Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1016 - Whitney Cummings
Uploaded: 2017-09-28T00:22:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1016 - Whitney Cummings' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-09-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1016 - Whitney Cummings' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-09-28. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1016 - Whitney Cummings

I need fear tactics this video will not get demonetized watch
We're getting demonetized. What's happening? Are we going? Oh God, this is so
stressful
Why do you need scare tactics? Because it takes me so much so many threats
And so much pain to change my habits, but you're so self-examinatory
That's not the right word. That's called neurotic
That's a very nice synonym for it. Thank you. If you were not getting anything
done, I would agree with you. Oh interesting
It's not paralyzing. Yeah, I do. I I come from such a
Dysfunctional mind in the word. I feel like that's lost its value
I come from a very sick family and I'm very determined to not be sick, right?
So I'm trying hard to you get a lot of shit done. See, I don't I don't agree
with this
Like the the idea of paralyzing it may like hinder in some way shape or form or
cause
Obstacles, but you maneuver around those obstacles. So I don't I don't agree
with you. It's tricky
I mean, how do you I definitely would say it would identify as self analytical
but like
Do you think that's part of being a good comedian is being able to analyze
yourself and your neuroses and yeah for sure?
If you can't see yourself, it's gonna be super hard to
Get other people to relate to you. Yeah, because if there's some obvious blind
spots that they see that you're not addressing
It's my nightmare to not be self-aware and have everybody know something about
me that I don't know. I am liking constant paranoia
I mean and we know people who don't know themselves and who can't see
themselves and it seems really terrifies me
Well, that's what bothers us about those people
It's not necessarily that those people are that annoying what it is is we're
terrified of seeing that in ourselves
100% because the antithesis of a comedian is somebody who can't see the truth
and can't look in a mirror and like that's my nightmare
Well, I think we all know and I think anybody knows it's trying to do anything
whatever you're trying to do when you're trying to start a business or write a
book or what you just did
Whatever you're doing whatever you're doing. It's gonna be it's gonna test you
right? It's going to be difficult
There's no no one is gonna like get through it, you know at all in one
incredibly smooth linear process
It's gonna be like weird shit that happens on the way and when when you see
someone who's not doing it correctly
In your eyes or not doing it to the best their abilities or fucking off or
being delusional
It scares the shit out of you because you're like goddammit that could be me
And I could lose a year of everything I've been concentrating on to like deny I
lived in denial
I think for a long time and I was sort of like sleepwalking through life and
kind of like unconscious I think for like a lot of my
Teens and early 20s due to like some fucked up shit that I saw and lived and it
was all survival mechanisms
But I just always want to make sure that I've disarmed those and dethawed those
and I'm not like just being a puppet of my
Fear right, but I think like to give you more credit than you give yourself
I think that that self-examatory self-reflecting aspect of it
Which seems to you to like this be his constant self-criticism is just almost
like a watcher
Yeah, like a watcher over your thoughts to make sure I can keep this fucking
thing together
Yeah
We go but along the way look all the things you've accomplished see like I don't
think you've been I mean you haven't been
Impeded by it as much as you've been aware of it. Yeah, that's the idea and I
definitely think I need to
Stop there. We live in this world of constant feedback
And I guess my thing is like I give myself enough feedback
I don't also need your feedback with the likes and the app replies and the
trolls and the reddits and the whatever
So I think that that magnified it a little bit and I had to do like a little
bit of a social media internet cleansing
where I didn't sort of constantly like go down the wormhole of like
People trashing and that negative that's good. Just as a matter of resources
You know if you 24 hours seems like a lot of time until you start dissecting it
And the things you actually enjoy doing and how much time do you actually
really have yeah with eating and sleeping and traveling and commuting crying
Furious
Furiously masturbating and crying in the tub. Yeah, what do you you know?
How much time do you really have love you got to be careful with your time?
Yeah, no agree?
I'm pretty
Hardcore about protecting my time. I used to not be
When I'm before I got a handle on like my codependence anyone who wanted to go
on a fucking hike
I was at Runyon every morning ever I was getting coffee and I just like I don't
do that shit anymore
That's like one of the biggest problems with conspiracy theories
One of the biggest problems with people that get involved in conspiracy
theories they go
You remember what the fuck is his name? I didn't see that coming. Who was um
Hmm Kevin Costner Kevin Costner was in that JFK movie. Yeah, oh Oliver Stone
I wrote my seniors honors thesis on the post-modern implications of JFK did you
really? What do you think about that weird?
I don't have a ton of thoughts on like I'm not an authority on it. The movie is
unbelievable
I believe at the time it had the most cuts of any movie and I was obsessed with
Post-modernism at the time like Gene Baudrillard. So I was like I'm obsessed
with him using like archive footage and reenactive footage and new
Footage and old fit and just the way that he told the story was brilliant. I
don't know
I think in turn you mean JFK's assassination. Yeah, I was actually thinking
subject. I'm I
Just in the last couple days got annoyed at JFK as the president
I mean, he was the most telegenic president and the first televised president
basically, right? He kind of
Well, I definitely had been on TV that a bunch of guys had been on TV
But TV was a different thing in 1963 than it was in 53. He was the first like
star. Yeah, right?
