Name: Joe Rogan Experience #948 - Brendan Schaub & Eddie Bravo
Uploaded: 2017-04-19T02:28:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #948 - Brendan Schaub & Eddie Bravo' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #948 - Brendan Schaub & Eddie Bravo' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-19. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #948 - Brendan Schaub & Eddie Bravo

3, 2, 1.
Brendan Schaub, you've got to say that he's the greatest of all time now.
We're talking about Mighty Mouse.
You've got to say it.
Yeah, we're live.
Oh, we're live?
Mighty Mouse is the greatest of all time.
I agree.
I texted you that, too.
I said, you know what?
I finally agree with you, man.
Mighty Mouse, number one in my book now.
I've seen everybody except Fedor live.
I would have to have seen Fedor live, like, in his prime, to really get a feel.
I feel like Mighty Mouse is better than all of them.
The dude's on so many different levels.
It's like, here's everybody, here's next level shit, and here's Mighty Mouse.
He's so next level.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
If you come in and you're the best striker on the planet, he's still going to
fuck you up.
He'll still fuck you up standing.
He'll take you down and submit you anyways.
If you come in and a world-class wrestler comes in, and he's the best wrestler
in the world,
Mighty Mouse is still going to fuck him up.
And take him down.
Best Jiu-Jitsu guy?
You've got a guy who's just amazing at Jiu-Jitsu.
Mighty Mouse is still going to fuck you up.
Mighty Mouse tapped Wilson Hayes.
Yeah.
Did you hear Wilson Hayes after?
He went, I'd rather get knocked out.
That was so demoralizing.
Yeah, as a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu guy.
I mean, Mighty Mouse, his striking's insane.
His takedowns are insane.
Right, right.
His Jiu-Jitsu's insane.
He's got no weakness.
His confidence is insane.
His work ethic is insane.
His cardio, everything.
The best, the best, the best of all time.
Have you seen the ratings?
Lowest of all time on Fox.
How dare you?
How dare you?
That's not me.
I tuned in.
I fucking love the guy.
You just pulled out your fat hog and pissed right in my cornflakes.
Son of a bitch.
How crazy is that, though?
We need to see him go up in weight.
I think that's the answer.
I know it's obvious Dana doesn't want that.
It's obvious.
We can't, yeah.
But, damn.
Can you imagine him against TJ Dillashaw?
It is really hard.
Can you imagine?
It's really hard to sell an opponent against him other than someone going up.
Or Cody going down.
Cody's talked about going down.
He said he's down.
He says he can make it.
Well, it's not that uncommon that someone just rules a weight class so much
that he goes
up in weight.
They do it in boxing.
Or down.
Up or down.
Yeah, boxing.
Generally, you step up.
Let's see if I can take a bigger dude.
You know what I mean?
Like, Conor's on that level.
He's like, fuck up the 45ers, but I'm going to come up to 55 for the challenge.
BJ did it.
What do you think of this rumor?
Now, I haven't even texted Dana about this.
This UFC 213 rumor.
Have you heard this?
Jimmy Manon?
No, McGregor and Tyron Woodley.
Yeah, I know.
I saw that.
Is that 100% bullshit?
What do you think?
I think it's bullshit.
Where'd that come from?
From what I hear, it's bullshit.
I'm supposed to be utilizing my connection to UFC and Texas.
I heard it's bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I saw Ariel.
You should have a rumor section.
A rumor part of the show.
Rumors are fun, though.
That's the rumor that I heard.
Can you imagine rumors from Joe Rogan?
Dude, just a whole rumor show?
Dude, you'd have the best rumor show of all time.
I had some deep rumors.
I'm pretty sure Ariel shut that down.
But Cyborg, I'm pretty sure Cyborg's fighting at UFC 213 in Anaheim.
She tweeted that out recently.
Oh.
Like, as I was driving over here.
Well, there was something recently where she tweeted out that if UFC doesn't
get her a fight,
let her go.
It doesn't work like that.
Like, I love when fighters do that.
