Name: Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - May 28, 2017
Uploaded: 2017-05-28T21:28:58.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - May 28, 2017' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - May 28, 2017' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-28. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - May 28, 2017

I like these two.
Five, four, three, two, uno.
Yes!
Hey, everybody.
I'm still out of breath.
Yeah.
Brendan Schaub and Brian Callan were engaged in some shenanigans.
Sunday Rough House.
Sunday Rough House.
I was trying to chill.
I was poking the bear.
I had too much coffee, and I got into his face, and then he decided to chase me.
I'll be on my Instagram story if you want to watch a couple of tap outs.
Yeah, that was not right.
You got to tap?
Well, I got a fucking huge rug burn on my fucking forehead now.
That's what I'm proud of.
Well, that's what happens.
What kind of shit fucking production is this?
Look at this.
Who's running the cameras over there in England?
They showed Niner in the background.
They're lifting up the fucking curtain that's covering the monitors.
Whoever did that sucks.
This is what happens.
And the UFC got rid of all the old guys.
Now you got new guys over there in England, too.
Or wherever the fuck they are.
Used to soccer.
Stockholm.
Yeah.
So, Eddie Bravo can't be here, folks, because he's on the other side of the
world.
The flat world for him.
That shit is ironic.
The flat world.
The flat world.
Where is he right now?
I don't think he necessarily says the earth is flat.
He's never necessarily said it.
He just says things like, I don't know.
Bro, take a look at it.
When you look into it, if you look into it, I'm not saying it's round.
I'm not saying it's flat.
What's amazing, though, is the angry, flat earth people, when you even post
something like
that.
Oh, my God.
They get so mad.
But don't you think you're being trolled for the most part?
No.
No.
Really?
I think people are that fucking stupid.
I think there's a bunch of meth babies out there.
I think there's a bunch of dummies who were eating nothing but sugar, and they
had kids,
and these kids are stupid as fuck.
That's fair.
You might be true.
It's fair.
It's fair.
I think there's a few trolling, but in general, the mass of those morons, they
believe it.
Well, a lot of people just don't have any idea of any kind of tradition of
where we came
to these conclusions.
So they think that history's starting right now with them, you know what I mean?
There's a lot of laziness, and there's also a lot of confirmation bias.
They have these ideas in their head, and they don't look into them.
They're just not interested in really getting into it.
Well, you know, listening to that debate with Michael Shermer and Randall Carlson
and Graham
Hancock, if you listen to scientists and smart people, they're very careful
about what they
say because they get called out on it.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
And arriving at real conclusions is something they tend to avoid.
They'll just have these big discussions and kind of approximate what probably
happened.
Yeah.
And even in that discussion, you got to see people that got into trouble for
saying something
didn't happen.
And so then as Randall started unveiling more evidence and Graham started unveiling
more evidence,
it was one of those things where everybody kind of had to back up and go, okay,
well,
you can't say it didn't happen because of all this stuff that we know did
happen now.
And so it's very complicated when you start saying you know things.
And when you know almost nothing about science and space and astrophysics and
all the different
shit that you need to know to understand satellites and ice walls and all this
shit.
How about the way our mind works like the Tobalski, what's his name?
Who I just listened to your podcast.
Yeah.
So I listened to a couple of his lectures back in the day on ted.com.
But like when he was talking about all the variables that lend themselves to
how your brain
works and who you are.
And good luck getting to a conclusion.
He's a staunch determinism believer.
Well, not even, I shouldn't say a believer because he's a scientist.
But what his conclusion, I mean, what he's trying to establish with people is
that there's
so many variables that go into you being you.
Biological variables, right?
Biological variables, genetic variables, variables in terms of like what genes
are turned
on by stress when your mother has you in the womb.
Jesus.
Yeah, there's so much shit that goes into you being a person.
And so, you know, what he's saying is that like when we look back on today and
we look
back at people being punished for certain things that they did and being
imprisoned, we're going
to think it's absolutely barbaric.
He's like when real neurologists firmly established the actual science behind
human behavior.
Meaning that we don't really have free will.
We're, our behavior is dictated by our biology and our machinery, right?
Yeah.
I mean, there's got to be some will, right?
Because like, why else are there inspirational memes that strippers put on
their Instagram
page?
There's just got to be some reason why they're trying to rise above.
More than what they're trying to rise above.
They're trying.
They're trying.
And you can get inspired, right?
Yes.
Like, can't, but you see, this is where the free will argument kind of hits a
bump in
the road because you can get inspired by shit.
And when you do get inspired by shit, it can improve your life.
For how long though, right?
Yeah.
Well, it depends.
Yeah.
Make some changes.
What's that old expression?
Is that inspiration is like bathing?
It's effective, but you need to do it daily.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or how about the fact that punishment?
It's the first time I've ever heard that.
Yeah.
Got to read a little bit every now and then.
Punishment doesn't.
I don't put some readings.
That's not, I mean, that's some old school shit, man.
I just found my tattoo.
I'm getting that as a tattoo.
Do it.
You should.
On your dick.
On my dong.
That's a bold move.
Guys tattoo their dicks.
I'll do it.
I'll do it for attention.
For attention.
Never.
Would you, like, what would you do?
Would you tattoo your dick black?
Just all black.
Just a black band.
Half black.
You know how some people do that?
They get like their whole arm black.
That's a weird move.
I wonder, I thought it was because they messed up.
And they're like, ah, I better just cover everything and go black.
But no.
For some people, they do do it for that.
And some people do it because they just want their whole arm to be black.
Yeah.
Some people, bands can look good.
