Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1014 - Dave Smith
Uploaded: 2017-09-25T23:16:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1014 - Dave Smith' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-09-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1014 - Dave Smith' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-09-25. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1014 - Dave Smith

I
President United States 2024. Dave Smith is with me. Is that a real date?
What is that a date? What's 2024? That wouldn't be it right 16 20 24. You got
it. That's right when I'll be ready
Dude, you could put off. We need a real libertarian candidate that could
fucking hang in there
Someone who's gonna break the mold Dave Smith and a can't stand-up comedian as
well
I didn't want this task, but now that Joe Rogan's called me you could do it
You're relatively immune to all the trappings that hit all its people. Of
course. There's dirt on you
You're a part of skank fest
You know, it's gonna be there's a lot of grabbing by the pussies
Yeah, you're on a podcast called the legion of skanks. Let's could that be
introduced in a presidential debate?
And then I have to go mm-hmm. Yes. That was my show
Yes
But you would do it just like that and everybody would start laughing we're
realizing that I just do it like a politician
Be like I repudiated that show years ago. I no longer associate with big Jay
Oakerson dude speaking of which they put wiener in the pokey today
21 months in jail for sexting I believe was a 15 year old well
look I
That guy single-handedly
Probably changed America. Yeah, I mean, I really yeah, I don't think he really
did by he changed it through dick pics
Which how else were you gonna change America in 2017?
They wrote edge Anthony Weiner gets hard time is that the post the post is
hilarious
Whoever writes for the post goddamn. They have some fucking great headlines
Anthony Weiner gets hard time. Oh, you know, what's horrible is before all this
happened. He was
Fantastic that guy could have been the president. He was he had that politician
II thing. I mean
He was he and he was like for a young politician on the fast track. Yeah, but
he I mean I really do think
Hillary Clinton
I mean
I just think it was such a close race that any little thing probably could have
made the difference so you could blame any number of factors
But I mean the FBI coming out and reopening an investigation on you like less
than two weeks before an election
That's pretty tough to get over politically like in any normal year any
candidate would be buried
But I after all that locker up lock her up. There's no way you can survive that
the FBI is looking into it
All the people that don't want to look into it any further than the surface
they immediately go. Oh, we fucking got it
It's over and I you know like I think there's also just in terms of the
politics and the way people work
There was something about Anthony Weiner where so it just it made the American
public think about him again
Yeah
Trump was bringing the women who are accusing Bill Clinton of rape to the
debates and I think the average person just kind of
Went like wait a minute. So so your husband is a sexual predator and your best
friend
Her husband is also a sexual predator. Like who the fuck are these people?
The story for yeah, well, that's one of the things that got me about Fox News
Because Fox News has always been the voice of conservative America on
television right these staunch verse the staunch voice of conservative America
But yet all this sex stuff comes out like the Bill O'Reilly tapes where he was
calling up his whoever the girl was and saying crazy shit
With a loofah sponge remember all that yeah, I read about it
It was great
But they had recordings of it and then it was you know the all the women that
accused him of sexual harassment
Sexual harassment with other people and then other people are sending dick pics
and like whoa you guys are freaks
And you know what's really crazy about it was that so Roger Ailes who's the
head of the network
He went down first for sexual harassment
And then as soon as he was down like a whole bunch of other people started
going down
And then you really start wondering like oh shit like was it just like a new
guy isn't letting us sexually harass anymore
What's going on? What's going on with this jerk off?
Well, I think it was just there was a culture that they could get away with
before the internet where they were the bosses and the women were the
Underlings and they all felt you know
I'm sure there's probably a lot of dynamics playing there, right?
There's a power situation the man the the guy who's the boss is in position
And then there's also women that are attracted to power figures and then there's
also this conservative like really repressed environment
Which always leads to freak shit?
It always does yeah, you have like people buttoned down they always lead to
freak shit
They have to find a way out that pressure is gonna go
Yeah, it's you're you're right
I mean I really I always say to people if you're in a if you're in New York
City if you go to a
Bar in the financial district like right after work
It's a really crazy scene something interesting like the exact dynamic you're
talking about where it's these people who are all day working in
This crazy like this and then like the ties are loosened and it's this like
girls are drinking and they take their shoes off at the bar
You know like whoa people are getting slapped on the ass like crazy shit is
going on that you wouldn't think your banker
You know the guy the guy who runs your retirement account
You know why because like we were talking about before with like before the
podcast started with like these ancient reward systems
There's an ancient reward system for plundering. I
I really believe that I think these guys feel like they're goddamn pirates like
they're plundering. Yeah, they're they're they're they're part of the
Financial market and then they're doing shots. We're gonna fucking take them
down
Yeah, we're gonna fucking take them down. They grab each other. We're gonna
fucking take them down
We're gonna fucking take them down and if you think about I mean if you think
about the acquisition of
Property of goods or anything like that throughout human history
I mean the the idea of like a just a theory of just acquisition of property
just like yeah
Pretty relatively new and the way everything was acquired for all of human
history was through conquest just through you know
You take it you take other people's shit and you gotta think that like a
hostile takeover must feel incredibly like sacking a city
Yeah, these guys. Oh, that's from Wall Street from what's his name? What wasn't
Wall Street? What the fuck was this called?