But it's like, hey, if you don't fight me soon, I'm fucking out of here.
You ain't going nowhere, bitch.
Like, you contractually, you have to.
But to defend the UFC here, which is, you know, they offered her fights.
Yeah.
Like, two, and she wasn't ready.
So they're like, dude, we tried.
All right, we'll figure something out.
But, geez, and now you want to take off?
Like, give us a second here.
And in her defense, apparently, I mean, the only way that, like, USADA would
grant her,
there it goes, July 29th.
Yes.
I'm making my first UFC fight in the USA.
So who do you think she fights?
Does she fight Jermaine?
She says.
She fights Durandami?
She says.
Oh, she is fighting Durandami.
What's up, son?
And you know what's cool with that?
Oh, my goodness.
Is EBI is Sunday, July 30th.
Oh, shit.
And this is, you could do both.
Oh, shit.
God damn, dude.
And there's a Big Brown Breakdown Live in Long Beach that Friday, son.
It goes.
We're doing an all-girl.
Rejoice, everybody.
All-girl EBI, July 30th.
Just, oh, shit.
The UFC requested it.
The UFC asked us, can you do an all-girl EBI?
And I said, damn, I thought you'd never ask.
Hell yeah.
Cyborg could probably jump in that bitch.
She's not going to get touched.
She can come in there and just smash all your girls all at once.
She would have to, yeah, you'd have to get someone big.
Nah, just have all of them jump on her.
Be sick.
I go, fucking, King Kong.
Did you see the new King Kong movie?
No, it looks dope, though.
It's dope for a while.
When you're, you know, you let the 12-year-old boy in your brain out, it's fun.
But for that long.
It's really stupid.
I'd be down to see it, though.
But what's his face?
John C. Reilly's in that movie.
He's hilarious.
The guy from Step Brothers?
Yes.
And he's that guy.
In Wreck-It Ralph?
Really?
He's that guy in the movie.
He's comic relief.
Does he play For Your Health?
He plays a dude that crash-landed there.
But does he play the guy from For Your Health?
You ever watch that on Tim and Eric?
Uh-uh.
No.
Dude, John C. Reilly is humongous.
He's so huge, but he loved doing the Tim and Eric show.
You're saying size-wise is huge.
No, no, no.
As a star.
As a star.
Oh, yeah.
As a star.
And then Tim and Eric is a crazy, bizarre, obscure comedy show.
It's fucking nuts.
It's like Key and Peele on Acid.
Yeah.
There it is.
I've seen this.
So he does this show.
Big-ass actor does this show, and he plays a character.
He's like a news host.
Oh, I have seen this.
His name is Dr. Steve Brewer.
Dr. Steve Brewer, of course.
I can't believe I couldn't think of it.
Dr. Steve Brewer.
Look at him.
Dude, he's the funniest guy.
How hilarious is he?
He probably does it for free.
Yes, he don't give a shit.
He's also Wreck-It Ralph, son.
He's one of the funniest guys of all time.
Like, that fucking scene where him and fucking Will Ferrell, not in Step
Brothers, but in
Talladega Nights, when they're discussing Shake and Bake, I mean, come on, dude.
No, what about when he takes over and he's his girl and paints his face over
his?
Yes.
What the fuck are you doing?
He's like, I moved in, man.
He's like, you want to hang out?
He's like, no, we're not hanging out.
How about he calls him up and asks him how to use his stereo?
He goes, why the fuck would you want to watch TV while listening to the radio?
He goes, because I like to party.
That movie's clown.
That guy's got, like, the best timing of all time.
Like, him and Will Ferrell together, you could just have them.
All you need is just get a couple of funny guys to write some, like, loose
format for them
and just let them go wild.
Let them go.
That story.
They might be the two funniest pairs ever.
Dude, he played so serious in that movie, Gangs of New York.
Remember him in Gangs of New York?
That's right.
He was a serious dude.
Nasty dude.
That's right.
He was like the cop.
Daniel D. Lewis scared the shit out of me in that movie.
He scared the shit out of me.
