Name: Joe Rogan Experience #967 - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2017-05-30T23:17:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #967 - Bill Burr' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #967 - Bill Burr' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-30. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #967 - Bill Burr

five four three two one yee-haw bill burr and we're live you're looking very
slick you look
like a professional man oh i was doing television this morning as i mentioned
to you i i just did
colin cowherd show and i run out of button-down shirts that i could wear on tv
because i always
go button-down jeans and whatever nice pair of shoes i'm not a sport coat guy
but i was just
like i had to like go back and google image myself on the show going what did i
wear last time i
couldn't tell what black shirt i had on it's like oh god i gotta throw a sport
coat on so i'm sure i
get trashed for that like what are you all hollywood now man trying to look
good so yeah that's why i'm
dressed up here i'm the best dressed man in podcasting today you are right now
for sure at this
moment i just i'm amazed that you actually look to check to see if you were
wearing the same shirt
yeah why do you do that for yourself you do that because the internet it's just
the internet is
non-stop shit it's like why help them out i mean it's like if you're gonna
trash me it's like i'm
gonna make you work for it i'm not gonna give you the layup it's such a mild trashing
i mean it's
coming from me i dress like a fucking idiot no i mean it just you know it just
it just is what it
is it's just like for whatever reason i mean i i don't know i get a kick out of
doing stuff like
that like which way they're gonna come at me today just make them make some
better at it
oh i see because i don't want to do you yeah you're bald-headed blah blah it's
like every
fucking day it's it's it's that's but just get somebody to come at you in a
thank you to get
you in a unique way um if they get me in a unique way it actually makes me
laugh and then there's
entertainment for me but if it's the same old tired shit i don't know they get
me lately for my
socks i didn't know that you you're not supposed to have socks that kind of
cover your ankles like
these are acceptable these socks are acceptable socks see that because they're
kind of those were
women's socks when we were kids and they had a little ball on little bunny
rabbit tail on the end
they were they were the chris evarts what happened remember you should have
calf high socks those were
the shit calf high socks and your shorts barely covers your junk that was it
exactly now everybody's
shorts go down their knees and their socks are non-existent yeah but the shorts
are coming back
up and i don't like that you don't like it no there's uh there's i've there's
been a lot of that
and then there's that that's the anti-man man who's so comfortable with his
masculinity you know
those hipster douchebags so they're like literally wearing like the old running
shorts with the slit
going up the side like macho camacho really oh yeah who the fuck's wearing
those i'm not a bunch
but i've just seen enough and you just look at the whole thing it's like they
literally look like
they're gonna go do some ron burgundy sketch or something but it's how they
walk around and they
act like oh no just i like these shorts i put a picture of my sneakers and my
socks on instagram
the other day which is not a smart move anyway like why did i even do that i
just went running for
three miles and my sneakers and socks were covered with dirt but the amount of
people to just shit on my
socks it's like what's wrong what's wrong with if they cover their ankles that's
it what's wrong with
those socks i don't know but i don't know but there is something wrong with
them i don't i can't put my
finger on it i don't like them either it's that ribbing around the you know it's
the yeah it ribbed for
her pleasure at the top and then like your sneakers too like you know if you're
gonna go run in dirt
like those are the ones that do it they look very like artsy though that looks
like some shit my wife
would appreciate if it was on a canvas you know the socks no the design on your
uh your sneakers you know
that modern art thing yeah the lines go this way and then they go that way much
like life and then
they intersect you know that type of shit and it's just like why don't you just
draw a house do you
ever go to lacma the la county museum don't go you'll go crazy no i i i i don't
i you know i think the most
important i would enjoy the tram ride up like this is fun this is cool i feel
like i'm in an amusement
park it'll infuriate you yeah there's a lot of like chicly dressed older women
with like
ridiculously weird glasses like the cut the color of the frames is always some
you know some statement
you know what i mean some splash of color to let you know that they have a
personality
yeah and the lenses are huge i'm probably just intimidated no you're not
intimidated it's nonsense
i went there and there i mean we've talked about this before but there's a
there was a box like a
plexiglass box on the ground that's it an amber plexiglass box and i thought it
was like some sort
of a like maybe a stand and then like the exhibits going in on nope nope nope
the box was the art
that's it right nothing in it every art form has that every art form has their
plastic box like no
this is stand-up there it is right this is a stand-up comedy special oh well it's
kind of amber a little
like uh i mean i guess this delight i guess but it's just a fucking box i mean
it looks like something
you would go get at a crate and barrel i could build that you easily could
build that you give
me some glue and you give me the pieces meanwhile it's probably worth 30 grand
i know and it's just
like i would literally put my feet on that in a second you should do you know
you got this book
in front of me here dear reader kim jong-il he looks like the kind of person
you'd run into in a
museum if he had like sexier glasses that lunatic will probably somehow hear
this and actually go out
