Name: Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - September 16, 2017
Uploaded: 2017-09-17T06:12:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - September 16, 2017' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-09-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - September 16, 2017' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-09-17. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - September 16, 2017

boom and we're live ladies and gentlemen with special guest little jimmy norton
thank you
jimmy i didn't think he was gonna be here this is a total surprise this is
awesome yeah i'm
shooting something tomorrow and i wanted to watch the fights i'm like this
probably i didn't think
you'd be in town you're always off like every time i call he's like yeah he's
away he's hunting
he's unreachable um and i'm just happy that you got back to me yeah dude it's
perfect timing uh
you know we had decided a while ago well i was supposed to be out of town too
um and then uh
decided to come back and make it back in time for this i'm like wow we should
definitely do a fight
companion so we decided to but uh eddie was available luckily should we be
watching the ufc yeah we are
gonna watch two different things at the same time folks this should be fucking
complete chaos the deal
is that the canelo alvarez fight is supposed to start at eight o'clock that's
what they've been
pushing and uh i think they're doing that because they're trying to get a lot
of people on the east
coast to buy it because after 11 p.m you're like jesus christ i want to go to
sleep you know because
they were doing them a lot of times like 9 p.m 9 30 it's fucking midnight new york
yeah it's crazy
you're tired you know saturday people can do it but it's like it's it's tough
to when it goes on 11
12 o'clock at night it's not wise especially with boxing because boxing has
weak undercards not
necessarily saying that this is a weak fight right but even if they have a good
undercard
what do they have like two fights right i mean how many fights they have you
don't want to see more
than that no i'm like a pay-per-view the worst part is when you when you watch
one of these fights on
the east coast by the time you get out the arena get your car it's you have
time for one drink maybe
and then they shut down bars well the good thing is the east coast they shut
down bars at four
yeah new york's out here you can go back to your hotel room take a shower take
a little power nap
and then you're ready to go to the after party yeah it's over at lake 10-ish it's
way better yeah
it's way better i never watch boxing anymore either i watched connor and floyd
just to watch it but i
never watch uh but i think i watched the last triple g fight that's it i watch
all of his fights and i
watch all canelo's fights and uh you know what's weird when you're watching a
guy start to slow down
like i watched uh miguel coto's fight and he won but he's getting hit more than
he used to get hit
he's like 36 now you know i don't think they have ufc style testing though they
don't have like usada
they don't have a jeff novitski so these guys can get away with a lot more it's
a little slippery
with like i don't think they do steroids in boxing that's hilarious
that's illegal dude you know what you got to see icarus i don't know how to say
it is it icarus or
i would say icarus oh you are yeah but i would say that it's one of those words
that i've only read
the documentary it's fucking amazing and it's all on this russian doctor that
was like one of the top
guys over there for steroids and how much shit they can give you and you still
test negative holy
fuck these guys are wizards this guy is they take this guy who's the uh the
main person in the
documentary and they they just pump them full of steroids he's like i want you
to have a full cc of
this and five of them he's shooting like six seven things in his ass they're
filming an experiment yes
oh they're filming an experiment with this russian guy who's responding one of
the things they said was
that out of the russian athletes there was some estimate in the high 90s of
percentage of people
that are on steroids who wasn't on steroids well i mean still like to this day
in rio they were
actually the olympics were thinking about banning the entire russian team they're
like their anti-doping
program is so sophisticated and so state sanctioned well can they pass usada
testing though could they
pass that level no no i mean it depends because they see the usada thing they'll
show up at your
fucking house you know like you have to give your whereabouts at all times yeah
they will catch you
and the other thing is they keep your piss and they keep your blood and they
keep it for a long time
i think like seven or eight years and they actually just busted a guy who won
the olympics i think in
two i want to say 2008 and 2012 or something like that but uh i think it was
two guys i don't know
maybe jamie could find it but they they took away their gold medals these russian
wrestlers they busted
them eight years later way later they didn't have a test for whatever they were
doing so that's what
happens it's like these guys are one step ahead but then the tests catch up you
know and then they
find stuff in them they retroactively go and grab your shit from from years ago
it's like when they
save somebody's head like tid williams hoping they can find a cure for whatever
he died from and bring
him back that's why they freeze your body or freeze your head right that's so
crazy the freezing the
head thing is so bananas you're like well listen for five dollars more we can
keep your body
no dude you know it's i'm taking a chance as it is let's just go with the head
just the head yeah
just the idea that they're gonna just keep your head frozen and then you need
to get like they don't
wake you up amongst the first people you get woke up after they figure out how
to reattach heads to
bodies right like you get woken up way later like once when they figure out
just how to reanimate dead
bodies that won't be that big of a deal but then detach heads on a new body
like that's a couple more
decades unless you talk to ray kerjwell he thinks we're gonna have that what in
