Name: Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - March 12, 2017
Uploaded: 2017-03-13T04:16:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - March 12, 2017' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-03-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - March 12, 2017' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-03-13. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - March 12, 2017

Go! Go live.
It's true.
Five, four, three, two, one.
That's a nice chair.
All right, we're not waiting for Brian Callen any longer.
We're watching these fights.
These fights already happened.
Eddie Bravo's here.
Hola.
Hi.
Of course, Brendan Schwab is in the house.
Hola.
Hola.
The UFC from Fortaleza, Brazil, last night.
I did not watch it.
I know none of the results.
I'm so proud of myself.
I've never done this before.
So we're going to watch these.
Brian Callen pretended.
He forgot what time it is.
And he pretended that his phone didn't automatically update.
Like, whose fucking phone doesn't automatically do Daylight Savings Time?
Bitch, your phone switches over.
Your phone knows what's going on.
Bitch, most of us have an Apple iPhone.
Mine automatically did it.
Every Android does, too.
He didn't say that, kiddie.
We'll see what he comes up.
I had no idea there was a time change.
I'm more excited for the story.
I looked at my watch, and I was like, why is my watch wrong?
Yes.
Like, I knew my watch was wrong.
Like, anyway.
No, like, I just used my phone, and I'm like, oh.
I'm like a farmer.
I knew because the sun wasn't up.
Because my kid wakes up, you know, early as fuck.
And I was like, what?
It is not 7 o'clock, man.
Because the sun would be out, you know?
Eddie, do you know any of the results?
I know one fight.
You son of a bitch.
Of course he does.
Of course you do.
Your boy.
Yeah, don't even say nothing.
Don't say nothing.
And do you know any of the results?
No.
I watched the prelims, and I was good.
And I was lucky because I had boxing.
Lemieux versus Stevens, which was a fucking fight.
Damn.
I heard it was a great fight.
Some dude got so murked.
Yeah?
Stevens got murked so bad by a left hook.
Oh, you just told me.
You just told me what happened.
You son of a bitch.
Oh, fuck, man.
You asked me.
Oh, fuck, bro.
Come on, man.
HBO Boxing.
Oh, shit.
Dude, he was out.
I don't know.
Hopefully he's alive.
Lemieux killed a guy.
He can crack.
He can crack.
Both of them can.
And it was.
And Lemieux came in heavier, and people were like, oh, he might be out of shape.
And they, when you talk about a high-level fight, championship fight, and dudes
were, I mean, they were like, fuck 12 rounds.
Wow.
It was fun.
The fight before that, terrible.
Really?
Awful.
What was that fight?
Aw, I forget the guy.
It was a horrible fight.
Even Max Kellerman and Lambert were like, God, why, we apologize.
Wow.
They were apologizing?
They were like, that was a snooze fest.
Hopefully this one lives up to it.
And it did.
I never apologized.
I don't think I've ever apologized for a fight.
That's rough.
I've never heard a guy apologize for a fight.
They were just kind of clowning on it.
Oh.
Like, after sitting through that, thank God for this fight.
You know, you guys would never do that.
Ever, right?
I don't think so.
I mean, it would have to be something that would have to be really wrong.
But there have been some fights that were really crazy.
Do you remember that Nate Quarry fight where the dude he was fighting from The
Ultimate Fighter?
God damn it.
I forget the fellow's name.
But he was literally running away backwards.
He had broken his foot or something.
Caleb Starnes.
Caleb Starnes.
Thank you.
Literally, like, backpedaling.
And then Nate Quarry starts doing some crazy thing where he puts his hand up in
front of his face and he's just walking towards him, like, going like this.
He's, like, mocking him.
At least that was fun, though.
And then the dude gave him two fingers, but he was just not engaging.
It was real weird.
Was that the end of the guy's career?
Caleb Starnes.
It was downhill from there, for sure.
Well, Caleb went to fight in some other organizations, I believe.
He's good friends with Tate because they were on the same season.
