Name: Joe Rogan Experience - Podcast On A Plane UFC 211 Recap
Uploaded: 2017-05-16T04:26:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Podcast On A Plane UFC 211 Recap' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Podcast On A Plane UFC 211 Recap' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-16. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience - Podcast On A Plane UFC 211 Recap

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the post-UFC wrap-up show with Tony Hinchcliffe.
Hey, everybody.
And me, your host, Joe Rogan.
We are on a flight right now, coming back from Dallas, Texas.
Sorry, I accidentally just kicked that lady's chair.
Where we had a great old time at the Verizon Wireless Theater on Friday night.
And then the UFC last night, and now we're headed back.
Shout-out to Ryan, dude we had breakfast with.
Turned out to be all right.
Turned out to be an interesting guy.
I was a little worried about him at first.
Came in strong with a few too many questions.
Get interrupted a little bit.
He was aggressive.
But turned out to be a very good dude.
But you never know, man.
You know?
Yeah.
Just meet some strange dude, have breakfast with him.
Could be rough, but he turned out to be very cool.
I think I snapped at him, though.
I was like, what is this, a questionnaire, bro?
Relax.
Yeah, you snapped him right into shape.
He got nervous and just started asking questions.
But he was a good dude.
He just...
Oh, thank you, man.
The young lady's bringing us the towels.
Thank you.
She's got a crazy accent.
And I don't ever think like this, but Tony was wondering what she would sound
like if she was having sex.
Ooh, la, la, la.
Bye, bubba.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway.
So, we're on the flight back.
I've got to give up my little wet towel.
And, uh...
I take them away so quickly now.
You like to caress the towel?
Yeah, I like to hold onto it for a little bit.
I like it.
I like to feel like it cold.
It was still hot when she took it back.
What is that for?
Like, to refresh you?
Is that the idea?
Yeah.
Or to make you know that you're not in...
You're not in business class or a coach?
Yeah.
Business class, they just give you a piece of toilet paper.
Business class, they treat you almost as good, don't they?
How's that work?
Now, you haven't flown in business class in such a long time, you don't
remember what it's like back there.
I flew coach just a month ago.
That's one thing, like, if you can't afford it.
It doesn't seem like it would be worth it.
But what's worth it is you don't have to think about it as much.
You have more space.
You can relax.
You get off quicker.
You get on quicker.
Yeah.
But people don't like it.
It's weird.
Like, people like Southwest.
I feel like it's an egalitarian airline.
You get on Southwest and, you know, everybody's the same.
Yeah, I'm not into that.
I don't like lining up by the number at all.
I'm not into that.
It's not that bad.
It's effective.
It gets people on board without too much bullshit.
I think it's a good system.
And you can occasionally get lucky, sit next to some fun people.
I met a girl over the weekend that works for Southwest.
And she's all like, she's like, hey, you know, you must travel a lot.
If you ever want, I can get you a discount on Southwest flights.
I'm like, eh, I'm okay.
Sometimes you have to take them, though.
JetBlue's a good airline.
That JetBlue that we flew from Buffalo to New York City.
Yeah, JetBlue's good.
JetBlue's nice.
Yeah.
Virgin's good.
I feel like it's just there's a thing going on where they just decided to shove
as many people into a plane as possible.
Forget about how good the experience is.
But if you work for an airline, I'd have to imagine working for JetBlue feels
better than working for, say, like, United right now.
Like, everybody hates United after that dude got beat up and dragged off a
plane.
Yeah.
Morale is low.
Oh, must be such a bummer.
I mean, I bet, like, flight attendants have to deal with all sorts of mean
people that are snapping at them because that guy got beat up.
Right.
People start, like, making reverse threats.
Like, oh, what are you going to do?
Drag me off of here?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, oh, for sure.
No, I just offered you a bag of peanuts.
Ah.
Yeah, for sure, right?
Yeah.
Like, what a terrible thing to see.
They decided he's already sitting down.
He's already about to fly.
Yeah.
I mean, and they say, nope, you got to get up.
And what's really weird is that, like, one dude made that decision.
He's just a security guy, probably for the airport, probably not specifically
for United.
And he's just like, he's like, he had it with that Asian surgeon doctor guy.
He's like, you know what?
You have too much of an attitude for an Asian guy.
I'm going to drag you out of here.
Is that what happened?
I don't know if it had anything to do, like, I mean, I don't know if it had
anything to do with the Asian guy part, but it felt like it.
I think the story was that they had some important United employees that had to
be somewhere, like, that day.
They had to be somewhere for some sort of a meeting.
And so, in their company, their idea is that these people take priority over
the customer to the point where they, like, physically removed a customer and
beat him up.
I mean, the way they grabbed that guy and he's screaming, like, that is crazy
for someone who's done nothing.
Yeah.
And all that guy did was be a customer.
Like, that's, like, one of the most devastating things you could ever watch.
If you're, like, one of the people that's in charge of publicity for that
company, you'd be like, what the fuck did you guys do?
Yeah.
Like, oh, my God, you beat that guy up and dragged him off the plane so an
employee could steal his seat?
Yeah.
You're inconveniencing him.
You're saying, you're not as important as our employees.
Our employees are more important than you.
Like, that's so crazy that that's their policy.
And for it to be a doctor, like, that part's crazy, too.
Is that what he was?
He was a doctor?
Yeah, he was a doctor or a dentist or something, but he had patients the next
day.
And he's like, I have appointments.
I can't miss this flight.
My patients need me.
Man, that's so crazy.
That's so crazy.
It's just so sad.
Yeah.
It's so sad.
Especially since he paid for it.
Like, that's some really controversial stuff.
Right.