Me too.
I felt like he was really the butcher.
They said he was an asshole on set, too.
I bet.
He was in character, man.
He's one of those, I'm in character, guys.
It's too deep for me.
Yeah, there he is.
That's right.
He played a bad motherfucker in that movie.
Yeah.
That movie, Gangs of New York, is scary.
It's underrated.
Oh, it's so good.
But it's scary because you imagine, like, what life was like if you were born
into that environment.
Because those are real.
Whether or not that exactly happened, how much, I'm sure there's some sort of a
dramatic flair
that they added to the reality of that.
But whatever the fuck it was, there have been places on Earth that have existed
where people hacked each other up
with axes and swords like that.
For sure.
Just when you watch that and you realize, Jesus, that was only, like, you know,
a few hundred
years ago.
Not that far.
Not that far in the past.
Yeah.
Indians and shit, I mean, they would, you know, retaliate, you know, because
white men came
and tried to take their lands.
So the Indians were like, fuck you.
We're going to, we spot a wagon.
We're going to fuck you up.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Oh, savage.
So it was just back and forth.
You had to worry about not just fucking bears and shit, but you got to worry
about Indians,
damn, if the Indians spot you and they want to fuck you, you're done, son.
Dude, there's a lot of cannibalism going on, too, that people don't know about.
They probably love eating white people back then.
Yeah, especially the Nez Purse.
I just saw Steve Rinella told me about all this shit when I was hanging with
him in the
woods when Callan and I went hunting with him.
Yikes.
Are there any stories?
The Nez Purse is terrifying.
Are there any stories?
There must be stories of slaves that escaped and went and hid out with Indians,
you know,
and put on the feathers and stuff like that, put the paint on.
I don't think the Indians would let you in, man.
No, they would for sure stop you.
No, they would understand.
No, they would understand.
Are you kidding?
No.
No, the Indians would be like, they understand.
Indians aren't evil.
They understand that those are slaves.
Those are slaves.
These guys are running for their lives.
There had to be some.
Yeah, they might.
There had to be some.
They didn't get to the tent.
Listen, there was all sorts of stories about mountain men meeting Indians and
falling in
love.
Yeah.
But they didn't fall in love.
Oh, that shit.
I've seen movies.
I've seen movies.
I've seen movies.
Do you think that really happened?
You think Indians?
Well, you know what?
It would have to be a white guy helping the Indians out and being on the Indian
side,
understanding that their hands are being taken.
I got three words for you.
Dances with wolves.
There you go.
You think that really happened?
Kevin Costner.
100%.
Dude, I watched it.
I watched it take place.
I've seen it, man.
It resonated in my mind.
It seemed realer than anything I watched on the news.
Dude, we fucked them up so bad.
We fucked them up so bad.
Just our diseases.
We get like the flu.
And you think that kills 90% of the Native Americans?
We're like, what's up, guys?
Ho-choo!
Dead.
Can you imagine dudes are like, dude, we're escaping.
We're going to go find some Indians and live with them and fuck all the Indian
women.
Dude, can you imagine?
You can't touch the women.
Come on!
Even crazier.
They show up with big-ass dicks?
They show up with these gigantic dicks?
Yeah, you're not coming in my fucking tent with that dick.
Yeah, that's not going to happen.
There must have been problems.
For sure, for sure.
You know what I mean?
There's always problems.
For sure problems.
I just don't think that if anybody came from, like, those Native Americans that
were here
back in that day, like, you know, they were competing with each other, you know?
I mean, there was a lot going on there.
White people like to say that.
They go, dude, they were fighting each other.
Oh, they definitely were.
They definitely were.
So the white people feel better.
That is true, though, right?
Right?
That sounds like something white people would do.
Dude, they were killing each other.
That's true, though.
It's true.
We were just helping them.
But you could just imagine if you were there and you had a cold and you just
watched everybody
die.
Like, you gave them a cold.
Like, you came over on a boat, you got sick, and everybody died.
90% of the people died.
They didn't know, though.
But how crazy is that?
That our