15 years he's a very
wishful timeline is it possible to be such a famous fighter you have you're
rubbing shoulders with the
powerful the elite you're so famous is it possible for for a fighter to have so
much fame that he has
illuminati no the people that are telling the group no people testing steroids
that he would never
get busted it's totally like it's totally winky winky certain is that possible
it's totally possible
but it's just super unlikely because there's too many pieces involved too many
people would know
and it's uh also there's no benefit to them they would have to be getting paid
tons of money it's just so sneaky like in order if you have because you what if
someone dies you know
like what if someone gets a shit beat out of him winds up dying and turns out
that these people
got a hold of some money and that's what allowed them to not do drug tests on
this guy and this guy was
on juice and then he goes in and beats someone to death it's kind of hard to
keep anything electronically
a secret i mean the head of the cia couldn't make a fucking email disappear
look at this the russians
no one got busted refused to return it doesn't matter if anything gets out no
one goes to jail
hillary's not in jail well he stepped down though he had to step down because
he was having i'm just
saying what were you saying jim i missed it i was just saying i was saying
electronically you can't
nothing's a secret anymore like when uh what was his name the head of the cia
who was cheating and
he got busted that stupid email yeah uh well what yeah um petraeus yeah and he
was you know a war
hero yeah he ran the uh the whole what they call it the uh the theater he was
uh do you know the story
behind him though how he got caught uh i think they were investigating someone
else right
no he was hooking up with a chick and the chick was a little mouthy didn't she
write his book his
biographer uh i think there was her and i think there was another one and the
other one what might
have been a part of some freaky marriage situation where the husband and wife
bang other people or
something it was it got it got heavy enough where it was weird yeah and the one
of the ways they got
petraeus out of there was like through some sort of adultery clause which is
hilarious yeah it's like a
morals clause right like this guy is one of the best killers in the military
and you're telling him if
you bang other chicks we won't let you kill people it's crazy information that
it's coming from the
mainstream media like who knows what really all those guys tell the truth who
knows what's going on yeah who
knows like who knows what that is what they why they made him do that like what
what pieces might have
fallen into play frank underwood style that allowed that to happen well who did
he piss off it's like
elliot spitzer pissed somebody off 10 years ago and they went in digging and
they got him well spitzer
went after the banks spitz it's really a shame about spitzer because in any
other era elliot spitzer would
have been probably like a big time hero like some sort of a like clean them up
cop type of guy who's
like looking out for the good guy the problem is there was some serious hypocrisy
because it turns
out that he was actually targeting brothels right as well as visiting them
which is just yeah man you
can't do that like it's just that's even that's it's one thing if he just got
hookers sure but the fact
that the guy was arresting all those going out of his way for it yeah he was a
real douche and it's
like that's why i love to see these guys who legislate against gay people get
busted in restrooms and
stuff because you're actively trying to fuck somebody's life oh for sure and it's
always those people it's
always those people that care so much they get angry at gay people you know
that it's just such a classic
story they're hiding they're hiding they've been hiding their whole life that
they're they overdo it just so that no one
yeah uh sniffs them out it's such a classic cliche that you see it and you're
like oh god
so so obvious good lord did a great documentary on politicians who were outed
like who were anti-gay but
got outed as being gay you know what it's like it's like that really scrawny
type of male feminist that's
always like sticking out for women and saying like of course you are like it's
such a cliche it's it's almost
the same cliche right as the gay guy that's hates gay marriage and hates gay
people because he's trying to
cover it up it's usually these guys that are like overwhelmed with lust the
women seem so
impossible to to get with that they they morph themselves into this like uh
semi-real human
being that only looks out for women's issues all the time 24 7 doesn't see
anything wrong with women
ever you know that guy where it's like you're not even real anymore yeah gets
you to put on you because
then you're then you're allowed to walk among them and be comfortable yeah and
they trust you and they
call you an ally yeah you're an ally yeah and they the allies so everyone wants
to be an ally of course
let's watch the ufc yeah any problem with this is boxing but look man they keep
punching each other oh
it is interesting how it becomes way less interesting right yeah i haven't i
just can't watch anymore
well i watched mayweather versus uh connor i thought that was interesting i was
in iceland for that it was
like five o'clock in the morning it was in a bar and it was fun to watch
because of you know again i wanted
to see if connor would do okay but mayweather against anybody else i have no
interest in yes that
was lots of fun that was lots of fun dude i like watching that guy fight period
i'm always i watch
mayweather even if it's a boring ass fight because what you're watching is some
guy that just can do
things that other people are not able to do he's yeah he's great one step ahead
i just don't enjoy
him like i watched the uh the pacquiao fight and the bar and i was like oh yeah
you can't remember one
round from the next they'll look exactly the same what channel on 219 219 thank
you sir
so what we're going to do folks is just go back and forth from the fight so you
got uh so you're
totally