Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1005 - Hannibal Buress
Uploaded: 2017-08-31T00:11:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1005 - Hannibal Buress' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1005 - Hannibal Buress' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-31. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1005 - Hannibal Buress

Five, four, three, two, one.
Yes!
Yep.
Hello, Hannibal.
What's up, man?
How are you, sir?
I'm good.
Good to see you.
Good to see you, too.
You have notes.
Yeah, I wanted to.
What's going on, man?
I had notes.
I just wanted to be prepared.
I've had notes other times, but I just didn't have them written down.
You know what I mean?
Oh, you had them, like, in your head?
I had them in my head, but I'm an older man now.
Is your mind starting to slip away?
My mind starting to slip away, so I had some notes.
You're drinking Alpha Brain and you got notes.
Yeah.
Dude, you're ready.
What's the notes?
What do you want to talk about?
What's going on?
Oh, we don't have to get right into it.
Let's get into it.
It's written down.
We can just flow naturally.
It was just more for, like, you know, sometimes if stuff lag or something, or
if I feel like
I don't have something right away, and then I'll, like, peek at it real quick.
Right.
Oh, okay.
Right now we're fresh.
Oh, we're fresh.
Good to see you.
Good to see you, too, man.
Yeah.
Sorry about Monday.
Oh, no worries, man.
No, shit happens.
I just did not.
I was still in New York.
I just, I had booked my flight in the morning, and I just could not go.
You just couldn't do it?
It was just, I don't know.
You were too tired?
I was, it wasn't just a tight, it was just more of a...
Just didn't feel like going?
Yeah, it was just a, like, to, to, it was the five-hour thing, and I did it
today, actually.
I flew in today.
But it was just that...
Sometimes you just don't want to do it.
It was just that flight.
I was like, oh, I don't know if I could...
That's the beautiful thing about being a young, successful, single man.
You could do whatever the fuck you want to do.
It was, uh, yeah.
Yeah.
But I'm, uh, excited to be back.
Got weird, got weird last time.
Got weird, oh, here, yeah.
Oh, the last time was the Sam Harris one, right?
Yeah, that's, that's been a year?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Yeah, that did get a little weird.
Hey, alcohol, alcohol is a motherfucker.
It's amazing it's legal.
It is.
It's amazing it's legal.
Well, also, it was just, uh, yeah, I should have, uh, I should have went to the
comedy store.
Which I still did do.
Yeah.
Did a terrible set.
Did you?
Well, we got drunk.
A terrible set.
We did a podcast and got drunk, and then you hung around for the second podcast.
Yeah, well, you said sit in, and I was like, yeah, sure, sit in.
Yeah, it was Sam Harrison.
Who else was it?
It was, uh, the guy whose podcast it is.
Oh, Josh Zeps.
Josh Zeps.
He fucking loved it.
Of course, he got a crazy buzz.
Yeah, he loved the controversy, but you could see, it was kind of gross.
Even though I loved Josh, you could see it while I was going on that he loved
it.
He was like, yes, yes, yes.
Yes.
He was, yeah.
He enjoyed it.
Well, you were teasing it out, too, because I started getting messages, what is
this crazy
Hannibal, duh, Sam Harris.
And so I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
Because I knew once I left, I was like, yeah, that's going to be some weird
shit.
And then I was fine with it.
But then I kept on getting messages like, what is this?
When is that coming out?
Well, everybody saw it live, didn't they?
No, they didn't.
It was not a live thing.
That's right, because it was Josh Zeps' podcast.
It wasn't mine.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
Fun times.
Yeah.
It was a fun time.
Well, last time Zeps was here, he was talking about killing babies.
Really?
Remember that?
Yeah.
He was talking about, like, maybe you should be able to abort a baby six months
after it's
born.
I was like, what the fuck are you talking about, man?
See, did he have notes?
No, no notes.
See, that's what happened.
He wasn't prepared.
