Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1039 - Iliza Shlesinger
Uploaded: 2017-11-14T23:43:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1039 - Iliza Shlesinger' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1039 - Iliza Shlesinger' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-14. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1039 - Iliza Shlesinger

All right, we're going to go live in five, four, three, two, one.
So, tell me about your book.
Well, it's about feminism.
I just want women to feel good.
I got it here.
Girl logic.
What is the difference between, oh, the genius and the absurdity.
What's the difference between girl logic and boy logic?
Or do you know?
Because I don't know.
I can't tell you exactly the way men think.
Because I think if I did that, I'd be like, slow your roll.
This book is about me sort of noticing that women are always called crazy,
psycho, psychopath, psycho bitch.
You know, like, oh, she's insane.
We always write off women as crazy.
And women are expected to be so many things to so many people at once.
And it's these expectations that sort of we have to take into account all of
this.
And we try to be so many things at once.
And we have to take in so much stimuli to process all this.
So our logic is sort of, it's sort of this, like, circumlocutious way of
thinking that seems insane.
Whoa, slow that word down.
What was that?
Circumlocutious?
Just sort of like, you know, like going around in circles, right?
How does that work?
Say it again?
Circumlocutious?
Ooh, big word.
Whatever.
I like that.
I mean, I've never heard that before.
So it's like, I'd never heard of the mad cow thing you were telling me earlier.
And I was like, oh my God, are we on?
As you were talking about it, I was like, please don't make me look stupid.
I don't know about elk having crazy brains.
But I just, the base, the boilerplate example is, you know, you say to a girl,
what do you want to eat?
And that's always an argument.
It's like this common trope, like my wife could never figure it out.
But it has less to do with women wanting to be difficult and more the pressure
on just that one decision.
If I say pizza, am I doing a diet?
Do I have to be in a bathing suit later?
Did I go to the gym already?
Am I expected to be thin in this society?
And we take all of this into account for every micro decision.
And it's all about processing how we don't let everyone, including ourselves,
down and all the thought that goes into it.
Now, this is you specifically.
Like, obviously, you're not speaking for all women.
I am.
Are you?
I actually am.
You got the title.
I got the rights to it.
I polled 10 women.
They were like, it's cool.
It's all I need.
It's sort of just honoring the fact that we get painted with these broad brushstrokes.
And there's so many and there's just so much that goes into the littlest things
because we have to take into account how other people feel.
So it's easy to say, oh, just be yourself.
But when you're a woman, other people's perceptions of you can have detrimental
effects on your future, on your safety, on your health.
She seems slutty.
So she deserved it.
She seems like a bitch.
I don't want to give her a chance, you know.
So our perception versus the way that we are, we're constantly wrestling with
these two sort of realities.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've often wondered, like, if you could, like, I believe that one day they're
going to be able to, you know, today we have transgender people, right?
We have people who decide to have operations, decide to take hormones.
But I think one day they're going to be able to literally turn a person into a
woman.
With, like, a shot?
Yeah.
Well, not with some sort of treatment.
I just feel like it sounds crazy to say today, people say, no, you can't change
your chromosomes.
Well, today you can't change your chromosomes.
But 200 years ago, the idea of sending a video to someone in Australia would be
ridiculous, right?
Right.
So, like, what we've been able to do just over a short period of time,
relatively, is pretty staggering.
And if you look at, like, what they're doing with CRISPR, do you know what CRISPR
is?
It's gene editing tools that they keep evolving.
They've gotten them to the point where they're starting to work on human embryos,
non-viable human embryos.
And they're changing the expressions of certain genes.
It's changed genes, like, stopping genes for certain diseases.
And there's, you all right?
Yeah.
I don't like this chair.
I knew it was an expensive, fancy chair, but it's weird.
It can drop if you want to.
You can make it lower.
I like to have my legs close to my heart.
Oh, okay.
Interesting.
But the idea is that they're going to be able to, like, make designer people.
Sure.
Right.
So this is less, this is, you know, you're a woman, obviously, by genetics and
your genitalia.
But this book is all about the experiences.
And this is more societal based.
This is less about what you're born as.
That's what I was going to say.
I was saying, if you could, like, I wonder, like, if that was a possibility, if
they could
reverse it, would I want to be a woman for, like, a week?
Yeah, for a week.
Just to see.
Just to see.
Just to play with yourself.
Just to stick stuff up there.
But I think that, like, we don't, we don't know about it.
The closest you come to understanding a man or a woman, if you're a man or if
you're the
opposite sex, I think is living with one.
Sure.
Or having one.
Yeah, having one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a big one for me was having daughters and just seeing how they just
interact.
Sure.
From the time they're one until, you know, they're older, it's.
Some of it's biology.
Yeah.
You know, this whole, you know, and you and I have talked about, or no, it was
someone
else, but still the sort of women excluding other women.
So this goes back to when we were hunters and gatherers.
If you didn't want someone to live, you'd turn your back on them and you wouldn't
share
information and then you and your offspring will die.
Right.
So some, and you see this in little girls, like they're mean, they're mean to
each other.
And as you get older, you know, you're taking in all of this stimuli from
society, all the
messages and we have to process these things.
And then eventually you get old enough.
You're like, fuck it.
I'm going to do it my own way.
But there's still expectations place.