And then there are people that just get random shit, like a Cadillac.
You know what I mean?
Or a doll.
Well, how about Travis Barker?
He's got everything.
You name it, he's got it.
He's like, oh yeah, I got that tattoo.
Just a doodle pad.
He's got a tattoo, a Cadillac tattoo on his neck.
He has a guy, I think he's a guy's cartoon, or I forget the guy's name.
But he'll have two of them working on him at the same time.
Jesus Christ.
Both on his back, just doing work.
Dude's like that run out of canvas.
Like he's kind of running out of canvas.
Yeah.
He's got his head done.
I didn't know his whole head is done.
Jesus.
Top of his whole head is done.
But a lot, I mean, he's had a lot of those tattoos.
But remember, he got in that plane crash, and he had like third degree burns
all over
his body.
Oh yeah.
So I remember he got a lot of them after that.
Wow.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, he covered kind of that bullshit.
Yeah, that was a fucking crazy story.
Insane, man.
He survives with that guy DJ AM, and then the guy kills himself.
He's a drug addict.
Well, he was really fucked up, right?
Drugs, yeah.
Drugs.
But he was a little fine before then, and then goes to the hospital, and then
you're on the
medication, then they relapse.
Yep.
I know a woman who got injured like that, and then she was, they put her on
morphine, and
she has to basically battle a morphine addiction the rest of her life.
You know, she said, I will always be addicted to opiates.
I'll always want heroin.
Well, you don't have to be, but yeah.
Well, no, I'm saying she's got that urge all the time, you know?
Well, you got that urge when you had your nose fixed, right?
Oh yeah.
Yeah, I had an issue.
But, you know.
What's it like?
You just want them all the time.
Like, what is it like when you say you want them?
Like, what's the feeling?
Like, the same feeling as, like, if you crave something, like, you're
constantly craving
it.
Like, God, I'm good right now.
I'd be so much better if I had an Oxycontin, you know?
Wow.
Yeah.
Like this, or we'd be going out, like, it's going to be fun.
It'd be so much fun if I just had one Oxycontin, though.
Wow.
Yeah.
And then you just start doing it next to you, and you're like, damn, I'm doing
this for
everything.
You were just Oxy-ing up.
Non-stop.
Wow.
And they're so easy to get.
Jesus Christ.
So no one ever questioned you when you wanted to get a refill or anything like
that?
No, because the doctor was like, hey, I'm hip, I'm cool, here's, like, 300.
You know, like a shitload of them, yeah.
He liked you because you were a UFC guy?
Yeah, yeah, we were boys, yeah.
Oh, boy.
Here you go, here's 300.
In front of mine to this day, yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Did you ever tell him, hey, fuckface, you kind of turned me into an addict?
No, I kind of blamed myself.
Yeah, well, that's good.
That's healthy of you.
Well, that was like Smashing Machine when they went to do that thing on Mark
Kerr.
Oh, yeah.
They didn't expect, I know the guys that made it, they didn't know it was going
to take
that turn.
Well, they went to get him, like, right when the water went over the top.
Like, right when he crested over the top.
That's the documentary on Mark Kerr?
Yeah.
I've never seen it.
It's really good.
It's insane.
It's really good.
Because they went to document the greatest fighter on Earth.
Because Kerr was this just juice machine.
How long ago was this made?
Shit, man.
Early 2000s?
Yeah, that makes sense.
So Mark wrestled at 188.
That makes sense.
It was actually, I think it might have been, because I remember you and I
talking to him
in 1997 and he was 260.
He had just, he had just kneed that Ranger in the face.
Yeah, Ranger Stott.
Yep.
And then I said, I said, you wrestled at 188?
He said, yeah.
I said, what are you waiting on?
He goes, 260, put a little Miracle-Gro in my cereal every morning.
And I was like, God damn.
Steroids look good on him.
Steroids look very good on him.
Oh, they looked amazing on him.
Yep.
He's gay too, or no?
Is that an accusation?
Well, I don't know.
I hope so.
All I know is I hope so.
I heard some stories in the sauna.
A wonderful man.
A really nice man.
I hope he's gay.
What's going on here?
So who are these gentlemen?
The guy with the writing on his arm.
Herman.
430 right now.
Hermanson.
Hermanson and Nicholson.
And the 428, 427, 426, 425 in round one if you want to sync up.
You look at the fighters on this card and it's a fucking good luck with this
spelling.
Look at him back then.
Look at that.
Jesus Christ.
God, dog.
Look at those delts.
Those delts.
He was so big.
Oh my God.
He was so big.
And he'd wear American flag shorts that looked just amazing.
Yeah, he was.
Oh my God.
They called him the specimen, right?
Well, they started out calling him the specimen, then they started calling him
the smashing machine.
When he fought, I forget who he fought.
He was jacked.
Dan Bobish.
Dan Bobish.
He got Dan Bobish down and he submitted him by shoving his chin in his eyeball.
That'll do it.
He put his chin in his eye socket and just grabbed the back of his neck and
just fucking forced his chin into his eyeball.
Is that the biggest meathead move of all time?
All time.
It's up there.
It's a great meathead move.
It's an official meathead move.
I feel like you could do that bit of a move.
I mean...
No, it's a move for sure.
It's some meathead shit.
But it's a move.
I mean, is it more of a meathead move than the can opener?
Because he submitted a guy with a can opener, too.
I feel like the can opener's a little more technical.
He jacks some dude's neck with a can opener.
How is it more technical?
You're just pulling on a guy's head.
Yeah, but you got to get there in position.
I mean, if you're just staring, like, fuck