When you don't have no notes, you're like, yeah, let's kill alive babies.
Right?
Let's talk about it.
Gay dudes feel very differently about babies.
Like, they can't make them.
As long as they're doing only gay things.
There's no babies being made, so they're, like, so detached from the idea of a
baby.
Do you think that's...
You think that's what he's like, you kill him?
No, I don't.
No.
I'm just talking shit.
Wait, did he have strong points?
No.
No, they were terrible.
Straight up killed a six-month-old baby?
He was just being controversial.
Okay.
You know?
I think he enjoys controversy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Clickbait.
Hey, if you're not a comedian, that's a good way to get attention.
Yeah, get a clickbait.
What else do you have?
You know?
I mean, everybody can have a good point.
Right.
You know?
But can you yell about it?
Well, if...
Yeah.
Can you make a meme about it?
I mean, we're...
Our whole society, like, our news runs on clickbait now.
It's getting more and more slippery.
You know?
Me and my friends, we call everything fake news now.
Call each other fake news.
Yeah.
Like, I'm going back and forth with Ari and Bert and Tom Segura, because they
wrote some
article about Bert Kreischer, and Bert is going to swear off a booze for 90
days.
Yeah.
This is the new bet.
He's going to run a marathon and swear off booze for 90 days.
Where?
Okay.
I don't believe it.
Where is he at now?
Has he started yet?
No!
He gets drunk every day.
That's the point.
Yeah.
I'm like, you're going to die like Amy Winehouse.
That's how Amy Winehouse dies.
You told him that?
Yeah, that's what I said.
Oh, man.
That's rough.
You can't...
You got to be like...
No, you got to be honest with your friends.
That hard?
Like...
Yeah.
You going to die like Amy Winehouse?
I said if you just go cold turkey.
I told him to lay off.
I go, you got to wean off the booze.
No, that's heroin you die like that.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
With booze if you...
Heroin, you just get the shakes and you feel like shit.
But heroin, you can live.
Booze is one of the rare drugs that will kill you if you drop it cold turkey if
you're an
alcoholic.
But do you think...
I think there's a difference between heavy drinker and alcoholic.
Oh, well, yeah.
Casual boozer.
You know, like if you booze like...
Maybe if you have like two or three drinks at night and then you quit cold
turkey, you'll
be fine.
But if you're one of those all-day drinkers, and then you quit cold turkey, you
will die.
It's very common.
It's one of the more common drugs that you die.
I think there's like benzos.
Those will kill you from withdrawal.
There's a few different pharmaceuticals that will kill you from withdrawal.
But I don't believe heroin's on that list.
I think it's very rare that people die from heroin withdrawal.
What?
Yeah, they get really sick.
Oh.
Yeah.
You know what Carl Hart is?
Dr. Carl Hart?
No.
The famous doctor who is...
But I trust all doctors with just two syllables and their full name.
Well, he's got dreadlocks.
He trusted me more.
He's cool.
But he's a very, very interesting doctor because he talks about drug use and
drug with...
He's like, first of all, one of the things that he points out is like, oh, let's
talk about
a drug-free society.
He's like, there's never been one.
He goes, there's never been one.
There's never been a drug free...
And you don't...
Nor do you want it.
He goes, when it comes to whether it's caffeine or alcohol and then
pharmaceutical drugs, things
that help people.
He's like, we have this, like, we decide to demonize certain drugs.
Yeah.
And he's like, the drugs you got to be worried about, like, alcohol is one of
the scariest
ones.
Because if you quit cold turkey, if you're a hardcore drinker and you're
drinking all the
time, you'll fucking die.
Well, maybe cough syrup to win yourself off or something like that.
Something like...
I don't think it helps.
I don't think it activates the same part of your brain.
You know, I was talking to this photographer.
I was at this festival this weekend and she had a film camera, you know.
Do you develop your own film?
She's like, oh, no.
You can only develop black and white because if you develop your own color
pictures, the
fumes will knock you right out.