and get some you know that he's skinned off of a dog he's dead that's not his
son no that's the dad
what's his son's name kim jong-un oh well it's definitely his kid they look
just alike did you
see that chowing how many dumplings do they have a fucking day everybody else
in the country's
fucking emaciated looking like they just finished the tour de france these guys
are walking around
plump yeah like they're on this six kid yeah dad bods they're so smooth and hairless
too they're just
fucking creepy i love them did you see that what's that guy's name basquiat how
do you say that guy's
name basquiat that basquiat painting that went for 110 million dollars no i
want to see yes it did you
want to see what 110 million buys you want to get grossed out this japanese
gentleman who bought is
some super billionaire character who apparently has another one that he spent
50 something billion or
million on hundred yeah that guy yeah that's when you're like eating endangered
species for breakfast
look at that stupid fucking painting that's 110 million that looks like some
shit i drew when i was a kid
and my parents put it on the refrigerator like yeah yeah that's great there
should be like notebook like
they know that that confetti that hangs off the side yeah what's with the tic-tac-toe
on his head
too what's that about it's got tic-tac-toe on his head hey joe it's whatever
you want it to mean man
it's all right it's up to your own interpretation i like the blue i always
found blue to be soothing
uh the guy looks a little disturbed look was that him trying to find his place
within the blue skies of
white america it's like the left one it's like he was a little kid and he he
fucked up and he just
scratched over it like the a and the b but he made the b backwards and went
shit and so he just scratched
over it they just left it there like look at that what is that
it's whatever you want it to be yeah 110 million dollars that's what it is and
there you go that's
lacma right there they would kill to have that piece hanging in there and there
would be all kinds
of women with weird glasses riding that tram up there to go look at it
rub their chins with their gay friends look at him look at that guy lost
bastard no he's killing
it dude you think so yeah look at him he's in great shape look at that haircut
no definitely no
conditioner huh i can't tell if his hair's just starting to go gray yeah but
isn't that like a
billionaire genius like you're such you're so good at business that you forget
to put conditioner in
your hair yeah and you got like sleep coming out of your eye and it's just some
some hottie just like
fucking hoses you off in the morning just wear this i can't i just keep
thinking there was a video
that i watched the other day of elon musk from 1998 when he was first becoming
a billionaire and uh he
bought a million dollar car and he had his million dollar car delivered with
his girlfriend at the
time we got rid of i was gonna say at the same time and you are my girlfriend
put her in the trunk
but it's it's so funny to see him as this uh young dork who's you know just
making shit tons of money
and his hair's all goofy and he has this million dollar car delivered who's
this elon musk the guy
owns tesla tesla okay did you see what you see what he's doing now but the
video is hilarious have you
seen what he's doing now the boring company do you know what that is they make
like electric jets or
something no they're boring holes underneath los angeles he's gonna bore these
earthquake proof tunnels
and they're gonna put sleds on these tunnels that go 125 miles an hour so you
drive onto the sled
it locks you in and it shoots you from like downtown la to wherever the fuck
you're going in you know
is this it jamie so this is how it works you drive onto this sled and it drops
you down this guy just
gets it look at this it drops drops you down below the surface of the earth
now what are these others others these are sleds so your car is that is fucking
amazing i want that
to happen it's gonna happen this crazy fucker he's gonna make it and these sleds
i mean you can't
crash into anybody so they can go stupid fast so they're going 125 miles an
hour now now now they're
created by men so at some point somebody's gonna not tighten something down
well those teslas don't have the best uh service like record as far as or
reliability record
sam harris has broke down twice already and i know other another guy who got
one and the handle
stopped coming out like you know you go near it and handle comes out you gotta
break into your own
electric car but look at this another guy gets to get in there there's gonna be
a line traffic jam to
get on to these fucking things but look at this passageway system that he's devising
it's gonna
be crazy there's gonna be these passageways all throughout the bottom of the
earth so underneath
the surface of the of los angeles to be all the streets but of course it's
gonna cave in right
it's gonna it's gotta and somehow compromise the structure of the city right
all those buildings
are you sitting on top of it uh i don't know if anybody can figure out it would
be i think that's
beyond my uh your background i will you know what's most more even more amazing
than that is that
japanese bill billionaire look like the japanese charles bronson if you go back
i love charles
bronson he does a little bit he does he looks tough like charles bronson in the
mechanic like that
one i've seen all his fucking movies i love all that he i've even watched his cologne
ad that he did
over there he did a clone ad oh yeah where'd he saw he saw the uh you saw the
softer side of oh yeah
he's like taking his shirt off he's spinning around this really yeah it was
very not charles bronson
that's back when stars would do for some reason only in this country it was it
hurt your career if you
did a commercial but you could always overseas you know do something like that
you could just it used
to hurt their their career but it doesn't seem to anymore like no not only does
it not now it's like
a move now it's like why aren't you just going up vacuum vacuuming up this cash
yeah like now matthew
mcconaug