And a lot of them are conflicting, like polar opposites.
Like you have to be sexy, but also demure outgoing, but don't be too pushy and
too pushy
They're outgoing, they're relative depending on who's in your path.
So, and women have to take these things into account because we got to do
everything second.
We didn't create professional sports or corporations.
We're late to the game for everything.
So it's a man's world and you do have to take into account those rules and it
sucks.
But these are all the things that we have to factor in when we're making
decisions.
And there's always going to be a certain amount of resentment if someone tries
to do it
a woman's way rather than a man's way.
You need a tissue.
It's never going to stop running.
You have allergies?
I don't know.
My nose just always runs a little bit.
Hmm, too Coke much?
I hate when people do so much about me.
Your nose is so little.
I don't know how you get Coke up there.
You'd have Coke rocks that would get stuck in your nose holes.
They're still stuck up there.
That's what keeps it mushy.
Like, I've wondered, like, I don't work, right?
I don't have a job, a real job.
And I haven't had one in a long, long time.
So the idea of, like, having a boss is alien to me.
And having a female boss is even more alien to me.
Sure.
So I was talking to someone who has a woman boss, and we were saying that there's
an interesting
thing that happens where a woman can do the exact same thing, and she's a bitch,
whereas
if the guy does it, he's stern.
Sure.
Or he's a hard ass.
Or that's, it's all this, it's a, you know, as women age, they're gross, and
men are austere,
or they're regal, or they're sexy, you know?
Right.
And that's, those are kind of basic examples, you know?
And I think we're moving away from that.
It's more nuanced things.
I, like you, really can't identify with workplace issues.
I talked to some friends of mine, and they're like, I hate that I have to dumb
things down,
or people explain.
And in my domain, like, I work very hard to be the one in charge.
And men don't speak to me that way, because they're opening for me.
Right, right, right.
There's just, I don't have that hierarchy, so.
Or they're the manager of the club, or they're, yeah.
And you gotta pay me anyway.
So, but it doesn't mean that I don't have a sort of sympathy for that, and that
I don't
understand what it feels like to be discounted.
When was the last time you had a job job?
Oh my god, a job job.
A job job was probably 2005, 2006?
So that's relatively recently.
Yeah.
I mean, 12 years, 15 years ago.
Yeah, and I wasn't mentally present that much for it, and it was kind of
relaxed, you
know?
But, and also, it wasn't like, I wasn't trying to get ahead at that job.
So, 2006, so that being 11 years ago, that's like, you're like a base, maybe
seven years
ago?
Maybe, maybe 2007.
Seven, whatever.
Okay, so 10 years ago, 11 years, whatever it is.
Yeah, yeah.
You're like a different human, right?
So, like, do you remember it very well?
Like, what was the job?
I was, the last job I had, I was an assistant in the marketing department of a
large company
that dealt with, like, blackjack.
It was like a blackjack.
It was like a new kind of blackjack.
Oh, interesting.
And so, but this, like, nice Jewish guy hired me, and I was just there to
answer the phone,
if anyone ever called, make some press kits.
Like, it was monkey work.
And you were obviously doing stand-up.
I was doing stand-up at night, and I would, like, spend the days sort of, like,
soliciting
people, if I could get a spot on their show, making flyers.
Like, I just use it as my own office.
And I didn't have to, also the environment, like, I could wear pajamas to work.
Like, no one ever came to our office.
Right, so it's barely, barely a regular job.
Yeah, there's definitely, I was like, I'm in the workforce now.
It's happening.
I think that regular jobs, there's obviously a huge problem with the dynamic
that men and
women have in regular jobs, but there's a problem with men and men in regular
jobs.
Like, I don't think that it's normal for people to be working on top of each
other, doing
something they don't want to do for long stretches of time.
I think it's very difficult to be yourself.
You have all these restrictions on your language and the way you're allowed to
communicate with
each other, and then you're obviously doing something all day that you would
rather not
be doing.
So, I have two thoughts on that.
One, it's interesting because we have this corporate structure, which is really
designed
to minimize suing and to minimize issues.
But since humans aren't meant to be put in these boxes, I think it perhaps
creates more
problems.
We're too confined.
But it's interesting.
I open a lot of my snaps on Snapchat, and you'll always get ones that are like,
oh, 449.
Can't wait for this day to be over.
Hate work.
Don't want to go into work.
It's all about hating your job, which I don't understand because I love my job
and I work
very hard to have a job that I enjoy.
But I don't know if everybody, I talk in my book about, you know, your passion
and finding
it and whenever you can find it.
Not everybody's meant for greatness.
Not everybody's meant to be happy.
And some people are dumb.
And I, you know, this sounds terrible.
Like I'm designing some master plan.
But some people need to just go and do the shitty job.
You're not contributing.
You should.
Not everybody is meant.
Like, just go.
This is like some Hitler eugenic shit you're pushing here.
Make my fucking phone.
Be quiet.
Because if you think about the majority of people you talk to, like, some
people are not
bright.
And no, you don't have the mental wherewithal to carve out your own happiness.
So do you feel like that that's a genetic thing?
I don't know.
Or is that an environmental thing?
I don't know.
I think it's a religious thing.
No, I don't know.
I don't know.
It just takes all kinds, right?
It does take all kinds.
But I always wonder, like, is it what they'