Whoa.
And so I said, so just a little bit of that would be a great time.
Just a small...
So just get a little bit of that and you can just...
Like huff and paint.
Yeah, you can do a goddamn job interview and nail it.
Maybe.
Just a little bit.
Just a touch.
A smidgen.
Just like crack a vial in front of your nose.
Like a micro dose of a little bit of that.
Have you ever tried poppers?
Do you know what poppers are?
Those are those things where they crack them and they sniff it.
Amyl nitrate, I think it's called.
No.
I did whippers in college.
Oh, yeah.
I did that when I worked at a creamery.
I worked at Newport Creamery.
It was like an ice cream place.
And they had the ice cream, those big vats of that.
What is the gas?
Nitrous oxide?
Nitrous oxide, right?
Yeah.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
And we would do like socks off of it.
That kills a lot of brain cells.
A lot.
That kills a lot of brain cells.
I remember I did it one weekend in college and then I think I did it on a
Friday night.
And on a Sunday, I was just walking.
I was just yelling all weird.
I don't know if I was forcing a yell just because I was trying to justify how I
felt or if it
was a natural yell, but yelling was happening.
Wow.
Yeah.
And you couldn't help it?
I don't know.
You know, sometimes you ever just tweak out by yourself just to...
You never just...
You absolutely do.
After like a crazy workout, you're like...
Hey, man.
Yeah.
After a workout, I'm usually spent.
Well, people just tweak out.
Just like how you did like a flex.
Like Connor at the weigh-in was just tweaking out.
But it was for show.
It was for show.
Sometimes you put a show for yourself.
Right.
Yeah.
Just change your state of mind.
Just by yourself.
Yeah, like people say if you smile, it'll change your mind.
Right?
It'll change the way your brain actually feels.
Well, if you freak out, it probably does that too, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Definitely.
There's ways to do it.
I mean, why else would Indians, like Native Americans, when they would do those
battle cries?
Why else are they doing that?
They're getting fired up.
Yeah.
You get hyped up by yelling or singing a song.
The Hakka.
Vikings.
Yeah, the Hakka.
Is that New Zealand?
Yeah.
Yeah, the Albuquerque.
Yeah.
It is New Zealand, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, they were playing.
It's this video of them playing the USA team.
Oh, yeah.
And they're doing this elaborate thing.
They're doing it.
It's very elaborate and just energetic.
And they cut to the USA team.
And they're kind of looking back, kind of just not confused, but just what's
going on.
And they went through this whole thing.
It's this right here.
Yeah.
They did it in a basketball game?
Yeah, the basketball game.
Give me some volume.
This is ridiculous.
You're playing basketball.
And it was like, yo, y'all about to get dusted by 45 points.
Yeah.
What?
Look at this.
You're playing NBA superstars, you fucking dummies.
But it's just for the coach.
It's for the, I mean, that's what they do all the time.
But it's, but it's just, it seems so stupid.
That's, well.
It seems stupid.
If you.
If you play a basketball, stupid.
No, I think if you.
It's a performance art.
Like the, the, the other players clapped.
The Americans clapped.
They're like, good, good job, children.
That was, and then that game, what was the final score of that game?
A hundred million to zero?
Is that what it was?
It's just weird if you do all of that and then.
Get your ass kicked.
Get dusted.
Get stomped.
Yeah, that's, that is one of the most unfair things ever.
That they let NBA superstars play in the Olympics.
That is so fucked up.
It was in our country.
From our country.
But it's so fucked up.
It's so fucked up.
It's like, look, Andre Ward was an Olympic gold medalist.
But if you let him box in the Olympics right now, it would be so fucked up.
It's just wrong.
Well, I don't, because the.
It's just way better now.
The boxing Olympics, they.
They don't let professionals.
Is it an age cap to it?
Or is it just.
No, no, it's just, I don't think they allow professionals.
Although that whole professional, non-professional thing is v