Name: Joe Rogan Experience #997 - Pauly Shore
Uploaded: 2017-08-10T22:50:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #997 - Pauly Shore' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #997 - Pauly Shore' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-10. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #997 - Pauly Shore

boom and we're live dude you survived what's up buddy i survived he survived
the joey diaz
experience you know i got a i got a um i got a a a text from tom tom segura tom
right yeah i said
because he asked me we were backstage about to go on stage at the main room and
he's like i want you
to do my podcast blah blah blah and i'm like awesome and then we were texting
just about my
schedule with him and then he's and then i'm like okay i'm going to go see joey
diaz and he's like
dude fucking gummy bears watch out and i'm like what are you talking about i
didn't like i didn't
understand what he was talking about like i didn't you know what i mean i didn't
i honestly didn't
like i was like whatever i don't know what you're talking about and then once i
got there you know i
smoke weed sometimes you know i don't smoke all the time but i like to smoke
weed sometimes but the but
as far as the edibles i like dean gelber is like giving me some like pot stuff
but like cookies and
shit but then like he was eating these gummy bears and they're in in a bag and
i was like going
fuck okay and he gave me just like uh he gave me just like an ear or some shit
and that was it and
then i was just like talking him and then like literally i i couldn't talk
anymore i couldn't talk
like part of it only ate a half of one well he's got some i had to leave he's
got some that are like
500 milligrams which is just insane so you probably had half of that which is
like 250 which is
fucking insane that's an insane amount of weed but unless you're an og yeah i
had but i had done mushrooms
once before when i was younger and it felt like that yeah well that's uh to the
risk of repeating
myself over and over again which i do all the time but um when you eat
marijuana it's processed by your
liver and it produces something called 11 hydroxy metabolite it's a totally
different psychoactive
substance that's four to five times more psychoactive than thc so that's why it
hits you like that and
that's why people think they got dosed because when you smoke pot the the 11 it's
not psychoactive
but when you eat it it's processed by your liver it's something called a one
pass and uh that's how
it produces that yeah and i can't believe he let me drive home like seriously i
mean i could have
like because when i was driving home i was like dude i gotta go like i stopped
i go i can't answer your
questions and i said let's i have to go and i left and i drove out and he like
he let me drive like
you gotta understand joey diaz found his mother dead on the kitchen floor when
he was on acid when
he was 13. he would let you fly a plane on those things he doesn't give a
shit he's just like you'll figure it out cocksucker
but anyways so when did it hit you like you did a podcast like how
how deep into it probably 15 minutes into it and i couldn't speak i had to stop
like i couldn't speak did he ever release the podcast i don't know i think he
did the audio but
not the video oh i told him not to do the video because i couldn't answer any
questions yeah but
wouldn't that be funny yeah i guess i don't know i don't know i would like to
see myself that
fucked up where i can't even talk yeah those uh those edibles are fucking
terrifying they're goddamn
terrifying i'm like they're like you know skittles or some shit he's a
different type of human well
there's a lot of those people now because edibles and marijuana has been legal
for so long there's so
many medical patients in california that you get these people that have insane
tolerances and they're just
doing dabs and eating cookies and just like jesus just like it they go down a
hole you know the
whole marijuana movement and that whole thing is so much different different
than when i was growing
up you know when i grew up we used to like you know smoke it we'd go to the
beach and we'd put a towel
over us we'd hide it now like like last night i was at the the funnier die
party and it was uh it was
the 10th anniversary and i was just walking around it just smells like weed
everywhere yeah it's just
very normal now like you know that like i don't know that's just the way well i
think it's good
because it's just like drinking is normal you know you walk by the bar or the
comedy store you see a
bunch of people having a couple of drinks there's nothing wrong with that yeah
it's all good yeah
but thanks for having me my pleasure yeah so how did you this this uh
impression you're doing with
this white house character what's his name again uh stephen miller yeah that's
first of all
everyone's doing sean spicer they were until he got fired or all these
different people it's uh
scaramucci yeah well that too and sean spicer yeah but melissa mccarthy was
doing sean spicer she killed
it yeah it's hilarious you know what's funny trump thought that it made him
look weak that a woman
was doing an impression a woman should go and do an impression of trump now
because of that yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah no i mean i don't know i mean i think that you know i did a special
what was it i don't know
like i think it was like 2012 for a showtime called politics where i went to dc
and i did stand up in dc
and i interviewed all paul i love politicians like that's all i watch when i
come home at night
all i watch is cnn msn and fox just because that's it because i'm in shock and
i can't believe
it no i just go back and forth that there's so many fucked up things that are
going on in the world
the whole north korea thing is insane it's scary it's fucking insane well what's
scary is that
donald trump is saying shit like fire and fury that the world has never known
like jesus dude like
this isn't a movie this is real life yeah but i mean this north korean guy's
fucking nuts he is
fucking nuts he's fucking nuts it's like it's like dude stop shooting fucking