So, if you, like, think of the morale and the way it feels to be on that
airplane versus the way it feels to be on, like, a JetBlue.
You get those nice big seats, little TVs behind the seats.
It's not bad at all.
Right.
So, a good ride.
It's, like, just enough space.
Like, maybe not if you're a big giant person, but for, like, a dude my size, it's
just enough space.
If you had, you met my buddy Justin, Justin Collett in Vegas.
Yeah.
The giant.
Yeah.
He's a legit giant.
He's, like, seven feet tall.
It's huge.
Yeah.
Like, that guy, he can't even sit in JetBlue without being, that's, but those
are the outliers, you know?
Yeah.
JetBlue does the, uh, new flat.
Oh, do they?
Yeah.
I've heard about it.
It's a new thing.
Yeah, man.
JetBlue is, uh, a solid notch up.
Joey Diaz is a big JetBlue fan.
What is it, JetBlue airplane commercial we're doing here?
I think so.
It's not what we were trying to do.
We're on Virgin right now.
Yeah.
Which is my favorite.
But they just got bought by Alaska, so it might be JetBlue.
I wonder what's going to happen.
What do I give a fuck?
It's true.
It doesn't matter.
This is early morning nonsense talk with Joe and Tony.
I thought you guys were going to talk about the fights.
We will.
God, we will.
Getting there.
Warming up.
So, um...
Fight before fight.
When do you think that Ioana and you will go on your first date?
I think it's going to be really soon, is my theory.
As you saw in this fight, when she defended her championship last night, uh,
she's very
into me.
She kept looking at me.
Dude, she did keep looking at you.
Between every round, she made a point to, like, you know, like, I sort of felt
like her
backup corner man.
She looked over at you, pointed to you, and started talking to you at one point.
Yeah.
I was like, this is crazy.
I know.
Even Joe in D.C. turned around at one point.
Like, what the hell?
And she's pointing at Tony and talking to him.
Yeah.
It's hilarious.
And, like, I was, you know, we inspire each other.
Like, she was looking at me, and I'm, like, clapping.
I'm looking at her, like, you got this.
You got this.
That's so crazy.
And then she was doing some sort of an interview before the fight, and she said
something, and
people were laughing, and they were joking around about it.
And she goes, maybe Joe Rogan and Tony Hinchcliffe will take me on the road
with them.
Yes.
She's so funny.
She could be a...
She could do anything she wants.
The way she works.
She's already funny.
Dude, she's a bad woman.
She gave her opponent a piece of cloth cut out to look like a belt that just
said fantasy
across the way.
So she probably did that herself, right?
Oh, totally.
She's, like, in the bathroom and shit at the hotel.
I'm making her fantasy pants.
Yes, exactly.
This is all you get, bitch.
This is as close.
Enjoy your piece of cloth.
But, man, that girl that she fought, Jessica Andrade, what a tank.
Yeah.
That woman is a tank.
It's interesting, man.
The women in that weight class are all very tough.
And they always put up a fight up until the rounds go on.
She just doesn't get any more tired than she does.
You know what I mean?
Like, she does, but she doesn't show it.
And those chicks all start to wear down.
You could see the slightest evidence of it in the last round, that she was
slowing down
a little bit, but still, always on her feet, still moving.
Yeah.
Both of them, man.
They're both in phenomenal shape.
Because you've got to give it up to Andrade.
She took a fucking beating, man.
Oh, yeah.
A beating and kept coming forward.
Yeah.
A lot of front leg kicks she absorbed.
Those whittling little Joanna Polish iron legs.
She had to switch her stance a couple of times.
She switched back and forth.
She's getting that leg chewed up.
She got tagged with some good shots, including a few head kicks.
Yeah.
A lot of head kicks, man.
Yeah.
At least somewhere between 5 and 10 is what I counted.
Those big, snappy head ones and that front snap kick to the chest that she
looks.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
It just makes me cringe.
That would hurt anybody.
Yeah.
It was a really interesting combination of...
And even go to T-Ball.
Oh, Jesus, bitch.
This is...
Now you get to understand why Tony was attracted to her voice.
That's her over the lungs.
But it was a perfect combination of, like, a ruthlessly powerful, attacking,
determined person versus, like, a person who maybe doesn't have as much
physical power
or maybe doesn't have as much pop on their shots, but is a brilliant tactician.
Like, her technique is so good, man.
Her footwork is so good.
She pops that jab out.
The way she, like, slips that leg kick in.
Slap!
You know, like, she's so high-level, man.
And Andrade kept trying to corner her.
She's like, no, not today.
No, we're not staying put.
We're not standing in front of you.
She never really stood in front of her.
She kept moving.
She kept moving.
She kept throwing a lot of, like, just one punches, I noticed Yohana was in the
first
few rounds.
A little bit different than the multiple combinations that I usually see her
throw.
And I was going to yell, like, combinations.
But then I'm like, what the hell do I know?
And I just start yelling, set it up.
Set it up, Yohana.
You know what's interesting, man?
The real high-level kickboxing, like, World Championship Muay Thai and Bellator
and Glory
and all those, like, high-level kickboxing events you see on television, it's
all three-minute
rounds.
And what she's doing is, she's kickboxing, like, massive footwork, but she's
also fighting
off takedown defense, which makes you even more tired, and she's adding another
two minutes.
It's really interesting.
Well, I mean, if I showed you, at least all the fights that I've seen, which is
a
last four or five, whatever, UFC fights, if we took, if we made a compilation
of her
getting taken down, Yohana Janjacek, she pops right back up.
Yeah.
Every single time against Gedalia, against Valerie Letourneau, against everyone.
She has, she refuses to, absolutely refuses to stay down.
