Name: Joe Rogan Experience #992 - Ian Edwards
Uploaded: 2017-08-02T00:46:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #992 - Ian Edwards' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #992 - Ian Edwards' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-02. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #992 - Ian Edwards

oh shit here we go Ian Edwards back from Montreal back from another country
what up man what's up
brother good to see you man good to see you man yeah man was in Montreal at the
comedy festival
first of all Canada is right there yeah but it's such a hard country to get
into it's very hard to
get into it's crazy yeah they don't want any douchebags they have a zero douchebag
policy but
but listen I saw the ex-mayor of Montreal right in walking down Sunset in front
of the comedy store
the one that was on crack right is that the Toronto guy the Toronto Ford you
saw that guy yeah I saw
that guy one day walking by the comedy store and everybody took pictures with
him and he was the
mayor and he did crack there's a tape of it right so how the fuck did he get
here but Canada won't
even take a drunk driver from us that's true well I think crack you probably
better driver when you're
on crack you're just more expeditious you get things done yeah that's uh like
if you if you commit a
crime you can't get into Canada if you have a DUI like Patrice had a DUI on not
he had well not Patrice
but I know people that have DUIs that can get into Canada oh yeah it's super
common like on I can't work
there you can't work there you can't get in there Diaz can't get up there say
again Joey Diaz you can't
get up there right but he's got like some real shit right he's got some real
shit armed kidnapping but
that's why I say DUI because even though DUIs are serious the ones where you
you get convicted but you
do your probation period and you you know you you get your license back yeah
you even when you get your
license back you can't get into Canada but somebody who was the mayor and sold
crack and I know other
Canadians that probably committed crimes can be in here yeah why the fuck is it
so tough for me to get
in Canada when I got to the airport they uh I've been to Canada before so when
I got to the airport
they had me to try to fill out some immigration form and it's three hours I was
like two and a half
hours early thank God then they want me to fill out this form on my phone
online it's like 40 something
questions online online it's the new way to do it it's a new way to do it I
well again I got a British
passport so everybody that was just had a straight American passport went in
how does that work you
have like a Jamaica passport is that what it is no I got a British one because
I'm from England
from England yeah and so now when you're in uh America from England like how
does it work they
give you like uh I have a green card so you're not a full American citizen no I'm
like a permanent
resident I can't talk about certain shit with you why not because then it's
like treasonous
treasonous I gotta be careful I gotta be careful you're from another land no
man I'm here another
nation oh man I'm here isn't that odd I mean that's really odd like here here's
a perfect example
perfect example I didn't know that you were born England if I if you told me I
forgot right you
probably forgot I probably forgot and people forget we forget facts about each
other well especially that
kind of fact because it doesn't mean anything right it doesn't mean anything
but like automatically
like in the grand scheme of things I'm supposed to look at you like oh you're
on the other team
you're over here you could be one of those embedded people I just read about
these Russians man
these Russians in New Jersey did you hear about this I'm not Russian anymore
dude I'm not trusting
English people either anymore um the Russians were in uh I want to say Montclair
like a nice area
New Jersey and uh they were a regular family this the Russian family but they
weren't really this regular
family they were actually embedded Soviet spies well that sounds like the
Americans look at that shit
Russian spies New Jersey home heading for sale damn don't buy that house what
the fuck you want
someone to watch you fuck you might find money and shit in there's gonna be
cameras that watch the shit
come out of your asshole there's probably cameras everywhere watch the shit
come out of your ass I mean come on man you can't get a Russian house from some
Russian spies you got to be like a crazy person I don't know you might find
some hidden spaces with money and shit in there yeah maybe feel like a total
voyeur what does he said he said that he doesn't expect the Russian spy
connection to help or hurt the sale bitch you're out of your fucking mind
I mean that's not the worst thing that can happen to a house it's just a bunch
of you know spies nobody's
hopefully nobody's murdered in the house but when someone's murdered in the
house good luck selling that house
they can get the you get the price down
you're better off just burning to the ground smashing that thing and then
rebuilding a new house and even then people don't want to live there because
that's where the old house where the dude got killed used to be
the master how old is your house it's a brand-new that you know person in there
no no no I think it was made in the 70s 70s
70s yeah do you know if anybody was murdered there or died there
I've never seen a ghost so I think they have to inform you but there's a there's
a moratorium website you can look it up
I just heard about it I'm not sure doesn't ask you if you heard if you knew
about it a website where you find out somebody died in your house
yeah that's a good move when and when it was yeah like uh do you remember that
that this one always got to me man that um
those brothers that shot their their parents the menendez brothers and one of
them had a wig on remember it like this glorious fake
head of hair they made him take it off when he went to jail
it was a really crazy story because they shotgun their own parents right whoa
man how the fuck does that happen
the you know the one on the left the one on the left has a total wig I mean you
look at it now
like you go oh I get it now the one on the right was just blessed
just straight up blessed with some curly locks hilarious what the fuck man
those those those sons shotgun their fucking parents man
Do you know Kirk Fox used to teach them tennis?
that's right that's right that's right
I do somehow vaguely remember that so he has a whole story about teaching them
tennis
Dude that scares the shit out of me that people could do that
It doesn't scare the shit out of me nearly as much that people can get so angry
at someone they could shoot them
But it scares the shit out of me that someone could do that to their dad was
their mom - right and they shoot the mom -
Jesus they were
Adopted right were they yeah, I think the men and his brothers were adopted. Oh,
really? Yeah
And I think I think they're just trying to get money. Oh, what is that sexual
and psychological abuse?
