Name: Joe Rogan Experience #969 - Andrew Santino
Uploaded: 2017-06-02T00:17:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #969 - Andrew Santino' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #969 - Andrew Santino' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-02. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #969 - Andrew Santino

three
why cheeto santino why that uh i'll tell you when i first moved to los angeles
um i was playing this
basketball league with these kids from east la there was like the only
connection i had in la
with these like couple of kids that i knew from long beach and uh we would go
play ball in this
league and then afterwards we'd go to a bar and just get shit faced like just
blacked out out of
our mind 22 like every dime we had was going to booze and partying so we were
partying and
i'm wearing basketball shorts like white people do when you play basketball and
all my mexican
friends you know they wear like whatever they had on the floor that morning it
was like jeans and you
know whatever there was never basketball shoes for them and we're sitting there
drinking and this dude
pavo his buddy of mine he looks down at my legs and he goes dog i gotta fucking
ask you a question
player like did you have fucking orange leg hairs dog i was like dude i've
known you for years you've
never seen that he's like no dog it's so gross dog it's nasty to look at bro it's
kind of like
if you ate a bag of cheetos and you wipe the finger dust all over your fucking
legs and she got
cheeto legs dog so the cheeto thing so then all these dudes all these fucking
all these homies were
always like cheeto it was just it just stuck so hard that when i got twitter
and instagram i was like
i have to have cheeto as my shit like i have to embrace the cheeto man wow yeah
this is a good time
for orange haired comedians the two of the greatest of all time have orange
hair it's it's wild because
uh i've always been such a massive fan of burr i mean i can't preach him enough
i think i i think i do
it i i dick ride him so hard i think many people i talk to are like all right
dude enough like i get
it you like him but i do man i i've always loved him and and louis changed the
game in a totally
different way um they're both those two best of all time shocking burr right
now is he's doing
something real special yeah he's also a man's man an unapologetic man dude
thank god oh there's so
few yeah it's such a hard time to be a guy yeah you're not allowed to shame on
you say that if you
say that people like boo yeah i know it's so hard to be a man with all your
male privilege
boo oh cisgendered males complaining about how hard it is i said that judged
folks i'm a white
harshly white straight male i'm the literal enemy public enemy number one right
now yeah i walk around
you are the enemy you're automatically a rapist and a misogynist and an egomaniacal
money hungry
driven bad human being it's so it's so fucked up this is how ridiculous it's
gotten there was an
article oh they're still complaining about being a man there's an article that
i just read that was
advocating that women should never go to prison it was like let's stop putting
women in prison
yeah see if you can find that it was the idea was that women are suppressed and
they already
represent such a significantly small portion of the u.s population that really
so therefore heinous
crimes don't then they don't deserve the same punishment as other people that
have heinous
crime heinous crime the number of women hit men would just go through the
fucking roof right oh my
god if they couldn't be arrested yeah oh my god so much so much so much
domestic well that's like
saying okay so if you're if that's what that if that's the article's trying to
say then then say
any other repressed group in society then then minorities can't go to prison
anymore well they
that's the same logic they represent a much larger percentage though so the
thing there's she's
saying about women is there's so few women in prison already yeah and women are
like a lot of
their behavior is due to the fact they've been suppressed by men okay yes oh my
god well it's
just the idea of us being on two teams is so crazy yeah the penis team and the
vagina team yeah it's
that simple shirts and skins it's that simple right that's like you're all the
all people on your side
are good all people on our side are bad you know how fucking crazy that is it's
insane that well
that's what i said like um not to sound like i'm plugging my special but in my
special i talk about
i was shot in chicago where i'm from and at the time there was a lot going on
in chicago as there
always is a lot of cop shootings and i think there's a big up there's an
immediate uproar of like fuck
cops and i hate that because i have cops in my family and you can't just
blanket statement an entire
thing just like you can't blanket an entire race of people sex class of people
and say you're all the
same that's the same thing as saying like every cop is a bad person like are
you out of your
fucking mind i couldn't agree more millions of police officers that are great
people you happen
to hear stories about bad humans that happens in any industry right and and
honestly if you look at
it statistically like the number of bad cops versus the number of cops and then
you have to break down
the number of interactions cops have with people it's stunning have you met
people they're awful
people are fucking awful can you imagine every day you but imagine how awful
they are if you are a
professional enemy and they know that you're just a person just like them so
you're pulling this guy
over this guy's done a crime you know he's gonna lie to you you're and you're
the enemy and you don't
even know this fucking guy you don't even know him you don't even have a real
beef with him but now
his whole life is on the line right now in this altercation you never know if
he's gonna shoot you
you never you never know there's so many videos online there's the most one of
the most terrifying videos
of this cop pulling this guy over and the guy was some vietnam veteran who's a
a real fucking killer