Tan handsome. He was the first president who was like after him presidents had
to start being handsome and charismatic
And I was just in some arguments this week where people were like, well Hillary
just wasn't charismatic
I'm like who fucking cares like since when is that the number one box that a
president has to check not like qualified or like
We want magic people. Yes, we do. We want cult leaders. Well, yeah, we want
someone that comes out of nowhere
That also doesn't want to fuck all the time. Correct
We want someone that can figure it all out and has all of these key attributes
of a leader. Yeah, we don't want that leader conquer mindset
Correct. We want to have our cake and eat it too
But but JFK was the first like handsome president from then on presidents had
to look healthy. I don't have a present looking healthy
I want him looking tired and anemic. I don't want him to have been at Martha's
vineyard getting a tan
Can you imagine a time where we have a president that everyone likes?
No
I mean, I kind of amazing. Yeah, but that's just our tribalism, right? We're
not really designed to live in in tribes over like 60 people, right?
Of course. This is all just madness. Yeah, it's total madness
We're not designed for it. Yeah, we're bad. It's like but is it possible that
someone can achieve some sort of I mean
Even if you achieve some Martin Luther King jr. State. Yeah, you know, or you're
that level of speaker and
Although you were a black guy you were so obviously super intelligent. Yeah, so
spiritual that even racists had to go
He's kind of sexy, too, right?
His fucking way of speaking was so it was like a song it was it was like he had
this it was almost like a
Sorry to denigrate Martin Luther King but he had the cadence of like a comedian
who was like in the rhythm
Like he was hypnotic in the way that he spoke. Oh, yeah
Do not judge a man by the color of his skin but by the content of his character
like why
Like how like where did it and is that come from preachers, right? Is that like
preacher? Yeah, it's like musical
That was why Kinison was so good
Kinison was an amazing preacher, right? He was one of those hellfire tent
preachers
There's video or at least audio maybe videos well of him doing a tent revival
and it's fucking incredible to see that
It's just all about the rhythm and the Jesus
But it's also just the electricity
Which is like, you know, people are always like how do I do comedy and how do
we just stand up?
Do I write jokes? It's like yeah, you can write jokes. You can do this you can
do 10,000 hours
You can do whatever but like do you can you deliver electricity on demand?
I don't know how to teach you that you can't teach someone that no and hit
That's the thing about a guy like Kinison, too. It's like what he was doing
Like, you know, he was talking about the power of the lord and the power of god
and the power of jesus and say his name
He's stopping around on stage
and
You know and then that god god is alive
And the the thing is
He was doing it so good that he was right
He was doing it so good that the people who were watching got a feeling from it
like oh my god
I feel the lord
I feel the lord
And maybe you and I are too skeptical
Maybe we're fools because we can't just give into it
Yeah, maybe we're fools that we can't just sit there and watch some guy go off
Maybe we're fools that we don't just speak in tongues just let it all go
I know it's I mean, I'm too much of a fucking control. I'm just a science freak.
I'm like, but what about statistics?
Yeah, of course
I love the lord, but like are there some metrics to go with that?
something's happening. Why are they getting so happy obviously they're getting
He's exciting them. He's inspiring them. He's giving them some sort of almost
like mental placebo effect
Yeah, really do feel like they're I mean you really do get dopamine from
Someone being a leader and yeah taking charge so like just entertain the
thought that that's what god is
God is those moments, you know, and they they're more and more extreme as we
get more and more evolved
But those moments where people sort of figured out and get together and lock on
whatever that energy is
And they decide to kill Jews
Yeah, but they don't you know sometimes they get together and like I have a
good idea and it's a bad idea and they all start locking on
They don't do it unopposed though. You can use it for evil or you can use it
for yeah good
I feel like well definitely the whole
Biological instinct of humans can go south. They can get western with people.
Yeah real quick
Which is why people should be really terrified of anybody who assumes any sort
of position of power even the state itself
Like that's what freaks me out of all these people that want marxism and
socialism
It's like you're you want to how much money do you want to give the taxes?
Like you want people to pay 90% taxes. Do you understand that that means
someone is getting that money?
Do you understand that entity getting that money the government is going to
want more of it?
They grow they just keep growing the only trick about that is like you're so
smart
And you're like you the word understand it has no place in people trying to
feel safe
Like we're just these visceral animals who are just like am I safe? Am I safe?
Am I safe?
Like our brains are only designed to keep us alive
They're not designed to make us think logically and you're not safe. You know
one's safe. You're safe right now
We are a trash bag full of blood
Not even live texting and driving. We are about to die every 20 minutes. They
make some good trash bags
They do that you can shove sticks in there and shit
We are I mean, I can't but every day I'm like, how did I make it through? How
did I survive this day? Why aren't I dead?
Everything should kill us
I mean, I think it was in that book sapiens just the idea that like
You know so much of our anxiety comes to the fact that we all know that we're
only subconsciously at the top of the food cha