generation something like that well that always happens though see
this is not not at this
rate no i mean this is a mass extinction event but there's always been mass
extinction events there's
been a ton of them and there's 90 of everything that's ever lived is dead
everything that ever
living organism but that's obscuring the the reality right the the rate of
extinction right now due to
human intervent