Name: Joe Rogan Experience #986 - Maynard James Keenan
Uploaded: 2017-07-13T00:09:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #986 - Maynard James Keenan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #986 - Maynard James Keenan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-13. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #986 - Maynard James Keenan

what's it called again what's the gym called verde valley brazilian jiu-jitsu
so verde valley bjj
and what what town is that in old town cottonwood and arizona so you
essentially like uh invested
and built a gym out there so you'd have a place to train basically yeah that's
such a smart move
yeah it's kind of what you have to do right yeah otherwise you'd have to drive
hours yeah i mean
there's megatons down south there's a bunch of places down there but they're
just it's you know
two-hour drive um there's also ted osborne osborne jujitsu has an academy there
when you decide like
where you're gonna live when you decide where you're gonna like decide to spend
all your time
like do you ever go what the fuck am i doing in the middle of nowhere in arizona
i'm maintaining peace of mind and i remind myself of that right away so that's
like essential it's
planned out in the sense yeah just that that isolation a little bit just to be
able to unplug
and reset i think just my introvert nature i need i need that time i need that
i need that introspection
i need that moment yeah because for you you are kind of an introvert but you're
also kind of an
extrovert i mean you're the lead singer of tool i mean it's not like i mean you
can only be so
introverted and do what you do so you have to kind of like fluctuate it's a
balance but i need to
recharge i need to unplug and go back and recharge and then i can go back out
and do that a lot of
people never figure that out right they just kind of burn they burn the fuck
out yeah how'd you figure
out to not do that um first couple years of being in la realized it was just
such an energy sap i needed
to actually literally go someplace where there were very few people yeah that's
the move right god i
always keep thinking i should do that every time i go to some small town i'm
like this is probably the
way to live just like know the people around you live around a few thousand
people you know have a
grocery store that can back and backfire too oh totally yeah small town small
town drama big town drama
it ends up being the same thing but you actually it's not a stranger yelling at
you it's your neighbor
well i think the small town drama is better if there's a college in town for
some reason
right like those places like boulder or there's a bunch of cities like that
like bozeman montana is a
good example there's these places that are like they're not big but the
university somehow another
balances out the intellectual vibe of the town i could see that yeah like boulder
yeah boulder i wonder
what boulder's like now in the height and fury of social justice warrior online
activism i wonder if
uh boulder's gotten weird i haven't been back in a while because every place
has kind of ramped up
that shit yeah over the last few years you get me okay on this right dude you
sound beautiful can you
hear me okay connor sound of man he's got conor mcgregor standing right in
front of him for advice
so if anything goes south connor doesn't have his fuck you pinstripe suit on
though he's got his
fuck you attitude in his fists right now did you see the press conference no i
that's one of those i was
trying to find what's the edit to like watch that thing rather than this there's
so much
streaming going on i had no idea what i was looking for yeah the best for all
you want to see is connor
talking and a little bit of a little bit of floyd mayweather responding but connor
talking there's
dana white's video feed you can watch it on we can put it up right now you want
to you want to listen
to it why not go to dana white's um instagram profile and then once you go to
his instagram profile
go to uh the video uh that's playing in his youtube there's like a link like on
his instagram page but
connor's hilarious man he's fucking hilarious and he was laughing and having a
great time and
floyd seemed like he seemed a little rattled by like how confident this guy is
when they were going
face to face and standing off with each other yeah give me some volume when
they get face to face
go back to that listen to him talk some shit no little go before that
go before that there you go right there right there it's good
he can't even afford to see you anymore
damn he is
there's no other way about it his little legs his little core his little head
i'm gonna knock him out inside four rounds mark my words
wait till they get in front of each other and they start john
it's a flagger an august mcgregor line i've got my own line of suits coming out
if you zoom in on the pinstriper says fuck you
look let's get this world to start let's have fun thank you so much everybody i
appreciate it
now watch when him and floyd mayweather get in front of each other so scoot
ahead to when him
and floyd gets up and says a bunch of shit and a bunch of other people say a
bunch of shit
floyd looked really stupid back up a little bit because you see floyd hold up
his check for
100 million look at back it up back it up
right here
still got 100 million and then he never touched this shit
that's it a tax man
you're right i'm the irs and i'm gonna tax your ass
i gotta do shit
did they shut your mic off
they shut his mic off after a while
did they shut your mic off
and i i'm guaranteeing you this you're going out on your face or you're going
out on your back
now which way you want to go
which way you want to go
that's right sit quiet you little bitch
you're not even gonna kill me
you're not even gonna kill me
they won't let him use the mic
all you gotta do is show up
you just show up okay
and i'm gonna do the rest
i'm here right now
you just show up and i'm gonna do the rest
i'm here right now
you can get it right now
you can get it right now
you can get it right now
you can get it right now
you know we gotta pose the fighters now
face to face
watch this
selling tickets
that's what i do you show up and i'm gonna take me anywhere on the dome
anywhere on the dome
like me anywhere on the dome
keep your gloves up to you i break the guard
my shots break the guard
that's what i get i get i get nervous
Yeah, we got it.
Do your hands hurt? Brittle hands? Do they hurt more in the cold?
This is a real fight, you're dead, always stop.
This is a real fight, you're dead in 20 seconds.
20 seconds, I swear you wouldn't need to stop.
All right, boys. All right, boys. All right, boys.
If this is a real fight, you're dead already.
Oh, this is amazing. Do your hands hurt when it gets cold?