missiles in the
fucking this isn't like a playpen thing he just keeps shooting missiles in the
ocean all the time
like it's like he's like a kid or some shit yeah and he can't it's just i don't
know it's just uh well
i think guam is only like 2 000 miles away from north korea or something like
real close
so they're talking about him possibly bombing guam and that's what they're
saying now yeah no i i've
been watching it but that would be a death sentence i mean if if we decided to
attack north korea it
would be a death sentence to them and then also i heard because i know i know
dennis robman you know
i know dennis robman do you did you talk to him when he went over there i know
i don't want to get
too too into it but i know that he goes over there a lot yeah he meets with kim
jong-un because they
just get drunk and i don't know they go on jet skis or some shit like he like
he like uh um he likes
dennis robman so he brings him out but from what i heard is that kim jong-un
really loves donald trump
like you know what i mean like his the america he loves america but he's like
kind of acting like
he doesn't love america like he loves the american way look at that picture
yeah
so my point is is i think i really think that if donald trump went over there
to meet with the guy
i think that would appease him and just chill him the out
i think that's just my opinion maybe you should be like a liaison yeah see
there you go
but he gets he gets uh you know he goes over there and hangs out with him
because
the kim jong-un kid loves loves um i think he loves america yeah he loves america
and that's
it's just kind of like a weird you know there's there's no um what's the word
there's no uh uh
i don't know communication communication they're not communicating right you
know yeah well there's
language barrier obviously but isn't he young isn't kim jong-un like in his 30s
how old is he
yeah he's pretty young it's i mean imagine running a military dictatorship in
your 30s
and he's already murdered a gang of people yeah he already and and the thing
that's so crazy about
the whole thing is that like you think of isis and you think of that whole you
know how those people
like they don't care to die and they don't care if they're going to die and i
think that he's trained
his people all this and you see all he's on cnn all these marching soldiers
yeah i think those guys
are ready to die well if you lived in a shithole like north korea where every
day you're under the
oppressive boot of a military dictatorship maybe you'd be ready to die too like
it's either escape to south
korea or die yeah i i think what should happen is i think trump should hire
dennis rodman and like
put like a tracking device on him and they're jet skiing out and fucking the
ocean drinking and
shit and then seal team six comes in and fucking takes kim jong-un and flies
into america and then
gives all the north korean internet and like sets them free no this is like a
movie dude don't you get
together with stephen baldwin you guys know but i just think that i just think
that there's probably
a way to to to to to chill everything out there probably is a way to chill
everything out this is
not the way like launching test missiles and saying fire and fury and all that
shit not cool that's not
not chilling anything out but you know i don't understand what the conflict is
about in the first
place i'm not exactly sure what everybody's angry about i think because they
think that we're going to
bomb them and why are we going to bomb them like that's because i think that we
did years ago
right the hiroshima well north korea no hiroshima was japan well the asians i
think
i don't know the details oh it's a different part of the world but that's cool
they'll be super psyched
conflate the two of them yeah no it's um i mean we did horrible things during
the korean war to the
north koreans i mean that's literally the cause of all of this all the anger
and all the you know but
that's when north korea and south korea were split and north korea went
communist and you know it's uh
it's all a byproduct of that you know there's it's you could read about it and
actually there's a really
good book called dear reader from michael malice he's a guy who was on my
podcast and the history of
that part of the world is really up but it's interesting because you have north
korea and then
below you have south korea south korea you have a thriving economy amazing
electronics samsung they make
all kinds of great shit over there nice spas probably yeah a lot of plastic
surgery a lot of
cream yeah and then north korea is just right next door to them terrible
dictatorship it's
up man well no president has been able to to deal with it so no yeah and
probably won't be able to
i mean how do you resolve that one of the things that malice was telling me
that makes it so up is
that everybody has to rat on everybody else like say if you and i were working
together we would have to
go somewhere and tell someone what each one of us did wrong during the day like
maybe you didn't cry
hard enough when somebody died or maybe you weren't uh excited enough when
something good happened you
didn't cheer loud enough and they'll they'll rat you out for that and then you
know you have to be
accountable and then so they have like a culture of rats everybody's ratting
everybody out sounds fun
we don't realize how lucky we are you know to live in america dude it's one of
the reasons why
people complain so much about stuff because we're so soft or any slight little
thing that's wrong have
you ever been to prison before no never well i went to alcatraz but just to
visit yeah never been arrested
because i always think like spending time in prison would make you appreciate
just the simple things
because you always see yeah you always see like you know people that are
incarcerated they get out and
they like see the sunlight and they're like oh my god this is awesome and part
of me is like i think
everyone should maybe go to prison for like a month just to like kind of get
that get their normal
freedoms taken away from them you know i'm actually doing a benefit and i was
going to as