They had suffered at the hands of their parents. Oh, well, there you go. I
Know it's like you always want to immediately blame it on the kids
Right they killed their parents, but the parents could have been fucking
monsters. Yeah, you never know. Oh, well, it's got they have to be monsters
I mean if you think about it
How do you make a kid that is capable of shooting you in your sleep? You got to
be you got to raise that kid horribly?
Unless you just by dumb luck have two
Complete genetic psychopaths from birth that you could have done nothing to fix
You've got two guys that are willing to shoot you while you're sleeping and you
raise them from the time where they were babies
That's crazy
Yeah, man. Anyway, I was gonna say their house
Yeah, I wonder what happened to their house burnt that fucking thing to the
ground probably I wonder what happened to like Nicole Simpson's house
Oh
It's still there so somebody lived there wasn't Nicole Simpson's was that a
house or was that an outside an apartment building?
Yeah
Yeah, that's a weird one because that's like it's a public building. You got to
just deal with it people just deal with it
Is that apartment like still empty?
Hers now that he killed them on the street, right? He killed them outside
But every time you go home you have to step over a crime scene to walk into
your house
And you've seen the pictures yeah, you know the history
Every time a OJ documentary comes out or every time they have a OJ series on TV
or when his
parole hearing it comes up. You're like
Over the doorway into that house
So I wonder who like
Like I want to talk to the person who's like doesn't give a fuck and lives in
that motherfucker
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, it doesn't bother him at all
Like a deal's a deal, baby
This house is badass
Sprintwood
Yeah
Listen, she should have been nicer to him
Damn
Did you ever see the, uh, autopsy photos?
Uh
Did I?
Don't
No
If you haven't, don't
It's not worth it. You get it
I saw the murder scene photos
It's just so hard to believe that someone could do that to someone
Yeah, it's pretty crazy
That they cared about, that they had babies with
Right
It's just people get crazy
It's Game of Thrones out here
It's so mad
But just rarely
That's what it is
It's like every week it's the Game of Thrones
It's normal on the Game of Thrones
Which I just started watching in
You did?
Yeah, I didn't know what the fuck was going on, man
I started watching this new season
I was like, I forgot everything
I've started watching it
Like a few months ago
I started watching it over from the beginning
Oh
Like every
That's what you should do
Watch it
Yeah
From season one
And you see how much stuff you didn't know
Or didn't understand
Right
Or didn't realize
Because Game of Thrones, they don't give a fuck
Like they'll introduce a new character
And have him talking to a regular character
Like they've been talking for a while
Yeah
And you're like, did I miss something?
Exactly
But then if you go back, you know
No, that guy is new
I'm not supposed to know him
Yeah, it's like homework
You gotta do research to understand that show
Well, these kind of shows have kind of
Stopped my interest in movies
Yeah
Like movies are okay
But a movie's 90 minutes
That's it
Or two hours
It's over
When it's over
You know, I'm done
Right
But these goddamn things get you infested
Yeah
Like
I'm not like
What is this?
A nerd
HBO hacked
Upcoming episodes
Game of Thrones
Data leaked online
Be careful what you look at now
It's all out there
So the results
Like the scripts
Is that what they mean by data?
No, no
Like the shows
Oh, no
The actual
Yeah, like they have them
Oh, no
There's a big hack recently
Some other shows got taken too
Oh, yeah
They should just edit offline
Oh, my goodness
Monsters
You monsters
How dare you
Be careful
Yeah
Some whiz kid, right?
Probably from China
Something like that
Russia
Yeah, we can't compete anymore
Russia's kicking everybody out of Russia
You hear about that shit?
They are
All the people that are working at the embassy
75 American delegates
Or whatever they would be called
I'm sure they're happy to go home
Yeah, like
Get me
Stay in Russia
Out of here
Yeah
Unless they got something going on
Yeah
Got some crazy fake Russian life over there
Just like the people in Montclair
755
755 diplomats
What does that mean?
Are we going to war with Russia?
Nah
Come on, man
They've got
In Montclair, right?
They got a house
People just living there
What happened to those people in that house?
Did they kick them out?
Put them in jail?
I think they put them in jail
Go back to that story
Like, how'd they find out they were spies?
That's a good question, man
That's a real good question
They just went to the house sale?
Like, whoa
Give me some
Give me some explanation here, y'all
It says their story partially inspired
The FX drama
The Americans
About two undercover Russian spies
Living in the U.S.
With two young children
That's a fucking amazing show
Is it really?
The Americans is
So fucking amazing
Really?
Yeah, man
What's it on?
FX
It's right in front of me
Vladimir and Lydia
How do you say that name?
Guryev
Yeah
Vladimir and Lydia Guryev
Lived in the home in Montclair
Under the names Richard and Cynt