Oh, well, yeah, that was a great scene, but people resonate that scene
resonated with people. I'm not fucking going
I'm not fucking going
It's like being above the system kind of it is but this is tapping in just same
way football taps in
It's tapping into this ancient reward system for plundering
Yeah, when men get together and they fuck up other men and take all their shit
and then we kick ass
It's unbelievable how much I thought about this a lot this last year through
the election
But I was like unbelievable how much like that football team dynamic is just
the whole thing
Yeah, like it's like human beings love to get into a stadium
Be like red team blue team
Identify with one team and lose their freakin minds like literally lose their
minds and that's when they know it's meaningless
When they know it's just about a ball crossing a line and this is this has
absolutely no we'll still bring God into it
We'll bring a team into all the and and again you see like with this Trump
thing now that he just stepped on me and Jamie
We're joking around before we started like uh, but it's like he he like
threatened nuclear war and insulted Steph Curry in in one thought
And everyone in America is like excuse me. What was that second part excuse
what what did you say?
It's like and and both sides like this is just what gets them interested
Well, we are a gossip country now like 100% officially like what we like is a
squabble between the leader of the free world
Who's a reality star and some of the best basketball players that have ever
lived like oh shit hits on
Football players. I mean LeBron James is making videos about the president
being a douchebag
He's making videos about all these different people
Like expressing their right to free speech
I saw one of the tweets that he he tweeted out at the president where it was
like just kind of like a broken English tweet
Like he used the word ain't a lot in it
I was just like and it's just him verse Trump and I just had a moment where I
was like so this is where the national conversation is at now
Like do you remember? I just remember watching like William F Buckley verse
Gore Vidal debates and you're like how fucking retarded has our country gotten?
Have you seen those the documentary? Yeah, it's amazing really interesting if
you haven't seen it folks. It's on Netflix. What is it called?
Something I don't remember bitter rivals something. Yeah, no, that's something
is called bitter rivals. That might have been a UFC event
Back in the early 2000's, they named them all. Arlovsky, Tim Sylvia 3. It was
something. Best of enemies. Best of enemies. Thank you
It's a great documentary. When did they stop that stupid pattern? I don't know
man. UFC 54 obliteration
Yeah, I was saying they're gonna run out of adjectives. And they realized
eventually. Yeah, we are. This is a real sport now. Yeah, this is so stupid
Like you don't ever see it's never like Knicks vs. Sixers slam fest
Yeah, like you never have a name. It's just the World Series. It's just the
fucking Super Bowl. It's never there's never a, you know, domination event
Yeah, they figured it out somewhere along the line, but um what we're talking
about
Oh, yeah, how crazy it is to see that this is all going on while
Puerto Rico has no power and only five percent of it has cell phone service.
Holy shit
You want to talk about there's some there's a weird racist thing that we were
like if that was an island filled with white people
Do you really truly think it was an island filled with white people that spoke
perfect English and it sounded just like us?
Do you think we could have so little coverage of
Puerto Rico the way we do now? Oh, Puerto Rico is technically a part of the
United States
It's not a state, but it's technically like we had on
Peter Schiff, yes, we just had him on. Peter Schiff who was was fantastic when
he was on he just moved his whole team down there
Wow, boy, I bet he's regretting that shit now. For a guy who's known for
predicting the future
You really missed that one. That's like that moment and that that animated gif
with a black kid that's got glasses and he says that was funny
And uh, and everyone around going
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That's what you just did to Peter Schiff. We're a guy who's known to predict
the future. Well, he did.
Did you not see the destruction of your empire by God himself?
Turns out he can only predict subprime mortgage crises and not acts of God.
Fuck dude, and there's another one along the way. Look at this one
Oh, yeah
Oh, this is a repeat one over and over again, this is great. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That kid's face is so fucking classic. Like, if he shut you down and gave you
that face, you'd be like, "FUCK!"
He got me.
There's no counter-argument after this has happened to you. Like, you just
accept that you lost.
Yeah, I mean, you might be able to gain some ground afterwards with a couple of
good insults, but
You know, the fucking contest is over. If that's like, uh, happens halfway
through a roast battle, just like, call it for the judges.
Yeah, you gotta know when to walk away, too, with a loss. Cause it's way worse
if you stay there and keep swinging.
Yeah. Just keep getting fucked up. When that guy gives you that face, you gotta
go, "Oh, you got a good point."
Yeah, I'll come back and fight another day.
Look at him.
The kid puts his hands on his hair and walks by with his mouth. I'm like, "You
can't believe it!"
And then, I mean, that might be like one of the perfect events in human history.
Forget about, like, uh, you know, planting the flag at 