Was that season two?
Season two or three.
Canadian fellow, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You were backpedaling against, nothing against Nate Quarry.
I like that guy.
But you think he was fighting TRT Vitor Belfort the way he was backpedaling.
It was, I think he hurt something.
And I think he was like, you know what?
These guys are not paying me enough.
You know?
Because I think that was his argument, actually, after the fact.
They're not paying me enough to engage?
How little he gets paid.
Bitch, you signed up for it.
But I think if you, I think his mind was as soon as he hurt his foot or
something like that, he was like, well, fuck this.
I'm just going to get through these myths.
I can kind of get that.
You know, he's like, I can't hit right now or I can't move right now.
And then you look at your Dr. Bill or whatever.
Not only that, you look at your memory, you know?
Where your memory's going to go.
What's up, Eddie?
Victor, Vitor Belfort did not look like a...
TRT Vitor.
Yeah.
He's definitely clean.
The golden snitch.
The golden snitch is out everywhere.
He gets to Brazil.
Did you see the fucking odds on the fight?
Yes.
I don't know who won the fight.
I don't know a goddamn thing.
But I know the odds were crazy in Kelvin's favor.
It kind of makes sense, though, right?
Three and a half to one.
Yeah.
It makes sense, though.
If you think about Vitor's last fight, it's Gegard, then who Weidman before
that.
Like, he just hasn't looked great at all, especially in that first round.
I have to fucking love Kelvin at 185.
I know people always say, what about your old Romero, bro?
See, I love him.
I don't like him with the top five matchups.
See, I think if he just lifts weights, just gets in, you know, like serious
condition,
I do like him at 185.
That's a big if, though, isn't it?
Because still his reach and everything.
I don't know, man.
He looked pretty goddamn good here.
He looked different.
He looked thick.
I mean, Kelvin's never going to look like a bodybuilder.
That's not his build.
He's like Dan Henderson.
But he's got a warrior's body.
Like, that motherfucker, he could go for days.
But then you add muscle.
To your point, you add muscle.
Then what?
Yeah, Vitor looks so different.
Vitor has that straight up dad TRT bod.
Like, he got off of it, and then just straight dad.
I mean, he still looks scary, but nothing like the Rockhold Vitor.
Rockhold Vitor, for me, top three scariest fighters of all time.
Yeah, I agree.
I was thinking about it last night.
There he is.
Look how goddamn jacked he was.
And quick.
Yeah.
Spinning wheel kicks and shit.
Remember when he beat the brakes off Anthony Johnson?
Yep.
Look at that.
God!
Look at how jacked he is when he threw that wheel kick.
Look at his shoulder.
Holy shit.
Everything.
His abs have muscles.
Don't you wish he was still like that?
Part of me does.
Yeah, me too.
He can go to Ryzen.
No, he should.
No.
He could easily go to Ryzen and get pain.
And do that?
And fight like, yeah, on TRT?
Well, look at what Krokop did.
Krokop went over there.
Krokop's still doing it.
You just gotta wonder how many does Vitor have left?
20 years.
Yeah, he's...
20 years.
But I think these guys on TRT, they can compete way longer than that.
Even 20 years.
I think if you let Vitor take whatever the fuck he wants and let him go over to
Japan.
Oh, he's spinning wheel kicking bitches face off to 60.
Yeah, he's gonna be doing some crazy shit.
But here's the question.
Would he?
Would he be as aggressive if he was fighting another dude on TRT?
Oh, yeah.
You think so?
Think about back in the day.
Think about when he fought Vanderlei when he was 19.
Those motherfuckers were juice monkeys.
Literally, he was so aggressive.
Remember?
No technique.
Just the fucking bodybuilder straight punch like this.
Well, he caught him with a straight left and he was wearing shoes.
Remember that fight?
Yes.
Vitor was wearing wrestling shoes.
Brazilian on Brazilian crime.