and he wound up killing the cop and they show him killing the cop on the
security camera the guy's
trying to give this guy all the all the room in the world's like sir please get
back in your car
sir please get back start sir put your hands down sir sir put the gun down sir
and then it gets to the
i mean he's trying so hard not to be a cunt and this guy shoots him and kills
him and you're
telling me that other cops haven't seen that video yeah you don't think that
they're terrified that
they're going to be the next guy that's on some fucking youtube clip that two
comics are talking
about on a podcast because it could happen easy every time you pull a guy over
your life's on the line
and the stress of that is ungodly and we expect them to manage it like robots
we expect them to be like
no person we've ever met right where they just no problem no stress if you you're
a fucking accountant
what is the worst shit that can happen to you once you're in the office the
printer breaks almost almost
nothing is life-threatening no microsoft excel crashed this morning everyone's
going crazy in
fucking accounting if you're a beat cop jesus christ well it's the same way
with uh you know i know this
is this is all this has been said but the way we treat veterans and shit it's
like you know i grew up
with a kid who was a really close friend of mine that killed himself a couple
years ago was a veteran
and i think the expectation of the return to normalcy is not only ridiculous
and it's an insane request but
it's just so illogical that that's a that's not approached it's like dude these
people can't come
back from any sort of combat and and just be pushed back into the real world
like well you're good right
you're good did we did you turn off the switch when you landed back in the
united states yeah man
it was just a little toggle in my head and then i'm good now i should go get a
regular job i guess
yeah and the just the lack of responsibility that we have for like taking care
of those people it's
crazy the lack of uh emphasis on psychological recovery on giving them coping
skills mental health
man that's the biggest issue in the united states i say that all the time it's
like there's so much
lack of help for mental health dude you see it so constantly in so many
different facets now i think
it's coming out more because of the internet because you see you know violent
crimes and and and you
see where mental health has kind of led our country now there should be a
bigger focus on it dude i had
a psychiatrist on the podcast yesterday kelly brogan who uh she wrote a book
called what is it called
the mind of your own a mind of your own is the name of her we talked all about
these psychiatric drugs
and when they prescribe them and why they prescribe them what are the side
effects and how easily they
prescribe them right and how so many of these same exact symptoms can be cured
by exercise and diet and
they don't even advocate that right and she's talking about like how incredible
it is like her coming
from a background of psychiatry being an md going through the whole training
thing writing a book
about it and you realize like oh my god they're just doping people up yep
because it's easy fix man
they want short-term short-term solution as fast as you can working out an
exercise sounds like such a
it sounds like a marathon yeah and they just they're like give me the give me
the 40-yard dash like what can we
do to get them in the 40-yard dash and they're like here take this pill and
that's that changes everything
just the disassociative quality of these pills are so dangerous and we just
hand them out not we
obviously you and i aren't involved but someone's not as far as the audience
knows we don't do it
imagine imagine if you're a guy right now working for a pharmaceutical company
and every day you read
the news you see some fucking mass killing you please don't let it be on our
right please don't
let it Pfizer every day it's like rolling the dice online hoping it wasn't some
guy on one of their
drugs she was talking about how with the numbers of people that commit these
mass killings that are
on drugs they're on psycho psychoactive some sort of psycho pharmaceutical
drugs she's like it's crazy
it's like 100 yeah well let me give let me let me give you something this is
how powerful that world is
i probably shouldn't say this but i'm with you so i don't really give a shit
but on the only one thing
i wasn't allowed to talk about or not talk about but specifically say on my
showtime special was about
accutane i went on accutane when i was a kid do you know this drug you know sit
yeah it is but it's
unbelievably unstable okay it's caused a lot of suicide people got real up from
it so it caused a
lot of chemical and mental reaction that they didn't anticipate for youth youthful
you know kids under 18
with underdeveloped brains used to sign a form to say i can die from this
medication there's a risk of
death that was a real thing for pimple medication but on the special showtime's
lawyers called us and said
i can mention the company but i can't say the joke uh i said if you don't know
what accutane was it
was developed in the 80s and the 90s to kill acne and then people and they they
were like we can't say
that i was like why can't i say that's a that's a fact and the guys you know
lawyers were like
they're a massive sponsor jesus christ that was the cricket that was the
control they were like
first of all i thought showtime didn't have any sponsors well cbs is there cbs
is their mothership
it's viacom right that was the only thing right yeah that was the only thing
that they were like
we just can't say that which i should respectively remove because i was like i
didn't need that piece
anyway but i was like that's so weird that they are that meticulous about this
one small thing
because they wanted to cover up the fact that people people used to die from it
people wanted
kids who are who are the most insecure point of your life you got all over your
face and you just
want to fix it with a pill because you want to feel better about your life you're
already so
vulnerable and ugly and weird and they'r