'Cause Floyd's had a bunch of hand surgeries.
You got brittle hands. Do your hands hurt when it gets cold?
Do they hurt when it's cold?
Yeah, I don't know enough about boxing to have any clue.
All I can look at from a distance is Floyd's older, he's slightly smaller.
He's also the greatest defensive boxer of all time.
Right.
Like, literally of all time.
And Michael Jordan was arguably one of the best basketball players,
but put him back in the game today.
Yeah, but Floyd hasn't been down for that long.
He's still relevant.
I mean, it's only been a couple of years.
I think it was two years since his last fight against Andre Berto, was it? Two
years?
Right.
And then before that, the Pacquiao fight.
You know, look, he's definitely not in his prime.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I'm saying, you know, so that was my first look.
That's what you look at and you go, age, reach, all that size, watching what
happened to McGregor up against Diaz,
having not, wasn't really ready for that larger dude to hit him.
Yeah.
Is that the equation?
But then, you know, McGregor's no joke.
So, he's, you know, but can he handle a guy who's done this a hundred times?
He's done it more than a hundred times.
I mean, Floyd grew up doing it.
The thing about Floyd is, I think you have an idea of what you can do to him
until you get inside the ring with him and then you realize how good he is.
His defense is just on another level.
He's just in a completely different zone all by himself.
His movement, the way he's able to figure out what you're going to do, the way
he processes your movement, throws it into his boxing computer.
And then before you know, and he's catching you before you even know what you're
doing.
He's just a wizard, man, when it comes to boxing.
The thing is, Connor is a way bigger guy.
He's younger.
He's way stronger.
I mean, physically stronger, not just in terms of like punching power.
He's way stronger with punching power, but he's also like stronger physically.
Like if he gets a hold of Floyd and starts manipulating him.
I'm very curious to see what, like his trainer John Cavanaugh is a very, very
smart guy.
I know he's also worked with Paulie Malignaggi, who's a world champion and one
of the best boxing commentators in the business.
He's helping Connor.
It's going to be interesting.
You know, on paper you would have to say Floyd has a massive advantage, but all
this shit-talking wears on a man.
That's a different kind of shit-talking than Floyd's ever experienced.
He hasn't had that.
He's got a guy telling him I can kill you.
Easy.
He's like got a guy telling you if this is a real fight you're dead.
You're dead in 20.
He knows he's right.
He knows he's right.
Floyd fucking knows it.
If Floyd, he lets his ego get crazy.
Let's have an MMA match.
Let's go ahead and have an MMA match.
Right, then he's dead.
That's it.
He's a dead man.
Yeah.
He's a dead man.
He's fighting him in the octagon and with Brown's gloves too.
Yeah, he said that.
He's ridiculous.
Let him use elbows.
Give him one more weapon and you're fucked.
You tie up and you want to do this and over the top comes an elbow and your
fucking legs give out onto you.
Give him one more weapon.
Give him knees.
Knees or leg kicks.
It's crazy.
I just think, Connor, I just think you need to calm down a little bit and give
him some space.
It's beautiful.
Don't give him any space.
Just give him a little bit of space.
Stop.
Shut up, Joe.
Give him a little space.
Just give him a little space, Joe.
That is the guy who makes those.
The bad motherfucker.
How do you pronounce his name?
It's Plastic Cell or Plastic Cell.
No, but the gentleman who makes it.
Oh, Phong Tran, I believe.
Yeah.
He's a bad motherfucker.
Pretty amazing.
Yeah.
It's crazy, right?
So accurate.
Biggie?
Where's Biggie?
They're all over it there.
Oh, we had to move him.
We were doing something here.
Look at the Biggie one.
Oh, yeah.
And the Tupac one.
Guy's a wizard, man.
Who's this?
That's my bitch.
Who's that?
That's me.
Who's that guy?
But look, it's a spectacle, you know?
What happens, happens.
Yeah.
I hope Connor goes back.
This is what it's all about.
Oh, yeah.
Like, whatever happens in the ring, yeah, whatever.
That's gonna sell.
Yeah.
It's gonna sell.
They're gonna charge a hundred bucks for pay-per-view.
Charge who?
You're not gonna pay?
You're gonna pay.
How dare you?
Everyone listening is paying.
If you got a hundred bucks, you're gonna, fuck it.
Have ten people over, it's ten bucks.
You wouldn't pay ten bucks to see that?
You're out of your fucking mind.
I pay ten bucks.
Actually, my screen, the screen at my house is so awesome that it's actually,
it's worth, like, I have to, I have to, literally, I have to pay a thousand
dollars to watch it.
So if you want to come over, it's a hundred bucks.
You have to pay a thousand dollars to watch?
What do you mean?
Oh, he's got a thing.
I see what he's doing.
Do you have, like, one of those hundred-inch LED or LCD?
What is it?
LED or LCD?
LED now.
LED now, right?
I saw one at the, uh, at the store the other day at Best Buy.
They had, like, a hundred-inch TV.
Like, that is fucking crazy.
You're looking at that thing, it's almost too, too good.
Yeah.
No, no, don't do that.
Are you filming your, you're filming a lot of shit.
Are you doing it in 4K?
Um, I don't know.
You mean all the video stuff we do?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, uh, when that, when the RED camera first came out, we had some friends
that were using that, then they were using the, the Canon, uh, for a while.
Um, just filming on, and I don't know what they're 