If Ryzen sticks around and they become as powerful as Pride was and they just
don't disappear
like a bunch of other shows, there's gonna be an outlet, a very big outlet for
people to retire
from the UFC and get back on TRT.
Like a master's tour?
Yeah.
Yeah, like, you know, jumpstart their career.
Do you know about 1FC's weight cutting program?
Do you know about it?
A little bit.
Rich Franklin was helping with that, right?
Yeah.
Because you want to talk about how they cut a lot of weight.
Yeah.
Those guys, they've got some new innovative way, they think, to diminish the
amount of weight
guys cut.
I don't know exactly how they're doing it, but I think it has something to do
with hydration
tests.
See if you can pull that up, Jamie.
Can you imagine?
One FC.
Okay.
Can you imagine in negotiations, like Rise of Negotiations, they'd say, you
know you
want to do TRT.
Come on, man.
We'll give it to you.
They just have a-
We'll give it to you.
Big screen.
We'll give you the best shit.
We'll hook it up for you.
They have it right there on the table.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, with the needle.
You know how many guys are going to sign that?
They're like, come on.
You'll know you want it.
Alcohol swags.
You'll know you want it.
And just highlights of when they're on TRT.
Yeah, yeah.
Pictures, posters.
We can do this.
The ultimate presentation.
You walk into the room and there's 20-foot-high screens and Vitor, wheel
kicking, rock holding
the head, Bisping's eye all fucked up.
Oh.
Can you imagine the presentation?
They'll just put it the ultimate highlight.
Oh, look, Brian Cowan's here.
Did you lock the door?
Huh?
Lock the door.
Lock that fucking door.
Did you?
Yeah.
Good man.
Dude, I thought it was 530.
Well, sit down.
Have a seat.
What's up, man?
No, no.
No handshake.
Are you sick?
What are you doing?
You knuckling everybody?
No, I just knuckle.
You're a boxer now, right?
You just touched knuckles.
I knuckle, man.
Have a seat, god damn it.
Welcome back.
Put the headsets on.
This is a good fight.
They talked a lot of shit.
The first fight, of course they did.
Well, the first fight, Tim Means hit him with an illegal knee that a lot of us
were unsure
of.
I fucked that one up, too.
I use illegal knees all the time.
See, because he's got one knee on the ground, two hands up, and we're like, ooh.
And here's the thing.
All he had on the ground was a knee.
He actually had even lifted his other leg up, and he didn't even have his foot
on the ground.
So it was like, you know, there was that whole thing of points of contact.
Say you'd have to have at least three points of contact.
He actually only had one point of contact, but if it's not the bottom of your
foot, it
doesn't count.
So that's where it was so confusing.
It's so confusing that even Mark Ratner, when we went to him in the fight,
for clarification on the rules, he said it was legal.
He said it was a legal knee.
And then Big John McCarthy pulls me over and goes, no.
He goes, that's fucking illegal.
I go, okay, it is illegal.
I go, so when you say points of contact, like, if it's only just a knee, if
only the knee
is on the ground, and the foot's not even on the ground, and the other foot's
off the ground,
that's a downed opponent?
And he's like, yes, anything but the soles of the feet.
That's what it should say.
Anything but the soles of the feet.
So my thought was, well, what if some guy shoots a power double on you, right?
And his knee's on the ground as he's sliding in, which it often is.
And you fucking knee him into oblivion as he's moving into that.
It's transition, so it doesn't count, right?
Does it?
No.
Is that a transition?
But that's not really a transition.
I mean, that's a guy making his approach, and you're countering his approach,
and he's
a downed opponent.
He's got a knee on the ground.
He's sliding towards you.
I think that's a downed opponent.
But it would not be the same with a wheel kick.
A lot of times it's behind the air, but it's in transition.
That's a creepy one.
I think it's different, but similar.
Very similar.
Eddie and I have talked about that a million times, because it's the best
position to be
if you get the guy's back.
You see a wheel kick coming, you want to turn your head, right?
You want to turn your face?
And it's like, no, you can't